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Women and change..........

Discussion in 'Female Quantum Biology' started by Jack Kruse, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    One of the most difficult yet fundamentally easy things we can learn is to be a better listener. Never mistake listening for hearing. Listening is not hearing.
    Hearing is paying attention to the words that are said. Words are ciphers for thoughts. They are facades of our personal beliefs
    Listening is acknowledging what's not said because it's too hard to acknowledge. Listening is a deeper skill that allows you to see the thoughts that may be leading up to a choice.
    When someone tells you you're hurting them - listen to them carefully and try never to hear their words.
    Take a moment to stop. To acknowledge. To absorb and reflect. Don't respond with 'but I didn't mean to'. Allow them their space to express themselves as best they can with words and take a moment to feel their words. Words are facades not yet tied to actions that may or may not be coming.
    If you use words to hurl hurt at someone you might apologize. It might be that you didn't mean to use words a sword but doesn't mean they ain't hurting the other person who is just hearing you and not listening carefully. This is incredibly important when the other person's brain and cognition might not be optimized for any reason. The process of listening, forgiveness connection and change can be insidious and slow in life. Be ready to invest the time into seeing if you can salvage things and realize it is doable. You can never change a person. They must do it themselves. Never fall prey to the words that tell you that they have changed without any actions to back them up. To change something always requires actions and never just the words..........This is why Black Swans always reject words and focus on actions.
  2. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    focus on actions

  3. ElectricUniverse

    ElectricUniverse New Member

    Words are cheap, silence is golden. Always say less than you think and everyone will be happier for it.

    Once uttered words can never be taken back even if you strenuously apologize for them. They will be floating in the ether (and consciousness) forever.
  4. Karen & Glen C.

    Karen & Glen C. New Member

    If everyone lived in thier subconscious mind there'd be no war.
  5. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I love Dr. K's initial statement ....but I am wondering about the heading...

    Why is this thread entitled ..."Women and change"???
    Christine_L, Anne V and Sue-UK like this.
  6. Jenny S

    Jenny S Gold

    Good question!!
  7. Anne V

    Anne V Silver

    maybe it has something to do with an experience? what do i know?
  8. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    In relationships we understand that we must grow together with another person. I think Dr. K's post details a useful tool to get to growing with that other person. I never thought about it the way that Dr. K described, but throughout my relationship I've listened to what is not being said. If I listened to every word that my boyfriend used to hurt me, we wouldn't be together. Up until reading this thread, I had thought that this may have been a weakness and really struggled with that because I knew the "weakness" brought me a heavenly connection and personal growth. When I feel an overwhelming gratitude for our love and "I love you" just doesn't cut it, I have been thanking him for his patience and giving me time. After having said it, I recall not really knowing wtf I even meant, lol. Now I understand that I was recognizing our quantum entanglement.

    This topic of change has come up in our conversation recently. Changes made need to be made for the individual making the changes, not for anyone else. The benefits will overflow out of their hearts and into the lives of those in their circle. It's selfish to expect someone to change for you. I remember when I began noticing how much more kind my partner was in his communication with his parents. That felt like a gift to me.

    I think that collectively humans are getting worse at regulating emotions. This shift in information from Dr. K is therefore very critical for us to hear... however "unscientific" it may be received as by some members.
    caroline, Phosphene and drezy like this.
  9. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    I agree wholly.......I think this is a massive swing and miss in Optimal Health.

    I feel if I missed it so many others are too. I have reflected back to many of the consults I have done and at the core of most of them were two people not on the same page on how they should live as a couple or family.

    The issue is really the number one........in many cases.

    When you are approaching optimal by changing lifestyles you must make sure you are on the same page with someone. You must also be sure that you are reading from the same book and that all parties involved in your relationships know how to read and understand that book.

    Always focus on actions and never focus your attention on the words used...............
    Morena, Christine_L, caroline and 8 others like this.
  10. Annie Dru

    Annie Dru Silver

    On the other hand...
  11. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Good and bad have small margins in life-based upon the environment they occur in: "The more you tighten your grasp, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." Princess Leia to Grand Moff Tarkin.
    That's why rebels win and empires fall (good effect) and why relationships and loves become extinguished (bad effect) with the iron fist.
  12. drezy

    drezy New Member

    The term "human zoo animals" has been used here quite a bit in the past.

    Below the surface the term has lots of meaning for me. If you go to the zoo and watch animals caged up together in artificial surroundings you will see them get pissed off with each other sometimes.

    I struggle to think of more than a couple individuals here who might not be in cages of some sort. That's no recrimination either. I am in a cage.

    I'm caged up with a wild apex predator and her offspring. I've seen it, she can be vicious and wild eyed in defense of herself or her offspring. She can be cold and calculating and plays an incredibly long game. Like at any zoo, sparks are bound to fly occasionally. When they do and I get a look into a genius crazy wild and dangerous mind I always end up in awe and remember Blake:

    What immortal hand or eye,
    Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

    Out of the few titanic falling outs that we've had we fortunately found our way back to remember that we chose each other with some mixture of reason and animal attraction.

    The good news is that in the last year, through bumps in the road and distractions, we've snagged the key to the cage and sneak out regularly. More and more these monkeys are running the zoo.

    Don't be to lulled into keeping modernity glasses on all the time. I think the world is way brighter and more vivid when viewed unobstructed, especially the person closest to you.

    Have you ever thought that maybe one of the most thrilling things about kissing your partner is how close it puts you to your favorite apex predator's teeth?
  13. ElectricUniverse

    ElectricUniverse New Member

    Great comment, Drezy.

    Well, I have never thought of my beloved as an apex predator but in one sense I guess she is. She captured my heart with her feline grace and wily ways.

    Who we love and why we love remains a mystery. Love has no reason or season. It is the crowning glory to our mundane existence here.

    A life lived without love is a living death.
  14. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)

    LieselK and Annie Dru like this.
  15. Annie Dru

    Annie Dru Silver

  16. drezy

    drezy New Member

  17. Lukez

    Lukez New Member

    How to listen what is behind the words of people:

    "When our heads are filled with judgments and analyses that others are bad, greedy, irresponsible, lying, cheating, polluting the environment, valuing profit more than life, or behaving in other ways they shouldn't, very few of them will be interested in our needs. If we want to protect the environment, and we go to a corporate executive with the attitude, "You know, you are really a killer of the planet, you have no right to abuse the land in this way," we have severely impaired our chances of getting our needs met. It is a rare human being who can maintain focus on our needs when we are expressing them through images of their wrongness."
    ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg, founder of Nonviolent Communication

    Same goes or any government, company, doctor, politician.....wonder what you think about this Jack?
    LisaLearning and Phosphene like this.
  18. drezy

    drezy New Member

    We're built to be stupefied by wily ways and feline grace and we love it.

    Oh, your wife is an absolute apex predator hands down and has my respect. Sure, we've put a thin veil on it all almost like we play peek-a-boo with babies.

    I'll hand you a thought experiment to toy with and simulate in your mind. Imagine that you've been knocked down and are being mauled by some animal like a wild boar. Also imagine that your wife is nearby, with no one else in sight, and is in possession of a sharp tool.

    The actions might be predictable, but I'd ask you to imagine the look on her face as she saved you by spearing the boar. The facial expression is something that might not ever be seen in modernity, but it doesn't mean that it's not under the surface always.

    I'll make the assertion that it's that inner savage nature that lured you toward your female. Sure they can do a little dance and make us guys dumbstruck (guiltily here), but I think there is a kernel of completely raw energy that did attract us guys in the first place.

    If sharks seem dangerous they don't have anything on this and they are incredibly dumb in comparison.

    When you kiss those teeth are close to your throat. Don't forget that.
  19. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    Can you search and find a name a current address of that guy?
    drezy likes this.
  20. drezy

    drezy New Member

    Yeah it's some cemetery.

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