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Teach me how to ask questions that don't lead to a dead end.

Discussion in 'The New Monster Thread' started by Souldanzer, Jul 7, 2012.

  1. colleencoble

    colleencoble New Member

    So first they were onboard with fixing it and now they're wanting further evaluation? I've heard the Cleveland Clinic does a lot of the PFO repair. Maybe you need to go to a regional place like that. They might actually WANT to do fix it.
  2. Shijin13

    Shijin13 Guest

    When a doc or person gets offended its b/c you've bruised their ego - you're questioning their authority. You've got to make them understand that you want to figure out what's going on. so you're asking questions for your own education, not theirs. now you're questions may just educate them as well. its about the relationship and partnership. While not every doc is going to be as open as Jack - treat them with the respect that they are, and when they shut you down - keep prodding, asking why, explain that you don't understand and you want to understand - how often do doc's really get the patient who really wants to make themselves better? you're changing the doc's paradigm of what a patient should be - that's going to throw them for a loop b/c they're not used to the patient who actively participates in their care - they're used to the patient who asks for meds and wants to get in/out in under 15mins - you're changing them w/o realizing it. And they're puzzled by it. Just like Jack is changing us through knowledge and empowerment, you're changing them b/c of that knowledge and empowerment.

    you and I maybe the PITA - but a good doc will realize that our active involvement and ownership of our health is how they want all their patients to be... My doc has used me as an example to her UVA medstudent interns - telling them - they want patient involvement, who are willing to do research themselves to figure out what's going on... she loves that I take the lead in my treatment. She loves that I actively ask to test, when most of her patients she has to chase them down for labs.

    Changing the paradigm of care comes from us, not the doctors, not the health insurers, not the government mandated programs. We are the Revolution in health care. So gather your labs, your journal articles, and blogs and engage because your life depends on changing the system one doctor at a time.

    If you haven't read the book Power of One. this book says it all... this is what we're doing.... it takes One person to affect Change.
  3. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    Actually, they are both saying the same thing at this point.... further evaluation so we may figure out if this is causing my symptoms. But they arrived at that point from different directions. One doc was thinking and listening and the other one decided to CYA.
  4. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    I get your point, Shijin, and yet, at this point in my journey I'm not concerned with the bigger picture. I'm just concerned about myself and want the best care for myself. If in the process I'm affecting others... fine. But my batteries are running on low.

    It's the weirdest thing, here I go about trying to find health, and what I'm dealing with are other people's ego problems. Strange. Which would bring us back to listening to our guts. My doc's are regularly dumb founded that I'm not looking to get rid of symptoms.... I'm looking to find the cause of the symptoms.

    Second opinion doc entirely forgot about what I came in for her ego was so hurt.
  5. Shijin has it right. Doctors are sooooo used to the glassy eyed nods from patients, and reaching for the blue scrip pads without protest from the patient OR reaching for it upon the patient's request, that they are not used to people like us coming in with printed med lists, medical histories, labs, previous MR from other mds and thinking outside the box for solutions.... It can be seen as threatening, which is silly, but that is the way it is, at least in my experience here in the hospital.

    So what I do, with the mds I interact with here, and my own (and I have several, :( ) is to start off with..."I'm trying to get a better handle on my patient's situation (or mine) so if I ask a ton of questions, it's because I am learning" With my new func med gyno, I went in with a bunch of requested labs, and recited my detailed medical history reading from a printout, and actually told her with a laugh, "oh by the way, I'm a total pain in the ass with asking questions, so it's not you, it's me. I'm always learning" To which she said "I like that!" The doctors do not feel "challenged" (which is stupid but like I said, it is what it is) they feel that I am asking them to TEACH me. WHich is flattering. I have caught many flies with this honey, as opposed to my old vinegar of "listen I read this on the interwebz and why didn't you suggest this, why did you not suggest this, are you not up to date with the latest and greatest in your field, huh huh huh?!?!"

    Another tactic is to suggest the solution you prefer, and attribute it in summary to the doctor. "so in other words, for situation XYZ, if the root of the problem is 1-2-3, could we target that with *DESIRED THERAPYtreatment* and have the outcome you are looking for?" If they say no, then a simple "why not?" draws them into an explanation that will reveal their MO and help you decide if they are on the path with you. Yes, you do have to work around people's egos. But it is only frustrating if you try to fight it. Flow with it. Ha ha easier said than done. I don't mean to minimize your problem.

    One of my friends is a cardiologist, I get to see it from his side. His "informed" patients are informed by Dr. Oz and WebMD... oh brutha....

    And I'm sorry Dr Rude could not see past her bruised ego to help you. That sucks.
  6. Shijin13

    Shijin13 Guest

    Its annoying when someone else's ego gets in our way isn't it? ;) keep pushing on... you'll get it nailed down!
  7. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    I think that's the essence of this thread.... ask the good questions... that then make the doc feel like he found the answer :D

    I still want to know Dr K's "much better" questions.
  8. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    @Teenie: Dr Rude will be Dr Rude.... somehow I can now laugh at it a bit, ever since I found her real name :p
  9. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    anything that raises dopamine helps you ask better questions and decreases your procrastination and stimulates your curiosity......yoga, massage, sex, exercise, music and meditation are a few.......

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