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Sunlight and the winter of my discontent

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Carol Palmer, Nov 12, 2019.

  1. Carol Palmer

    Carol Palmer New Member

    I am hoping that starting this journal is the hardest part! Sharing is out of my comfort zone and therefore most likely essential to my healing. With that in mind, here are some facts about me. Curiosity was my gateway drug to finding my way here. Fatigue, mental fog, sadness have been my consistent companions for longer than I want to admit even to myself.

    I am a family nurse practitioner with a PhD in Gerontology so I think biohacking naturally appeals to me. I have been happily married for almost 30 years and have 2 children who are juniors in college. I have the time and the motivation to figure out my N=1 and I intend to do so.

    My diet is usually fairly clean and I learned a long time ago that I need more protein than most. I have the best trainer in the world in Jim Laird so I am starting out with some good support. I have found adding photobiomodulation and CT to be life-changing. I am also paying attention to nnEMF and ALAN and recently purchased magnetico.

    I have always been a nature lover and spend a lot of time outside with my 2 labs. I am making progress... my biggest challenges are the required lifestyle changes that affect those around me and honestly the EYE ROLLS! I tend to think of myself as fairly intelligent so having those closest to me treat me like I am "off my rocker" is very tough for me. I must admit to fairly strong streaks of ego and also vanity.

    I am here to learn but also to feel less alone in this journey.
    caroline and Jenelle like this.
  2. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Being comfortable with discomfort is the first thing to embrace.

    The worst part of being okay is that okay is far from happy. People forget we create our happiness from our choices. People often come to me asking for medication. They are often sick and tired of feeling sick and tired of some malady. They are tired of their sad mood, fatigue, and loss of interest in things that previously gave them pleasure. Their days are routine: unsatisfying jobs, few friends, lots of boredom. They feel cut off from the pleasures enjoyed by others.
    Here is what I tell them: The good news is that we have effective treatments for the symptoms of depression; the bad news is that medication will not make you happy. Being outside in nature provides a light that creates happiness. Happiness is not simply the absence of despair. It is an affirmative state in which our lives have both meaning and pleasure when we are fulfilling our cognitive bias of living in nature.
    The irony of life, In general, we get, not what we deserve, but what we expect from our lives. Few of us realize we can change the tension in our lives with new choices.
    caroline, Bob Stirling and Jenelle like this.
  3. Carol Palmer

    Carol Palmer New Member

    Thanks Jack! I have already learned so much from you that has impacted my life in a positive way.
  4. Carol Palmer

    Carol Palmer New Member

    Last week I felt great, this week not so much.. what changed?
    Physically I am ok but I tend to judge how I feel by how much mental fog is present. My job requires mental clarity. I have always had what I call good head days and bad head days. I struggle with ADD and have taken Ritalin for almost 20 years. In the first 20 or so years of my life, my symptoms were unmanageable and even though I tested well on standardized tests, applying myself mentally to any task was difficult. Things changed when I discovered caffeine. It was an instant game-changer for me and allowed me to fulfill more of my potential. Depending on caffeine and Ritalin is difficult due to extreme downs you feel as the effects wear off.

    During the summer, beginning hormones, spending all day outside, doing CT and red light therapy, I felt my physical fatigue and mental fog lift. This was more important to me than the weight that finally also came off. In September I began work again. I have always had a fear of not taking my medication at work because I might miss a detail that is important. Over the last month, I was able to stop taking my medication altogether for the first time in 20 years. I had it with me just in case and still do but I do not have as much fear to not take it. I am having coffee in the am, at 1 pm and 4 pm.

    I began sleeping on my magnetico sleep pad on Friday night and that may be the issue. I also had friends over for the football game and ate pizza after dark. The pizza tasted sooo good but if this was enough to make me feel this bad then I am not as well as I thought I was. I am not happy with the mental fog taking over again and I am trying to tell myself it is temporary and to just chill. Yesterday I had to take my medication all 3 times. I know healing can be 1 step forward and 3 steps back but it is easy to get down about it.

    My response has been to make sure that I CT each night after work. Doing something feels better than doing nothing.
  5. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    I already said “welcome!” on your other thread before I saw this one. But I’ll say it again. I’m glad you’re here. :)

    FNP with PhD in Gerontology. Interesting!

    I am a new RN ~ who chose to work in SNF/rehab, as I have a heart for the elderly and *zero* desire to be in a hospital setting.

    At one point I thought I might go the same direction as you. I am certainly capable of it. However ~ what often goes through my mind is: “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”.

    I recently had a realigning of priorities. I quit my online BSN program (with only 6 classes left) ~ and I opened up my mind to what I WANT to do, instead of the constant pressure of what I “have” to do. In making that decision to close one door, another was opened ~ and it has been GREAT.

    The pay is less than half of what I make as a PRN nurse in LTC. (Yes, I still have one foot in the nursing world). But the stress is at least half — geez, a quarter — and not only that, but I get a big hit of dopamine from what I’m doing. I ENJOY what I’m doing ... it feels as if it is *adding* to my health, instead of subtracting from it.

    All of this to say ... I appreciate what you do. Someone has to do it. I get it. But I hope you are able to use every hack imaginable in order to improve your mental and physical health at the same time. Best wishes! :)
    caroline, Carol Palmer and drezy like this.
  6. Carol Palmer

    Carol Palmer New Member

    So nice to meet you! Agree it is important to enjoy what you are doing and also to feel like the work stretches you and allows you to grow your strengths.

    I am actually working in a college setting at the moment so the other end of the age group. They are easy to be around and mostly well. Planning to make more use of my PhD in the next year. Hope to apply what I learn here
    Jenelle likes this.
  7. Rachel151

    Rachel151 Gold

    I am also dealing with the eye rolling.. with family and co-workers. It's disheartening.

    Also a fellow FNP too! :)

    Do you like your magnetico now? I don't know if I can convince my husband that we should get one.. he's still so skeptical of everything.
    Carol Palmer likes this.
  8. Carol Palmer

    Carol Palmer New Member

    Good Morning fellow NP! This is only day 7 for me. Last week I had a lot of mental fog which makes me crazy but I am starting to try to embrace it as a signal that I need to do something different. I have never thought about it like this before. Maybe I am the lucky one because I do have a brain that throws out red flags.

    This morning, I feel great and like I did prior to sleeping on the Magnetico so whatever detox I was going through hopefully is done. My husband is not on board but I asked for this for my birthday LOL. I also whined that all of my other mitochondriac friends had one and I didnt. That always worked for my kids... so I took a page from their playbook and now I have my magnetico. I will keep you posted. It is expensive so I can not say for sure at this point that I would recommend.
    Anne V likes this.
  9. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    Make sure that your husband is not exposed to the sides of your magnetico.

  10. Rachel151

    Rachel151 Gold

    That's so funny it was your birthday present. I'm getting an EMF meter for Christmas. Hahaha. Maybe not the most fun gifts but hey?!

    I'll keep an eye out for an updated review from you.

    And yes, my body totally lets me know when it's unhappy or out of sync. When I first started noticing changes from the mold issues in our old home, I spent a year searching and searching and doing lab after lab until I finally figured out the primary issue. Now, I realize it was likely exacerbated by too much blue light and not enough sunshine.
    Carol Palmer likes this.
  11. Carol Palmer

    Carol Palmer New Member

    Agree, we have a king size bed and purchased appropriate size but we have a smallish master so making sure we keep electronics out of the bedroom is a learning curve
    caroline likes this.
  12. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Hi Carol and welcome!

    What are you eating? and when?

    Have you looked at the leptin reset?

    I do way better on mostly carnivore.....but that is my n=1
    Carol Palmer likes this.
  13. Carol Palmer

    Carol Palmer New Member

    Hi Caroline,
    Good to meet you!

    I eat a breakfast high in protein, usually, 3 eggs with grass-fed beef or a chicken breast, walnuts and sometimes I add an apple to that. Lunch is mostly whatever my husband had for dinner the night before but I will add extra protein and a handful of almonds. M-F I usually skip the 3rd meal unless I am very hungry and then I eat light and no later than six. My weekend dinners are at all hours and revolve around my social schedule. I am slowly adding in more fish and seafood. Had my very first oysters last week.

    I am off in the summer and usually have no more than a few glasses of red wine on the weekend, I don't think about it. When I am working I drink 1 and sometimes 2 glasses most nights.

    I have looked at the leptin reset but have not been strict about the foods. I get mentally foggy with lots of carbs so am careful about those. Thanksgiving is coming......
    caroline likes this.
  14. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    The leptin reset is all about resetting our circadian rhythm.

    Jack tells us to eat breakfast like a Queen, lunch like a princess and dinner like a pauper.

    Breakfast within 30 minutes of rising

    leave 4 hours between meals, and four hours after last meal and bedtime.

    Wine may not be your best friend........

    This is all about the three legged stool.....light, water and magnetism
    Carol Palmer likes this.
  15. Carol Palmer

    Carol Palmer New Member

    Thanks Caroline!
    I will review the leptin reset and apply it. Do I need to worry about eating after sunset? I also get up well before sunrise so should I eat then while still dark or wait until sunrise?
  16. Carol Palmer

    Carol Palmer New Member

    This is my first morning doing CT before work. I did 20 minutes at 60 F. I feel good about that and think I can add it to my morning routine of grounding, watching sunrise and using my red light if I keep it to 20 minutes. My goal will be to gradually decrease my water temp instead of adding time in the morning. Even with music, I haven't made it past 30 minutes in a session.

    Moving forward in small steps. feeling empowered
    drezy and caroline like this.
  17. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I am not sure I understand about using your red light t sunrise?

    Feeling empowered is great isn't it.....

    We do have to take charge of our own life to move forward.
  18. Carol Palmer

    Carol Palmer New Member

    Hi Caroline,

    I had multiple paths here. One was the use of red light therapy for my skin. Using it helped my skin tremendously but it also began to help with my fatigue and my scale started slowly (very slowly) trending downward. This made me very curious and I began researching other biohacks. I now have a pretty set morning routine that includes a large breakfast, morning sunlight and red light therapy. I am also doing my CT sometimes in the morning because I feel more relaxed after and it is a good start to my day. I turn off the TV and play music and that also helps.

    The wine is an issue, I know. Major crutch. I rarely drink more than 2 glasses ever but I often find a reason to have some.

    Rough morning as I met with IT to discuss my concerns with all of the nnEMF in my office. They basically tried to soothe me that the FCC has it all under control and that I had nothing to worry about. I had already removed everything from my office without their knowledge or approval. They tried to scare me about not keeping my panic button close but I told them I would rather die fast than slow and that I had no intention of keeping it within arms reach.

    Condescending but it ended fairly well. I am going to help them draft a short statement regarding our panic buttons and the potential issues with having the device close to your body especially if you are pregnant. (most put them under the desk at lap). I work at a University in the US and more and more people are asking the University to provide panic buttons. So small win there!

    They both said they would also try turning off their routers at night. I think I came off as sincerely trying to protect others with my small but growing knowledge. It is a hard pill to swallow that no one has been watching out for us.
    Green Eyes and caroline like this.
  19. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    keep going.......
    Carol Palmer likes this.

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