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Social circle (5 closest friends) hack

Discussion in 'Biohacking 101' started by Forest, Aug 10, 2018.

  1. Forest

    Forest Gold

    Reference group or "social circle"
    the Harvard study found after many years you become the average of the 5 people you hang around most. People mirror each other.

    When I first was told about this years ago I thought it could be overcome by discipline. Now after reflecting maybe there was wisdom to this.

    How do you find mentors and peers who are good quality. Especially if you live far away from them. How have people done this in the past and distant past and the way way past? Is there quantum insight to this? Can this be overcome by self discipline? What criteria should you seek? Is this that important? How have y'all done this very successfully in the past, moderately successfully and not at all successfully? Are virtual friends, vids and books at least 80 percent as good, or not even close? Should you hang out with people who are"easy" to hang out with if there aren't that many options. What if really cool people are busy? How much time do you have to spend with them weekly for it to be effective?

    Sorry if these questions are a lot. Been thinking about this for years.
    Sheddie likes this.
  2. Sue-UK

    Sue-UK New Member

    One of the hardest things I've had to do is assess my relationships. It has meant letting go of people who are energy vampires, even if they are family. It doesn't mean I wouldn't speak to them if we meet, but they are kept at an energetic distance. My criteria is that if every time we interact, the interaction leaves me feeling drained, its time to rethink the relationship. A one off if they've got something happening and they are unloading is different, but you know the type I mean.... Persistent negativity ...And yes, in hindsight I see how in the past I've been locked into periods of negativity myself, and I was that person. :oops:

    I have a small group of very good friends, and when we arrange to meet up, the anticipation of meeting up with them raises my dopamine, the meet up is a joy, and that feeling is there afterwards, and every time I think of them. They are the people that even if I don't see them or speak to them on the phone for weeks, when we do speak its like we pick up where we left off. Its as if I have a pattern stored of their energy, and the pattern is reinforced by our next interaction. Leave contact for too long, and the pattern seems to start dissolving... but often that's what is meant to be.

    Virtual friendships are different, for example on this forum I get an idea of someone's energy from their words, and from the avatar picture they post, but nothing beats meeting someone face to face, even once. Eye to eye contact would give a lot more information about them to me, and me to them. I think it goes back to light - both parties emit light from their eyes, and those photons interact and exchange information. When I was practicing as a therapist, I would do phone consults, (it was in the days when face time or skype video etc wasn't the norm) but I always preferred to meet them at least once.

    I saw a programme recently about how technology affects our interaction with people, and apparently when you talk to someone face to face, the brain lights up in a certain way, talk to the same person on a computer screen and, although you can see them, the brain doesn't light up in the same way. It was quite interesting to me as it kind of answered more scientifically my intuition on why I haven't wanted to move abroad to live permanently in the sun - my brainwave patterns from my interactions with my children and grandchildren would not be the same using visual technology. If I had no other choice, it would be better than not 'seeing' them at all, but if all my important relationships were based on that, in the long term it wouldn't be a good thing. Another thing I saw was a study on centenarians, and maintaining 'real' social contact was number one important, well before smoking, diet etc.

    I don't think its about finding 'cool people' to hang out with - it's my responsibility to try to be someone that cool people want to hang out with. Which takes me back to Jack's post in the beginners forum:

    'Don't survive, thrive. Do life soaring. Our mitochondria in our cells read and react to our environment; it shapes us and we are shaped by its "perspectives".
    The six best healers in the world that I know:
    1. Sunlight
    2. Un-fluoridated water
    3. Magnetism/grounding to Earth/CT protocol
    4. seafood
    5. Self Confidence
    6. Friends who connect with you in life and not just on line.
    That is all...........Carry On.'
  3. Lahelada

    Lahelada New Member

    Beautifully put Sue. I would add that it is step 5 after 1-4 have worked properly. My new friends literally came out of the wood work when and who I least expected. I was not looking. Your energy signature is what attracts a friend/a mate. We have a narrative of "we are into the same things in the knitting class" but it is not really about the knit one,pearl one,drop one aspect of the activity. The activity is an excuse to meet likeminded people or people you want to be like.
    Sheddie, shah78, Christine_L and 2 others like this.
  4. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    If I had no other choice, it would be better than not 'seeing' them at all
    According to @Jack Kruse we do not have the other choice.

  5. Sue-UK

    Sue-UK New Member

    I can't escape the consequences of my choices, but I've thought about the risk/benefit ratio, I've changed my life dramatically to mitigate, and to regularly take breaks to the sun in winter to mitigate living at the same latitude as my children and grandchildren. At the moment my decision is that the benefits outweigh the risks, but if 5G or something similar changes that, I may have to rethink it. But I can make any choice that's available to me. ;)
    caroline likes this.
  6. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Your energy blueprint builds your dopamine network and is a reflection of where you are in time and space now...........at this present moment. That can only change via your choices to your environment. No pills, Rx, lab tests, or magic crystals will work.
  7. Then they aren't that cool, right?! I assume the "cool people" are the ones that mirror your values? What defines cool? Even if you feel like you COULD be good friends and they don't value time spent with you, move on from them! Not worth worrying over.

    You already know what you need to do. If you have friends who are "easy" to hang out with that don't uplift you, stop saying yes to them and see who goes away, trust me they go away on their own and you don't have to feel bad about it. You know who makes you feel good and who doesn't. Hang out with the people who make you feel good!
  8. Forest

    Forest Gold

    What would y’all do to find frands in a new place?
  9. drezy

    drezy New Member

    It's going to sound woo, but once you straighten yourself out the right people will resonate with you. It will become almost unavoidable.

    I snagged an excellent business partnership out of this quirk.
  10. Forest

    Forest Gold

    Where would y’all meet them if to make an effort
  11. drezy

    drezy New Member

    Farmers market?
  12. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Forest was not vibrating well........she has left the building.
    digital likes this.

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