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Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Slone07, Mar 22, 2012.

  1. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Slone's Info

    Starting weight: 235 pounds

    Highest weight: 248 pounds

    Goal weight: 135 pounds

    My story is not dissimilar to many out there.

    I have had Hashimoto's thyroiditis and been hypothyroid since I was 16 and got the Depo-Provera shot (I am 31 now). At least, that's when all of my symptoms came about. Fell into debilitating depression with anxiety shortly thereafter and with the help of my well-intending doctor, began a long, on again off again relationship with anti-depressants. My weight climbed and I was no longer an energetic, fit, and relatively thin young adult. My grades even dropped from straight A's, to D's and F's as my attendance dropped and I cared less and less (or told myself that, anyway). I knew that my issues revolved around my hormones and I began to research methods of fixing myself. For a teen with limited resources, and thyroid resources being slim at the time anyway, all I could do was ask my doctor to test my thyroid. And she did, so she thought, with just the TSH. Of course, like most people, I was told "It's a little low, but nothing to worry about." I was sent on my way with an empathetic hug (she really was trying, but didn't know how to help), a renewed prescription for Prozac, and a printout on how to manage anxiety.

    My high school career continued and my weight went up and down. I managed to get down to 145 pounds through starvation. Literally...my diet was a handful of gummy bears a day. But alas...I love food too much and that only lasted for a few months. I wasn't cut out to be anorexic. I also dabbled in purging, but honestly, I'd rather chew off my leg than vomit. I'm a wimp.

    Over the years, I've tried this and that to get better and truly healthy, but always knew that what I was going through was my thyroid. It was the various doctors who wouldn't believe me (I've been told it was "all in your head") or test anything other than TSH or T4. Looking back with the knowledge I have now, I see that even those numbers were (far) less than optimal and should have prompted some sort of intervention.

    When I was 21, my son was born. My pregnancy was amazing. I had a ton of energy, I felt fantastic, my depression lifted (I'd been unmedicated for a while at this point)...all was perfect. My son was born and the feeling of well-being continued. When my son was about 9 months old and breastfeeding a little less, I started a high fiber diet (which in hind sight was actually high fiber, very low carb), and dropped 20 pounds in about three weeks. I now weighed 180 and on my 5'6 frame, I looked the best I had in a very long time.

    A couple of years later, I went back on birth control. Stupid, stupid me. And the cycle starts all over again...

    In 2007, at about 215 pounds and seriously depressed (suicidal thoughts...no attempts), I suddenly felt an increase in energy to the point of anxiety and started running to deal with the anxiety. I started losing weight and joined Weight Watchers online (I attribute ALL of my weight loss to cutting out the junk and what evolved into HIIT with my running...I don't recommend WW to anyone). I dropped about 30 pounds in two months and felt fantastic. I was 178 pounds and happy, happy, happy. I met my now husband, got married four months later, and moved across the country. I ate fast food for the first time in months on the cross country drive and immediately began feeling like my old self...I believe it was because of the high levels of omega six...? Anyway, I gained 60 pounds in our first year of marriage and was beyond depressed. I became fat, nasty, insecure, and mean. Happy anniversary honey! I lived like this for two years, trying to lose weight, but seemingly gaining with every breath I took. It was uncontrollable. I started low carb consciously for the first time and was thrilled when I lost 40 pounds in two months. But then, I stalled. Long and hard for six months without any scale movement. I started using my treadmill again and doing HIIT. One day shortly thereafter, I collapsed getting off and realized that I was absolutely fed up with feeling exhausted after my runs. This couldn't be normal. For the next few weeks, I was couch bound and could barely remember my whole name.

    After joking in an online low carb forum about how ridiculous I must look, wearing a military issue polar fleece jacket in 78 degree weather and still being cold, and how my husband and I didn't fight about money or kids...our issues revolved around Laundry Mountain and my "laziness" (which was, actually an inability to stand up for more than a few minutes at a time), I was informed exactly how to properly get my thyroid tested by no less than 6 people at once. And to cease all working out, period. If it hadn't been for the folks at Low Carb Friends, I sometimes wonder if I would have died.

    I went to our military doctor on base and after quite a presentation of my thyroid knowledge and symptoms, got the usual, "We only test TSH and T4," so I took a slightly different approach than my usual hard-headed, full charge ahead one. In as much meekness as this strong personality woman could muster, I pleaded both crazy and ignorance. I told my doc that she was probably right and that I thought I was going crazy, so please, just run these tests and prove me wrong so I can move on with my life and take the prescribed anti-depressant. Apparently, proving me wrong was big on her list, so she went for it and checked off all the tests I wanted. In two weeks, I did not receive the phone call she said she would make personally, I received a letter stating that I was now being referred out to an endocrinologist because my thyroid antibodies were working overtime. I felt, in one word...relief. Thank you God, I am not crazy. It's not all in my head. There is treatment for this. I'm writing this here because I want people in the military to know that it can be done. Mil doctors are notorious for refusing to test thyroid or bend on desired tests, but it CAN be done. Keep trying.

    I did some research, found an endocrinologist with good reviews in the thyroid community (and the only one close by...I still had to drive an hour and a half to see her) and she started me on compounded Armour that very day. She said I could expect to start losing weight soon and try not to worry about it. About a year later (no weight loss seen, by the way), she retired and her replacement tried to take me off of Armour all together and put me on Synthroid. I said no with reasoning that my previous doctor already had a treatment plan laid out and had told me that my thyroid was so atrophied that I was no longer able to convert. She looked at me like I had three heads and said she simply wouldn't refill my prescription for Armour, but again, there would be a prescription at my listed pharmacy for Synthroid. My husband, who was there, also tried to reason with her and even as persuasive as he is, was unsuccessful. I fired her and we walked out.

    I am now ordering my thyroid medication from Thailand and trying to find a doctor who knows their head from their ass because, quite frankly, while I feel confident in my research, knowledge, and treatment options, there is so much more to my chemistry than I think I can handle on my own. Simply put, I'm afraid of really screwing myself up unintentionally. It's just too vast a field and I don't have however many long years it takes to become a TRUE expert in all of this to get it right. I have two kids and a husband and I still have the desire to LIVE. I may be making an appointment with the Holtorf Med group very shortly if I can't find someone closer (I'm in the middle of TX).

    Anyway, that said, this leptin reset protocol seems like the very least I could do for myself at the moment. I began reading and it makes so much sense and I haven't even gotten to Dr. K's blog articles yet! This is just from the Monster Thread at MDA. I'm eager to finish that so I can focus completely on his Quilt to learn all of the ins and outs of this. Two days in and I already feel better, mostly because I've learned WHY our circadian rhythm is so important...not just that it is. The three meals and no snacking seem to be helping already, too. I know this won't all be peaches and cream, but in the grand scheme of things, this is the epitome of self-nurture. I'm seriously committed. I will have my life back and teach others how to do this.
  2. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Started the leptin reset yesterday (unintentionally, really, but it worked out!). Had a hell of a time falling asleep due to a caffeine (lack of) headache. It was accidental, as I was super busy all day yesterday, but it made me realize that I really need to cut back on (or eliminate) my coffee consumption and break this vice. Once I fell asleep around 10:30 (after an hour and a half of tossing and turning), I slept like a log for the first time in ages and woke up at 7:30 with the sun feeling 110 percent and giddy (yes, giddy lol). I'm exceedingly nocturnal, and a typical bedtime is 2:30 am, so this is huge for me. Typically, I have to take a sleep aid to get to sleep and stay there, or I'll wake up after 45 minutes all bright eyed and bushy tailed. I took all of my non-stimulating supplements last night and decided to hold off on the MSM and multi-vitamin until this morning (which I forgot to take, so I'll take right now). I think that made a huge difference. I used to take my MSM and multi at night with everything else because I had such a difficult time waking in the morning and it proved helpful. Apparently, not anymore.

    Anyway, breakfast yesterday, since I was running out the door, was just a double Jay Robb shake for 50 grams of protein made with some heavy cream and water (meh...). Lunch was garlic parmesan chicken wings and dinner was a big bun less burger with bacon. Today's breakfast was 3 eggs and another shake. Not sure what lunch or dinner will be yet.

    Oh, and I dropped 1.8 pounds overnight. Totally stoked about that.
  3. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    I feel flippin' fantastic.

    I made beef stew tonight for the family with lots of good marrow bones in it. It wasn't until after I was plating it, that I realized that it had a ton of carbs from veggies in it. Carrots, peas, corn (I know...it's in a flash frozen mix we bought). I picked at the leftover bones and connective tissue for dinner instead and was content with that instead of picking around the veggies in a bowl of stew. I thought I'd be starving tonight, so I kept us busy. Took the boys to the library for a while, ran a couple of errands, and now here I am in bed, not hungry one little bit. I'm thrilled. I did have a moment of longing, however, when I passed the usual little corner store that I used to stop EVERY night for a treat. Ice cream, Oreos, chips...and Coke. Boy, that was a hard habit to break. Anyway, the moment of longing was just that. I noticed it and it passed. That may have more to do with me going off sugar cold turkey two weeks ago, but it was still nice not to fight with myself over it. I'm so tired of fighting.

    I noticed at the library, though, I could barely climb the two flights of stairs up to the top level. Heck, I could barely climb the first flight. I'm embarrassed to say this, but we used the elevator after that. I *never* do that as I'm always afraid of looking like "that fat girl who can't climb the stairs like everyone else." At least my (incredibly perceptive) boys didn't notice or ask...they just thought it was fun since we rarely take an elevator. I was contemplating walking in the evenings around the lake, but my muscles just get so.darn.tired. doing anything right now. I am praying that this improves.

    As far as my food issues go, though, today was a great day. Hard to choke down the eggs this morning, but worth it. The big breakfast makes such an amazing difference for me emotionally. I'm excited to see where this leads me in a few weeks.
  4. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Down another 1.2 pounds this morning which brings me to 228.8. This is more a result of me just getting back on paleo after falling off the wagon in frustration for a few months than the LR, I'm sure. I only lost 3 pounds my first week back on lowcarb (after a 15 cupcake weekend), instead of my usual 7-9 of water and excess (gee, if that isn't telling that I'm an old pro at this...), but i now realize i was consuming about half a carton of heavy cream in all that coffee i was drinking. I was basically snacking all day long. Anyway, out with that, in with ONE cup of coffee now and three meals a day.

    Fell asleep easily last night, woke up several times but was able to fall asleep quickly after. Am having a difficult time waking up this morning, though. I didn't manage to roll out of bed until after 9. Now that I'm up, I'm feeling better. it's a beautiful day today...I really want to have the energy to go enjoy it.

    DH and I are going to run to a little butcher shop about 45 minutes out of town today. They have the most amazing cheddar jalapeño summer sausage and breakfast sausage. We bought a half cow from them a couple of years ago that was excellent, too. I'm going to be sad when we move -- but oh, so, happy, as I'm exceedingly tired of living in The Beast (The Beast is our big ass RV that we're staying in while we get the house ready to sell). Anyway, I think they do mail order, so the cheddar jalapeño products should still be an option for us.

    Oh, one more thing, I just noticed that I haven't needed my l-glutamine supplement to help stave off sugar cravings. Even after last nights' momentary longing as I drove by the corner store. Very happy about that.

    I pray that all of this continues. Better quality sleep (and ability to actually fall asleep!), weight loss, balanced feeling...happiness...
  5. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Just had our BAB and Lord, do I need to find an alternative to eggs. We each had four eggs, four thin slices of bacon, and we split the last Jay Robb shake packet. Added coconut oil and a small handful of frozen raspberries to bind the coconut oil in the shake. Does the nausea of such a ginormous breakfast ever get easier? Ugh. Oh, and I had coffee with cream while making breakfast. We're at 61 percent fat, 36 percent protein, and 3 percent carbs. Is that a good ratio? Hope so.
  6. Birdy

    Birdy New Member

    The BAB gets easier. I used to make hamburgers the day before and eat one with my eggs. I also used whey protein some mornings, which was easier to eat, but frankly, I think I do better with meat. I don't do the BAB anymore, but I think it would be hard becasue I am used to eating alot less for that meal now.
  7. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Thank you, Birdy. I picked up some lamb chops today, so that may help. I can do hamburger with eggs, too. By the way, are you PaleoBirdy at MDA?
  8. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Random stuff tonight...

    I'm getting glimpses of sheer, unadulterated joy. Very interesting. Energetic joy. I also have a bit of a short fuse, as well, though... :/

    For the past few years, I've been operating on the premise that I'm totally, completely, and utterly broken. Today I thought (for the first time ever) that maybe I'm not as broken as I thought....God, if only! What a novel idea. Then again, perhaps I am... We will see...

    I picked up some lamb shanks and chops today. Shanks for dinner tomorrow, chops for breakfasts to kill the monotony of eggs, eggs, eggs. I love lamb and am glad to be able to get it locally raised.

    My Jay Robb Dreamsicle protein powder came in the mail today. As did my cal/mag supplement. My BABottle of MCT oil will be here tomorrow. Can't wait to try making mayo with it. Oh, and Paleo Comfort Food (book) came in, too! Oooh, I can't wait to make some of those dishes! What a great book. (I'm a lover and collector of cookbooks)

    Enough typing on my iPad. There's more I want to write, but it's late and I hate typing on this thing. lol
  9. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Just updated my first post/story to flow a little better since the whole thing was written haphazardly on my iPad initially.

    Gained half a pound. I wonder if it was my schedule being a little off. I had a little later start yesterday, ate my second meal WAY late (around 2:30), and ate dinner a little early. Ended up very stressed out (kiddo throwing tantrums...he's flippin' EIGHT years old...enough already) at bedtime and went to bed at 11 instead of 9. Will be sure to do it differently today.

    Had beef cheek barbacoa with three eggs and a protein shake this morning. Stuffed out of my mind still and it's almost noon. I'm going to eat a light, but high protein lunch on time and dinner on time, as well. Then, bedtime at nine. The early bedtime is so hard for me, as that's usually my "Me Time." I homeschool our two boys and with us living in The Beast (our RV) right now, time and space are sacred.

    Oh, last night at my Bible study, my friend's daughter was baking chocolate cake and cupcakes. I thought I was going to have major issues from that, but nope! Probably helped that she burnt some batter in the bottom of the oven...lol. Ew.

    Feeling good still. Emotionally, I'm doing great. I need to work on not obsessing over the scale. I realize that I may not lose any weight doing the LR, but any that I do is a nice perk. The scale has been my second biggest saboteur in the past (myself being the first).

    DH is doing this with me (as are the kiddos). He has probably worse adrenal issues than I do, though he's not as disproportionately overweight as I am. He's having a harder time with this due to tension headaches and working the night shift this week. Next week, he's got a pretty intensive IT certification class. I feel bad for him, but he has to manage his own stress. Lord knows, I've tried to manage his stress for him for a long time and it's just not within my realm of control. I support him, though.
  10. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    It's a gorgeous summery day. I'm sitting outside in the breeze, reading the monster thread, listening to classical music...very happy.
  11. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Wow...I made lamb shanks tonight and it was the most amazing dinner. I made it in the pressure cooker, a la Jacques Pepin, with bacon, red wine, good quality chicken base, garlic, baby carrots (which I only had a small few of), and my usual special touch, Zatarain's creole seasoning. I would have added onion, but *gasp* we were out. I almost panicked. LOL Anyway, these babies were HUGE!!! The bone was, literally, 12" long. The au jus left over was so good, it would have made my dad cry (ex-pro French trained chef). Needless to say, we have a ton of leftovers. I'm a huge marrow fan, and the marrow was to die for, as well. I made green beans with bacon (dishes have to match, now! lol), garlic, and clarified butter. They were amazing, too. I ate way more of the meat than I probably should have, but I've gotta say...it was totally worth it. THAT is soul food. I felt phenomenal eating it and still feel phenomenal two and a half hours later. Happy girl. :)

    Something I noticed while I was shopping today was that I was running super warm. It could have been the warmer than usual weather, but even in the freezer section, my hairline was a bit misty... I had a ton of energy, though. I was walking up the slight incline to the car and it felt so good to stretch my legs out long and get moving. I wasn't tired, like I usually am after shopping (it's my least favorite thing and is incredibly draining for me). I also had a ton of energy while cooking and was bouncing around with the energy of a kid.

    My DH has an iPhone app called "SleepCycle" that tracks the pattern of your sleep cycles and I finally synced my phone with his so I'd have it. I'm going to give it a shot tonight and see how I'm doing. Speaking of DH, I bought him some melatonin today. 5 mgs per capsule. I didn't want to start out too high, as nightmares with this are common, but his sleeping is seriously messed up and needs some major help. He went in for a sleep study once and apparently he goes into super deep sleep, past REM, but then is unable to stay there and is dipping in and out at night. I've seen his feedback from that SleepCycle app and it's like a roller coaster. The folks conducting the sleep study said that he doesn't have sleep apnea, but isn't that where you wake up because you stop breathing periodically? Because he definitely does that if he's on his back. Only rarely on his side. I may ask him to go get a second opinion on that. I'm very concerned.

    I'm also sure that he has very low testosterone. I really wanted to pick up some DHEA and pregnenolone for him and see if he'd take the lowest dose to test the waters, so to speak, but he hasn't had any tests and I really don't want to screw him up. I'd be devastated.

    Anyway, it was a great day today. I hope I lose tomorrow, but I kinda doubt it if I gained yesterday. Oh, well. I feel fantastic. Off to bed. I have to get up ridiculously early in the morning. I hope tomorrow goes well.
  12. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    i'm up to 230.8.

    My sleep cycle last night...


    DH and I think the the parts where I plateau a bit are possibly where he has woken up and moved around. I'll get a clearer reading tonight without him. Interesting stuff.

    Here's an example of DH's sleep cycle...these are not recent, by the way.




    DH was up super early this morning and made me a monster shake and coffee. :)
  13. That dinner looks delicious!! :) Makes me want to have some!

    Sleep apnea is a desorder where someone abnormaly stop breathing while sleeping, and it occurs mostly when sleeping on the back...it leads to very poor sleep and is associated to many heart diseases...

    Don't worry about the weight going up and down a little...Woman on LR generally lose very little, we have to be patient... And the goal here is to get optimal...As a secondary effect, you will feel much better and lose weight :)

    Have a good day, I'll keep reading you, very interesting!

  14. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Thank you! I'm hanging in there with the weight. I know I have some serious adrenal issues, so the weight gain was expected. Still not nice to see, but I'm trying to get out of my head. :)
  15. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    I want...

    To take a bath without displacing all of the water.

    Ride horses again without worrying about breaking the poor horse's back.

    Go ocean kayaking again.

    Learn to swim really well and do some laps.

    Be really fast when sprinting.

    Have my nice clothes look like they should look instead of frumpy, like they look now.

    Get SCUBA certified for our family vacations to the Keys.

    Get healthy so that having a child with my husband is an option.
  16. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    My husband just told me that he's running like a furnace since starting this. :) To quote his most recent statement..."I'm sweating like a pig." Yesterday he had to buy moisture control insoles for his boots. He never has before. 5 mg of melatonin worked ok last night, so I told him to keep it up for the rest of the week to see if there's a noticeable difference.

    I'm so happy to see an effect in him already. :D
  17. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    This was in response to someone who has some of the same scale issues I have. I think it's urgently important for us to remember (especially me).

    From the monster thread...

  18. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Was getting really hungry a couple of hours before dinner tonight. I know it's because I didn't eat a real breakfast and just had a monster shake. Tomorrow morning I'll have eggs and a lamb chop or sausage. It'll help quite a bit in keeping me satiated, I'm sure. Also, I'm a little afraid that my Jay Robb whey shake is affecting my insulin...I don't know if it is or not, but I may go pick up a bag of the egg white protein powder instead. Just in case.

    Dinner was a rare, pan-seared lamb chop (that was to die for), a specialty beef frank (that was also to die for), and a couple of squares of Lindt 70% dark chocolate (that made me really happy). I wish I were in the mood for savory food in the morning...I'd totally eat like that EVERY morning. But, I simply cannot without throwing it all back up. Not fun. Can't wait until the BAB gets easier for me.

    I didn't think to take a picture before, so here's the aftermath.


    Poor little lambie didn't have a chance. I am straight carnivore. Rawr.
  19. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    Down 1.2 pounds. Back into the 220's. Yesterday, one of my 8 year olds looked at me and said, "Mom, you look better." LOL He couldn't tell me exactly what it was, but DH says I look healthier and more relaxed. Hey, I'll take it!

    So, I took some melatonin and GABA last night to see if it would increase restfulness. I don't FEEL like it helped... It was also super hard to wake up this morning after 11, almost 12 hours of sleep, so once that wears off with coffee and breakfast, I wonder how I'll feel. I need to learn more about sleep cycles to see what's normal and "healthy" to compare.


    My husband just sent me his...looks like the melatonin, diet, and early bedtime are working for him! Finally!

  20. Slone07

    Slone07 New Member

    BAB was astounding today. Not sure if that's good or bad. LOL I was sitting there, eyeing my four scrambled eggs with heavy cream and 2 oz of breakfast sausage mixed in thinking, "You've got to be kidding me," while continuing that thought with the protein shake I'd have to get down after I was done. I'm still trying to finish the shake, but I don't feel like retching anymore.

    I have the boys mostly doing this, too. Their BAB is based upon their weight and they get at least two eggs in the morning. It's apparently getting better for them, too, as they finished their breakfast without a word to quit early. They seem to be doing better emotionally, and that makes me so happy. They're VERY competitive with each other and there seem to have been far more concessions between the two of them since we started this. My younger 8 year old is my frustrated, tantrum thrower. Just a few weeks ago, he threw a tantrum an hour all day long. No joke. And that was a normal day (for four years this has been happening...ever since his father and I got married. The little guy has Attachment Disorder that we're working through). Yesterday, he did his chores, asked for more, was an angel attitude-wise, and even snuggled with his brother on the couch when I turned on a movie for them after dinner. If you know what attachment disorder is, you know what I've gone through in the past four years. It's no wonder my cortisol is totally effed. With all that I've been reading, Dr. Kruse has been the only one who has left me with some hope. Anyway, my older eight year old (my bio child), is very easy going, but has an obsession with sugar. We never were a cakes and cookies family and always health conscious, but he just loves the crap. Both boys are lean and muscular, FWIW.

    On another note, I think my brain function is better today than it has been lately. My focus is strong. Good stuff. And boy, am I thankful to be done with food right now. LOL

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