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SkywayKate's Journey to Optimal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by skywaykate, May 3, 2012.

  1. skywaykate

    skywaykate Gold

    Chocolate, I love you. These are all awesome! I did a towel soaked in epsoms around my neck and touched it to my face during 2/3rds of my CT. I'm new to the salts, so not sure I used enough or whatever. But for sure at least the humor in what you wrote and the CTing made me feel tons better.

    I will write more tomorrow, I need to ride this wave to bed!

    sent from my phone while wrangling at least 1 toddler...expect typos, smile when you see them...the toddlers or the typos
  2. skywaykate

    skywaykate Gold

    I don't know if others have this experience w CTing, but last night I was in an amazingly good mood after my 55 min session, and today I was again, this time after a 40 min session, and not just because one of my 2.5 yo daughters was in with me almost the entire time and having a blast while doing it, even repeatedly dunking her face and head in eventuality.

    The good mood is enough to motivate me to do it as often as I can. Went to visit SIL in hospital tonight, she's out of ICU now at least. Going to try to sleep but if I can't, you know I'll be hitting the tub!!!

    sent from my phone while wrangling at least 1 toddler...expect typos, smile when you see them...the toddlers or the typos
  3. skywaykate

    skywaykate Gold

    Did another 35-40 min tub CT w spout cold only (no ice yet, so it's not as cold as I hope, lol) right after my BAB of 3+ eggs and 4 sausages, a 6 oz container of honey greek yogurt (20 g carbs, mostly sugar) and .5 oz mint chocolate (G&B "dark" but I'm sure it's probably only like 70%)...along with 12 oz coffee, 2T maple syrup, 1 T CO, and 6 oz CM. Same daughter found out that I was in the tub and joined me for 5-10 min. I had the happy endorphins well kicked in by that time plus her general happiness meant she was dancing in the tub, lots of hugging, general fun.

    Have the runs, which is sucky. One daughter has had them since Monday but thankfully is otherwise ok. Parents are coming for another visit today...was hoping to go from the last visit at the beginning of the month until we go there in early-mid-June but my mom has only gone more than a month once since my daughters were born between visits. So, time to panic and go clean-clean-clean!!!

    Quick notes for later:

    -Thurs evening had ground turkey tacos on tostada shells, had 2 of them.

    -Had chipotle for lunch yesterday, but limited myself to 8 chips total, 2 at lunch and 6 while prepping lunch. Didn't have anything outside of meals yesterday, even had my coffee at lunch, because I want to tighten that up, but had 1.5 oz of the mint chocolate bar at about 9:15 on my way to see my SIL in the hospital. It was still 3 hours before I went to sleep.

    -Lost 1.25"...some measurements I wasn't confident of being in the same place so I just left them as the same--a small move one way or the other would be an increase or a (significant) decrease. Lost 1" off my clothing waist and .25" off my upper waist.
  4. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    Hi skywaykate...I love your screen name! It sounds so Native American/spiritual to me. Could be the name of a great heroine for a children's picture book!

    I also feel a sense of well being after I CT. Must have been fun to CT with one of your little ones in the tub with you.

    I just started reading your journal so I will have to go back and start from the beginning so I have a context. :)

    Edit: just finished reading from your first post! You've come a long way baby!

    How's your SIL?
  5. skywaykate

    skywaykate Gold

    My SIL is home now, she went home yesterday, so that's really good. Thank you for asking! Thank you also for pointing out my progress because one of the reasons I sat down to type right now was because I was feeling frustrated and needed to think through some things and get some things out from ruminating in my head, where they torture me.

    And I love your idea of my name, sounds much more grand than I was thinking...in the Twin Cities, in both downtowns, there are skyways, which is what they call the 2nd floor connectors between buildings, they keep you "indoors" and are climate controlled. I think Toronto has some also? Instead of tunnels, they went up. I've lived and/or worked on them for most of my time living in the Twin Cities. But I love the Native American/spiritual idea too.

    I still have the runs, and so does my one daughter, she's had it a week now, and just now developed a bit of a fever. So that doesn't help either of us feel better. But at least it hasn't bothered her as much as it has me. I don't want to use imodium because I think my body wants to get it out, right?

    I am feeling frustrated because I'm feeling like I'm stalling. I'm still beholden to the Sugar Fairy, and give in to her still too often. Yesterday was a (small) caramel shake, which I didn't quite finish, but I kept feeling a compulsion to drink it on our way home from the pool via Wendy's. This morning, it was a few sips of hub's Mt. Dew. I'm also frustrated because I'm not loosing weight quickly. I know that's not the point of this and I have to look at how much I'm gaining in energy and benefits I can't see (like reducing inflamation), as well as resetting my Leptin, which I know was off, and how long it took me to get to this weight, so it's going to take a long time to get rid of this weight. I guess I got my hopes up when I lost 12# in the first two weeks.

    How do I afford supplements to help me when we're barely going to be able to afford groceries til the next paycheck in two weeks? I'm working on getting some of my retirement account funds to help with this, but it'll take a while.

    I guess I want to cry. I think I would feel better if I did. Not sure how that fits into todays plans, lol.
  6. I hope you'll feel better soon, and your daughter too!

    Be kind to yourself, it's ok if your not perfect all the time. Those cravings will go away. At first, when sugar was calling my name, I would grab a fruit (now, I know better, I grab some fat!). I also know that if I only have a tiny bit of sugar, I'll want more, so I just don't touch it. Give yourself some time and it will become easier. And don't look at how much you weight!! It took you many years to get there, don't put more pressure on yourself. It will take time, but it will come off. You need to fix yourself inside before your can see any significant change on your body. You need to fix every single cell of yours, so you can function like your supposed to, feel good again and then burn the extra fat. Right now, every time you eat sugar, even if it's only a little here and there, it's stored into fat because your body doesnt know better.

    If you need to, up the protein in your BAB. It helped me much too. I was having 85g of protein. After a few weeks, I went down to 75 and I'm still there. I don't eat much at lunch, and have a bigger dinner. But the key point is the BAB. And I'm on a budget too: canned sardines, makerel and salmon are pretty cheap. I know, it's canned, but for now I think it's better than regular meat....And eggs too, if you're not on the AI protocol.

    Hang in there, and have a good cry, you'll feel bettter after ;) Sending you a hug!

  7. Oh yeah, and the program you want on your computer to block blue light is f.lux

    You can also try this one, I like it better, it blocks more light (you can adjust it): http://www.mylittlehost.com/dimmer.aspx
  8. skywaykate

    skywaykate Gold

    Thank you, AbetterME!!!! I appreciate the encouragment and support SO much. That's what makes this forum so awesome, the people on it are awesome!

    I'm going to go to bed early, hopefully, which should help. And rereading what you wrote. Thank you!!!
  9. skywaykate

    skywaykate Gold

    Every person, even Paleo plus people, need to keep rice around the house...when water inevitably gets spilled on your electronics, you can cover it in rice to save it, after removing the battery ASAP. Daughter was fighting for a full water glass I said no to and knocked a bunch on my phone. Guess it's a good excuse to make sure I get to sleep early...just have to figure out an alarm since it's usually my phone!
  10. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    Ditto what Abetterme said!

    Hope you're feeling better.

    For me eating anything with sugar or carbs, but especially sweets makes me crave more. It takes a few days to get it out of my system to the point where it's not calling me. I drink seltzer that I put flavored stevia in when I want something sweet. Eng toffee flavored stevia is my favorite. I buy it at Whole Foods and it's liquid. I also sip iced green tea all day long with a little stevia to sweeten it.

    Try carrying coconut manna with you and having a spoonful if you're hungry or craving something sweet.

    Don't sweat the supplements at this point! You're eating well...on a tight budget one needs to prioritize...

    I asked Dr Kruse why some of us feel so good after CTing and he said it reduces inflammation and helps with depression (see The Ask Jack thread a couple of days ago).
  11. My pleasure kate, I hope you feel better today! One meal at the time, you can do it :)
  12. skywaykate

    skywaykate Gold

    First month results: 15# lost and 14.25" gone (including 1.5" off my hips and over 6"!! from my waist). I measured my calf, thigh, hips, clothing waist, upper waist, band (just under bust), and arm. Last week I added my neck and I lost an additional .25" on that. But more than all of this, although I'm super happy about this, is the increased energy. I'm no longer a zombie the vast majority of the time. I'm a generally functioning human being! I hadn't gotten any help from doctors, real, true help that had made an actual difference in my life like this. And I've been far from perfect...but I'm perfection in training, lol. :)

    Thank you, Dr. Kruse for saving my life and my family. It has been a very long time since I've been this excited about the future.Thank you also to my friends on this forum, your help has been invaluable!

    Need to go get ready for my day but will write more soon. :)
  13. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    That is so great!!!! Good for you! I like your line "I've been far from perfect...but I'm perfection in training"! Well said!
  14. ealachan

    ealachan New Member

    YAY! :)

    I know you were talking about having a lot of sugar craving issues, still - are you getting enough fat, especially with your BAB? I resisted the bullet-proof coffee thing for quite a while because it just sounded weird to me, but once I started added 2 tablespoons of coconut oil and a tablespoon or so of butter to my coffee in the mornings, my sugar cravings died right off. Nowadays, if I'm going to eat something higher-carb, I try to eat a large amount of fat with it, as that keeps my blood sugar from going right through the roof.

    I'm so glad you're feeling better!
  15. skywaykate

    skywaykate Gold

    Already the 3rd of June and the last I posted was 4 days ago. I'm struggling to find myself and getting overwhelmed with life. I don't want this to just be a journal of the highs and lows, but everyday life, but I was avoiding writing about it the last few days and now it's weighing on me. I ate kinda cruddy, mostly some potato chips, dairy (cheese for munching, and dip for the chips) and a bowl of gluten-free brownies (a few days ago at this point), munching on too many strawberries while waiting for dinner two nights in a row...not horrible, but too much margin creeping into life. Eating 4-5 times a day because of weird schedules and fear of lacking. Even though I'm not going to starve, I'm totally worried because we're broke until Friday and I can't just go out and buy more breakfast sausage or coconut manna. So even though it's probably going only be a single day, at the most two, that I don't have everything that I need, I'm freaking out. It's a bad symptom of the underlying anxiety I feel, and makes it hard to be rational about food, about life.

    I am pretty sure that marginal eating is leading me to have less energy, a backslide toward where I was a month ago, before starting the LR. That scares me. It's been hard for hubs to deal because I haven't kept up on cleaning around the house, and he's obsessively focusing (it seems to me) on his freelance writing and that it's annoying to me, especially when I wish he was looking for a different job so that we could move to Milwaukee, or at least afford all of our bills. We need to move one way or another to get to that point. I'm sharing too much personal stuff but this really is my journal right now--because I see the pastured meats I'm buying as one place he's going to say, see, we need to cut down that expense. But honestly, I see it as a health expense, not a food expense. This is going to get me to the point that I can be a fully functioning member of society, of my family. I was on my way but got a bit derailed. Semi-derailed, not all the way, mostly not actually. But no CTing, either. Need to do that tonight. And I was thinking about, if either or both hubs and I are freelancing and we don't have insurance through a company and need it on our own, I will be too expensive to insure at my current weight--or anything near it--and health. Scary.

    I haven't felt like I'm being drained by all three of my family members at once until today. And letting them down. And letting myself down.

    I have to figure out how to get my BAB earlier, it's ending up on average, 1.5 hours after I wake up, often followed by coffee (with CO, a little sugar of some kind, and coconut milk, so it's not calorie free). Breakfast was 3 of my usual sausages, 2 hamburgers (about 6 oz total, precook weight I guesstimate), and 3 HB eggs, along w a smallish, relatively speaking, coffee. Today I had some coconut junk about 2 hours after finishing my coffee, with the hopes I could skip lunch. Ended up eating some salad, 2 HB eggs and .5 oz 85% chocolate about 2 hours after that. Dinner was a bunch of meatloaf (beef, carrots, onions, almond flour, an egg) and peas. Had 4-5 chocolate chips, 60%. I'm out of my bar chocolate and although the chips don't taste all that great (which is a HUGE triumph, I could inhale a bag in 1-2 days), the bit of dessert makes me feel not deprived, mentally.

    Keep trying to hit reset but keep falling into potholes. I am going to try again tonight.
  16. ealachan

    ealachan New Member

    It's not about how badly you fall down - it's about what you do with yourself when you get back up again. ::hugs:: Hang in there, girl.
  17. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    So true, Ealachan!

    If you can't afford the pastured meat and things like organic eggs right now it's still better eating Paleo than not. Grass fed beef is about 2X the price of regular. Do what you can.

    You've got a lot going on. My kids are grown...I really feel for you doing this with young twins!

    Keep taking little steps you'll get there!
  18. chocolate

    chocolate Silver

    Is your air conditoner individual or integrated as part of the building? You could mickey mouse/ senor rat a fan in the ducting to pull a little extra.... or you could add a few fans anyway.
  19. TerrierMom

    TerrierMom Gold

    Another idea is up your seafood.... Cod is great... Lots of good frozen stuff at the big box stores. Jack has said here somewhere that seafood is the base of his food pyramid and is even more optimal than any Grassfed land animal. So if you are eating seafood 3-5x per week you eat less Grassfed meat.

    Do what you can, where you can and make sure your BAB has enough protein. As soon as I did that it was only a few days before it was easy to go with only 2 meals a day....

    I understand the sugar and junk food cravings. I'll share what's helped me most (besides the BAB)... Is reading what sugar and grains DO TO YOUR body to keep it inflamed, you fat, and your liver u happy. For me, KNOWING the consequences of putti g junk in me has been very effective at not letting any in. To accomplish that, I read this blog voraciously... And read and re-read the reasoning on why grains dairy and legumes (not to mention sugar) are NOT MY FRIENDS!! The more I read and internalize it, the easier it becomes to just say no.

    The other tip I have is I 'obsess' over what delicious things I 'can' eat and try to fix a few new things each week and if we love it, it goes into our 'rotation'. Lately I tried crispy roasted brussels spouts with lemons ... This way you never feel deprived as you are always making new and exciting g things to eat!

    Hope some of this is helpful and good luck to you in your journey...!! Start shopping for cheap seafood on sale and stock up that freezer!!
  20. skywaykate

    skywaykate Gold

    We can technically control the temperature, to a point. But the vents are up above 8' (exposed pipes, 14 foot ceilings in much of our place, so we can't really reach the vents. I did buy a fan when the AC hadn't been turned on, but I need to think to use it, at least at night if it's too hot. We do have a ceiling fan in our bedroom which I love. The rest of the apartment is one big open room, and with toddlers running around mean I'm limited in what I can do.

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