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Seriously...

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by indigogirl, May 24, 2012.

  1. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    A good day...tired, but didn't nap.



    BAB: leftover meatloaf, 2 BIG pieces and some pickled okra

    Lunch: at about 4:00... not exactly lunch LOL! Wasn't really very hungry, but knew I couldn't last until dinner (at about 7:15)'so I had an iced coffee with 1/2 & 1/2 and 1 1/2 pieces of my choc coconut manna candy.

    Dinner: cooked broccoli slaw with shiitake shrooms and baked cod with macadamia nut oil and herbs



    Will CT after dinner...haven't in about a week. I really need it. I pulled a muscle in my lower back and I've been spot icing it this afternoon.
     
  2. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    Very difficult to wake up this morning...in a very deep sleep right before waking up.

    BAB: huge piece of meatloaf, 8 pork bkfst sausage links, kimchi



    It's 2:35PM and I am exhausted and headachy. It's grey and dreary out and just started to rain. Perfect nap weather! Going to take a nap, then have a snack, then CT.



    Weird CT last night. 60 F bath, BTDT, my toes were freezing and I had to take them out after about 15 min and cover my feet with a towel. Only lasted 25 minutes...did not want to even push through for 30 min, well I wanted to but was cold. My legs and butt felt numb when I was toweling off. I put on long PJ's, which I never do this time of year. CT'd a few hours before bed and I was just below shivering. Never sleep with more than a sheet and needed a blanket till about 6:00 AM when I kicked it off. And parts of my body were pink after CT and they usually aren't. I did take a warmish shower before CT to

    soap off the bug spray that was on my skin...Maybe that played a role in being so much colder than usual.



    Lunch/snack: about 5:00, homemade choc coconut candy and iced tea



    Felt better after my nap, but didn't want to wake up



    Dinner: absolutely yummy! http://nomnompaleo.com/post/3195098303/asian-cauliflower-fried-rice and

    http://nomnompaleo.com/post/10161654190/sauteed-shrimp-with-onions-and-cherry-tomatoes



    I am seriously stuffed. Actually noticed when I felt full and thought, "You might want to stop now.". Of course I didn't, but I only had 1 more spoonful of each dish. Next time!



    Digest my food a little and then CT since I didn't after my nap.



    I don't know how people with kids at home do all this. Or people who work full time with kids at home do all this.
     
  3. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    Didn't end up CTing last night. By the time I finished the dishes it was too late.



    Purposefully didn't have bkfst this AM because I am meeting a friend for lunch at 11:30. When I eat my BAB I'm not hungry till 4 or 5.

    Hope I'm not setting myself up for failure by not eating bkfst...will see.
     
  4. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    Oh dear...will cross my fingers for you but it would certainly bring failure to my plate.
     
  5. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    So my n=1 about not eating bkfst and having an early lunch is to eat bkfst!

    Skipped bkfst and had lunch with a friend at a Greek restaurant at 11:30. I had a Greek salad with a side of gyro meat. Just not enough protein.

    At 3:00 was hungry and ate last night's dinner leftovers.

    Next time will eat my BAB and if I'm meeting someone for an early lunch I will sip iced tea while they eat.
     
  6. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    I have not posted for a few days and I have not been optimal.

    My meals are almost always optimal, it's what I cheat with...

    Today I bought some very clean whey isolate protein, some PGX- a complex of water soluble polysaccharides,which are plant fibers (this supports healthy blood sugar levels, reduces appetite and supports weight management),Greek Goddess full fat yogurt and some local strawberries and black berries.

    This will be blasphemous, but I just can't eat this much meat, chicken or fish for bkfst in the summer in the AM. It is making me nauseous.

    I am craving fruit, so I am going for low glycemic index fruit like berries. I will have about a cup a day for bkfst.

    I plan on making smoothies for bkfst with about 50 g of whey protein, coconut water, ice, fruit, stevia, a T of coconut oil and ground flax seeds or chia seeds. Or adding the whey protein to yogurt with the fruit, oil and seeds. The smoothies were my go to bkfst before Paleo.



    Went to the gym today. Did the Nu Step for 25 min. And then knee strengthening exercises.
     
  7. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    The weekend was not good in terms of food. My meals are always Paleo...it's the sugar I get in to between meals *sigh*.



    BAB: 38g whey protein powder, frozen peaches, 2 strawberries, 1T coconut oil, 2 T ground flax seeds, touch of stevia, coconut water.



    I realize too little protein and I forgot to put in the PGX (PolyGlycopleX)...



    We are planning to put Callie, one of our 2 labs, down this afternoon. She is 14 and not doing well. I wish we didn't have to make this decision because it is not clear cut. I am perfectly prepared to get to the vet and change my mind and bring her back home. Too sad.
     
  8. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    Oh. *HUGS*. I can only imagine how you feel. Is Callie suffering?
     
  9. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    Hugs from me, too :(
     
  10. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    Thanks Paula and Souldanzer.



    It's hard to know how much pain she is in. Labs are stoic, have a high threshold for pain and are people pleasers. Additionally, she is just a really sweet dog and her personality is such that she wants to please us, unlike my 13 yr old male lab who could care less about pleasing anyone but himself! She had a stroke a few months ago and her head is cocked to one side. She has lost some control of her back legs...struggles to stand...sometimes her legs work better than other times..she is loosing control of her bladder. Sometimes she will go down the 8 steps to my backyard, sometimes she won't and does her business on my back porch. Our vet says that since she won't go down the back steps she is in more pain than we know. When not sleeping, she is often agitated and paces around our kitchen island.



    I think I am eating today to avoid the sadness I feel about her.



    I also realize that I have my own binge/purge cycle. I binge, gain weight, can't take it anymore and then go on some extreme diet and successfully get the weight off (including HCG) and start all over again.
     
  11. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    If you need to talk to dog people about this... check out dogster.com. There is a great post somewhere on how to assess a dog's quality of life. I would err on the side of overmedicating the pain. I know what you mean with dogs don't always tell you about things... let her know it's okay to go on the back porch. If you need to, put down newspaper and praise her if she goes in that spot. You can fit her with diapers (cut a hole for the tail) if needed though she will hate that, most likely. And know that she must have had a wonderful life so far b/c lots of dogs don't ever reach that age.



    I hope you have someone with a comfy shoulder for some tears.... {{{hugs}}}



    HCG sounds disordered to me. Just FYI. I'd stay away from it.
     
  12. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    Thanks, Souldanzer. I did go on a site last week where people talked about how to know when to euthanize an animal. Our vet is great and very easy to talk to. I'd been talking to Callie for awhile now about how it was OK to let go, what a joy she has been, etc. We never reprimanded her for going to the bathroom in the house...she couldn't control it.

    My husband went with me...it was very peaceful we touched her and talked to her the whole time.



    Want to hear an interesting bit of synchronicity? Our dog breeder showed up at the vet as we were leaving. We bought both our dogs from her. We've stayed in touch over the years. I had spoken to her a few months ago about the fact that Callie was failing and how would we know when to put her down. Then she shows up at the Vet right after we euthanize Callie. Weird!
     
  13. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    I have a lot of respect for people who won't keep their pets in pain for their own emotional attachment. Take care of yourself the next few days... weeks...
     
  14. Lyndra

    Lyndra Gold

    Letting a long-time family pet go is such a hard thing. I just had to say goodbye to one of my own recently. I am very sorry to hear you going through this. So many good memories mixed in with utter sadness. May the happy thoughts soon come to overpower the sadness.
     
  15. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    Thanks, Lyndra.

    And hugs to you for having to say goodbye to one of your pets recently, too.
     
  16. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    "no......if you eat dirty......you're dirty. You cant out supplement of out sleep bad decisions"

    Jack's response to my asking on the CT thread if one could derive any benefits from CT if not eating Paleo.



    I've had a couple of days of food free fall. I feel sick.



    What drives me to do this? It is not a complete lack of will power or commitment. What am I missing?



    I got bored eating Paleo and bought whey protein and PGx for bkfst. Thank God WF will take anything back, and I can at least get my $ reunded.



    I am so sick of spending so much $ over the last 20 years on supplements, diets, Dr's trying to fix this. Countless hours of research. I do enjoy the research, but it has not changed my behavior.
     
  17. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Until you fix how you think......youre doomed for average......you need to deal with that. Thinking is the foundational cornerstone.
     
  18. indigogirl

    indigogirl Silver

    So how do I fix how I think?
     
  19. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

  20. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Begin by opening your eyes to your mind. Look up at the incredible sights, arrays of sounds, and the passing thoughts from your mind awakening as you wait for the sun. We have an incredible array of information offered to us as soon as we rise that we take for granted. We can only experience 25,000 sunrises in a human life. I decided five years ago I could no longer afford to waste my mornings, not seeing this awakening of life and to listening to the thoughts in my own head. We constantly let pure enjoyment pass us by when we do not take advantage of this time. I think about this every time I look at the morning sky. The clouds and sky changes minute to minute and that experience are never returned to us. The clouds show me how easy change can really be if we embrace it, as the sky embraces the free movement of the clouds every morning. If we generalize that principle to the faces of people we see in life or on social media that we are open to everyday, we become aware of the stories behind their faces. Each face, like a cloud, carries a story that you could never really fathom. Sometimes you will see their relatives and their ancestors stories unfold for your mind if you are observing them well. Try to let all of these experiences coalesce in your mind, to meet you today, right now…this one day in time; this moment in your life is for you to see and effect you to action right now. This time you were previously unaware of, are like rivers colliding downstream and emptying into the vastness of the ocean to mix with all the other water on earth; just as a thought does when it enters your brain when you allow it to.



    Today, you should consider opening your heart and mind to the number of gifts around you. Become aware of how they might change and improve you. Teach yourself to let those things flow through you every new day you are alive. Let these thoughts come through your eyes and your mind to touch your present self. Let the gratefulness they bring overflow in you, revealing your daily blessings all around you. This is how a thought can change your DNA and how happiness revealed itself to me five years ago.
     

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