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Sean's Optimal Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Sean Waters, Jan 24, 2018.

  1. Good book for retraining attention and focus - The Attention Revolution by B. Alan Wallace (Physicist, ex Buddhist monk & highly experienced meditation teacher)


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    Last edited: Jul 14, 2021
    Sean Waters likes this.
  2. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

  3. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

  4. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    Cast your fear in the fire; ‘Cause fear, he is a liar.

    Although fear is a built-in mechanism to protect us from danger, it can sometimes go haywire. Stress can weaken our perception of what dangers are out there. When it’s stress and media induced call out fear for what it truly is: a liar.

    Take back your power! Bruce’s favorite song lately.... I think I have heard it everyday the last few months. Lol!
    Gimme The Power...

    “All together as brothers,
    because we are more, we pull more together.
    Why are we following a bunch of assholes?
    Who lead us where it suits them
    and it is our sweat what support them
    which it keeps them eating hotcakes
    that bread is the bread of our people.

    The people united will never be defeated!”
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2021
    John Schumacher, Sean Waters and EWO like this.
  5. Chantelle

    Chantelle New Member

    one of his best. In my top ten of all time ;)
    Sean Waters likes this.
  6. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

  7. Gina R

    Gina R New Member

    Hey Sean, we have connected before:) Did you find a "non-Castillian" spanish tutor? Because I tutor Spanish:)

    Sean Waters likes this.
  8. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member


    Vegetables and Fruits are completely fake and nothing like what they were when they were Wild.

    I make the same case for Grass Fed cows and Organic Pork and Lamb. They are loaded with Deuterium because they are outside of nature's arena. It's The Water content of these animals that is the problem, the Deuterium ratios of their tissues are overblown.....

    When God brought the floods to Egypt in the days of Moses, it was to show them that cultivation and agriculture was a sin.

    The only safe food is that of the Wild species of the Ocean.
    Matt Fowler likes this.
  9. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

  10. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member


    Just look at the sheer amount of effort we have had to put in to make these foods possible.... No Banana, Peach, potato or any fruit/ veg of the modern day is anything resembling what is available in the wild.

    It seems true in my own Bio-hacks, that if I eat these foods... even small amounts of Ginger and Turmeric seems to cause me some inflammation over the course of a week of consumption. Such species known to be "beneficial" to us, or therapeutic based on Ancestral Eastern medicine (when they would have looked, smelled and tasted and been prepared very differently to know).

    I think REDOX is the what allows us to make light work of this Deuterium, if you want to Ice Bath and spend 5 years in the Tropical Sun to be able to eat these things then go ahead, but in the clinical case - I think it's critical that these are limited. Especially Fructans which are high in Deuterium,.... the old EPCOTx webinar's Onion, garlic recommendations don't apply in this modern 5G world. It's too much Deuterium for a population with too low Redox.

    But I also believe that if these foods were REAL, as they were originally, in their much smaller versions of themselves, without the water weight and dilution and breeding of centuries and pesticides/ GMOs... do I think then that the benefit of Ginger would be great? that Turmeric could alleviate all inflammation?

    I do. But not in the modern world, not as they are currently served to us. It's another half-truth.
  11. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    Having a day today where I wonder at the path I am choosing. The choices I am making. The discipline and restrictions I put on myself and my life, to avoid Inflammation and Disease.

    Where I wonder if it's really worth the time I spend on it. Yeah, god forbid Big Brother catch me thinking this way (in reference to my own Ego).

    Of course - without Health, what have you got?.... but without Emotion, Love and Inspiration - what have you got?

    There are days when I feel much better than today, and on those days, I care less for these Emotions, for this thing called Love, and that of Inspiration.

    However, the more decisions i make to protect myself against the plights of the environment, especially social isolation or being away from "them", the tech-using millenials, the more I feel lost and out of place. The more I'm not sure what I am doing. This confusion builds - and it will all come pouring out the minute you are feeling "off".

    What am I doing here?... who do I hope to achieve?... can I ask those questions right now?... or should I merely be focused on building my life raft?... is this all just rumination due to over-priviledge?

    What do I love? what do I want to do? who do I want to do all of it with?.... where is everyone that I love? who are they? why do I love them? why do they love me??

    A great quote I read today from the 4th book in the Dune Series I'm reading (and addicted to), God Emperor of Dune, really struck a chord with my current state of mind. This is from the God Emperor himself, Leto, who has transformed into a Giant Half-Worm, half-human, that has sacrificed his own body to become a Worm that lives 3500 years in order to Save Humanity from itself and lead as a Tyrant that is hated, but is leading Humanity to a "greater good" although they don't know it. His time in power is called "Leto's Peace", but the Humans he rules hate him for it - everything has become Decadent and therefore: Boring.

    Leto cannot indulge in the activities of a normal Man anymore. He knew this choice before he combined with the Sandworm, but he did it for humanity. After 3500 years he has come across a threat to him that he has never faced before.

    He battles with the Human being created to destroy him - a creation of an evil race of Technocrats - no, not a warrior or some super villain, but actually a beautiful and supremely honest, and extremely endearing girl named Hwi Noree.

    Leto cannot be destroyed by any physical means due to his Giant Worm body, and he is too smart for any plot or ploy, seeing all ends. But, his weakness being Love, as he remains half human - he realises she has been perfectly designed for him, and his human spirit is desperately clutching for what he cannot have - a physical relationship with this Hwi. He falls completely in love with Hwi almost instantly, with the evil race knowing this will destroy him and send him mad, and she too falls for him - knowing, but not caring, that she has been designed to do this to him. Also knowing, that they can never mate or engage in intimacy, they decide to get married to each other. Which, everyone around Leto thinks is a total disaster.

    His majordomo, his 1st Minister and right hand man, Moneo, is furious and is desperately trying to convince his Emperor, his God, to not marry her as the entire Empire will laugh and mock them - at the fact that he is a Worm and she is a Human. Here is the extract:

    Moneo: "If I am to help you, you must tell me, why are you doing this?"

    God Emperor: "Emotions. They have come over me just when I thought them gone forever. How sweet these last few sips of humanity are."

    Moneo: "With Hwi? But surely you cannot..."

    God Emperor: "Memories of emotions are not enough Moneo"

    Moneo: "Are you telling me that you are indulging yourelf in a...."

    God Emperor: "Indulgence? Certainly not! But the Tripod upon which Eternity swings is composed of flesh and thought and emotion. I felt that I had been reduced to flesh and thought".

    Moneo: "She has worked some kind of witchery!"

    God Emperor: "Of course she has. And how grateful I am for it. If we deny the need for thought Moneo, as some do, we lose the powers of reflection; we cannot define what our senses report. If we deny the flesh, we unwheel the vehicle that bears us. But if we deny emotion, we lose touch with all our internal universe. It was emotions that I missed the most"
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2021
    Richard Watson, 5G Canary and ND Hauf like this.
  12. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    I had a Tarot card reading just a few days ago.

    I got the Sun as my 1st card, a card of Vitality and joy... followed by the High Priestess, a card that suggested I possess Psychic tendencies.

    I got more cards through. One of them spoke of the need for forgiveness of my Father. It confused me a little at first. Later, another card appeared that showed I was worried about my Mother being bondaged with Material world, and not connecting to the spiritual wold, or God.

    Another card revealed grief, or the passing of someone from my life. Usually associated with Death, but it's position reflected that this had been done with, this was now in the past.


    Depiction: An infant rides a white horse under the anthropomorphized sun, with sunflowers in the background.

    Meaning: The card portends good fortune, happiness, joy and harmony. It represents the universe coming together and agreeing with your path and aiding forward movement into something greater.

    Upright card (keywords): Enlightment, Joy, Marriage, Material happiness, Success, Vitality

    Reversed card (keywords): False impressions, Lack of clarity, Low Vitality, Sadness

    Element: Fire

    Ruling planet: Sun


    Depiction: The High Priestess is identified with the Shekhinah, the female indwelling presence of the divine. She wears plain blue robes and sits with her hands in her lap. She has a lunar crescent at her feet, & wears "a horned diadem on her head, with a globe in the middle".

    Meaning: High Priestess is a card of mystery, stillness and passivity. This card suggests that it is time to retreat and reflect upon the situation and trust your inner instincts to guide you through it. Things around you are not what they appear to be right now.

    Upright card (keywords): Hidden talents, Intuition, Mystery, Spiritual insight, Things yet to be revealed

    Reversed card (keywords): Information withheld, Lack of personal harmony, Secrets

    Element: Water

    Ruling planet: Moon


    My new neigbours who did this reading for me, the girl has the Sun Tarot card tatoo'd on her leg. In addition, the Sun card is XIX, or "19", which is 10. Anyone who has read my journal fully knows the affinity I have with that number. The High Priestess is II which is 2, but it is also closely depicted to 11 in it's written form.... 1 + 1, together. Those reading also know my affinity to that number. My house here, is #9. The other number that is closely associated with my journey.

    The house in which I did the reading, my other neighbours, where we were all gathered - have 3 large white fabric prints of the Cards of the Sun and the Moon on their walls.

    Some serious, heavy emphasis on this was being projected to me from the Universe itself.

    I have spent a couple of days after the Tarot reading, dealing with some frustrating news that my ex-girlfriend has now taken the Vaccine. Out of weakness and submission to the needs of her life, that her tyrannical government has placed on her, she had to take it. To see her family in Sri Lanka, to make her work situation easier with travelling, with Airbnbs in Canada... she's taken it.

    It knocked me sick with sadness. I tried not to let on too her how much it bothered me, but it did. It really, really fucking bothered me.

    But, I wanted to know Why?... Why was I so bothered?... I haven't even seen her in 2 years nearly and we barely communicate anymore anyway. Still, the old feelings persist with her. But what are those feelings? Is it love? is it just old patterns trying to manifest itself?... Control, on my part?

    I spent all day thinking. Then I realised......... it goes back to my childhood. I still desire her, because she's so avoidant - just like my Mother was as a child, always at a distance. Why was she at a distance? Because she had to work, to please my step-dad, she couldn't be around me all the time. I needed that as a child.

    Why did she need to do that?........ Because my Dad fell ill. He was completely off-the-rails by the time I was 1 year old. Why? Because of Blue Light and non native EMF......... always so frustrated with him as a child, at why he never could fix himself or raise himself out of his pit of despair.

    As I grew older - I had to do it myself, when I also got struck with the same affliction of my environment. I also fell ill, and mightily depressed and eventually I figured it out. I fought my way out. Why couldn't my Dad do the same?

    I wondered at what patterns my childhood is mirroring in my adult life......... chasing a distant, unavailable and slightly uninterested girl who says " I love you " in a different country?........... that's because my Mom was distant, that is LOVE as I know it best... as my Mother taught me. It's fucked up, and it must change, but it is true.

    And my frustration, at her giving into the Vaccine, at not standing up for herself?.......... well, that is my Father being mirrored at me, because he also never did that. Is that why I also get so frustrated with people who don't "get it" with things that I understand? why I turn into such a Tyrant on the forum, or social media, when people do not try hard enough at healing themselves? or at fighting for themselves?... because those things all reflect my Father - and he let me down, which led to a very vulnerable position of survival - as I had to face my Stepdad as a child, which often means Death in the wild.... the fight or flight.......

    Is this also why me and Jack Kruse[/USER] have bonded so deeply - why I share the exact same birthday as his own Father? That we have the common affliction, a share of disgust at our own paternal figures?

    Is that why the Tarot card #3 was asking me to channel the High Priestess, the divine femine energy, to forgive him?

    If I cannot forgive my own Father - for something that happened to him without his own understanding or ability to help himself - then how can I expect to ever let myself Live? how can I expect to let go off all these frustrations with humanity?

    How am I ever going to live my daily life radiating LOVE and not HATE?

    Will i forever be spending my time holding everyone to the high standards because I see my Father, and my own survival, in everyone I encounter? Will I ever be able to let go of this unsuitable and unavailable girl in a different country, and let her live her life, so I can find a suitable partner who I share a deep loving relationship that is long-lasting and rewarding and full of Vitality like that Sun Card shows...?

    I have to Forgive. But, I actually have no idea how right now... back to my thoughts.
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2021
  13. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Maybe it is also like.. accepting. Accepting things that they are what they are. Things we cant change. I am learning this too. It is very painful and that is okay. But the more I learn to accept the less painful it is, in fact.

    Somehow this is at least a big lesson for me.

    I m now moving from here to Finland and it hurts like hell, honestly. I have build a beautiful life here. But something in my belly says, go. Go to Finland. Dont stay here. And i am listening to my belly. This country have gotten very ill. I feel so bad for all my friends here and they are so sad but I need to follow my inner calling.
    My boss tried to talk me out of leaving today, as i told her i will leave. She thinks all we be good in spring and everything is already so much better, she feels very positive! But i feel it is only getting sicker. If you are not vaccinated here, you are now closed out of many things, or you have to test to enter many places and pay the test yourself. This is not normal by any means to me. It is very very sick. I cant even go to a cafe? Not that I need to but it is crazy!

    I want to be near my family and in a country where is very little population. With way better options for me and people i love dearly. Sure my friends are dear but now i see how much my siblings matter to me too. And my parents. They see clearly this covid scam and do not take a vaccine either. They all just wait for me to come there. And my belly says yes.
    But sure it hurts like hell anyways. I learn to just accept it. It is not going to kill me if it hurts a bit :)
  14. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    Make sure to sleep with some of your parent's sheep there, (like you used to do). Send pictures.
    Good luck.
    Richard Watson, Inger and Sean Waters like this.
  15. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member


    Yeah I think forgiveness and acceptance can be synonymous here, but with a really awareness of the subtle differences in the words...

    if you have Forgiven, you are Accepting by default, yes.

    But, I just need to be careful with my own Forgiveness of my Father that if I use the word Acceptance - it doesn't just become "tolerance"... I think there's a lot more Love in the word forgiveness. I think acceptance is saying "it is what it is". I think Forgiveness is truly saying "I love you no matter what you have done".

    I think if God accepted our sins when we entered Heaven, it wouldn't be quite as loving as complete forgiveness.

    You are extremely lucky to have a loving family awaiting you that truly does not believe in the tyranny that is occurring across the world... as I said before Inger, it sounds dreamy - go for it! Don't wait any longer!!
    Richard Watson and Inger like this.
  16. Inger

    Inger Silver

    I see what you are saying Sean... I totally agree.

    When I understood something, lets say like.. why someone acted like they did, it was always way easier to forgive - or it was not even easy, it just happened naturally..... When you see someone did it because they were so broken.

    Sometimes words are not easy to me. Like one word can have several different meanings, huh
    Richard Watson and Sean Waters like this.
  17. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    sending you big hugs Inger. Who knows where your journey will take you and what wonderful things life has in store for you.

    I remember what you went through when you left Finland. That was gut wrenchingly hard.

    For some reason I have a picture of you sitting in a truck with your cat on your lap?

    Look at how far you have come ...you have built a beautiful life for yourself in Germany ..but now it is time to move forward and leave the nest and fly!

    You can always go back to Germany if you want to.

    We are a work in progress and we have to move forward.......not like all the obedient idiots.

    Jack has taught us to never settle!
    JanSz, Richard Watson and EWO like this.
  18. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    Life is full of magic and miracles. Remember the difference between Magic and Miracles is this... Magic is when you use your mind to tell the Universe what you want. Miracle is when you ask the Universe what it wants and how you can serve it. The Tarot cards... Magic. You posting on 10/11 and probably not even realizing it... Miracle. To forgive someone... Magic. To believe in someone... Miracle.

    Unchained Melody...

    My favorite part...
    “And time goes by so slowly
    And time can do so much”

    Elvis sings this 2 months before he passes.... I know most people see his death as a tragedy but what I felt was he finally unlocked his chains and his melody was set free.... miracle! When we forgive we are unlocking our own chains... they have to unlock their own chains. When we believe in them that’s Love... it gives them strength in their weakness to unlock those chains. The key is to unchain ourselves while we still have time as a part of our melody... past, present and future.

    Sean Waters likes this.
  19. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    Unchained melody.... how did you know... that was my Mom and Dad's song.

    I was thinking about Elvis last night, i dreamt about him.

    What the fuck.
  20. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

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