1. Registering for the Forum

    We require a human profile pic upon registration on this forum.

    After registration is submitted, you will receive a confirmation email, which should contain a link to confirm your intent to register for the forum. At this point, you will not yet be registered on the forum.

    Our Support staff will manually approve your account within 24 hours, and you will get a notification. This is to prevent the many spam account signups which we receive on a daily basis.

    If you have any problems completing this registration, please email support@jackkruse.com and we will assist you.

Sean's Optimal Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Sean Waters, Jan 24, 2018.

  1. Resveratrol can negatively impact glucose control and the production of male sex hormones; potentially cause DNA damage by acting as a pro-oxidant.
  2. Inger

    Inger Silver

    ok, cool, you seem to know how it works for you :) that is great! :) :)

    How I feel about it is, when I am "reduced and full of electrons", that is when I am more able to see and feel clearly, and so be aware of what is playing me, under my surface (traumas - and yes we all have them. Imagine, every time that we even see and witness suffering in others, we get traumatized to some degree) - because it is not always pleasant. When I soften up and let everything emerge what is deep in there... oh man it might be pretty scary :confused:. At least if it has not been done at all before, there might be a huge buildup that have happened.

    I absolutely think too - when the body has no energy and is sluggish from bad environment and food/light choices etc. your ability to see clearly goes down too.
    One gets de-sensitized.
    And it is impossible to work constructively on an issue if you cant see clearly.. it is just gonna be a mess... :rolleyes: where in the end I just go on hurting myself and others..yep I am speaking from my own experience :oops:

    I too have experienced that the effect is pretty immediate when it comes to the right choices, it works pretty fast! Even if the issue/s have not healed yet, it still almost immediately shifts something in the body/mind.... I would say.. a day or a couple days it all it takes for the shift to happen, after we do the changes.
    If I understand correctly, this is what you experience too :)
    Alex97232 and Sean Waters like this.
  3. @Inger absolutely that's what I experience....... so it begs the question,

    - Is Redox a mask for our true emotions, doping us like Opiates or Marijuana would from our experience?......

    - or is Trauma, sadness and those dark voids and deep intense horrible feelings we get just a manifestation of poor Redox?....

    I have experienced both, so much, in the last 4 months. Before coming to this good spot, where my Redox has climbed (in my perspective), when I was in a bad environment in a hostel in Mexico, the break-up with this Girl makes me really sad. But generally here, with a high Redox, on those days I think about it, the break-up feels like a pity, but I have such good energy and confidence that my brain just "zaps" the negativity and quenches it...... just like an electron would quench a free radical. BaBOOM.... it's gone. And no matter how hard I try, I can't even force myself to feel bad........

    Usually, my neurotransmitters or "redox" (which aren't always the same thing) being high, generally puts me into a state of it feeling like nothing and I have the ability to carry on and feel good. To enable me to quench those free radical thoughts.

    So how has my ENVIRONMENT altered my RELATIONSHIP?..... How has environment changed Love?

    Ih ave asked @RMW many times the last few months:

    What of the things I feel is true?..... Is any of it true?.... Did I even truly love her?.... How can you quantify that?.... By how sad I feel?... or by how much I wanted and desired her?..... What if that desire was to fill a void inside me?.... What if with High Redox you don't really need Love, or feel it so desperately?...... Is that why we broke up?.... Because my Redox dropped, or because it rose?.... Or is it because as I have tried to Explain and make sense of it: she couldn't face the idea of allowing herself to love me truly cause it scared the living daylights out of her to give someone that power?..... that she couldn't be honest with herself, or me....

    I don't really know the answers to any of these questions, but I've asked them - and stuck them on the Pin Board in my mind for now - and I'll see what happens in the future.

    I've got such clarity on all the dark times in my past, it all makes "sense". But again, I don't know if that is the human condition too... like Taleb says when defining a Black Swan (as @RMW told me this morning cause he's reading it);

    "What we call here a Black Swan (and capitalize it) is an event with the following three attributes. First, it is an outlier, as it lies outside the realm of regular expectations, because nothing in the past can convincingly point to its possibility. Second, it carries an extreme impact. Third, in spite of its outlier status, human nature makes us concoct explanations for its occurrence after the fact, making it explainable and predictable."

    So based on that ^....... LOVE IS A BLACK SWAN that Humans try to explain. So, is Life, so is feeling, so is emotion.

    It all comes out of nowhere and you never expect it, because nothing in the past can convingly point to its possibility.

    It carries an extreme impact (Oh YES). The whole human world is run by emotional decisions and reactivity. The biggest theme in books, movies, poems... Love.

    And yes..... despite all of the improbability and chaos it brings, we are constantly concocting explanations for what happened after it has occured making it explainable and predictable.
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2020
  4. MattD1995

    MattD1995 Gold

    How are you doing Sean? Anxious to hear.
    Sean Waters and Inger like this.
  5. Inger

    Inger Silver

    well Sean,
    I do not think that you need to choose one of those two. It is an overlapping situation, it can be both, so to say.
    It is not that simple but very quantum ;)

    Good redox makes us feel good and able to bear more pain, and feel more pain if we dare to expose ourselves to it.
    Life has its highs and lows and sometimes it is very painful an sometimes very joyful.
    I personally find that when I take care that my redox is good, I get more courageous. More fearless, or say, more able to carry and accept the fear and not let it rule me. But look closely into it, feel it, taste it.

    I feel, good redox helps me to see clearer. But it does not take away the work. And it does not take away pain. But the pain will be constructive rather than destructive. Hmmm does this make sense to you? :)
    Sean Waters and Pablo like this.
  6. Pablo

    Pablo New Member

    Hmmm it does to me. I´d say the pain is a "higher level pain" or stg like that. But I´m still figuring out… How to unify Jack with Eckhart Tolle!!! The big question!!! lol :)
    Sean Waters likes this.
  7. @Inger ... yeah I think you're probably right here. However, I've realised falling in love, or infatuation, or this heartbreak.... has some habituation (or in other words, history) in my life.

    @RMW pointed out so well that I seem to be always in relationships/ break ups.... I've been in so many. Not bragging. I think it's actually a really key sign of Poor Redox..........

    I felt this deep sickness, anxiety feeling, the last few months, after breaking up with the most recent girl.

    I found, as I have said many times, that I would feel it most when I was lowest charge... for whatever reason. Which made me ask, is what I'm feeling actually LOVE? or something else?

    Still not answered it completely. But, Robin made me draw out a timeline of relationships & redox state.... and lo and behold, I seem to love having a girlfriend, an infatuation, and a really emotional rollercoaster relationship before an inevitable break up and possible make up before break up once more (repeat as necessary), when I'm in a low health state.

    Right now my Redox has climbed higher again. I can feel it. And, I am really uninterested in having a relationship........ especially with the most recent girl, who was some kind of Astral Gift.... but I think she might have been actually, in hindsight, even more of a gift..... not because she was the girl I was meant to be marry for eternity or some shit, but actually as one of the biggest reflections/ lessons of my own behaviour and my own growth of awareness.

    I think it's not a secret to most of you reading here, who aren't also low dopamine, how fucking weird, crazy and emotional my writing has been here for the last few years while I've been sick........ the journal is a constant UP and DOWN...... is that not reflective of my Redox state too?

    It screams of instability. I'll take the time here to apologise and commend anyone who has had to deal with this along the way.... and apologies for any future times where this may happen. From my higher Dopamine self... for past, or future, lower Dopamine self.


    .... the update you've all been waiting for ;)

    So last I mentioned, I came to Guatemala, Lake Atitlan. The differences between here and Merida, on the surface, are as follows:
    • I was met with a much cooler environment. Circa 18-25°C. Compared to Merida/ Yucatan circa 25-35°C.
    • The population density was much lower in my town, at 15,000.
    • However, the Lake is like a BOWL... and cell towers around the top bounce waves of RF across the Lake like a mirror. Which means, for RF or EMF purposes it is probably best to include all 12 towns on the Lake...... circa 200,000 people.
    • Altitude - 1500m or "a mile high"
    • Magnetism - Volcanoes, but all dormant...... according to Jack's Apr 18 webinar, the yucatan is highest Mag field in the world, so I've definitely lost the magnetism
    • Water - here the water is poor. The filtration is standard, but it feels sweet on the tongue. The Reverse Osmosis water in Mexico was much better.
    • Less People.... days are far quieter socially, and the area seems to harbour lots of 60/70s biker/ hippie/ rocker expats from US and CA. I like that. But, they aren't the most open minded... and a lot of them are quite moody. A deeper look would reveal that they all have drink and drug problems.
    • A lot of mentally ill people, and sickness among the locals..
    • Seafood.... none, except for Frozen import, and Lake Fish - which is toxic
    • CT....? ..... nope, not in the Lake... it is so toxic, nobody except hardy locals take a swim. I've actually gone in, and it must be around 20°C. Takes about 40 mins to induce a shiver.
    • EMF.... every accommodation has WiFi... that's a drag. but so did my hostel in Merida and everywhere in Mexico. RF from towers seems to be low on my meter. I can't get a 4G signal where I am. But, the beach/ shorelines of the Lake... they are hot with RF... I think it must be the "bouncing" effect of the towers off the Lake where it crashes onto shore like the actually Water does. Overhead powerlines throughout with high ELF-EMF readings. The AC current is surging too. And my Tinnitus in all my accommodations here has been high
    • Food..... the main market has excellent Fruit, Veg and the Meat here is insanely good... grass fed Beef and EXCELLENT PORK - Good lord. The eggs too... really good.
    • Health food........ the Lake benefits from the Expat influence. There is an American Health Shop here "Para mi Salud" (for my health). It has EVERYTHING. All the supplements, coconut oil (actually this is abundant down here the San Lucas Mexico brand is imported by the tonne), herbs, spices, fermented this fermented that, organic rye bread... all the shit Black Swans don't need but are always tempted by ;) .... yeah this is how I got my Resveratrol down here.
    • Prices....... really cheap accommodation can be found in the town. Down by the Farm Road where I am, no 4G signal, you pay a hell of a lot more through Airbnb, or about 20% more through a local or an expat... my current place is 1/3 price due to Covid-19... so it would be $1200 a month, it's only $400. I have links to the Facebook groups who have accommodation all around the Lake in much smaller and "holistic towns"
    • Oh yeah....... there are lots of "healing" villages. Problem is, majority are Vegan, and so cut off you can't get signals or even internet......... for me, I have to work online still, so I can't do this just yet. But if you wanted "workaway" or zero EMf for a few months it could be good................... have to say though, I think there are much better locations out there in Central and South America than here for that, if you are gonna take the leap.... i don't recommend the place overall.

    Trying to think if I've missed anything................ Let me know if you have questions.

    My Health

    So it has been about 6 months, just shy, and overall I'm doing soooooooooo much better than last year. Jesus christ. I look and feel a different man.

    Mentally........ I feel probably the best I've felt in about 3 or 4 years, before I moved to London and broke apart. I am very social with friends at home, very social with my quarantine/ lockdown buddies here (only 4 of us on the property) and the Gardener Eduardo who I educate about Light and why I put my hands in cold water, to his complete amazement. The anxiety and struggles I had with my recent girl have faded so much it is unreal. The Sun here is just an anti-dote to "feeling bad". Every day, you just feel 0.1% better, and over time, you accummulate a feeling of wellness.... the Sun doesn't act quick I find, or not to my perception, but it is when you look back and compare, that you go.... oh shit, "I can eat Pork and Eggs now without feeling depressed".

    Energy............... MUCH HIGHER, and I don't Crash after meals either. One key difference is that I'm able to do the Ketogenic diet and eat a lot of foods I could never tolerate over the last few years, and feel the energy I used to from it.

    Hormones............... I'm not sure on this, I feel my libido is ok. But, in merida it was really really good, it is definitely less here.

    GUT.......... I think I still have Leaky Gut, and definitely worse than in Merida, why??... because of the night scratching and neuropathy. That is food/ toxins getting into Blood Stream.......... see Energy and Epigenetics #12 for that hypothesis.

    Neuropathy........ I've developed this, somehow, over the last 3 weeks. A part of me thinks it could have been some Moldy Water that gave me a bad reaction for a few weeks. Another part of me thinks it was the Resveratrol supplement that shorted out Cyt 1 and gave me ROS in my nervous system. I also felt photosensitive during that time. It could also just be nnEMF from the Computer. Or a combination of all 3. Either way, I'm now dealing with a new condition which is frustrating, but I am Iceing the hands in Cold Water and Ice every morning and night to combat, and within a day I already have relief and it's nearly gone after 3 days. I will continue this practice for the next 12 months to really put it into no mans land. I cannot have this problem so early in my life, I will have to fight it off now, or else I will pay later. I need to work using my Laptop, so it just isn't an option not to tackle it right now.

    My Sleep...... I seem to be able to sleep now from about 7.30/8pm all the way through til around 6am. And my body clock is forcing so much Adenosine on me, that even if I try to journal and stay awake, I physically can't resist........ it's a beautiful feeling actually.

    Sleep interruptions/ histamine/ scratching skin at night........... this has actually returned. Frustratingly. But, it tells me that my RF mitigation is not good enough. I had my Silver RF blanket delivered (mithril for LOTR fans) and it stopped the scratching somewhat........ problem is, the static from that blanket and the fact it always falls off is an issue....... I got my landlord to turn off my WiFi router, but the other 2 are still on down in the lower part of the property, where I'm currently typing this journal out. To download or upload, I have to run down and get the signal, do it, then run back to my WiFi free zone where I feel calm.

    ^ this brings me to a point about this place..........

    In Merida, in a 60 man hostel, with 4 routers, and local 4G towers..... I felt strong enough to workout, and had all of the above benefits....... whereas here, I feel like I'm having to do so much more to get the same amount of wellness.

    I'm not advocating Wifi to be "tolerable" by no means. But, in terms of the environment there, it must have been off-setting those things?......... Why is here not doing that?......There is more UV here, so surely it is better?.......It gives me clues........

    The differences I laid out at the top give me my hypothesis:

    - Temperature = INFRARED LIGHT

    I actually think when you opt for a cooler environment, even by 10 celsius, you are losing a huge amount of Infrared Light in your environment, right??!!......... could that have been a factor in why I felt "immune" to RF and not EHS when in a very high RF environment?

    - The Crater in Yucatan = MAGNETISM

    I actually cannot perceive this, I'm sure none of us can........ again, until you compare the environments, you can't see the difference. Could this be the key difference?


    Currently, I'm stuck here due to Covid-19........ but if I had it my way, I'd be out of here and going to 1 of 3 places:

    1. Yucatan
    2. Oaxaca (south of Yucatan, Puerto Escondido)
    3. Costa Rica

    I will continue to make gains here, it's obvious to anyone that it is a good place to heal. But, it isn't as good as I thought it would be.

    I will try Costa rica, perhaps in June, as it seems to be the only place opening up for Tourism anytime soon, and even that is questionable. I also wouldn't mind going Surfing and to the Ocean.... the lack of Ocean here is actually one of my biggest dislikes about this Lake. I love to be in Water.

    Then, I may go back to Mexico once I've reviewed costa Rica.

    Any questions/ specifics please fire away, I'll check back in a few days or so.


    It has above all completely vindicated what I have thought, and what I have learnt here on the site.

    Some areas aren't perfect, and there's still work to do.... but you will get better and better.

    I also tallied up how many Months of my life I spent in a toxic environment vs a tropical/ good environment:

    270 months - toxic, electrified grid, nnEMF, blue light, bad food

    6 months - UV10+, magnetism, good food, less EMF, less blue light, still electrified grid (working on it)

    = 264 months remaining before I can adequately "judge" the theories of whether this stuff is true or not on a fair basis. Still, it won't be fair because I was younger in the 270 months. But, you get my drift...... after 6, I'm already finding out, 2% of the way, that I'm doing 10x better than before......... that should tell you everything!

    My reality also magically "worked out" too. Getting a remote income with an old Boss of mine. And getting over my heartbreak really quickly. And feeling more and more self-confident and aware of my self.

    Jack Kruse, Inger and MattD1995 like this.
  8. MattD1995

    MattD1995 Gold

    Holy crap. Your description of your relationship cycle (infatuation, breakup, makeup, breakup) has been the story of my love life for the last 5 years. Being in a low dopamine state makes relationships so damn hard. I never know exactly what I want, and I’m so selfish with what little energy/dopamine that I have left in my low redox state that I usually end up being the one who always breaks things off. All of my exes have said the same thing:

    - “you don’t open up enough”
    - “you seem like you’re never 100% in the relationship”
    - “I feel like I’m always about to lose you”

    I used to think all the girls I’ve dated were the problem. Now, I’m realizing low redox had been my problem. I’ve had the same feeling of sickness and anxiety since breaking up with my last ex over a year ago. She treated me so damn well and we clicked perfectly, but in my low redox state, I couldn’t handle giving any energy to a relationship, and I broke it off with her. I’m never going to have a happy relationship until I fix my redox and my own issues.
    Pablo, Inger and Sean Waters like this.
  9. EPIC reply............
  10. How much is Redox the factor in relationships man?.... i think its a lot more than we probably want to admit to.

    All the more reason to live out relationships in low latitudes....
    Jack Kruse likes this.
  11. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Great stuff guys. Great stuff. This is the truth what you are speaking here.
    I know it, but from the other side.
    I am so very glad that you acknowledge what is going on :love:
    Sean Waters likes this.
  12. My redox taking down swings again....

    Something is bothering me in this environment.

    The Water here is bad. I can taste and feel it. The days are getting dark and cloudy, earlier.

    I really think Heat/ IR is a major factor I'm missing too.
  13. Of course, as expected, my voltage dips and I'm missing my ex.... I don't trust it at all.

    I cannot even trust my own feelings until I find a better redox state.
    shah78 likes this.
  14. Anne V

    Anne V Silver

    i have been following you with great interest.
    if instead of a girlfriend , you would have a cat //or dog.
    would you go to that much analysis?
    or just love your cat/dog without much more thinking?
    i am asking you , whats the difference???

    an open heart with love in it is my understanding
    looking forward to your answer .
    Last edited: May 16, 2020
    Sean Waters and caroline like this.
  15. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Dear Anne .....I think you nailed it!

    Patience and an open heart filled with love......
    Sean Waters likes this.
  16. I think it's a good point... my answer = you maybe don't need either with high Redox and dopamine.
    However, finding resonance.. socialising, sex, love... I think its also necessary for true optimal and the most joy.
    thats what I seek ^
    Over analysis/ thinking is a problem in itself.... it helps me get better, but it needs to be checked... Yesterday I let go and partied and socialised and it felt incredible to be with people and laughing, in a hostel with high EMF etc.....

    I haven't laughed like that in months. My soul was on fire.....

    Got to just find my optimal dose of that and not destroy redox.... but more Time out here = more redox = lower risks from environment = more freedom = more joy.
    This is why i encourage people to move.... Life just gets better and better.
    I'm seeking my Liberty. Freedom to live. That's my game, always has been. The best life for myself, and friends.
    Last edited: May 19, 2020
  17. 1 year ago, the partying = annihilation for a week..... I feel utterly fine today. That's incredible for me.
    I target new goals too... not just tolerating Meat again... but to have family, optimal relationships.. self confidence... I want to lose the need for over-analysis... achieve freedom and be grateful.... learn surfing, play football again... enjoy foods... cities, places.... also, maybe enough energy to help others again.

    It is all Redox though.... and as u said Caroline, Patience.....
    caroline likes this.
  18. It's coming... Month by month... Blood gets better.
  19. MattD1995

    MattD1995 Gold

    Sean, do I recall you saying you have sleep apnea or some type of sleep issue?
  20. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Sean .....have you ever thought of jut sitting back quietly and observing and taking it all in?
    Solo, of course, is great ....but in a group setting?

    I always thought I had to say something meaningful/terrific/funny etc etc, fill the gap, get people to like me, try to be someone I am not. I have learned to just be quiet sometimes and listen ...really listen.

    It was a revelation to me to just sit back and ENJOY my surroundings and the company. Strangely - it gave me huge self confidence.

    People are attracted to self confidence and patience and a kind heart.

    Of course, Jack taught me this.

    When you are in Jack's company notice how he is keenly observing and paying attention.......
    Sean Waters likes this.

Share This Page