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Sean's Optimal Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Sean Waters, Jan 24, 2018.

  1. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

  2. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Waiting for them to change hurts. Forgetting them is going to hurt....... But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful........
    You are not the victim of the world, but rather the master of your own destiny. It is your choices and decisions that determine your destiny.
  3. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    You are not the victim of the world, but rather the master of your own destiny.
    It is your choices and decisions that determine your destiny.

    Christine_L, caroline and Sean Waters like this.
  4. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    But .....I don't think we should or can forget people we have loved in our life.

    We have lessons to learn....

    They have lessons to learn....
  5. RMW

    RMW New Member

    Have a look at Tommy Caldwell- without spoiling too much of the story he was a promising rock climber but lost his left index finger at the age of 23 in 2001 and was told his climbing career was over... In 2015, National Geographic said Tommy was "arguably the best all-around rock climber on the planet". After he was the first to free climb the "Dawn Wall" of El Capitan in Yosemite National Park.

    He says that losing his finger made him better.
    Phosphene and Sean Waters like this.
  6. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    I'm anticipating losing will lead to me winning too.
    Sean Waters likes this.
  7. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    Wise words from the Italian Stallion... all 1:11 is worth listening too-

    Phosphene, Jenelle and Sean Waters like this.
  8. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    Ask yourself this one question: do you fully love yourself?

    As you make progress, people will try to pull you down

    caroline and Sean Waters like this.
  9. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    That is fucking class.......... love it.

    Also, give me a ring when you can about Sunday, I'm swamped at the moment with work and getting ready for leaving (just handed my notice in - left it to 7 days, as you suggested).

    Oh yeah......... For everyone else. Fucking out of this office in 7 days, and out the country in 9 days........... NEVER BEEN SO READY.
    b.pezzia, RMW, Michalis and 4 others like this.
  10. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    Congratulations Sean! Enjoy the next chapter of your book... viajes seguros!

    “Jobs fill your pockets. Adventures fill your soul.”
    Phosphene, Sean Waters and caroline like this.
  11. JanSz

    JanSz Gold


    Question frequently
    do not trust answers

    Last edited: Nov 14, 2019
    caroline likes this.
  12. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    Last day at work is tomorrow, and Friday I'm flying out of here......... this whole leaving thing didn't feel real until today.

    It is starting to hit me, what I am actually doing. Because, I just know, this time I'm not gonna come back after a couple months.

    This time is so different. Not just my redox, symptoms etc.

    My actual mentality, my ability to attack my fears... I never had this at the start of the journal in January 2018...

    I've found people too - and ideas - and it all leads to a vision of prosperity and hope.

    Leaving your home seems like "nothing" these days, in our world of backpacking and global connectivity. But, when you know that you are about to lose time of the presence of those you love, that years will roll by when you don't see their face, years of growth and change. It becomes saddening, and upsetting.

    The person I'm thinking of the most here is my Mom.

    Her turn around this last few weeks has been nothing short of incredible. I say that word a lot, but truly, she has absolutely defied my sense of reason. People who keep up with my journal know that I was ready to write her off with the rest of my family until one day when I totally lost my discipline and unloaded every inch of honesty and anger on her in the living room.

    She's seen and now she cannot unsee.

    She's journalling daily, and she is realising so much about the people around her, and her husband... who has had her under control for 20 years... utter manipulation and scare-tactics.

    Do you know, she works for him, and she is the only person he draws the cash out of the bank to give it to her by hand?

    Because she has to take the money from him, it is like a constant reminder of who owns who.

    It makes me sick to my stomach.... but this is her Chaos, this is her 5G, her EMF, this is her Entropy that she needs for Growth of her soul.

    But as he continues to be absorbed by his Smart Phone, and steadily decline from big tough guy-rich business man with an aura of Power and Stability, into a fucking blue light addicted child with nothing to do but manipulate out of fear........ she gets stronger and wiser.

    I told her last year - I forgot this, but she reminded me - "the no. 1 thing he does to you is robs you of your time, because with time on your hands, you'd be dangerous."

    He does this by constantly putting her under pressure. He holds the business, the finances, and he wields this as his Power over her. I think he knows she doesn't love him truly, and this is how he punishes her for it.

    She has to do ALL the leg-work.... the staying late at work, walking his dogs that she didn't want (they are a nightmare to walk too), making sure his business runs smooth, looking after his mother who has M.S., organising his whole fucking life, cooking his dinner, getting food and making sure to be available all the time for phone calls or things he wants to do, and if he needs her or else she gets hit with "where the fuck were you??".... or if she goes on holiday with her own Mom, she gets back and she gets ignored for a month to punish her and make her feel unsteady, like she used to, before she met him, when she was a single Mom of three in a rough area.

    Boiling my blood writing this.......... myself and my siblings have become passive about him, because he plays the simple relaxed persona when we see him, and we forget what he really is. My Mom is totally engulfed she isn't even aware of him being an issue.

    I feel like she's been a slave, and I've condoned it.

    But - I've broken the chains. I've set her free. She's shit-scared, honestly, she's shaking inside. But she can't unsee what she has seen....... she is growing tremendously in an act of rebellion. She says that her mind has been opened up, and she is constantly questioning everything around her (I love this).

    She hasn't gone into work some days and not even cared, when normally she'd be too frightened of upsetting the Boss (my stepdad). She has realised her potential as a HR Director and is applying for jobs, she never even thought she could work anywhere else (I know, WTF). She is sorting through what it means and how it works to undergo a Divorce by researching and contacting solicitors (she is doing it carefully, and rightly so). She has put a HR accreditation on the business so she is qualified if she needs to be....... packing parachutes.

    And after 4 weeks of him ignoring her, with him expecting her to concede, after 20 years of her always conceding....... she always offers the first olive branch whether she is right or wrong, this time he gave in first.......... and now, for the first time.... she told him to GET FUCKED.

    I'm honestly so happy to witness all of this. I know she isn't going to stop, but I am sad that I will miss her growth at this CRITICAL time. But, she also needs to do this alone..... me leaving will be chaos for her to embrace. Hold it steady now Mom

    @Jack Kruse said to me in Poland...... "Your Circle of Friends are a mirror of you"

    I've witnessed my Mom change into something entirely different, living with fire inside her, honesty, truth, passion and fighting for her life.

    I've witness @RMW completely transform in the space of a few months into this warrior, this assured and confident man who is the master of his destiny.

    In the process, and as a reflection of their changes back on to me, I've reflected on how much I have changed, and how powerful I have become in the last 2 years since I started this journal.

    I wonder where I'll be in another 2 years? I wonder what adventure and chaos awaits me.........

    And I'm not planning to slow down, not one bit......... I have to keep up with the people I've set alight now.........

    And this is how your Circle of Six raises your game and saves your life. This is what it means to trust in those who pack your parachute.
    Cuffy, Christine_L, b.pezzia and 7 others like this.
  13. drezy

    drezy New Member

  14. Michalis

    Michalis New Member

    Good stuff Sean, your effort is going to pay dividends for your mum soon enough!
    Sean Waters likes this.
  15. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    You just keep getting wiser and wiser Sean....you reflect your fire back onto all of us with your journal and that is “real light!”

    Your Mom will be triumphant because she has you!
    Sean Waters likes this.
  16. RMW

    RMW New Member

    You know I absolutely love this.
    Sean Waters likes this.
  17. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    Well look at this..................... This just FUCKED ME UP with goosebumps.........

    I'm flying out of Manchester, so we have to drive up there (me and Mom) and stay in a hotel for the night, as my flight is the next morning.

    I decided to google the route for my Mom to take me to the airport. Then I thought, maybe I could get a train instead because of traffic/ risk of missing flight.

    So - the train, it is only 20 mins journey, no traffic, less pressure and I can leave later and have breakfast with my Mom.... Ok, but where is the hotel in relation to the station?


    Don Senor Universe is having a laugh to himself as usual............. #OneZero
    5G Canary, RMW and Mitchell97 like this.
  18. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Buy your Mom a small backpack so she can come meet up with you wherever you are .....and whenever she needs to get some FRESH air!

    You both have so much to look forward to ........wherever your paths lead individually.

    As my guy loves to say ...."come on - just have a go!!!" For some reason he says this in a Scottish accent.

    We stayed in an airB&B in Manchester - if you need a cheap place to stay. Rachel our host, is an expert at "having a go"
    Sean Waters, 5G Canary and drezy like this.
  19. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    The reason I suggest a small back pack ........I sat beside a Lady Doctor on the plane on the way home. She only travels with a lite day pack - no matter how long she is away. She had just been away for 4 weeks when we met up.

    With this small backpack she can go anywhere, get on any bus, fly cheaply on internal flights, spend the day carrying this if she has lots of time before a flight . She can take it to the theatre or an art gallery. She is so mobile and crams so much more into her travels instead of lugging heavy luggage like we did.

    You can be a great reason for your Mom to go places she may not have thought about on her own!
    Sean Waters and drezy like this.
  20. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    So true Caroline- Love this! Maybe she can ride Shotgun with her backpack....

    Prayers said for safe travel today Sean!
    Sean Waters, Phosphene and caroline like this.

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