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Sean's Optimal Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Sean Waters, Jan 24, 2018.

  1. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    [​IMG]

    Deep question that needs to be pondered at the end of every year........writing down all my current beliefs and many have been taken to the woodshed this year. 2020 will be interesting. To burn with a desire to change things in your life and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.
     
    Phosphene, Jenelle, Michalis and 2 others like this.
  2. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    I feel like my whole belief system along with my physical body has been taken to the woodshed the past decade. My conscious and subconscious have had to evolve in order to survive. What I believed was a death sentence has turned into a liberating new beginning. “Die before you die.”

    2020.....it’s a new pattern and a new beginning! A great leader is constantly evolving....having to evolve and perform virtual brain surgery now. Maybe?

    If your thoughts/actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a great leader.”

    Our thoughts/actions will continue to create our reality in the here and now. The only control we have is over our thoughts/actions and when we use our intuition they should help us find and stay in authentic light. We need lots of love, people and food bathed in authentic light. Light is everything!

    Thoughts/actions can be challenging when we are living in 5G....as we will begin to lose this control as our thoughts/actions will become slowly hijacked and manipulated. But I also don’t believe 5G can hijack or manipulate our intuition. Maybe- we need to evolve by using and developing our intuition more? It will lead us to the right light.... when we listen to it.
     
    caroline, Phosphene and Inger like this.
  3. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Jealousy is no good sign....
    and I so agree, speaking the truth is a must, if a relationship is to have any future....
     
  4. drezy

    drezy Gold

    I, as a caveman, approve this message.

    That sentence stands out.

    Have you ever thought about writing longhand letters (and keeping it on that medium) to any women you are interested in?

    There are many women supporting you here. I wonder if they would see handwritten communication as unique, interesting, and maybe even a little bit frustrating in a good way....
     
    Phosphene, Jenelle and Inger like this.
  5. Handwriting is nice but I want to *hear* a man speak. Women love with their ears not with their eyes....
     
    Inger likes this.
  6. And of course deceit can be found in words without actions...
     
    Inger likes this.
  7. Inger

    Inger Silver

    That is a great idea!

    I would not go and talk on facebook with any man I would like to know better or who would like to know me.
    I just dislike it.

    I use emails (or sms of course, but limited), if cant meet in real life. Handwritten letter of course tops it all :) :)

    I do no have whatsapp either and do not want it.
    I could not bother less if men turn around and leave because I do not have or want to have/use those fancy social media things...lol
    To me, it just shows about their tech addiction and such a man I do not even bother with! :ninja:
     
    caroline and Phosphene like this.
  8. Inger

    Inger Silver

    oh yes... the voice... I am always in love with the voice if I Iove a man :) huh

    I do not think that you can really deepen a relationship for real without meeting and spending lots of time together in REAL.
    yes words and actions have to fit, or better, you got to watch their actions.....
     
    caroline, Phosphene and Christine_L like this.
  9. I agree - being in person is the key. You cant have a fully formed relationship without time spent together. I say this out of my own experience and disappointments.
     
    Phosphene and Inger like this.
  10. @drezy

    I love that idea..... currently, she has sent me a book and written commentary throughout it. So we can read the book together.

    I loved it. I plan on writing one back. Maybe, that is what I need to do this week.................

    So we spoke today, I couldn't wait until skype at the weekend.

    She said she was scared, and hadn't planned to get into a serious thing so soon after her ex last year, where she felt trapped for 4 years. She also didn't want to talk on facebook, because she wants to do it all in person... but her trip to New York rattled her because she said she thought of me so much in NY that it made her dizzy. Especially after I sent her Relationship Redox #8 by email.......

    I kinda just shared it to be like "look how cool this is", but she probably saw it as some kind of marriage proposal. Fuck lol.

    All in all..... once again.... attacking that "niggle", that bit of tension, releases the problem straight away.

    I feel at peace again with her. Even though we still have so much to discuss.
     
  11. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    @drezy

    I have one poem my husband wrote to me, on a train, on a shitty little piece of spiral notebook paper, with a shitty old railroad pen.

    I have it folded just right, and put in a frame.

    Over the past several months, I had this idea in my mind to make a list of my top 5 material items. Like, what, if I lost in a fire, would be heartbreaking ~ or what, if I had to leave my home with only 5 items ... what would they be?

    I haven’t gotten very far with it, because I only thought of ONE so far ... and I don’t even know where that item IS. Lol. I think my husband’s poem is now my second thing. You reminded me of it. Thank you.
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  12. https://medium.com/lady-vivra/relationship-red-flags-67842e332627

    Why we ignore red-flags in our relationships.
    There are a number of reasons we ignore the red flags our partners are showing us, and they come down to everything from our own selfish narcissism to our willingness only to see the best in our partners. In order to build happy, fulfilling relationships, however, we have to accept our partners — and the bonds we share with them — for who and what they are.

    We’re afraid of the truth
    One of the most common reasons we turn away from the truth about our relationships is because we’re afraid of facing the truth. To accept a negative truth about your spouse or loved one is to see them (and yourself) in a different light. The truth is a painful thing, sometimes, and it can be easier to turn away from it than to turn toward it. The problem with this method, however, is that it only compounds the issues we’re experiencing and makes it harder for us to find ourselves beneath the layers of lies and unhappiness.

    We’re afraid of change
    Red flags — aside from being a warning that you’re with the wrong person — are also a sign of coming change. As humans, change terrifies us, and we’ll do almost anything to avoid the discomfort of the unknown. When our partner shows us behavior that is contrary to our image of them, it’s always a sign that something is changing in the partnership and that can be difficult to accept for one or both parties involved.

    We don’t believe in ourselves
    Perhaps the most common reason we ignore warning signs from our partner is our own failure to believe in ourselves. When you’re haunted by low self-esteem, you doubt even your most basic of instincts and feelings. Rather than trusting that gnawing feeling in your gut — you ignore it — in the hopes that you’re simply doing something wrong once again. Shutting out our intuition is a dangerous game to play, and one that can find us facing more regrets than we might have done otherwise. It all comes down to believing in ourselves and believing that we want for us is both right and deserved.

    We’ve been brainwashed
    Many of us were raised to believe that our relationships were do-or-die. As children, our parents told us the importance of committing, and instilled in us the idea of breakups as taboo and highly undesirable. We view the ending of relationships as failure, when really all they are is the end of one chapter and the start of another. Rather than viewing our partnerships as a chore, we should view them as an opportunity; one that begins and ends when it is meant to. Nothing more, nothing less.


    How to deal when the warning lights go off.

    Get rational
    The first step in dealing with a red flag in our relationship is to take a step back and drop the emotions. Though issues in our partnerships can take a lot out of us mentally and emotionally, it’s important to use our brains to think through our next steps before we do anything that’s irrational or out of character for ourselves.

    Look past the chemistry and the butterflies to what is really going on at the base of it all. Who is the person you’re looking at in this moment? Do they match the idealized figure you’ve built up in your mind? What behaviors are confirming or denying that belief?

    We can feel powerful (and irrational) feelings for people who are toxic to us. Just because we feel a certain urge for someone does not mean that we need them, or even that they need us. It’s important to use your rational, logical mind when you’re feeling doubts about your partner and how they treat you. Ask yourself if they have the qualities you need to be happy in a relationship with them and be honest with yourself — and them.

    Trust yourself
    One of the reasons we commonly find ourselves staying in relationships that don’t suit us is because we don’t trust ourselves. We don’t trust ourselves to pick the right (or wrong) people and we don’t trust ourselves to be alone in the world. Low self-confidence eats away at us and completely destroys our ability to trust our gut and the the important things it’s telling us.

    Stop ignoring your better judgement and start listening to it instead. Pay attention to those warning bells that are going off in your head and address them, rather than setting them to “silent”. If you feel as though you’re being used, step back and assess that feeling. Are you in a one-sided relationship where one party is giving more than that other?

    Our bodies have clearcut signals that send to us whenever thing aren’t going the way they should be. If you’re feeling angry all the time, it might be your brain’s way of telling you that you’re with someone who is undermining your happiness. If you’re feeling drained, you might be with someone who is using you for what you have, rather than who you are. Trust yourself, and trust the signals your body, brain and heart are sending you. You might just be surprised at the truth you uncover when you start trusting yourself.

    Get comfortable alone
    Many of us ignore red flags because we’re scared to be alone. As humans, we’re social creatures that crave companionship, and this is impacted also by the societal narrative that we must be in a partnership in order to be valuable and happy. These are all things, however, that are untrue. In order to find true and authentic happiness, we have to earn how to be happy being alone.

    Stop staying in a dysfunctional relationship just because you’re scared of being alone. Though walking away can be painful and scary, being on our own is one of the only ways we can learn who we truly are. When you live constantly under the blanket of someone else’s shade, you never learn how to shine in your own rightful light. We have to take leaps and step out on our own if we want to learn how to be independent and happy — but that’s a scary first step to take when a partnership is all you’ve ever known.

    Accept that getting comfortable with your solitude is a process, and dip your toe into it slowly. Keep a solid relationship with yourself, and spend a little time each and every day (alone) digging into how you’re feeling and why you feel that way. Engage in activities that encourage you to develop your strengths and skills and, slowly, come to fall in love with yourself again. Only when you realize how deserving of love you are on your own, will you truly be able to appreciate the depth of the love you have to offer to someone else. It’s also the only way you’ll learn just what quality of love you deserve (spoiler: it’s the best kind.)

    Start choosing positive
    There’s a lot to be said about the kind of people we surround ourselves with. When we surround ourselves with warm, caring and positive people — we attract more of that into our lives — but it takes a bit of time and understanding to get there.

    Drop the chronic Negative Nancy’s in your life and look instead for people who are motivated and uplifting. When you encircle yourself with people who want the best for themselves, it will inspire you to want more for yourself, and their positivity and motivation will do wonder for your self-esteem.

    Being surrounded by people who go after their dreams, it will inspire you to go after yours. Successful and happy people rub off on the people in their circles, and uplift them simply by being an example of what’s possible. Put high quality people in your life and you’ll realize that you are a high-quality asset that deserves to be treated with that kind of love, value and respect. Stop being second fiddle to the second fiddle, and step out into the spotlight you deserve.

    Meet your own needs
    One of the most important lessons we can learn in this life is not to let others do for us what we could easily do for ourselves. Being self-sufficient is more than just a survival skill, it’s the means by which we bolster our self-esteem and become more aware of who we are at our authentic core.

    Despite what you might think, there is no one in this life whose sole purpose is caring for you. You are the only one who can truly meet your needs, and you’re the only person on this planet who truly knows — inside and out — what those needs are. Rather than waiting on someone else to fulfill your happiness, do it yourself, and start doing it now. If there are problems in your life, you are the only one who can fix them.

    Meeting your own needs comes down, mainly, to self-esteem and self-respect. When you love yourself, you lose the need for others to fulfill desires you can fulfill yourself. When you respect yourself, you’ll stop accepting less than you deserve and you’ll start going after the things you’ve earned with a passion that will inspire others to respect you just as much as you respect yourself.

    Forming boundaries (and sticking to them)
    Our boundaries and limitations are some of the most important aspects of self we can develop. Boundaries are the cues by which we teach people how to treat us, and they are the limits which define our closest and most personal relationships. Weak boundaries and limitations signal a person who is happy to be walked over, and they also signal a person who doesn’t respect themselves and their place in the world. If you’re dealing with serious red flags in your partner, it might be a sign that your boundary lines need to be redrawn.

    Our limits serve as the perimeter fencing by which we make it clear what we will and will not tolerate. They communicate everything from what personal space we need to what levels of physical affection are okay. Limits are the road signs which tell others, “this is okay” or “this is not okay” and they are a critical part of any happy and enduring relationship.

    Honoring our limits forces our partners to also honor those limits. Boldly building up our boundary lines sets limits on our partners and more clearly communicates the type of behavior and interaction that is acceptable. It also allows us to weed out partners that don’t have our best interests at heart, and find those who are a better fit for what we need both emotionally and physically.

    Become the person you want to be with
    It’s no secret that we attract what we project into the world. If you’re dealing with a partner who is aggressive, problematic or less-than-ideal — it might be a sign that you are putting that same energy out into the universe. We have to become the people we want to attract, so red flags can also be a warning to ourselves that major internal changes are needed for our authentic self to thrive.

    Become the ideal partner you want to attract. If you’re looking for a healthy relationship with someone who is career driven and ambitious, become that person and start going after the things you want most in this life. Keep your promises and up your integrity. Don’t give in or drop the ball just because the other person is. After all, the only person you can control is you.

    Make time for new people and new opportuntiies and put yourself out there in a way that you never have before. Communicate to your current partner what you want, and let them know the steps that you are going to take to get there. Your growth will leave them with 1 of 2 choices: shape up or ship out. If you want to move up, move up, and trust that those who are meant to travel with you on this journey will do so. Fulfill yourself, and you’ll find yourself matched with those who are also self-fulfilled and happy. Don’t just be the change you want to see in the world, be the person you want to see in the world.

    Putting it all together…
    There are a number of relationship red flags we should never ignore, but they can get lost beneath our fears and uncertainties. When our partners show us who they are, we have to believe them, but that takes a certain self-awareness and self-respect to manage. More often than not, we ignore the warnings our partners give us because we’re scared of being alone, or scared of managing things with our own strength. Being alone is hard, but learning how to love ourselves is even harder; a critical piece of learning how to set boundaries that protects us from red-flag lovers.

    Red flags like rumination, controlling behavior and physical and emotional abuse should never be ignored. Likewise, it’s important to pay attention when our partners exhibit bad tempers, poor financial control or even a habit of cheating on their partners. Confronted with such major warnings, its important to reconfirm our boundaries, stick up for ourselves, and surround ourselves with the kind of motivation, positivity and change we need to unlock our true and lasting happiness. People show us who they are for a reason and it’s up to us to manage how we react and interact with those behaviors. If your partner is sending you red flags — believe them — and take a step back to figure out what you need and want in order to move forward into a brighter and happier tomorrow.
     
    caroline likes this.
  13. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)

    Lots of stuff to chew on here, as usual.

    Handwritten correspondence is such a revealing thing. It shows that the person cares enough to put in the extra effort, and minor expense. So much can be learned from those words on the page! I used to be a huge letter writer, and even got into graphology (handwriting analysis) for awhile. I was doing a quick zip through a grocery store yesterday and cut through the greeting card aisle. A whole aisle devoted to not much more than greeting cards on both sides! It felt like a time warp and made me smile to think that enough people must be buying these things to devote such shelf space.

    I sadly can’t remember the last time I sent one. I have stacks of them stashed away, waiting for the perfect opportunity to be sent. Maybe that’s one thing I’ll do over the upcoming ten days away—write out some cards and actually send them.

    One thing that convinced me I shouldn’t divorce was that I couldn’t stand to part with my husband’s love letters (and I couldn’t pawn my engagement ring to help pay the lawyer either.) :)
     
    caroline and Sean Waters like this.


  14. Vengence cupped within the flower
    Deadly petals with strange power
    Faces shine a deadly smile
    Look upon you at your trial
    Chill that numbs from head to toe
    Icy sun with frosty glow
    Words that go read to your sorrow
    Words that go read no tommorow

    Feel your spirit rise with the breeze
    See your body falling to it's knees
    Sleeping wall of remorse
    Turns your body to a corpse
    Turns your body to a corpse
    Turns your body to a corpse
    Sleeping wall of remorse
    Turns your body to a corpse

    Now from darkness there springs light
    Wall of sleep is cool and bright
    Wall of sleep is lying broken
    Sun shines in you have awoken
     
  15. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    WHY? DOPAMINE IS MADE IN REAL LIFE WHEN PEOPLE MEET.

    Simple.
     
    Sean Waters likes this.
  16. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator


    Sometimes we have to accept people do not deserve to be in our life........so make them appreciate you by showing them what life is like without you in it. Harsh.......but effective.
     
    Michalis and Sean Waters like this.
  17. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Writing is the best way to do it.......but I hand them the note in person and make them read what I wrote and then I look into their eyes.........that is when the magic occurs.
     
    Phosphene, Sean Waters and caroline like this.


  18. I had a dream. Crazy dream.
    Anything I wanted to know, any place I needed to go

    Hear my song. People won't you listen now?
    Sing along. You don't know what you're missing now.

    Any little song that you know
    Everything that's small has to grow. And it has to grow!

    California sunlight, sweet Calcutta rain
    Honolulu Starbright - the song remains the same.

    Sing out Hare Hare, dance the Hoochie Koo.
    City lights are oh so bright, as we go sliding... sliding... sliding through.
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  19. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)

    ^^^^^ That’s more like it! I got partway through that Black Sabbath (which I can normally take in small doses) and couldn’t help but equate the follow rather grisly images. {{{{{{shiver}}}}}}}

    Bad shiver.

    93A13784-6FE9-4D8E-892D-ED0F3B80C65F.jpeg

    AEE4188C-47C1-453A-8774-9690936C2BF5.jpeg
     
  20. Tony Iommi lost his fingers as he was just about to go touring with a famous band around Europe (not Sabbath), as he was a master guitar player at the age of 17.

    Times were really tough here in Birmingham back then, in the 60s, we didn't have California beaches and flower power, and we didn't have the cosmopolitan scenes in London... Instead, the kids from here had their jobs in Metal Workshops (Black Sabbath gave birth to the genre of Metal) which often costed them limbs, fingers and disabled them.

    https://www.thevintagenews.com/2017/11/29/tony-iommi/

    His true calling was as a guitarist, but at the age of 17 he was working in a sheet metal factory. He claims ‘it was a boring job’, although he liked welding. On his last day of work he was reluctant to go, but his mother convinced him to finish his job properly, after all, that is what mothers do.

    That day, he had to work a big machine that cut metal sheets, much like a guillotine. He hadn’t been trained how to use the machine properly and was manually sliding the metal sheets along the conveyor belt when the cutter caught Iommi’s two fingertips on his right hand, slicing them off.


    This would be a terrible blow to the guitarist’s playing skills and he was very depressed after the accident, believing he would never play guitar again. Even though he had the option of switching hands and playing right-handed, he dismissed it as it would take too much time and would change his style.

    The factory manager visited him in the hospital and told him the story of Django Reinhardt, the renowned jazz guitarist, as an act of encouragement. Reinhardt was a Belgian-born French guitarist of Romani descent. He was a major contributor to jazz and he, much like Iommi, lost his fingers on the left hand in an accident. He only played with two fingers, which required very specific tuning of his guitar strings.

    After hearing this story, Iommi was inspired to continue playing the guitar. He stuck plastic tips on his fingers to compensate for his injury and started to rework his technique to better fit his condition.

    In any case, he decided to continue playing left-handed. But, this method had its downside – he couldn’t feel the strings as he pressed them down. He also had difficulty bending them, as they were too thick, so he had to make his own light gauge guitar strings. Sometime in 1970 or 1971, the first light gauge strings were manufactured by Picato Strings. Iommi also enhanced his skill by using his little finger more than before the accident.

    Iommi began tuning down his guitar as far as three semitones below the standard E tuning. While loosening the strings made it easier for Iommi to play, this also made the guitar sound more heavier and more aggressive, pioneering a totally new feel to rock ‘n’ roll. The essential Black Sabbath album, “Master of Reality” integrated this low tuning to create a masterpiece, and its release was a pivotal point in the history of rock.

    While the unfortunate accident had cost Tony Iommi his two fingertips, his example paved the way for many musical acts to follow suit, turning a bad thing into a good thing.

    If it wasn’t for Iommi’s mother convincing him to go to work on his last day, we wouldn’t have “Into the Void”, “Sweet Leaf”, “Children of the Grave” and other classic heavy metal songs, making Iommi’s mother half responsible for the birth of heavy metal. As if more emphasis on the saying “listen to your mother” was needed.

    Turning Chaos into Order is exactly what happened.

    I know many can't "hear" what Sabbath are saying in their songs. I never used to, until I entangled with it in July at the exhibition.

    But I've never been prouder and loved a band so truly.

    Also..........
    ALL OF THEIR COLOURS ARE PURPLE WITH A BACKGROUND OF FIRE............... They are THE Ultra-Violet LIGHT BAND.

    And they heavily focus in on Death and Time and Chaos as their themes....... this is something I LOVE, because it is the part of life that everyone ignores because it makes them feel uneasy.


    @Phosphene I do fucking love Zeppelin though......... and that song I posted, I think is all about the feeling of Loving Life....... "they can't see what they're missing".... I felt that this morning, like as if I was the only person around that can feel how great this life is...... and it was a day where I couldn't listen to Sabbath, it's a Zeppelin day today - I need notes that match my frequency, and today...... I'm very in love with life and order..... Chaos is set aside for another day.
     
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