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Sean's Optimal Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Sean Waters, Jan 24, 2018.

  1. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Sean your time was not wasted with me in Poland. That last post of yours made me smile........a lot.

    When you see a pilot light go on.......it inspires awe.

    When we spoke in Poland I sensed there was awe going on........so I jumped far out like I was on the rim of the Grand Canyon

    Maybe you’ve felt AWE when you stood on the rim of the Grand Canyon. Awe also comes when you think about the vastness of space or glance up at the sky and marvel at a supermoon. Sometimes we feel it when you see someone offers up a personal story of devastation to help you light your own pilot light, and we can sense awe when we see a person give up their seat on a crowded train to another individual they've never met.

    The emotion your feeling now Sean is awe. You should be in awe of what you just wrote. Psychologists tell us in research AWE can play an important role in bolstering happiness, healing, and bonding in our social interactions. Wasn't that the story in Poland my friend? — AWE likely has actually long played a role in how and why humans get along and ultimately cooperate with one another.


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  2. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Awe is designed to come and go in waves..........you are designed to be hit with these waves every so often.

    Making sure your environment is filled with places and people who generate these waves are your job you facilitate with CHOICES
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  3. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    I collect people who awe me..........You met a few of the Sean.

    Neuroscientists who study AWE define it as the emotion we feel in response to something vast that defies our existing frame of reference in one area or another and leads us to change our perception of that frame of reference.

    This change is what builds an open mind ready to be lit...........

    AWE makes us small.........in the universe and we become forced to realize we are connected to a larger fabric and that fabric we need explore.

    One important distinction between awe and other emotions (like inspiration or surprise) is that awe makes us feel small — or feel a sense of “self-diminishment” in science-speak. And that’s good for us in a nonlinear counterintuitive way.

    We spend a lot of our time thinking about what’s going on in our world and what’s affecting us directly. Sensing and feeling Awe in our environment changes that, making us see ourselves as a small piece of something larger. This is why I elevated friends to number 2 Sean. You met some of my AWEsome crew.

    Feeling small makes us feel humbled (thereby lessening selfish tendencies like entitlement, arrogance, and narcissism). And feeling small and humbled makes us want to engage with others and feel more connected to others.

    Didn't that happen to our group in Poland?

    Rhetorical question.
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  4. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    You can experience awe at varying intensities, and in your own ways Sean: listening to a moving piece of music like we did in Poland over and over again, seeing a giant skyscraper, or reading a newspaper story about a local hero, or hearing a story about a friend that shocks and awes you in some way.
    Sean Waters likes this.
  5. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Fundamentally, awe is about novelty and vastness. Physical space might create that vastness, as can someone’s talent or someone’s goodness, or their depravity and how they used it as fuel to make something awesome of their lives.

    Awe comes in many forms. It is our job to find as many as we can.
    Sean Waters likes this.
  6. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    And negative experiences, too, can trigger awe (think natural disasters or personal ones.............

    This is why wounds create wisdom.
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  7. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Your post smacks that you need to be awe'd now........

    Novelty is a big part of awe. Visit somewhere in your town or your continent or city you’ve never been. Try something new. Read about someone you don’t know much about, or a biography of someone who inspires you. Go see that chick in Spain on that Island..........

    You spent a freezing cold sunrise with me in Poland on 7/4/19.
    Sean Waters likes this.
  8. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Research shows that people consistently rank nature as one of the top ways that they experience awe. Try getting to a place where you can get a vast view of your environment (such as climbing a mountain or even getting to the top floor a high building). Or just take a walk in whatever nature is around you and try looking for something you’ve never seen before.............I like seeing new people in Nature to be Awed.
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  9. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    AWE is a parachute for thinking. It allows us to finally have an open mind.

    Part of the experience of awe is that feeling of smallness that causes you to rescale yourself — or see yourself in a different light.

    This causes us to choose and act in new ways........
  10. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    If you want to experience awe with your new lady in Spain take her on a first date to the Cirque du Soleil. This entertainment performance group brings awe to audiences and this is why they are successful. If you observe how the company’s live performances elicit awe you'll begin to understand why these shows change brain activity in audiences. This group is studying these effects of AWE and their initial findings suggest when people report experiencing awe mapped to changes in patterns of brain activity linked to being more willing to take risks and being more comfortable with uncertainty.

    That is when people begin to resonate with my messages..........risks and uncertainty build chaos and open us up by making us small and powerful.

    This is how Black Swans are built.
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  11. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    5G Canary likes this.
  12. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    Jack, I enjoyed all inspiring ten messages... the one at 3:33 resonates the most with me!

    Sean, I hope your friend saw the sun this weekend at the water. Your are a great friends... hoping his eyes opened through yours!
    Sean Waters likes this.
  13. Jack your Ten (One Zero..) responses, Comment 601 to 610... are duly noted. I would reply to each, but I think I'd rather continue this Awe with my Revelations this weekend in the Lake District.

    Things got even weirder this weekend, Jack you are going to be in Awe of this. Especially as this will resonate with you personally.......

    So, after Friday writing that post, I got home and packed for the Lake District... remember my Friend, Cocaine addicted one I spoke about to you in Poland @ the Sunrise on the 3rd July... you told me to take him into the Water, like you did... and Go All In if I really cared about him, or Sever my Arm off...

    Well, I did just that this weekend... suffice to say, I have returned after Swimming in Lakes and walking the Mountains, and one would expect my Redox to be through the roof with such low EMF and doing regular CT in the Lakes......... Right???????

    But, I am absolutely exhausted. My mental energy hit a new low. My Gut is in disarray this morning. My throat was swollen all weekend... Why?

    My Friend was absolutely, utterly toxic to me. What you said about "50% of those who save others from drowning, die themselves in the process"... I think this nearly happened this weekend.

    22 years of Friendship. We spoke honestly of his addiction, and his issue... I told him, "I am using every inch of my power to get out of that which is killing me, this Lake of Tar that is pulling me under... and you are Swan-Diving into it, actively trying to self-destruct and kill yourself..."

    He said "You're right. I can't say anything to that."

    He'd just told me that since his new Office Job in June, he's now taking Cocaine every other day, and using Xanax daily to get to sleep. He says he feels 75% the next day, but he can't go without it for more than 2 days now.

    Despite me presenting the Dopamine case... connecting his over-eating/ sugar addiction as a child to technology, showing how we both got sick from Gaming/ Living indoors, explaining how things have gotten worse from his Office due to Blue Light... EMF... every example, every possible angle I could've presented to him that his environment was the issue...

    I told him to come with me, in November, quit everthing and come travelling... But, he said he would hate it, and that he thinks getting further with his Job and making more Money is the goal... he wants to start letting out properties, and thinks that will be his solution.

    I lost my head... I told him "how can you expect to make it 5 years when you are using Cocaine every other fucking day? when you are addicted to Bodybuilding every day, twice a day... YOU BURY YOUR MITOCHONDRIA IN YOUR MUSCLES, AWAY FROM YOUR HEART AND BRAIN........ AND YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK"

    I was exhausted....... my throat was sore, my head throbbed.......

    He kept stating that his problem was with himself, and that it wasn't the environment, and that he just needed to learn to control it himself. Moving isn't the answer for him.

    And then, I realised........ I'm sinking myself, and I need to begin my Swim back to shore, to safety....... Then, I started to feel really sick of him... I felt absolutely repugnant of his presence the rest of the trip. His arrogance, ignorance and egotism made me want to smash his head off the Car steering wheel. I couldn't wait to get away from him.

    All Day Sunday, and today, I've felt Irritated, Inflamed and Sick.... I've had Cognitive and G.I. Symptoms, like I used to get with Crohn's disease........ Nausea, Diarrhoea, Pains........ I got home, and lit a huge Fire for 3 hours and tried to remain calm. I couldn't even speak to my Mother or Sister, toxic in their own right...... I sat in front of the Fire and leaned in close and Sweated for hours until I felt better... I didn't eat All Day... All I wanted was to be rid of this Sickness, this Toxicity.

    I said to myself, that is it... "he was the last Friend I needed to evaluate in my current location... my home town... now I know he has chosen the other path, and doesn't want to be saved...... I can truly move away, sever all ties, with nothing left behind"

    I had high hopes of him making it. But, not one person here is in my Circle of Six. Not one person made the cut. When I leave, I sever my Arm off for all of these "Friends".

    There won't be any part of me wondering If I need to leave once I'm out there, and "re-unite" with my old friends... I'm fully, fully done here. Maybe this is why I had to come back last year, because Mother Nature wanted me to learn this lesson.

    It is probably the most Brutal of all the lessons I've learned........ and it is by far the most important.

    But then something else happened as I sat, furious in the Garden........
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  14. I reached into my Bag to get my Journal, and then found a Book that I'd put in there on Friday night to take to the Lakes.

    This Book was one of my Favourite Films as a kid. I think it may have been the First Film I ever saw, age 7 or 8 years old when my Parents didn't know I was awake!

    The Book copy was actually given to me by an Ex-Girlfriend. As a 16 year old - my last few months in school - I dated her. She was reading the copy in the lunch hall, and as her boyfriend I was surprised to see her reading one of my Favourite Films........ I shouted over "How do you know about Interview With a Vampire?"... she said, "Have you read the book?", I said no only the movie. She told me I needed to read it.

    We broke up a month or so later. She was very controlling. But then we ended up going back out again in Sep 2014.. she was with me during my Descent into real sickness with Crohn's disease, after 5 years of mild IBS symptoms, the Real Painful Flare Ups began on 14th February 2015.

    Valentine's Day, yep.........

    I had a violent, 8 hour episode, alone in my house, through the night - and that I thought I would die it was so painful.

    We split up again, a few months later, I wanted to transform... I had found Paleo/ Biohacking and I outgrew her Controlling behaviours again. Funny enough, her last name was Frost. I always saw her that as a coincidence, as being with her felt like a Trap. Like my last name, Waters, but unable to flow like Ice. Restricted.

    Anyway - she left me a Copy of this book.............

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  15. After my revelation Friday..... my realisation about Literature, writing etc.

    I was looking for Books in my Wardrobe, something that would entice me. I find this Book, and for some reason I popped it in my bag. I didn't look at it til Sunday night, when I was raging.......

    So I started.........

    The story begins in New Orleans, Louisiana.......... and then I remembered, this Author is connected to Jack, this was told to me in Poland by someone close to him.

    Jack, you are probably shaking your head right now?

    I was absolutely hooked. The initial chapters talk of the main character, Louis, and his struggle to deal with the Death of His Brother.

    He absolutely loved his Brother, who was a Man of God. Louis owned a huge plantation and said he would give anything to his younger brother Paul.... until the Brother, who had said he had a vision from God that he needed to sell all his Land an Plantation to pay for the cause to restore Christianity to the atheist-ridden France of the late 18th century during the revolution......

    Louis, laughs in the face of his brother and his Brother is furious. Later, the Brother falls down the stairs and dies after an argument with Louis.

    Louis is utterly consumed with Guilt. And believes he is responsible for the Death. He sees how he was so Egotistical to laugh in the face of his Brother's request. Utter refusal to accept that his own Brother could have had such visions.... "not my brother... he could never be a Saint".

    Louis then transitions into a Vampire, and is utterly disgusted at the Ego of his maker, Lestat... He cannot understand, and is repulsed by, how little attention he pays to the amazing sensory reality of becoming a Vampire.

    Simply, Louis has transformed - become AWAKE to the UNIVERSE... and so far, he is increasingly frustrated with those who cannot see it either.

    I haven't got any further than the first 50 pages...... But I am absolutely hooked so far.

    This Book has so many links back to my childhood, where I would pretend to be Louis, playing Vampire games... it links to 10 years ago, the first time I was dating the girl who was reading this book... then leaving school, turning away from English Literature... then it links back to her again, on Valentine's Day, a violent transformation on a day of Lust an Love, where I was never able to see the World in the same way........ and now after a Decade... it links to Jack, and to New Orleans... it links to this resentment of Egotistical People and Their Ignorance, such as my Mother, Sister, Brother and Best Friends.... and it links entirely to my own Awakening and Transformation....

    Louis is a metaphor, a polar-Metaphor to my own Life.......... the Sun can kill him, and he lives at night....

    These revelations are Awesome... and I feel so much Awe to be experiencing them... Like a Vampire to Blood, I can't help but want more.........
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2019
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  16. And just to add........... The Girl I met in Mallorca is from Canada... she lives in Montreal.............. I'd to love Fly Out to her but my Redox and Finances can't take it right now.

    But luckily, she loves Cenotes and Mexico........ so we are planning Christmas and New Years together in either Mexico, Columbia or somewhere in Central/South America............ the Cirque Du Soleil plays in the Riviera Maya....... maybe we could stop by there over Christmas?
    Phosphene likes this.
  17. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    I think cutting dead weight is among the best lessons we learn..........now will you follow through?
    drezy likes this.
  18. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Louis and Lestat too interesting energy vampires..........I knew both well in real life.
    drezy likes this.
  19. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    The book was written in the 60-s and 70's..........but Anne made sure she collected real-life energy vampires in the late 1980s and early 1990s to inspire her to further literary greatness. Often her inspiration leads others to their desperation. And others created their greatest songs ever........

    Learning how to deal with the waves of relentless chaos can be good for others and detrimental to others.........it also breeds creativity because of how chaos alters dopamine.

    Relentless chaos can be useful to the wise. With chaos, you learn that health is the slowest form of death we create..........

    Control is wave.....is your life controlled? Are you being controlled? When you respond are you in control or uncontrolled? The chaos comes to us in waves of control. 'EXTRA'ordinary change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't. The chaos of control should be embraced fully. This is why life has to be PLAYED OUT and lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat that chaos brings us in waves. Life is not designed to please us. We need to create that pleasing by controlling our choices of which waves we ride and which one crash into us. Most of us have lost touch with chaos and how it sculpts us. Chaotic Ideas that require people to reorganize their picture of the world provoke hostility, instability, and open our minds to changing what we've accepted in our lives.

    What others call chaos are just patterns we haven’t recognized fully. What we call random are just patterns we can't decipher.......yet. The wisest, however, remain undeterred and continue to surf the waves of chaos to cipher those answers that elude us. (link: ) youtube.com/watch?v=KAM1wy…
    Phosphene likes this.
  20. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Waves are the voices of tides. Tides are life. They bring new food for shore creatures and take ships out to sea. They are the ocean's pulse and our own heartbeat.
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