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RMW's Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by RMW, Sep 23, 2019.

  1. RMW

    RMW New Member

    A lot is to be updated but I've had a long week on the tech and I'm feeling the effects. My video editing is now my major source of suffering (and not the good kind). Using a MacBook to edit my videos and I've long been aware of what a shit idea this is. That changes today but for now I'm going to limit my forum use, I like the accountability it's providing me for the CT, it's great but I should also just be doing it for me and not have to rely on being able to update a bloody journal to provide me with motivation so in that respect it's a bit of a double edged sword.

    Doing CT only to then update the fact I've done it on a fucking MacBook just makes no sense and my decision making hasn't been good this past 48 hours. I can only put that down to having been editing all this week. I've found an app I can use on my phone which does the job quite well- not as time efficient as the MacBook obviously but it can be used with a red screen, on airplane mode and OUTSIDE. Video editing takes up near enough all of my tech use and so to be quite frank I see no good reason I shouldn't be able to have zero phone/laptop exposure to RF for at least 3/4 days at a time with this new arrangement and thus less time spent on the forum.

    Winter is approaching in the UK and shit's getting legit. I need to start taking this very seriously, business is as of now going well but that's not good enough. It needs to be going great. I missed a day of CT yesterday for the first time yet in order to spend time with friends who all but reinforced the fact that they're not good for me just seeing how they behave... I regretted the decision. I wouldn't have made this error if my dopamine was as the start of the week.

    Not going to lie I'm actually scared of what might be in store for me this Winter if I have to stick around in the UK... I'm okay with being scared about it but I'm not okay if I don't do every single thing I can to make it work.
    Sean Waters likes this.
  2. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    It is absolutely mint mate, she's sacrificing her time and money to come and stay in the Midlands at the end of October... What a poor girl! Sounds like she's all in for you.......

    Are you going all in for yourself too?

    Whatever you need to do, to feel a million dollars, and enjoy every second, make it happen. If that means CT before she is even awake, so be it.

    Take her to the Sunrise. Anywhere you could make it special?

    You got your answer if she is reluctant to engage... but that would be incongruent to her current position in the deal... she's already give a big commitment hint. She sees something in you in her future, she wants it.

    If you go half-hearted at any stage, you're telegraphing your intentions and you are manifesting a half-hearted reality.

    I just spent a massive whack of cash on a place for me and my girl at Christmas, just for 3 nights. That's a risk to me, as I only have a certain amount of cash to last in Mexico for a long term move. She was floored. I refused to settle for a C or D, when an A was available. Now those 3 nights will be in a perfect environment, with privacy, and luxury. It will be unforgettable.

    But, would I have done that if she hadn't sent me that Book that she laboriously spent months annotating and filling with poems?... that made me feel the same way for 8 nights as I read it at every given moment, extremely special.

    Going the extra mile is a black swan move... it is what sets you apart from the rest.
  3. RMW

    RMW New Member

    YES GEEZ haha I rate that move so highly, not as much as she does though I'm sure!


    And the answer to this one is a resounding no for the past 4/5 days.

    Update: I fell off my rhythm, was doing CT intermittently and ate shit food. As a result I felt worse then the problem compounded. I was panicking thinking "right I'll line up a 3/4 week trip to Tenerife" which in fairness is a very realistic option as in light of this shit redox- business has been going well and I'm in a position now where I have the chance to operate remotely on a short-term basis.
    But I had to have an honest chat with myself and think actually that's all well and good but it's still a pussy move to not do everything I can during this Winter.
    I did what I always do- threw in the towel and looked for a short-cut. No, I'm not having it.

    I hit up the tub this morning 51.2F for 1 hour. The longest I've been in that tub by a long stretch just to let Winter know I'm here and I'll scrap you for this redox with everything I've got mate.

    Fell off the ball... Disappointing yes. But I've learnt from it and recognise my failures. This is my problem and it would've been a fairytale to just step up on the fist attempt to really dig deep doing the things I don't like, but life doesn't work like that.

    My mission is to stop running away with shit gets tough. Funny because my old man always used to say when I was little "when the going gets tough, the tough get going".

    I didn't get going, I got beat down. But now I'm back up, put in a strong PB this morning with CT and I know that's not good enough. What separates the tough is consistency, doing this and digging deep every. Single. Day. I won't forget that.

    CT now is an absolute obligatory that it gets done in the morning, if that means waking up at 4:15am then that's cool. It might mean not being in the tub for 45/1Hr but that's also cool- I'll save that for the days I'm at home off but consistency is what I'm after, not just a one off.

    When I get it done in the morning without fail I own the day- as I am right now. If I fail then I start the day on a failure and it shows in my performance and productivity.

    What is good though is less time being spent on the laptop is a god send- my new means of editing in unreal. I'm still planning a trip back over to Tenerife for 3/4 weeks in December/January to charge up my electric current but until I get on that flight and as soon as I get back I'm fighting this Winter with everything.
    Sean Waters likes this.
  4. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    Class CT scores... you are doing more than me! I did 45 mins in 51.1 F on Saturday.

    How did things go with the girl? Are you going to pursue it? Do you think she will be adopting red glasses and sunrises?

    Need to see you before I go mate. Only here another 3 weekends!
  5. RMW

    RMW New Member

    I've drawn the same conclusion as you that it absolutely needs to get done in the morning haha learnt the hard way but learnt nonetheless.

    CT update: I'll rise at 4:15 and use candle light to get a 28-30 minute ice bath in the morning done on my filming days. Not an ideal situation but I feel way better and kick ass so long as I get it done in the morning first thing. Days off ie: when I'm not filming I'm hitting the tub for 45mins-1hr this works well for me I get to it straight after walking the dog for sunrise and post getting a morning chill too so it fires me up good and proper. My new "thing" is walking the dog barefoot on the frosty grass... This absolutely fucking kills and I need to take my flip-flops for the walk back (for now anyway); the pain is colossal on my feet it literally feels like nails are penetrating the soles of my feet to the soul of my nervous system. WAY harder than CT but it's incredible. I'm outside filming and wear a t-shirt all day which is good too so filming days I actually feel better redox wise even with the sub-optimal morning routine and less time spent in the cold tub.

    Obviously grounding is a regular practise but I never did it in the winter months due to being a pussy as for the above reasons ^ it's torture. I need to check out some threads on this as having the feet freezing combined with the earths magnetism must amplify the effects, without reading further my suspicion is heat shrinking the mitochondria allowing ECT to flow more efficiently from the earths magnetism directly to the foot/feet. I've noticed my feet go really soft and smooth as a result too and a very minor but still present case of athletes foot I had literally got zapped in 2 days.

    In fairness she embraced my lifestyle in Tenerife and actually hit up sunrise with me everyday out there and she rates it so won't be a problem over here! She wears contacts though and I tried to get her to take them off- not in a forceful way but in a "see how you feel at sunrise without them" but to no avail haha. Long-term I'd have to chat to you properly but if I'm honest I'm obviously looking forward to her coming over but... Am I all in? I really don't know man, my mindset is so self-absorbed as of right now and given I don't know quite where my future lies both in my location and my business like I don't know if I can afford to have anyone else in my life. Not until I know I'm absolutely bulletproof, I have so much work to do on myself right now and for the foreseeable so do I want to also work on someone else too? I don't know...

    Mate literally pick the day, I don't do any filming on Sundays if that's any good to you? I can snag my brother's car on Sundays too so I can head up to yours if you like or vice versa, just pick a day! Also you'll love this:

    SO 2 DAYS AGO.... Monday, 28/10/19.

    I had a sort of feeling this day was significant, all day and even the night before and honestly I didn't know why. I mean I had my suspicions because as documented I fell off the wagon and I was prepping mentally the night before about hitting up the 1 hour ice bath in the morning. Which I smashed post barefoot dog walk. But then it was a normal day, well a good day actually- editing outside; the sun was out too (not very strong obvs) but the sky was blue and it felt good.

    Whipped up an unreal wild salmon curry around 4pm which I hadn't had in so long due to my financial shortcomings but I was finally able to pay myself haha so life is sweet right!? Lights-out at 5:15pm upstairs cracking on with the final few chapters of "How to Teach Quantum Physics to Your Dog" shout out Chad Orzel I've since finished the book it was a good'un for a newbie (just started Going Somewhere now and I'm buzzing).

    So I read for maybe a couple hours (I'm asleep so early due to the darkness but also my 4:15 rise) and my eyes are just shutting. When I remember what Sean mentioned to me a while back when he fell asleep after reading a book on oxygen only to find the following day that had he of read 2 more pages then he would've found the most mind-blowing info out regarding oxygen but didn't get to as he got bored/tired as we do. I was about to put the book down before this popped into my head so I thought "just a couple more pages" and bang. I get to p.178 which is page 2 of John Bell's theorem to distinguish between quantum theory and that of local hidden variable models. And the author talks about an experiment with polarizers and photon detectors that register either a "1" or a "0" depending on whether the photon makes it through the polarizer or not...

    That was it man I was stopped in my tracks- I've heard Sean talk about the theory of information before and found it wildly interesting; not enough to do my own research apparently in my previous mindset even though I actually didn't understand a fucking thing he spoke of about it, I was just fascinated. And I don't even know if this relates to the information theory yet or not- to be honest I still didn't grasp the idea of LHV and Bell's theory very thoroughly as I need to do more learning but I sat back in my bed and just thought "fuck" because what did I realise in that moment? The date: 28/10/19 : 2+8 / 10 / 1+9 : 10/10/10. I had and still have absolutely no idea about the significance of this but in that moment I felt genuine awe.

    Monday was a good day.

    In not-so-good news however the video platform I've been uploading/earning from payed out today and I've realised how much commission it takes from me. The answer is a hell of a lot, nearly fucking 30%. This has put my recharge trip to Tenerife in December now in jeopardy and a less financially affluent situation when my German girl visits next week.
    Not gunna lie this one stings a lot, but if I can take the cold, sharp stings of a barefoot walk in the frost, then I can take this. We just move forward, one step after another and we keep going no matter how unbearable it seems.
    Phosphene and Sean Waters like this.
  6. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    Got a lot to say to this but first of all I think the way you are writing, your attitude, everything is beaming with Light... I'm picking it up all the way over here. Noticeable difference, not just in the content of what you say but how you are saying things. That's a perspective you may not see yourself, you might see a lack of athletes foot and an improved tolerance to alcohol or winter, but you may not see your own aura change...... and it is so valuable to know, for your confidence in your transformation... it's really good to know you are visibly progressing to others.... it's good to know you are doing good.

    Remember I said to you last year... I'd love to know, if Redox = Reality, then what would 18 months of CT have done for @Jack Kruse back in 2003?

    Not just weight loss or better mentality. But what was he able to manifest in terms of a reality, with his new magnetic flux in his mitochondria (the better ECT, as you said)?

    You've now got more Money coming in. A better deal with your business partner. A girl that wants you, that you are choosing to be in your life or not. An ability to read and attack problems that you didn't have before.... what's that, 4 weeks?

    Love how you are taking the CT and grounding and taking it to higher levels, without prompt. Choosing your own definition of chaos, of what you can and cannot tolerate. Without others deciding. Again - BIG WIN!!

    Phosphene likes this.
  7. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    Oh jesus christ it's started for you now too.

    Honestly, I've spoke with @5G Canary at length about this.

    The book & documentary for the One Zero stuff:
    1. Light in Shaping Life by Van Wijk (biophysics textbook, will take you time to digest, took me several years to really read and get what it meant)
    2. Body Electric by Robert O'Becker
    3. This documentary on Turing:

    All three are coupled, because of what Turing said in this paper, about Morphogenesis. As in, how does the growing baby cells know.... what shape to be in?.... the paper, The Chemical Basis of Morphogenesis:

    The idea was that it was a field, a morphogenetic field. That all life possesses.

    If you think of it... that's why although some people have big noses, like me, they aren't longer than your arm are they?... everything has a boundary as such, even in regeneration and healing (Body Electric book - Marino's mentor, Dr Becker)

    This Field is Light. Light is a Field. An Electromagnetic Field. This is why the book is called Light in Shaping Life.

    Turing wrote a paper back in 1952 on the mathematics of it. No idea wtf the formulas mean, but the documentary gives a good description of it... and then Jack's post below, gives an even better description of it.

    Jack laid out some utterly insane connections here in this post:

    Chaos and Order...... get your Diving gear on.
    Phosphene likes this.
  8. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    Phosphene likes this.
  9. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    Hmmmm....look at the time posted! Just saying....;)

    Sean Waters, RMW and Phosphene like this.
  10. RMW

    RMW New Member

    Whaaaaat the actual fuck that's madness!! It says 3:10pm on mine so there's no way I could've known your time difference. That's just blew my mind yet again.
    Sean Waters likes this.
  11. RMW

    RMW New Member

    That's powerful shit geez, thank you and correct I didn't notice it haha but It does seem more apparent now.

    I'm all over the information theory reading list- one thing I appreciate the most is how much reading I'm getting through right now and I understand that it's okay not to understand everything now, whereas before I'd just bin it off. I've looked at this like learning a language, you just surround yourself with it, dive into it and eventually you pick up a bit more, then a bit more and more. It's actually made me want to improve my English speaking skills more than anything!
    I now highlight every word I don't understand along with key lines I rate of course. I'm going to compile all these words into my own little vocab book of English and endeavour just to learn/repeat one single word per day.

    What a G

    Hope everyone has a sick weekend, I got some work to do x
    Sean Waters likes this.
  12. RMW

    RMW New Member

    So things had been going very well, everything from business, redox, CT and additional learning wise apart from the whack I took from the video platform taking 30% of my earnings- but that was my own fault for not doing the necessary checking and then pricing accordingly, which I have since done. However it did in the moment get me thinking differently, I've had several ideas since and the financial shortcoming of losing that 30% felt like a kindle to ignite that passage of thinking. Nothing acted on as of yet (apart from the price change on the video platform) but I feel it's imminent.

    "Had been going well" being in the past tense because on the 7th November I had my German lady visiting from Tenerife- I had gotten my shit in line beforehand as to be ahead with my video stuff and picked her up from Heathrow. Of course I was mega excited to see her even though my budget for her visit had been lessened; she's a real understanding soul and gets I'm not a "wine and dine" kinda guy. Was amazing to see her and my dopamine instantly shot up...

    But after 4 nights staying, I set my alarm every day for CT and I never did it once. I ate heavy carbs for all that time. I didn't read a single page from the book I was reading ie: NO additional learning. I did still have a couple things I needed to tidy up work related during her stay which I didn't get done. And I even went out on the beers which I don't particularly enjoy and didn't have the money to do so... AND I missed sunrise not once but twice. So why the fuck did I do it!?

    I was really down by the end of the week and she was asking what was wrong with me; I tried to explain EMF's and my normal protocols in more detail than I had done before but she's quite closed minded although she's come very far out of plato's cave since meeting me, not through any force on my end but just from curiosity at hers which I actually think is amazing. But there's being open minded.... And there's the EMF/blue light avoiding, blue blocker wearing, cold tub submerging, bare foot dog walking, no jacket wearing, universe attentive person who I am and who most are on this forum. It's a different kettle of fish.

    I realised when I was with her in Tenerife I would've been absolutely fine with all of the normal activities we did but it really was a realisation for me seeing how much I've changed since I've come back. I'm not cool with that anymore whatsoever and I when she left I even took a day off afterwards because I was in such a defeatist mentality and my redox was shot. I hate that.

    I hated myself. I hated what I had turned into; or rather what I had turned back into. It's not me anymore and I wasn't sure if I resented myself for not having the robustness to keep on top of all my daily protocols around her or if it was just that she wasn't conducive to me being the man I want to be; a fucking beast, a warrior.

    I'm still not 100% sure on the answer to that question- I think it's the latter. What's worse yet is that I haven't told her any of this, I've made the excuse in my head that she has exams in January and I don't want to lay it on her so strong like that at a moment where she needs to get her head down and study.. I don't know.

    I don't think that's right though so as I'm gearing up to arrange a phonecall with her she says how she spent the day researching EMF's and even came across Jack Kruse's work... I never even mentioned Kruse to her before. Fuck sake, I'm obviously happy for anyone to be doing research in this area but that really did emotionally stump me.

    She speaks 3 languages, is about to finish a degree in Language, Economics and Communications, holds down 2 jobs while she's studying and has done all this while almost full time wearing contact lenses her entire adult life, she's 25 now. What could this level of academia and productivity achieve if she didn't wear the contact lenses!? If she did get sunrise every day without fail, if she all the protocols... Like she must have a massive great potential and even what's more impressive than all of this is within the space of about 3 months now being with me; how much her mind has opened!

    It's easy to forget the series of events that lead me to being on board with all the protocols that I am now and she's managed to already start researching EMF's in 3 months like that's pretty fucking amazing. She's commanded my respect because of it... However the fact still remains that since she left:

    I've hit up the cold tub again every single day; in fact this morning I had a PB of 46.2F for 35 minutes, I've gone colder as I'm pressed for time in my early mornings and decided to get the temperature lower. I finished the rest of "Going Somewhere" by Andrew Marino, fucking mint book and I've already put a dent in the Body Electric.

    I'm feeling good again, redox is back, diet on check, I feel more cold adapted than I was before and my mentality is back into warrior mode. I like myself again.

    Obviously this is a serious conversation I need to have with her.
  13. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)

    Is emotional stumping one of those weird British things? :D

    Her curiosity and brain sound promising to me...
  14. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    Why do you think it is the latter? What about if it is you that is responsible?

    Can you only be you when you are with you, or can you be you when you are with others?

    That's an important distinction.

    I thought this on Saturday mate, but she actually sounds quite committed and hard-working. Three languages, a degree.... and she's German, that says it all. God they love efficiency.

    So is it really her fault that you never kept your hands on the wheel?

    What really stopped you from doing those things?

    Regarding CT - I used to hit the ice bath before bed when I was with my ex-missus and then we'd almost always end up fucking each others brains out. I became more magnetic, she could never say No! Even though I was freezing cold. But it was always, always the best sex we had... weren't long before she was telling me to get in the ice bath... and I felt as if I'd let her down if I didn't, so it constantly put pressure on me to do it.

    Using this framework ^^ could spin your situation on its head.
    RMW, Inger and Phosphene like this.
  15. Sean Waters

    Sean Waters New Member

    Also...... major respect for coming to see me on Saturday and raising my Game.

    I was slacking and losing ground, and you really brought me up. Thank you!

    You looked and felt like, an entirely different person. Completely grounded, measured, and confident in your own power. It was elevating to witness... the difference in just a few months is incredible.
    RMW, Inger, Phosphene and 1 other person like this.
  16. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    “You looked and felt like, an entirely different person. Completely grounded, measured, and confident in your own power. It was elevating to witness... the difference in just a few months is incredible.”.....I love to hear this Robin and Sean’s 10:01 post time....I am guessing the Universe agrees!
    Phosphene likes this.
  17. Inger

    Inger Silver

    awesome answer, just what I thought too!
    Just be yourself - always! :)
    Sean Waters likes this.
  18. RMW

    RMW New Member

    This I what I'm still trying to work out man I would under normal circumstance say it's me without a doubt but from what I now know about friends and the circle of 6... I'm just not sure. What if it's those who are closest to you who are robbing you of that energy. Or what if I'm just not resilient enough to fuck around with other people yet? I'm not sure but I have a strong feeling that Don Senior Universe will point this out to me in the very near future.

    Was an honour geez.

    I've almost stopped being surprised at this 1 0 business haha madness.

    Unapologetically British haha and yes same here at the beginning it was frustrating but now her curiosity has even become curious to me.

    Can't argue with that in the slightest!

    Next entry seems insignificant but my mum was in a book shop only the other day and asked if I wanted anything. I asked if she could pick me up a dictionary as the long monotonous process of highlighting, writing down and looking up the definition and pronunciation of words I don't know while I'm reading I thought I could mitigate easily with the ol' faithful English Oxford dictionary.

    On the same day she picked me one up I actually realised how many of the words I could recall by memory that I'd hand written and researched using that (what I thought) frivolous and time consuming method. It was the annoyance and small scale chaos of research that allowed me to remember these words so well and yesterday I actually dropped "vanguard" into conversation which previously wasn't in my vocabulary. No one else in the conversation realised what a small scale victory I had just accomplished obviously but it felt mint haha. Also "frivolous" wasn't in my vocab before either ;).

    Needless to say I won't be using the dictionary during my reading.
    Sean Waters likes this.
  19. RMW

    RMW New Member

    These past few weeks have been chaos. Most of which I've chosen however I'm getting very mixed signals from the universe as to what path of order to trust (ie: what decision to make) following it all.

    I do trust nature though, so off I go to Wales this weekend to stay in the forest and swim in the freezing cold mountainous lakes.

    It's not exactly 28th latitude Tenerife but I'm sure it's all the dopamine I'll need to upgrade my critical thinking and make sense of it all. Can't wait.
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2019
    Inger likes this.
  20. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Sean knows a lot more about chaos now that he spent ten days with me at the beach..........chaos is the thing that makes you......or breaks you. It comes in waves.

    Your job is knowing how to use that key. Turn it one way it is the key to hell. Turn it the other way and it is the key to heaven.

    I teach people about the act of "turning"

    Ask Sean.
    Pablo, Sean Waters, RMW and 1 other person like this.

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