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Quelsen AKA Jonathan D Goins - two e's no o's

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by quelsen, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. quelsen

    quelsen New Member

    for syncronization





    It has been a while so i think i may re document my journey in breif to see if i glean anything new, i normally abhor discussing the past LOL



    born 1971 to a mother with a serious and undiagnosed metabolic issue.



    Physical trauma from 10 months to 17 years old



    never fed when hungry only fed when it was on the parents schedule.



    Epilepsy, gran mal and petit mal seizures from age 3 to age 6



    overdosed with dilantin and phenobarbital from age 3 to 12



    age 5, self hypnosis to disconnect all emotions. was so successful that i did not feel anything ( outside of physical pain from abuse) for the next 15 years. was not aware of what i had actually done as something harmful for 30 years.



    Taught a restrictive system of spiritual beliefs which encouraged self hatred and depressive thoughts



    ages and weights : 7y, 84lbs; 10y,125lbs; 13y 225lbs; 16y, 275lbs; 18y,310lbs; 26y,365lbs; 37y,395lbs; 38y,475lbs; 39y,502lbs



    18y started living alone, did not have sufficient income to eat more than potatoes and broccoli and ramen for 2 years.



    suicide attempts at 7, 12, 23, and 25. each time some "interference" stopped success.... Hypnotherapy revealed the attempts at age 12 and 23 were "defeated" by extreme purging which i was not aware of.



    22y began following blood type diet saw some benefits but nothing in weight loss

    24-34, became gym rat. max bench 450 max leg press 850 max lat pull 375. no change in body composition



    i currently have 785 miles logged on my mountain bike ( most of it logged in three years), no change in weight or body composition



    34y divorced from abusing wife of 13 years.



    37y sought treatment of naturopath, completed neurocranial restructuring (http://www.drdeanhowell.com/ncr_articles_philosophy_of_ncr.html). slept for 3 weeks, removed need for arch supports, unable to document other benefits



    38y worked with applied kinesiologist and naturopath to diagnose obesity. No success with obesity, some success with general health.

    38y worked with acupuncturist and hypnotherapist and group therapy, altered outlook and reset some meridian systems.

    38y completely rejected all prior religious belief systems and anything associated to those systems. continue to remove any residual trace of old belief systems.



    39y was shown hcg removed 150 lbs in 12 months. stalled there.

    40y started leptin reset and CT and heavy metal purge and hormone therapy.

    Current 40y, completed round 7 of hcg. removed 40 lbs of regained weight.

    41y wondering what is next
     
  2. youthfuliz

    youthfuliz New Member

    Quelsen,



    Sending hugs you way! Your determination will get you through to optimal! I'm cheering for you. When you have time, maybe consider write about how you "altered outlook" when you were 38. Your story will help lots of kids who struggle with hostile social environment. Glad you left the abusive ex and found the current lady. I'm sure you have done a lot of research so maybe you have read these two books ( I found them very enlightening in explaining child psychology, early childhood trauma and healing):



    http://www.amazon.com/General-Theory-Thomas-Lannon-Richard/dp/0375709223/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1343479456&sr=1-1&keywords=a+general+theory+of+love



    http://www.amazon.com/The-Boy-Raised-Psychiatrists-Notebook--What/dp/0465056539/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343479308&sr=8-1&keywords=the+boy+what+was+raised+like+a+dog



    Keep up the good work and keep inspiring us.



    Liz
     
  3. quelsen

    quelsen New Member

    as to changing my outlook. it woudl be difficult indeed to isolate the point of genesis.The facts remain that it was not just one thing but many.



    listed in no particular order.

    Onsite Workshops, Living Centered Program. https://www.onsiteworkshops.com/program/living-centered

    Neuro Lingustic Programming

    Hypnotherapy

    My naturopath

    Several books which made me ask serious questions. ( a conversation with god, Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, How faith works, when anger hurts, what to say when you talk to yourself, Tao te Ching, being nobody going nowhere, The Sorcerer's Crossing: A Woman's Journey, A Course in Miracles)



    Events which changed my outlook on life. Many which are too private to share online however one was a meditation to cut energetic ties with my mother which caused a physical reaction. Right after that meditation my navel began to bleed and stuff came out, stuff that looked like umbilical cord. This happened for 6 months on and off. it has been 2.5 years since anything has happened in my navel, however this was a strong indication of change.
     
  4. MightyAl

    MightyAl New Member

    It is amazing how great life can be once you rid yourself of old demons. After killing the demons and learning how to relate to people my life has become a thousand times better. It has been one of the greatest things that has happened to me and now I can see that a lot of other's problems stems from past unresolved issues. I found that it is like removing a bandaid. You know you need to take it off for the wound to completely heal but it hurts too much when you try. Then after you get the guts to rip it off you realize that it hurt like hell but now you feel so much better.



    I never thought I could feel better about my life until I realize that bringing others happiness fills the void where nothing else will. I think you are on the right path quelson don't give up.
     
  5. janagram

    janagram New Member

    the cutting-energetic-ties meditation completely blew me away! That is deeply soulful work, very rare, very courageous, thank you for sharing it with us. Sending gratitude-blessing....
     
  6. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    Quelsen ur inbox is full....



    you just gotta do it quelsen.... just DO IT!! Okay? Stick the darn fish head in the blender, whirl it with a LOT of lemon at first.... suck it down through a straw and picture your brain healing as you do.... I know you can :cool:



    Use smaller fish if that makes things easier.
     
  7. quelsen

    quelsen New Member


    full, darned small in boxes
     
  8. quelsen

    quelsen New Member

    where did this flu come from?
     
  9. quelsen

    quelsen New Member

    sigh

    30 grams of vitamin c, 100,000 iu of vitamin D and a handful of NAC, MSM, DMSA should speed me to recovery



    i ache and i am tired and did i mention i ache.
     
  10. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

  11. MartiD

    MartiD New Member

    Another good article....thanks for sharing!
     
  12. quelsen

    quelsen New Member

    Thanks for sharing JK.



    I have increased my intake of seafood, I still have room to improve however.



    today's number 333.4



    but i have been ill
     
  13. quelsen

    quelsen New Member

    334.4 today. but thats ok



    today i wore a 20 year old jacket i have not been able to wear in 18 years.





    woot
     
  14. quelsen

    quelsen New Member

    Before 506 pounds

    [​IMG]



    today 334

    [​IMG]
     
  15. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    Wow! Congrats, quelsen! I need to do this sometime for myself..... it's just the other way around!
     
  16. Melinda

    Melinda New Member

    That is a great milestone. Thanks for showing us the amazing change. You are an inspiration for perseverance.
     
  17. Way to go dude! Shows everyone what lots of hard work and perseverance can do. Congrats to you.
     
  18. Destiny

    Destiny New Member

    Amazing, quelsen! Hard work pays off!!
     
  19. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    you are the man........that is all I can say. Im speechless.
     

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