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PaleoCowgirl Battles Hashis, Adrenal Fatigue, PCOS Binge Eating With CT/Keto-Paleo

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by PaleoCowgirl, Jun 18, 2012.

  1. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    I can sense your frustration. I wish I had words of wisdom for you! It is awesome that you ate your BAB (even though you didn't want to!)! This is one of things that helped me. Even when I woke up the day after my all-out-ice cream binge I ate the BAB!!! This is going to come together for you. I can feel it. Get up. Dust off. BAB. Keep following as many rules as you can and it will get easier! *hugs*
  2. colleencoble

    colleencoble New Member

    First off realize that you are not a fat, bloated mess. You are at a more normal weight now. Try to look at yourself realistically. You're beautiful and you don't have to be a bag of bones to be beautiful. Hang in there, Mandie! praying for you today.
  3. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    Hon, get off the scale.... I know it's hard but you gotta do it. Fix the eating not the weight. Fixing the eating means fixing the inflammation/cortisol.
  4. Destiny

    Destiny New Member

    Most of us feel "messed up" on some level, we all have demons to fight. That said, it is always easier to give an advice and to console others.

    This is a journey on which nothing will get fixed immediately. How I wish this were not true!! On this journey it is a step forward, one step back and sometimes two back! I pray for all of us that a bit by bit our journey is successful.
  5. Lyndra

    Lyndra Gold

    All true. I find so much inspiration from reading what you all are going through and relating in my own way. Nobody ever said this would be easy, or if they did, they were wrong. My only goal these days: become a bit more patient with myself and realize that the body heals in its own time.
  6. sweetie, control is the issue. you gotta let go and let god. you have no control. and it's OK. the harder you push that beach ball under the water, the more force it pushes back on you. just let go and buy spanx...that's what i'm doing! LOL and please have fun
  7. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    Boulder lives in spandex. Why did they ever make clothes that do not stretch? Like we're the same every single day. Like we don't got hormones.
  8. PaleoCowgirl

    PaleoCowgirl New Member

    Spanx, hot weather and extra rolls does not equal fun in my book. I wish I was gaining weight in the winter, where I had more layers to cover things up, and I wasn't sweating my butt off all the time. So uncomfortable. My dress for this wedding I'm in in a month is a size 6, and was way too big...but I haven't had it altered yet. I actually don't know what to do because how do I know what size I will be in a month? I guess I better just wait until the last minute to do alterations and see where it goes...

    Is it all really cute little people wearing spandex, showing off their rock hard bods, or what? Maybe I need to go shopping for new clothes that fit. Maybe it will be the confidence booster I need. (I think I own a wardrobe in every size!)

    I'm feeling a little better than I was this morning. I'm cleaning like mad...dusting, vacuuming scrubbing, and drinking water like crazy while spot CT'ing. I need to buck it up and know my friend will love me no matter what my size, my husband thinks I look way better now than before, and no matter how hard I try, it's not healthy for me to be the same size as my friends. I've always, always been the fat girl who made up for it by being smart and driven. I was never the fun girl, or the pretty girl, or the popular girl... In fact, my friend just blogged about 6 of us girls who kind of grew up together, and I got the description of practical, sensible. How fun is that? Well, there I go feeling sorry for myself again. Chin up. There's only one place to go from here, and that's up.
  9. PaleoCowgirl

    PaleoCowgirl New Member

    Question, I have my lab orders for a blood draw for ft3, antibodies and rt3, plus my zrt labs came to test for hormones and cortisol. I don't want to mess them up, and I haven't gone yet because I haven't been eating clean and don't want that to skew my results. I'm thinking of going in tomorrow. I know to fast before the blood draw. Anything I need to keep in mind for the saliva test?
  10. KiwiLauren

    KiwiLauren Gold

    You don't need to get off the scale... you need to pick it up and throw it out the window. Let the cows trample it. Drive a tractor over it. Put it in an outdoor bath to rust and cool the water down. Hang it from a tree and use it for target practice (you could throw zucchini at it). Dig a hole and bury it and let the future bone collectors wonder how humans in 2000 weighed themselves while underground. Get a sledgehammer and whack it (sounds like LHT to me). Just get it OUT of your house, out of your head, out of your life. K? :)
  11. chocolate

    chocolate Silver

    Doesn't your man like soft thighs? You should ask him.
  12. Ok, news flash - YOU ARE THE PRETTY GIRL NOW. Adorable! Believe me, no amount of thin or cool or fun will ever be enough to make up for yesterday. If you want to be different, then be different. Ten years from now, you'll think, geez why didn't I just let it all go and enjoy myself?

    We have so much in common, only I'm a lot further out than you. I always wanted to be skinny and popular and cool. But you know what's not cool, staying home because we feel uncomfortable in our own skin.

    You follow me on pintrest and I saw your boards and thought you have such a unique style and you know what you like and you're fun and bubbly and you have really good taste. Change your mind about yourself, and watch the world reflect it back to you.

    I'm glad you are just going to keep going out. I'm gonna keep wearing a bikini even though my belly is pretty bulgy. I gotta go on vacation with my YOUNGER brothers and their skinny wives and babies. But dang it. I'm going and I'll have fun. When I think about the past, I think I was always so caught up in worrying about what other people were thinking that I never was myself and I never had fun. The true you will come out and shine if you drop the rest. Ok, wow...I need to get off the soapbox already. I think I'm really talking to myself over here. I needed a pep talk...LOL
  13. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    Ha! In CW treatment we all brought our scales, size zero clothes, took hammers to all that stuff, destroyed it, slammed it against cement walls, and cut it up until everything was in pieces. Then we used to pieces to make a collage. LOL.

    It was kinda fun :eek: I still throw stuff occasionally.
  14. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    Saying it is one way to believing it. Your brain works that way. Nifty trick.
  15. PaleoCowgirl

    PaleoCowgirl New Member

    It's amazing the advice I offer to others struggling with the same things as me is stuff I firmly believe will help that person, but in my mind, it's not quite applicable to me yet. I'm still fighting. I really need to just stop and let go.

    I'm in restrict mode, which is just as stupid as binge mode. My husband has no idea what to do with me -- let me eat, stop me from eating, support me, yell at me. Poor guy is so confused.
  16. PaleoCowgirl

    PaleoCowgirl New Member

    Ouch, I stressed my body out last night...we went to the late movie, which totally messed me up on bedtime, and I hadn't eaten since that morning -- stupid. I was so hungry that I came home and ate 2 eggs at midnight. I ended up tossing and turning all night long. Felt a little nauseous eating BAB this morning -- I had steak tips and one egg (I'm really craving eggs lately, and I know it's not AI protocol, but it's good protein -- maybe I need the folic acid or something).

    In my restricted eating yesterday, I realized I need to feed myself, but it doesn't have to be crap. I don't have to become a blog, and I suspect I won't, eating keto paleo, but I've been on such a self-inflicted binge lately I haven't given it a chance.

    Here's to some perspective, a little reality check, a goal of getting my period back and staying off the stupid scale.
  17. PaleoCowgirl

    PaleoCowgirl New Member

  18. If that is you in your avatar you sure as **** aren't fat or ugly. Stop that!

    No really, don't say "I am not XYZ" you're just going to register the XYZ part of it. Make it positive, as in "I am beautiful. I am powerful." which, of course you are. As well as happy, healthy, and perfect JUST AS YOU ARE. Just keep saying it. I have been saying I love and approve of myself over and over for a month now and I am starting to believe it. Silly big brain of ours!
  19. colleencoble

    colleencoble New Member

    Mandie, is this you now? You are still extremely thin. I would say too thin even.
  20. Souldanzer

    Souldanzer Banned

    The more feedback you guys are giving whether or not she is thin or too thin or normal or whatever, the harder it is for PCG to let go of that source of self-worth. You are feeding her ED.


    PCG: I asked everybody to stop commenting on my body while I was recovering. I wanted to find myself and develop my own body image and others had no say in it any longer.

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