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Optimal Rod's Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Optimal Rod, Oct 4, 2014.

  1. Optimal Rod

    Optimal Rod The power of knowledge in play!

    The road to Optimal Rod, the good, bad, and ugly!

    Hello everyone,
    my name is Rod currently 31 and originally from the Bulletproofexec forums. That's how I got into Paleo in the first place by stumbling on Dave's blog back in early 2011. I was led on this mission to fix my ailments that none of my Allopathic doctors could figure out. Though there is a lot of phycological and emotional drama from the past, the physical symptoms started around 2006. I was getting rapid heart beats, anxiety, and brain fog that would be onset. It soon developed right into a pattern that with anything I ate, this would happen and the only way to fix it would be make myself throw up and drink 2L of water and 1-2 cups of SUGAR WATER?!?! Yes, I know, WTF and retarded but I didn't know any better at that time.

    My family insisted that the "balance in my body was off", the Chinese medicine call too much "COLD" now I don't remember the exact term and that sweets or sugar is "WARM" so it will make me feel better. Some how we manged to work with it but in the mean time, on to a few doctors. After nothing was found via blood test, some doctor thought I might have H.pylori because my family had a history of it (Father & Mother). So they hit me with some antibiotics and a PPI (not informing me I should take a pro biotic), you know, standard protocol. Well, this kinda of helped me after one round, some time had passed and it got better. Also note, I got hit with many things during that time, some of which I can't disclose but one major thing is the death of one of my best friends. So that was 2006, after some time like I said, I got better so I didn't think much of it other than I should start look into being more healthy. So, I started doing some searches on the internet but found a lot of websites with different opinions so I was turned off but I did lower soda consumption at that time lol. 2007, symptoms start to come back and I RAN to the doctors and they said "Well, sometimes these things (H.Pylori) come back and you need to double dose etc.. So now I was on some stronger antibiotics and PPI's, all that good stuff for longer. Again, I was a little better after and eventually it went away and I thought I should be cured for good, and WOW THAT SUCKED. Boy, was I wrong, 2008, It came back with a vengeance!

    2008 was a big year for me as it was a big stepping stone in my life, lot's of success and failure that year as I had lost another best friend but gained one. I was becoming more aware of things as I was putting the puzzle together. In 2008 I said I'm not going back to the doctors anymore I am going to be my own doctor! So, I did what anyone at that time would do, google and curezone lolololol. So, I went back to my last reference which was H.Plori and people said that Manuka Honey would kill it. Great, so I sourced the best Manuka honey and started taking it! UMF 20+ and the problem started to slowly decrease like when I was taking the antibiotics, this was awesome! I was my own doctor now...so I thought. This cascaded me on to a full search of, natural remedies and that's when I was spending hours and hours on the computer reading all the good, bad, and ugly.

    2009-2010 I was learning much about the dangers of processed foods and organics but by this time, I had become OCDish and didn't notice at that time I had have very erratic behaviors. Well, I thought that would be normal for someone who just learned that everything they were brought up on and learned was a LIE. 2010 was a big year again for me in many ways, I had encounter another loss but this time it was a relationship which I took really hard. Symptoms still existed at this time and are now creeping up again. So far I keep noticing at this point every year or two I keep getting hit with major stressers. One thing I failed to mention in the beginning was that I was a competitive break dancer who would spend many hours dancing a night, 3-4. I had kind of stopped in 2006, maybe once in a while I would partake but other than that, not focused or able to due to symptoms.

    As we all know, getting a girlfriend can wreck havoc on your weight lol I was in great shape, 6 pack naturally since high school up into 2004-2005 where it was a 4 pack. After some partying and self medicating from issues I had gained about 40l bs. So say in 2010 I was 225lbs or 230lbs with absolutely no working out and eating junk kinda, lot's of food outside (girlfriend) otherwise home cooked meals (high carb, gluten,grains,dairy,meat/fish). By this time I had cut soda and most sugars, crackers, cakes, cookies, etc...
    So that was a little build up to 2010, I started the year fresh with no girlfriend and recognized I had LOST myself. I had learned a lot in break dancing that helped me to get back on the road to feeling and being good, or so I thought. This was, FOUNDATION, go back to the fundamentals just like I did when I was having trouble learning a new move. This was important for me as it was showing me I was able to apply things I was learning in one area of life to another, I was evolving and growing as a person.

    2010's plan was to get back in to shape and start dancing again and that should also fix my ailment because I will be stronger!!!! So I thought...One night on Netflix I watch this film called "FAT SICK NEARLY DEAD" or something like that and these people when on juicing fasts and all that stuff. I thought, BINGO, if these fat guys can loose 200 lbs by drinking juice, I'll do it too, plus I will be dancing so that's my exercise! I went out the next day to get a blender and a juicer and started juicing everything I could. Kale, Spinach, Carrots, Tomatos, Celery, Apples, Bananas, all kinds of CRAP. All unoranic and lot's of FRUIT TOO!!!. It was always a little sweeter than bitter but it looked green or red from the beets so HEALTHY, so I thought.
    I would make 1-2 liters of this a day and was fasting for the first couple weeks or months, I don't remember. I was dancing about 3-4 hours a day with 1-2 days off so about 5 days a week. I saw the weight start to come off and also noticed my hair was falling out LOL, it was already on that path but this time, a little more than normal. I didn't think much of it, what ever, I was back on the road to being a super star and healthy!
    My days were consumed with research, work, and dancing. I was doing nothing else...oh wait, did I mention I was a night owl? Ever since high school I never went to bed on time, I was always up till 4am...well flash forward to 2011. I continued what I was doing until half way of 2011 in which I found Bulletproofexec which rocked my world. FAT? GRASSFED BEEF? LIVER?

    By this time I had stopped the juicing and had just added some juice to my "diet". I was down to about 12% body fat around that time, June. By July I was in ketosis pissing purpler on the ketostick feeling GREAT! I was melting fat right off of me but had noticed my obsession for more and more! In September I had noticed at my competitions I was gassing out very easily and would become severely dehydrated. I'm not even sure I carb back loaded correctly to be fair. I had also noticed many things at that time. For a while I was not happy, I was like a robot, no more zest in life. I was obsessed only talking about health related things and had lost my personality. So, I then realized that I was going into this diet and lifestyle masking thing that are haunting me from my past. I had no clue of what to do....
    One night I was walking up the stairs of the place I train at and ask my friend. Hey, do you see that? those? He didn't know what I was talking about. I said it looks likes snow vision, "I can see little dots everywhere" and if I look at anything with light, I would get this imprint in my visual field for a long time, like 60 seconds. Uh oh, this isn't good...I decided to go to the doctors again to get a check up to see if anything was up. Around that time and I complained of some fatigue along with this visual snow and image retention to my GP. The doctor said, wanna see a Psych? I said, uh, NO? I did quickly mention after that my father has had high ferritin levels and genetically screened for hereditary hemochromatosis which came back negative. The doctor added Ferritin to the standard CBC and Cholesterol panel. Everything came back normal except my Ferritin at 766! I quickly panicked, and went on the internet and turns out that eating lot's of red meat can give you high iron, but wait, I was only on that diet for a few months at that time, there was no way. I was sent to a Hematologist at a Oncology clinic, worst place ever!!!! My blood pressure and resting heart rate was always high when I went to that location. So this is late December, I'm here running more tests, CRP was so low he had to use SED rate. The doctor told me, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you from a hematology standpoint. What do you think caused this increase in Ferritin. It hit me right then and there, THE JUICE!!!! I told him how I was juicing bags and bags of kale and spinach, foods high in iron. He said "hold on" and went back to talk to his "colleagues", I was dieing at this point, thinking DO I HAVE CANCER? AM I GOING TO DIE?, he comes back and says "YEAH!" it had to be the juicing! Just give some blood a few times and you will be all good again. "THANK YOU BABY JESUS" was all that came to mind. I had scheduled to start giving blood ASAP
     
  2. Optimal Rod

    Optimal Rod The power of knowledge in play!

    I start posting in the forums about my symptoms I was having, after a cup of BPC I was getting rappid heart beats and signs of fatigue. My "sleep" hacking I was doing was showing great REM and DEEP via Zeo sleep monitor but waking up not rested. "OH WELL, JUST POUND THE COFFEE AND BUTTER" was my mentality. I was afraid to go back on carbs and was very dogmatic about my lifestyle.
    At this point, people were saying "ADRENAL FATIGUE ALERT", I'm thinking what? So now I am doing these tests at home with my blood pressure and wow, systollic was going down instead of up! I might had adrenal fagitue, DOGMATIC!!! didn't stop me from trying to push hard an dance everyday doing body punishing movements and drinking boatloads of BPC. I mean, I would go to the place that I trained and sat a round for most of the time because I was too taxed to do much. I would do a move and have to wait a bit to recover. I was a zombie at this point just on autopilot.
    Feb 2012 going to give blood all tired and such from continuing my lifestyle unchanged, oh I forgot to mention I just gotten a new girl friend a some months back so add that stress to the pie please. Ok, flash forward, I gave the blood, I feel even weaker, I head home to eat some grass fed beef. I decided to wait about 3 days before I go back and start training.
    Oh, and while I was training at night, I would get these dizzy spells and focus in my eye would go in and out along with the rest of those symptoms so I knew I had to be cautious. I had spent 2 years building myself as a new threat on the dance scene, I can't screw this up!!! more stress...

    The third day I went back to dance and I could barley do any moves and cut it short, came home. The next day I woke up I had some BPC and went to a friend house to help him with his PC. All of the sudden I got hungry, HUH? this doesn't happen to me usually I just had like 1200 calorie BPC. It started to get worse, the hunger, I had to excuse myself and head home to go eat because I can't eat anything else unless i cook it or make or it was BUTTER....(DOGMATIC)
    On my drive back home, my I got hit with this DEEP feeling of hunger and I started to get a pump of Adrenalin, wtf? what's going on right now? It was getting worse and worse, I was going to die. It was so bad I was driving toward on coming traffic just to get home fast. I ran inside and grabbed honey and ate 2 big spoon fulls, I felt a little better but felt like I just went thought some physical trauma with out me even meaning for it. I was so tired that I went to sleep at like 6 pm which NEVER happens. I woke up after 14 hours of sleep dead tired but determined. I knew what happened to me must have been a fluke, so I did as I normally do, wake up, BPC. 3 hours later, same thing happened, and I was out again, SHIT! I drove toward incoming traffic to get home and ran to the honey, now I'm really worried because I am trapped! I can't deter from my diet and I'm getting sick, ok, "let me bio hack this" hur dur...as if I knew anything! Let me increase carbs, so I did. I had some in the morning, lunch, and dinner and nothing happened the next day. I went on again the next day stating that I will have more carbs in the afternoon and evening. It happened, happened again and stronger than ever, this time was different. I felt like I was on some kind of drug, I went to sleep for the day.
    This is the start of the UGLY, March 2012, I woke up un rested before but not like this, it was as if I actually DIDN'T SLEEP. It took me 40 min to shake off the morning wake up deal, WTF, It feels like a part of my brain was missing!!! WTF!!!!!!! Ok, I was scared before but now I ran to my parents, it felt like someone has their hands on my brain literally just keeping it there. I couldn't forecast or do any math like problems, these functions I once had were gone but there were physical symptoms along with the mental.

    I quickly called the hospital and hematologist and told them what's going on. I went to my GP and she said, let's do a CT scan and I said NO! I just gave blood and all this happens, this doesn't make sense, ok let's get you to a PSYCH! "uh, I gotta go, thanks for your time" and I just stormed out. I went to see the hematologist and he ran blood work and said I don't see anything wrong with you, go see your GP.
    DEAD END....or nah?
    At this point I said, well, Adrenal fatigue is in question, lets test!!! I searched until I found Dr.Borkin from SabreScience. Legend in the game and Grandfather of salivary hormone and electrolyte testing and one of the pioneers for bio-identical hormones. By this time I had to go back for a second drawing of blood for Ferritin per instructions of my Hematologist. I thought, maybe my body is reacting to getting rid of the iron or what ever [insert emotional justification]. At this point, I didn't know much about this so I just went with it and took out more blood. I was still having crazy bouts of anxity, brainfog, fatigue, anxiety, racing heart rate all day, ALL NIGHT. I was waking up every 2 hours, I could not sleep, it started to be something out of a horror movie.

    March, I got my results back, Adrenals TRASHED, Cortisol low in the am, DHEA high at night, everything is upside down. I took this result to my GP and said TEST MY HORMONES!!! I had asked before but she said TSH looks good, so NO! Ok, she said I need to make a copy of this and I need to get permission. Comes back, ok great, I got ur appointment for a endocrinologist, in 6 months!!!!!!!

    In my head I said "I'm done with you retards, first you said I am going to have a heart attack in 5 years because my LDL was 140- HDL 110 while your visceral fat is bulging out and now this? I"M DONE!
    Shortly after the hematologist called and said to come in for the next blood draw, confused and all that, I went, maybe this last bit will fix it all. WRONG after the last pint, oh, and I drew 1 pint every 2 weeks meaning 3 pint in 1.5 months. I went home and just existed as I had been wondering if I was gonna get better, symptoms remained but started getting worse. After the third day, I was watching TV with my family and I couldn't understand what was on the TV. I quickly shouted and yelled, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND", I broke down scared as ****, omg what's happening. My family brushed it off, it will go away don't worry. At this time I started sleeping on the couch fixing my sleeping patterns.

    The HORROR:
    I woke up the next morning with my perspective pushed all the way in the back of my brain. I could not think at all and if I did, it was taxing. I screamed for my mother and started telling her I don't understand where I am as if I was on mushrooms or LSD. I didn't know how to use the toilet it was as if my RAM in my brain was broken. I was gone, no really, GONE. I couldn't see, think, hear, anxiety, depression, visual snow, detached from my body as described in NDE with 0 brain function. Something no one can imagine unless you are going though this. I never though something like this was possible. All I did we tell myself to stay calm, I'm going to figure this out, ever since then I just sit and cry all day as I'm locked into some kind of brain and body prison. The only lead, ADRENAL FATIGUE. So, with help of my mom I get a consult with the Adrenal test and I explain everything to the doctor, as he was curious of how and why I know about all these supplements that I take. Later, he explain that my body was showing an immune posture based on the 6 point cortisol DHEA hormone test. "I usually see this with CFS and LYMES patients" but I was soooo gone, all I asked the doctor was get me better, what do I do? this is crazy, get me better.
     
  3. Optimal Rod

    Optimal Rod The power of knowledge in play!

    I got on some bio identical hormones (7keto dhea and pregnenolone with other stuff like herbs and such, good stuff I know that) and electrolyte supplementation and still being tortured for about a month I call back like doc, "how much better am I suppose to be?" I am locked in this. He said it will just be a little bit longer but we don't have a neurotransmitter test to see the other half. OK! I dumped all my money into these super expensive tests and supplements. Now I started to burden my friends and borrowing money for these tests. Ok, great 3 weeks later, I got the results, my neurotransmitters are TRASHED too, little to no dopamine, serotonin, gaba, etc... everything was jacked. Plus, I was having methylation issues, big time. 14 amalgams wasn't helping!!!!
    So the plan was to keep doing the protocol and keep testing every 2 months till everything is balanced out. In this 2 months i was having mental and psychotic breakdowns to where my head felt like concrete and eyeballs moving around on their own. I was just glued to my computer trying to research with brain function less than 5% I started documenting stuff and updating people on the BPE forums. Some people even donated to me which was really cool and I haven't forgot about them and will connect once I get fully healed. I don't forget stuff like that even if my brain did, my heart doesnt! For now, I need to get well so...
    Now, I think all my problem is Adrenal Fatigue and was even going to do a podcast with Dave as a coached client but honestly I couldn't put sentences together at times and didn't want to ruin anything. I should have done it anyway, what ever! So, it's now my birthday in 2012 my resting heart rate is about 110 and so at this point I had never been to the hospital in my life and now I was on my way. Also, ever since that day I woke up like that, I had to wear sunglasses 24/7 as I couldn't handle any light. (currently don't need sunglasses)
    I go to the hospital and see this young guy like, OKAY?, "I'm your doctor and what's the problem?", so I try to explain everything to him and he does an EKG, says my blood test is fine and it was anxiety, put me on Ativan and said to go see my GP. The Ativan in some way helped so here we go, I go to the doctors again and tell them i went to the ER and they said anxiety etc... Now she put me on Klonopins 1mg 2 times a day. I hated it, I has super fatigue and when I took one of those I was dead.

    Now, I had to call Dr.B and let him know I am on Kpins now and I want to get off of them and we need to balance my brain so I can get off this, this is no good. So, long story kinda shorter, a few months passed and I was able to wean off but my symptoms were getting really crazy as if something is trying to kill me from the inside. I mean, I have lived for 30 years, I know the difference between being normal and not. This is crazy!!!! I was really going down a bad road and path and it was pointing me into only one direction and I won't even say it but you can figure it out.

    I email Dr.B again telling him I can't handle it and he actually called and wanted to hear from me. There was a clause he let me know he is in research and can't be my doc but looking at my lab again he said it again " looks like a pattern CFS and LYME". "Please doc, figure out something, i'll do anything, give you what ever you want, just please help" well I ended the phone call. After that it hit me, this isn't just Adrenal fatigue or Brain chemistry messed up, there is something on the hierarchy. I went to look up Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and found it a lot of people have EBV, wait, so I may have that and or Lymes? WTF is Lyme and ticks, I don't see any of that!!!! I'm a city boy...pls....

    I went on youtube and started searching Lyme Disease, and I almost dropped dead, there was this one guy who was explaining the EXACT symptoms VERBATIM! He called it Neuro Lyme which is weird because that is usually late stage from what I understood but I showed the video to my parents and said this is me, while crying because I felt so detached from reality.
     
  4. Optimal Rod

    Optimal Rod The power of knowledge in play!

    At this time my family didn't believe in any kind of alternative or functional medicine it was all bullshit. So 1v4, I basically had to fight for my life against my family because when I went back to get a refill on my benzos they made me go on Prozac or else I would not get any more help from family. Why? Why were they so cold hearted, not their fault. All the could see is a full grown man cry and sob for hours out of the day and to them that was depression. I knew taking those crap pills would make me worse so I would fake it as much as I could. I called one more friend and said I need money for one more doc. I had emailed some Lyme support website and they gave me a list of people near me so wow, someone in a few citys over LLMD who was FUNCTIONAL and INTERGRATIVE. Jackpot, I made an appointment ASAP, I called and said, I think "I'm dying please help I need to see the doc."
    This is where everything changed, I saw the doc and explained eveyrthing as I am right now plus some extra history. I told him who I knew and what I knew and the doctor was blown away about how much I know, he said "Clearly you have a high IQ and are not a typical patient" my mother who had taken me yelled "But doctor, HE HAS DEPRESSION" and he shook his head, "No, listen to him!" At that moment my world changed, I had the support of my family. He said it could be "PANDAS or LYME", he asked to open my mouth and took a step back and said " WOW". 14 Amalgams, 1 Root canal!!! He said the root canal needs to come out ASAP! I drew blood for Igenex Lyme and tested for Beta Strep.
    Results came back Positive from Igenex for Lyme and high Beta Strep, it was a little over 200 so not like killer high like some people in the 1000 but again, I could be sensitive to the actually bio toxins so it's all relative. Soon after that I made an appointment to get the Root canal out and I did, it happened to be infected so, 10+ yrs of hidden chronic infection. I didn't even want to test my Mercury because I knew it had to have been high. I had to wait a few months so I can feel good enough to start getting the Mercury out. At that time I had already been on stuff like, Doxy, Samento, Banderol, Clindamayacin, Zythro. I ended up doing a Zyto ( for free ) and showed lot's of Babesia and all this jazz but who knows. I started reading the works of Dr.klinghardt and IAOMT members, so on and so forth. I was under the impression that I can never get rid of this stuff unless the metals go first so that was next. So, after 6 impossible mission trips, I went to a biological dentist to remove all my Amalgams.

    At this time, I was also working with a very knowledgeable naturopath and I did 2 liver/gallbladder flushes and really rocked my world in a bad way. But was on to something, he said that Ferritin and copper go together so to go and check Copper and Zinc levels and maybe I trashed my Thyroid by drinking all the raw kale and stuff.

    Thyroid looks good except rt3 ratio was not good! But I was producing T3 and T4, lot's of it! He thought my adrenals might be cooked still so, I tried some Hydrocotizone, nope, not any better. I tried some T3 even, nope, nothing! I got my Copper and Zinc levels back and I was defficent in Copper. This might be because I tried to mega dose Zinc to boost test levels.

    The last time I went to see my LLMD I told him that perhaps my higher ferritin 250s was causing inflammation considering that I didn't have enough Copper at the time to make Super Oxide Dismutase. He just told me that I was over looking that if I still felt this bad then he suspects Babesia and that I should look into MMS ( Chlorine Dioxide). So now I am starting protocol 1000 from Jim humbles website and then moved to 1000+ and now I am here. I have stopped the Clo2 treatement for now but there are a lot of questions that I have because I have spent a lot of time cross referencing things but in this case I have a lot to learn too. I don't know what superseeds.

    I didn't intend on providing much information but this isn't about me, it's about others who may be able to connect and from my improvements may bring hope or a solution.


    My Current symptoms: Chronic Major Fatigue, Major Brain fog, Cognitive Dysfunction, Depression, Anxiety, Detachment from reality aka Derelalization, Depersonalization (as if I am not in my own body, when I look at my hands, they don't look like they are mine), Visual Show ( Static vision ), Image retention so if I look at anything white bright light, it will say in my visual field for a few min, uncontrollable emotional rage and hoplessness. Unfortunately I have a lot of crying spells that lasts for hours though out the day. Some of these symptoms may increase or decrease but I have not been able to find a definitive pattern. Hanging on by a thread is an understatement and how I am even alive is a mystery to me. There is so much more to explain but this might be the main stuff.

    I'll be honest with you, I'm not a "normal" guy and not stupid by any means given my ailments. But a lot of my physical and mental capabilities to take control have been stripped. This is a major factor as the worst part of all of it is that I am aware of it. I can't help my environment as much as I would like it too due to family (they are in control of monetary and majority rules) even though I have done a lot etc...often feel check mate. Reading the blog just makes me more depressed and angry which stems from fear because in my case, only so much is practical. I am uspest to have been conditioned in this lifestyle and to be addicted to it and or made mandatory in order to make a living. These are just some of my final real thoughts I am sharing with you and perhaps you can relate.

    I don't know what to do but at the same time, I know what I need to do.

    Thank you for your time,

    Optimal Rod

    P.S Please excuse any spelling, grammar, and sentence structure etc... I forgot almost everything as if my RAM of my brain is gone. Thought I have gotten much better in the past two years, I still feel very far from being not even optimal but just back to functioning again.
     
  5. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Oh my.... Rod.... what a heartbreaking story....... I LOVE how you write... but you made me laugh too, I really love your style :love:

    Just makes me want to drag you here and let you sleep in my horse barn with almost no EMF, feed you oysters day and night... and take you with me out in the woods...........:confused:

    Do you have any friends or relatives that lives away from city, away from celltowers and the like?
    I think you need to come out of the city ASAP
    and get lots and lots of seafood
     
  6. prAna303

    prAna303 New Member

    Welcome.

    Just like Inger said, you make good music with you words...

    Can not help to feel that, reading your timeline, we share the same journey. If i had not made my choices, these years ago i see myself in you. I deeply think we are just the same coin but from different angles and i could be you.

    Hope i can share some thought with you, right now i need to listen to your tune for a bit to even comment it.
     
  7. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    What came to mind: [​IMG]
     
  8. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Rod... you should try high meat / high heart. You know the raw heart I let rot in a glass jar for months. I bet it would help the anxiety and bad moods you experience..... too bad it takes so long before it is ready! But you could start now, and in about 2 months you have medicine to add to the other protocols

    I had to think of you today because I had my first taste of my new high heart. It is not too old, just a few weeks, but I let it stay in room temp for a while so it has fermented faster.
    I had just 2 pieces... and man... I immediately as soon as I had swallowed... i felt the effect........ it truly is magic! Makes you a bit high :) but without any downside! Cool, what!
    Fish head smoothies are a bit like that too... they really help mood. I just had a herring head + herring fish milk and roe smoothie for dinner (had 4 oysters too and some almonds) and man it tasted bad cause it was a few days old but man it made me feel sooo good too.. unbelievable!
    Maybe you could do fish head smoothies, what do you think? It is very easy and simple :)

    If you can get hold on moose or deer heart and eat it raw - it would sure help the mood too. It has helped me. I am not sure whats in it but I can tell it does good. If you could get safe good quality raw brain I would eat that too. I am 100% sure it would help your cognition.

    Maybe you know a hunter? That would be really great!
    and try to get out... do you have a forest close? If you could take a slow walk every day.... to begin with.... try to be as much there as you can. Is there any wild nature around where you live Rod?
     
  9. Optimal Rod

    Optimal Rod The power of knowledge in play!

    Aww, thank you so much Inger, Love you lots! Thank you for the kind words, it means a lot to me. I wish I was in a better position for sure, I mean, I feel like a horse and not a human anyway lol. Maybe I'm Mr.Ed? idk, a barn with no EMF would be like staying in the Playboy Mansion for me. ahahah!

    I don't really have family that doesn't live in the city so it's tough, I did but they moved. I have recently switched from "Grassfed Beef to Atlantic Salmon and Oysters" but it really does get expensive. I am really trapped in many ways as I exhausted a lot of money. I live in the Ventura County area which borders Los Angeles. I am slowly learning more and more and well, I need to close those holes so I can gain the electrons backs.

    I live like 5-10 miles away from cell towers and don't have a Smart meter anymore, I have done a lot to mitigate EMF but not 100%. I need to generate money for a smart shield for my neighbors directly to the left and right of me to mitigate the RF from that. I'm scared to even get within a foot of that thing!

    I'm not opposed to anything really, I just don't want to get even more sick to be honest. I'll eat a smart meter smoothy if it will help me! Honestly, the only thing that is keeping me alive is that I want to help people and my family, looking back, a story can only reveal so much! :love: :love: :love: :love:

    @Jack Kruse , I have come to terms with scale and it's scarry and uncomfortable, I HATE IT! I can't be part of society and do the things I want and love because it will make me sick. It kind of just leaves you in a position to either change you mind and thoughts or suffer and die. There should be a way to bio hack all of this and still be able to do thing you want but I don't know how that will be possible violating circadian law.


    I love you all.
     
  10. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    just saying ...good morning from Oz! How are you today? I am sending you a big bear hug! :)
     
  11. Jude

    Jude Gold

    Quote
    I have come to terms with scale and it's scarry and uncomfortable, I HATE IT! I can't be part of society and do the things I want and love because it will make me sick. It kind of just leaves you in a position to either change you mind and thoughts or suffer and die. There should be a way to bio hack all of this and still be able to do thing you want but I don't know how that will be possible violating circadian law..[/quote]

    Hi Rod and welcome.....the sooooo good thing is ....we all understand, and the truth is that there are actually starfish here who have reverse engineered their health probs...and have their labs to prove it!...........look at JK.......many others have hit an optimal gradient..... and a lot of us are still in the process:) Good luck ....regaining ones health is worth the effort..and it's possible:D
     
    caroline likes this.
  12. nonchalant

    nonchalant Silver

    Cold Thermogenesis might help calm the chaos, Rod. http://jackkruse.com/the-evolution-of-the-leptin-rx/ Perhaps you could consider getting adapted to cold water. The cold lowers inflammation and benefits your mitochondria. It quiets your cells. Might give you some breathing room. You start simply by dunking your face for a short time in ice water.
     
    caroline likes this.
  13. Brother John

    Brother John Silver

    Rod,
    You do have a future and all that you are going through now may actually become an asset for you and others someday. I hope you have taken a very hard look at your carb consumption. It sounds like wayyyy too much!
    Oysters in a big jar at Costco are good and really cheap...
    Couple huge things you can do now: Black out your room and sleep a lot. Blue blocker shades after dark till you get sleep. Get all electronics away from you while you sleep. Drink Good water in mass quantities: Reverse Osmosis water. Some co ops sell it in bulk. Try bare footing in damp grass.
    Best Wishes,
    Brother John
     
  14. Inger

    Inger Silver

    lol....... then you would fit in my horse barn Rod :) :) :) :love:


    Rod do not be scared to give up what you loved.... and what made you ill. Because I promise you, I PROMISE from the deepest of my heart, you will gain something even more beautiful. Something very magic... :) :) :) Do not be scared. We are here for you always. when one door is shut... many moor doors will open.... :love:
     
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  15. prAna303

    prAna303 New Member

    Just like you said, change the world is perhaps not possible but to change yourself is...

    The things you love, i guess, deep down is the natural connection with other humans thru one of the very basic ways to understand the world, dance. Music and dance has been with us for many days and nights, in this modern world it has become an engine to just be entertainment happening 24/7.

    As i read about yourself in your intro, i feel just like myself with the illness i would have gotten if i stayed in the business world, why? Because modern world is slowly killing us, step by step with stealing syndromes. This applies to every level today, not foods only but lifestyle.

    Between the lines i read that you already have the answers, just not the energy to get them to work. I guess you sometimes feel lost, but hey, who does not? Since my early years i had this odd touch to myself, what is the difference between you and me you may ask... I read that you live in the cities, i have lived outside them for many years, now i live nearby. But i escape and break out of it for about six hours each day, more if i sleep in the woods. This makes me loaded with elements of nature so i can survive in the town.

    I read about your dancing and my first advice, get your dancing out into the wild, back to where it came from. Then you can bring it back to town once again.

    You need, just like many others said, to load, transfer and use energy once again. Right now you are in a mode of stealing, stealing and even more stealing. I said in an erlier thread, healing is stealing, but when there is nothing left to steal from? I think we only can push and pull your unit (body and brain) to give you hints about your world, the healing is up to your unit and its working environment...

    What i would start with:

    - How far away is the woods, the sea, the mountains? Get away on a journey, just like in the old days, to find yourself once again.

    - Take as little as possible, do not read up to much about hiking on the internet, it is full of shitty advice necause it is all about comfort here.

    - Reconnect with a group of outsiders... Since you are a physical kind of guy, search for climbers and surfers. This is not just for the activity but for the society and care about each others.

    - The natural things, sun, water, earth, wind... Add on the foods from here, seafoods, good fats, nice water.

    - Simulate nature at home, be careful not to overdo it, the real thing is best. Cold and dark, perhaps a magnetic field to sleep upon but only when dark and cold.

    - If you have a love for computers and techy stuff... Kill that longing with the above, it is a simulation and compared to the real thing, nah... Boring!

    To stand with both feet in nature, slowly peeking into society, taking the good stuff from both worlds makes it wonderful to live. It does not mean that we should move back into caves even if we sometimes need that to reset ourselves, it means that we can make a better future, not just for ourselves but others... But it starts with you and me as single units, the great herd will never do it for us.

    I say, with all your details that has gone wrong you are greatly prepared to become vivid and vibrant, how? It is about getting energy back and switch these errors to futuristic advance.
     
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  16. prAna303

    prAna303 New Member

    Also, some words from a wonderful dancer who said to me something like this.

    - I started dance because i did not find words to describe how i saw the world, how i felt and wanted to describe it. Others can make magic with words both spoken and written, i simply can not.

    In this modern world we have become speakers of words, not speakers of bodies... Here i think you and me are the same, we feel that we do not have the gift of words but instead we move. When everything means words, like in social media, digital contact all days and nights, where do we fit in? To not have the ability to move makes us ill...

    We must be outcasts, weirdos, just simply odd. You must be the one that makes others go, wow. I think you are on the right track.
     
    caroline likes this.
  17. kovita

    kovita Silver

    Rod, your received a lot of great words already. I just can add, I have lyme and it destroyed my whole world initially. It is not just the neverending pains and fears, I changed completely. I was profi athlete before. It is definitely hard to keep on going while anyone else is seeing results but you do not. I am not sure. i will ever get as good as I was before lyme, but I will not give up believing!
     
    caroline likes this.
  18. louise

    louise New Member

    hi rod that is some story ......it feels like you lived your life on fast forward and I even felt my heart beat pick up a bit whilst reading your story
    im very much a beginner here but have managed to conquer panic attacks and strange out of body anxiety many years ago by just slowing my life down--------luckily for me I was in rehab but I learnt meditation and chi energy work
    this site has saved me from another dive into hard drugs because I have discovered what was missing before and that stuff is all here----nature, nature and more nature and just being..........my laptop causes me anxiety ..........
    I have felt fear also from stuff I have read on here but if I stay still then the fear will just get worse

    can you get outside in nature and just sit and look??? for hours and hours maybe everyday????
     
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  19. Optimal Rod

    Optimal Rod The power of knowledge in play!

    @caroline GOOD MORNING :love: I’m sorry it’s a bit late, I have been trying to stay away from the computer and dealing with symptoms. But I do think about your Good mornings, I’m sure they are not for one time only :D. Thanks for the hug, quantum hugs for everyone!!!! I hope you have been well, it’s important to me :love:

    @Jude Thanks for the response, it just seems that I become isolated living this lifestyle, I guess we all are right? hmmm I just don’t know how I will in cooperate it all to some of the things that I love but first things first! Being optimal is amazing I’m sure but just getting to functioning would be amazing! I’m trying to apply everything I have learned so far, it’s too early to tell but just because it’s not manifesting doesn’t mean it’s not working :love: Thanks again!

    @nonchalant Since you recommended it, I been doing two 10min face dunks but I can’t hold my breath so I have a few straws in my mouth and just breath though that and just keep the face in. It does help me kinda for a little bit I just want to get my body ready to cold adapt.

    @Brother John I am willing to do the time, meaning i feel like I am behind some kind of crazy prison if that means I can be here to help my family when they need me. My carbs were higher around 200g because I don’t want to tax my adrenals, I’m scared to go into ketosis. I went to costco and couldn’t find the Oysters in the jar, i was pissed.jpg. I have turned all my money from beef and everything into fish and oysters, shits expensive!!!! I have been wearing orange glasses for like 2 years already but some times not exactly when it gets dark but now I have. I black out my room but still have my PC, TV, laptop etc. I can get into detail of what is on and off in my room. I have been drinking 5L of water a day for a long time, R/O but it wasn’t true R/O. They put cal/mag back in, i got rid of that because I want true R/O. I’ll have to work that out but for now I’m getting it from the Water Machines outside the supermarkets. Going to get a Berky so I can filter out the fluoride then use the R/O in the Berky to get the remaining Fluoride out of that. What do you mean by some “CO OPS” I have since posting, moved my laptop ouside and and sitting int he sun eating oysters with both feet on the concrete, so i’m moving in the right directions. I just need to Schumans and faraday!! Thanks for your coments my dearest Brother John, Quantum hugs bro!

    @Inger I might make a barn in my backyard and call it the Ingerbarn lol I am only scared because I am in a weak place mentally. I mean that sounds weird because one would really have to be strong to deal with my symptoms. I’m sure I can still workout some of the things I love to do when I am better. I accept your PROMISE and I love you for that Inger, Quantum HUGS!!!!! My doors will never be shut for any of you or anyone in general, thank you for being here for me, it’s one of the few things that are keeping me alive and going, thank you from the deepest of my heart!

    @prAna303 I’m determined to change the world but change starts with self I know. I came to this realization for a while so I will first “look at the man in the mirror” RIP Michael Jackson!!:love: I have come to not want to live in the city anymore but on the outskirts. I wish I could dance again, I don’t have much energy at all, i shouldd be bed ridden but a lot of the brain fog and confusion ( too much info coming into my eye for me to process ) keeps me in this state of anxiety because I can’t escape it. I guess I use that to try and function…You are correct that I don’t have enough energy to execute all the things I want to do. I’m not at that level where I can go out anywhere as the level of brain fog and confusion/detachment are pretty great still so I am at the mercy of my parents/family. I can only do what I can which might not be good enough! Thanks for your tips and help, I understand where you are coming from and will implement as soon as i physically and mentally can! :love: Quantum dance and hug!!!!

    @kovita I think lymes is only part of the picture, I have been part of the FB groups to know that they don’t know enough and just bounce from LLMD to LLMD. Lyme also has co-infections that can me 1000x more devastating but I guess it’s all relative, we are all different in our own ways so I should be careful how I word that. It’s just form mown experience, I have tested positive for Lymes but have like 0 symptoms associated. I have 0 pain!!! I won’t stop believe but at times I am too overwhelmed with symptoms to even be able to cope so I just sit in torture and just let it go down. I can say though, one can only take so much! :love: I am sure we will overcome this together :love:

    @louise My story even knocks me to the floor when I read it or think about it. Secondary and triciary stress and depression kicks in. Easy to describe and explain but maybe harder to understand or imagine. I have used Emwave2 for a very long time, but I had stopped using it. I had too much brain fog and was becoming frustrated using it, I still do sometimes but all day long I am rotating all these things that i need to do that just seem too much for me. I’m only on 1mg of clozapam a day split in two. I was on it last year but did some brain balancing and weaned off, then did Lyme treatment and had to get back on it, nowI just have it because I don’t want my levels to drop. Sometimes it helps me but there’s 100 things going on inside so I”m not sure what is helping the most at what time. I need to feel better to be more aware and record. I am getting at least 3-4 hours outside in the sun and feet grounded a day now since my first post. Trying some cold adapting with the face dunks outside and everything. Im even trying to do some cleaning of the garden when the my symptoms will allow me too. I am pushing harder than ever. Thank you for your response, :love:
     
  20. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    all funnels to one thing.......Ca2+ efflux.
     

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