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On the Wagon..Off the Wagon...No More...This Time...Optimal!!!

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by PaulaRichards, Mar 24, 2012.

  1. MamaGrok

    MamaGrok New Member

    I haven't seen any, but there is lots of mine in my MDA journal, linked in my sig.
  2. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    12 days Binge free! Last night wasn't too tough either; Friday & Saturday evenings are usually the worst times for me. Almost as if I associate relaxing with excessive amounts of food (in particular ice cream). I got on the scale today & in 2 weeks I am down 5 lbs & that is not the norm for me and yes I'm happy about it but I am also aware that may not continue at the same rate; at least it never has in the last 12 years or more. I don't have as much energy as I did last weekend but I didn't sleep well last night which rarely happens on the weekend. I look forward to extra sleep on the weekends but I was awake at 6am.

    I've been doing well with breakfast which is normally some type of meat & eggs cooked in lots of CO or lard. Two days ago I wasn't well prepared and only had two eggs and could definitely see the difference during the day; I was hungry! I won't let that happen again. It may not be the best but yesterday & today I added a protein shake to drink with my bacon & eggs and that was 7 hours ago & I'm just starting to feel a bit hungry.

    Went for a 9km walk/hike today & it felt good. I might be eating a little too much for supper but, especially on the weekends I feel it helps be get through the evening without focusing on snacking. That reminds me, I did have a square of 70% dark chocolate but did stop at 1 sqaure!!!

    Looking forward to a good April!
  3. I'm glad you are doing good Paula! :) I also overeat often at dinner to make sure I won't be hungry in the evening...It should get easier as we go on. Today I added more fat and will see if it's going to help. Gonan weight myself tomorrow morining (forgot this morning) and once again at the end of the month and will try to have a perfect April ;)

    Have a nice evening!
  4. Thank's for stopping by!! :)

    What about your journal? No time fot it? How is it going for you? Everything's fine??
  5. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    lol...I'm spending all my spare time reading the blogs and following as much on these forums as I can. Everything is going pretty good though. Still binge free since March 19th! This long weekend might be tough though.
  6. MamaGrok

    MamaGrok New Member

    So glad to hear it.

    Make your plan

    - HUGE freaking breakfast. No skimping on fat or protein. Tomorrow. Sunday. Monday. Tuesday (no matter what happened the other days).

    - Normal lunch, normal dinner. Plan a dessert you can feel comfortable with for Easter and any other relevant meals. Fill some eggs with dried fruit if it makes you feel treated, but not if it will throw you over the edge (you know you best!).

    - Make reasonable rules you can live by even if you fall - no sweets till after eating a full meal, for instance. If the cravings attack you so hard that indulging is inevitable, refuse to eat things you don't love.

    - Bring something that you LOVE, but which is very filling, to the meals you're concerned about. I'd bring homemade (easy!) seasoned jerky ... oh, how I love it! If you find yourself about to do something stupid, or in the middle of doing something stupid, STOP DROP and EAT the jerky. And keep eating it and keep eating it. Better to eat "too much" meat than binge on crap. Far better.

    - Etc. Think about what works for *you*, which may be very different from what works for me.

    And no matter what happens, Tuesday & Wednesday & Thursday, you get up and have a big freakin' breakfast.

    HUGS to you! Thanksgiving was my first ever "successful" (binge-free) holiday. I have been where you are, and soon enough, you will be where I am!!
  7. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    Awesome advice MamaG! It's always great to hear reinforcing advise from someone who "knows" what it's like!

    I have some "somewhat safe treats" treats on standby if those trying moments present themselves! a couple of 90% chocolate bars & a couple pieces of frozen paleo cheesecakes if I absolutely have to have something; perhaps not the best but will keep me from devouring a couple liters of ice cream! That will only be after I eat a pound of turkey!!!
  8. MamaGrok

    MamaGrok New Member

    A pound of turkey plus ... a stick of butter! (turkey is way lean, needs some staying power)
  9. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    OMG...I am SO cranky today...beyond irritable!!! Not in the morning but as the day went on it got worse. I don't know where this is coming from. Well...maybe I'm pissed off I can't binge on crap. But I don't think that's totally it. Arggggg...I have to start tracking daily what and when I am eating. Some days I feel awesome and then this!
  10. DarleenMB

    DarleenMB Silver

    Paula, you may be going through some kind of detox. I kept thinking I had some kind of bug this past week and finally realized (duh) I have been detoxing. I'm now trying to be SURE and drink lots and lots of water. Still feel punk but the headache I woke up with has finally departed. I know I was in a foul mood there for a while too. I sure hope this isn't going to be long lasting!
  11. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    Thanks Darlene! I hope you're right. Detoxing didn't even cross my mind. It's funny you mentioned it but I've been having headaches lately, which is unusual for me. I'll now try to view all this in a more positive way!
  12. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    This reminds me of my conversations with Momagrok over the last yr at MDA. LOL
  13. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    Well I hope I'm as stubborn & as patient as Mamagrok! I'm scared to see what I turn into when I add serious CT to this mess!
  14. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    Well...I don't know what the hell was up with me yesterday either. Not as cranky & irritable as the day before but I was SO damn focused on food! Yes, there were Easter treats around but none of my favorites. Why am I questioning the WHY's??? I was probably thinking about food all day because I didn't have a BAB; didn't even have breakfast. I was cooking a turkey for lunch time with family invited so since I wasn't hungry anyway I stuck to drinking coffee. I ate a huge lunch or turkey thighs & turnip with about 1/3 cup of sweet potato. I'm thinking the sweet potato, in combination with the lack of BAB caused the horrible food cravings. I'm surprised I didn't cave in and eat mega amounts of forbidden food. I had heartburn and wonder if it was the sweet potato or the amount of dark chocolate I ate. I don't consider yesterday a binge but it wasn't a good day with the dark chocolate.

    Oh yeah...damn it...I ate a piece of cheesecake...almost forgot that...f&#@%!!! Oh well...I don't know what that means in terms of a setback but I'm sure there are some implications!!!!!!!!!! I did get up and have a BAB; I didn't feel like eating it but I did!
  15. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    Holy crap! I am sitting here wasting my day-off. DS has friend over & I am sitting here reading journals describing cheats & restarts & am actually using it to rationalize a binge! OMG...this mentality has to stop...I'm almost 3 weeks into this & I'm thinking "well, lots of ppl have had to start again, and again"! Maybe I'll whip up some kind of protein drink with a ridiculous amount of HWC; although I suspect I'll soon discover I can't have dairy & I don't want to acknowledge that one!

    I just have to get through today. I'd go for a walk but after my walk on Friday I was hungry all afternoon and night so exercise is out. I can't deal with cravings and hunger!
  16. I hope you went through the day with no shorty cuts to the fridge! ;) How did it go?

    I totally see what you mean by saying ppl cheating and restarting, and trying to give yourself reason why its not that bad for you as well... But the longer you'll go with no binging on bad stuff, the sooner you'll feel better! I know this is not easy, and once you have that in mind, you can't think of anything else. Whatever happened yesterday, today is a new day, don't beat yourself up if you did anything you regret, just move on. As MamaGrok always says, whatever you do, start the next day with a BAB even if you don't feel like it or you're not hungry. It will help you go through the day and kill all cravings, so you don't indulge again.

    One more thing...if you are hungry...eat! I think you are better to eat the good stuff and adjust your portion at meals the next day to make sure you won't need to snack than obsessing about food all day and fall for bad stuff at night. If you can't totally be optimal but you don't undo all the good you have done to yourself is the last weeks, it's not that bad, no?

    Take care, and have a nice day,

  17. MamaGrok

    MamaGrok New Member

    Wow! Huge victory! You were stupid and still didn't binge! (LOL)

    - Stupid because you didn't have breakfast, ON A HOLIDAY of all things! (I say that with the greatest of love; you know that, right?)

    - Most likely your food obsession was b/c of no BAB, WAY too little fat (turkey, turnip and sweet potato? hope there was a stick of butter in that thing!), and obviously, being surrounded by sweets

    - Despite that, NO BINGE. NO BINGE!!!! How was last year's Easter by comparison?

    - You didn't intend to eat cheesecake, but did. Better than chemical-laden chocolate bunnies & jelly beans.

    I'd count it as a major victory with major learning points (BAB, fat) & a goal for next time (implement the leaning points and by then, probably able to avoid the cheesecake). Be sure not to use how well this time went (by sheer luck) to excuse skipping BAB & fat, and having "just one serving" of a sweet next time, though - seriously, you can't know what will happen ahead of time. I don't think I'll be ready to have "just one serving" or to skip my BAB for at LEAST another year from now.
  18. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    Of course, MamaGrok! I think we all know there's love in your voice when you yell at us! LOL

    The weekend was a learning experience but I'm still not "over it" if that makes any sense! The brain is starting the "what's the point" chatter! Maybe it's taking me a few days to get back on track & get the sugar from the cheesecake out of my system. As much as I had hoped differently, that cheesecake was heaven on the lips!
  19. MamaGrok

    MamaGrok New Member

    Sometimes, especially when the binges were still fresh for me, I'd plan on purpose to have some fruit the day after an "accident," and even less the next day, then none, to taper off the sweetness and have something to shut up the urges. Might be a tool in the bucket for next time.

    Meanwhile, BAB, protein, fat, BAB, protein, fat, do not let up and the "what's the point" should shut up soon. If not, MORE BAB (might increase the protein there for a few days)!
  20. DarleenMB

    DarleenMB Silver

    Let me attest to the power of protein and fat. That urge for sweets has pretty much evaporated. when I EAT (I'm good at the BAB then bad about skipping anything else the rest of the day. BAD DARLEEN!) another meal (and usually one is enough as long as it has enough protein) I'm fine. If I'm a wee bit needy a cup of BPC will fix that. and I'm a pig on that too ... I use 2 oz of good Amish butter. Till i ran out. DARN. Now I'm using some Organic Valley "cultured" butter. It's ok but the Amish stuff is better.

    hang in there! We're all struggling and you have lots of company.

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