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Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Jenny S, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Thinking of you Jenny xo
    Jenny S likes this.
  2. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Nice :) :) :)

    You can always earth your hubby by holding his hand walking barefoot :)
    and even if he is covered with clothes.. he still will get light in his eyes and face :) so still a big win :)
    in the end we can only change ourselves..... by doing that...... you my dear... will be a starfish.... :love:
    and that is all that is needed :) :) :)

    just find a lonely spot and go nude on the beach :) I do all the time :)
    and guess what is weird.. I never feel lonely when out in the wild.. ever
    and if I take books with me to read... I almost always forget to read them...lol
  3. nicld

    nicld Gold

    Crocheting is not as hard as one might think. Time to learn a new skill I think.

    Good for you for making the change.
  4. Jenny S

    Jenny S Gold

    Thanks Inger. Hard to hold his hand now he's gone back to Bendigo!
    Did drive further along beach yesterday to check - a lot less people but lots of rocks & fisherman, so possibility for nude.
  5. Jenny S

    Jenny S Gold

    Mm, thinking you're right about crotcheting... thanks Nicid
  6. Jenny S

    Jenny S Gold

    Well finally slept 8 hrs last night, been only able to manage 7 for weeks. Still wake up every 1 - 2 hours but sleep pretty well between.
    nicld and caroline like this.
  7. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Hi Jenny - How are you doing???
  8. Jenny S

    Jenny S Gold

    Hi Caroline, battling a bit - still husband. He's not coping at all with me being in Hervey Bay still, he's quite depressed & still getting all the usual didn't think this would happen to him - me moving without him blah blah blah. I've read too much rubbish on the internet & my family & friends are starting to think I've gone mad (so he says)
    I'm going home in couple of weeks & be there for a month then coming back up. think it might be a long month. He still won't consider moving - says he would never be happy anywhere else & he'd only make my life & his miserable which is probably right!
    I'm thinking of asking Josh (paleo osteo) for a certificate of saneness & stating that I am doing the only thing possible to get healthy & maintain it.
    Hope you are still enjoying your new life
    Cheers Jenny x
  9. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    A lot of manipulation going on .....so sorry Jenny

    When we moved to Australia from Canada - a lot of folks asked us how we could do that etc. etc. - such a big move and weren't we scared and on and on. A close friend who is a therapist wanted to have a long talk to me and did I understand what I was doing and how huge a move it was.

    My answer always was ..... It is just geography - wherever my DH is ..... is home. That is all that really mattered to me.

    All the new shared experiences are magic.

    Please remember to care care of you first and foremost and he has to do the same. To say he wouldn't be happy anywhere else is pretty extreme ....and amazingly boring!
    I will pm my phone number - call me when you get back this way. I would imagine it will be so stressful for you.
    Joe Gavin and nicld like this.
  10. nicld

    nicld Gold

    Hang in there.
    Jenny S likes this.
  11. Jenny S

    Jenny S Gold

    Thanks Caroline & Nicid - I feel the fact that he says he wouldn't be happy up here anywhere fairly negative, when he says he loves me so much & would never be happy with anyone else & is so miserable without me. Can't help some people.
  12. endless

    endless New Member

    As hard as it is, we must not sacrifice our own health for another....you are doing amazing things for yourself! It sucks that your husband cannot see that, and is obviously looking at the situation through his own 'filter' of fears and projections. Unless and until he is willing to at least try being happy somewhere else there is not much you can do for him other than letting him know that you love him. This is one reason why I am single.....
    caroline, nicld, nikita and 1 other person like this.
  13. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

  14. Jenny S

    Jenny S Gold

    Thanks Endless - sounds like you've been in similar situation - man didn't change?
    Interesting development from phone call husband few minutes ago, wants to buy a small place still in same town but thinks we might have to divorce as he can't cope with a part time wife. I will have to sell our home & deal with all the crap 'cos he can't. Not really enough money to buy 2 smaller places but as this has been my choice so far, so looks like it the decision might be easy as he's making it for me! Spose it's healthy living in a tent anyway!
    Don't feel that happy right this minute but guess if that's what has to be I will cope as my decision in moving was choosing health over husband, guess that happiness is up to me ultimately ..... I know there are others who have to do the broken heart thing - Inger for one, & they are all surviving.
    Sorry for the long blurb just had to get it out.
    caroline likes this.
  15. when one tells you they care/love you etc, you must ask yourself if it is selfish care/love or universal care/love.

    he says he cant stand it without you, but will not change a thing in his own life to make sure he is there with you...

    i see this as selfish love.
    caroline and Lahelada like this.
  16. Lahelada

    Lahelada New Member

    I hate to agree with Josh but yes. There is a slight hope that he may change his tune when he sees you getting better. People are deathly afraid of change sometimes. Focus on yourself for now don't count on,wait for him to do anything. Just get well for yourself and maybe for him later on.
    caroline likes this.
  17. fitness@home

    fitness@home Silver

    Jenny, you are a very strong woman and I have no doubt that you'll be absolutely fine in the long run. My heart goes out to you...marriages (and relationships in general) that run their full course are painful even when you know it is for the best.

    Change is good. It may be scary at times but it also opens so many other doors.
    yarralea, caroline and Jenny S like this.
  18. for the record, and i hope jenny doesnt mind, but i have never seen such dramatic change in hormone and cholesterol labs in two weeks ever before as i did with Jenny's labs when she trialled northern australia for 2 weeks...
  19. cinnamon

    cinnamon Gold

    Jenny, I wonder if what he told you in the phone call today was a test. He might be trying to figure out what you would do if you really have to make the choice between the marriage and your health. If you "call his bluff" so to speak and are calm and clear that while you love him, you are unwilling to sacrifice your health for the marriage if you can't have both, maybe he will see that if he wants to be with you, he is going to have to give in a little?

    I'm sending positive thoughts your way! :love:
    nicld likes this.
  20. Jenny S

    Jenny S Gold

    don't mind at all

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