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My Optimal Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by KrusinWitchie, Jun 28, 2018.

  1. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)

    How are you? Any confirmation? I do agree your partner should concentrate on finding safer work closer to home in a hurry, babe or not.

    Would love to see your earlier deleted post. :glasses:
     
  2. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    Confirmation negative on the pregnancy front. All is still happening as it should, like you said. I have the time that I want to really address our environment before growing our family. I’m hoping by winter 2019 that will be possible. Despite the scare being a surprise, it was still upsetting to learn I wasn’t pregnant. I think I handled it pretty well, aside from a rambling post here in my journal :)
     
  3. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    First post on forum (April ‘18)


    Hi All,


    I’ve read for hours and hours on the blog and on the forum and still feel like a complete noob, but the beauty of forever being a noob is that you never cease to throw yourself into new situations and experiences to level up into a new noob level.


    I’m 26, female, pale and freckly, and live in New Hampshire, US. It’s barely spring here but I did get pink the other day laying out in 58F!


    Family History:

    Both grandfathers were in the Navy, died in their 90s. Maternal- respiratory disease, paternal I’m not sure. Both had skin cancer.

    Maternal grandmother has rheumatoid arthritis

    Paternal grandmother had dementia

    Father has dementia and is pre diabetic and obese, has skin cancer.

    Mother has high inflammation, is obese, teeth falling out but “has no time for health until she retires.” Narcissistic tendencies. Currently she’s living in Barcelona and travels to NH frequently.


    Medical History:

    Antibiotic use since childhood to treat staph

    Steroid asthma inhalers in childhood

    Heavy antihistamine and nasal decongestant use from childhood through late teens due to seasonal and pet allergies

    Eating disorder (bulimia and purging type AN) from early teens through 22

    Depression, Depersonalisation, social anxiety and suicidal from early teens through early 20s

    Tendon and ligament tears in elbow from sports injury at 14

    Arthroscopic hip surgeries (r+l) at 15 and 16 with general anesthesia for 7 hours each time

    Mononucleosis (ebv) at 19

    MRSA at 19

    Binge drinker from 15-24

    Acne, eczema, rosacea

    Digestive symptoms (undigested food in stool, extreme bloating, pain)


    Thankfully, most of this is behind me at 26 years old. At 20 I became vegan to try and “be healthy.” Lasted 3 years and finally realized it wasn’t the answer to my health woes. Ever since then I have been obsessed with questioning nearly everything I’ve been led to believe about health and disease. After stopping vegan, I just started being conscious about where my meat was coming from and making sure it was treated well to be less inflammatory. Cut out wheat. Lots of different seeds, veggies and nuts are undigested in stool so I avoid them.


    Now i’ve been eating epi-paleo for the past four weeks since finding this community and my poops are fabulous so I know Dr. Kruse is for real.


    My “skin in the game” realizations:


    Even after a week and a half, sex w/ BF was markedly improved. Quantifiably improved. (Oh yeah, I’ve got him eating epi-paleo too)


    We live currently in a non-WiFi lake house with a metal roof in the boonies of NH, and have been mindful of light cycles and emf exposure (although I have been glued to my phone reading the blogs, forums etc). Last week, we stayed at BF’s boss’ house while they were on vacation to watch their dog and for BF to benefit from a shorter commute. Holy shh. The place is maybe 1,000 sq ft and it is lit the f up with electronics. I noticed it when we arrived but figured we’d be fine. We still ate our epi-paleo diet for the first few days. By day 3 I was insatiable and had to rummage through their cupboard and binged on oatmeal bars, popsicles and espresso. Not to mention the senior dog paces at night so we barely slept. By day 5 I DEVELOPED A HEMORRHOID. I was horrified. Never happened to me in my life. This happened even though I spent five hours on day four and five outside grounded in the sun with the dog to try to help her symptoms. Mind you, the dog drinks an ungodly amount of water, and BF noticed too he was increasingly thirsty. The BF remarked he is more rested after sleeping 5 hours and commuting 3 hours/day from the lakehouse than when he commuted 20 minutes a day at the “Lit” house and attempted to sleep for 9 hours. So, yeah. Environment is very important, just ask my butt. He is feeling and looking tons better since we’re back in the lakehouse. I am still nurturing my butt.


    Have been cold air adapting for the past four weeks. Haven’t had the heat on inside at all. People come over and say I’m crazy but I don’t feel it. My whole life I’ve always been shivering even when it’s warm, so this is exciting to me. Face dunks feel like I’m drowning for some reason but I aim to be more consistent with them. Once the lake isn’t frozen I will do CT in it, assuming it isn’t too cold when it first melts.


    I get a heavy feeling when we use GPS navigation in the car now. Never noticed before. Getting a road map ASAP.


    We’re fixing up an old farmhouse. What a humbling experience to realize that I can’t just agree to everything my dad says re materials because “this isn’t his first time at the rodeo”. Got secondhand cabinets that’ve already offgassed, using shiplap instead of drywall throughout the house and am saying no to interior plywood. I’m not too techie so I am struggling to understand what we can do re internet and wiring. The walls are exposed now so it’s high time for me to get a grip on this.


    I hope to be active on the forums once I absorb some more nuggets from the blog posts. Nice to meet you all. I feel like I already know many of you since I’ve read so many of your enlightening words. But all I know is that I know nothing.


    Take it easy,


    Hannah
     
    wildperoxin and Phosphene like this.
  4. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    Just saw an ad on YouTube for a reparative night cream moisturizer that mitigates the effect of “too little sleep, uv light, and even blue light”. You betcha we’re headed in the right direction.. I think? Estée Lauder something or another. Funny shit.
     
    drezy likes this.
  5. drezy

    drezy New Member

    Wow, that's some awesome cream!

    That stuff sounds like it's for the "What do I buy and which bumpersticker should I get" crowd.
     
  6. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    I know, I’m offended that I was targeted with that marketing. Why couldn’t it be an ad helping me choose which seaweed to get at the Asian supermarket?
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  7. drezy

    drezy New Member

    Oh I've got far worse for you:

    Penis enlargement???? WTF man!?
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  8. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    As my grandmother would say in response to something salacious, “Oh dear.”

    Speaking of enlargement...

    Yesterday FH (future husband) and I discussed square root theory and we both enjoyed learning about the impact that stochastic calculus has on our body. Although FH was more excited about stock market applications. I think of myself as being pretty lax still about applying mitochondriac principles in my day to day. It is exciting to see big changes from what seems like minimal input. I have gained what might be like 5-8lbs of muscle and am vainly very happy with where my body decided to put it. I don’t exercise beyond how I just normally move day to day. And night, heh. It is a strange thing to see your body transform like that in so little time. But quantum stuff is hard to believe for that reason! If I knew less I would think I was being blessed by the booty gods for god knows what.

    I’ve been being naughty with carbs the past 2-3 weeks, but I suppose tis the season to be. I think that I would handle them better if I was doing more higher temp CT and being grounded outside all day in the sun. Because that’s what’s been really speeding up my recovery. I had a nasty big ol pimp on my chin after eating my sister’s orange blossom peach pie and it was gone in 2 days. Been effing up too regularly to have banished this eczema around my nose and mouth that revisited 3 weeks ago. I suspect that was brought on from nnEMF. The weeks prior my stepdaughter was here and the phone was on airplane mode and I never had time to be a slug with it. She left and back I was with eczema and my phone. Children make me better in lots of ways and I am grateful for the lessons I learn.

    But.. I wonder if the carbs helped me pack on that muscle back there. Obviously the protein and fat and the morning sun and the pm moonlit exercise contributed as well. I noticed too these past few weeks that I am not feeling the midday sun as much as I was even during hotter temps. It feels too hot for me which I understand as a sign I need to chill with the inflammatory behaviors. More morning/evening sun and cool water.
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  9. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    The smoked oysters were getting a bit too addicting and pricey, so I’ve ordered a big case of boiled oysters from the same brand. I’ve got 3 cans sitting in a pickle jar with olive oil and heaps of Caribbean green seasonin. Excited to experiment with different flavors. These are the types of things I will unfortunately forget I ever tried to make so I have to write them here.

    My grandmother asked for my tubes and tentacles recipe that she tried last week when she was here. I need to send her a letter even though I could just text it to her. I hate that she’s being lauded for being “good with her iPhone in her old age”.

    Found the following recipes from my great grandmother with the help of my mom that I can’t wait to try/modify:
    suet pudding
    kidney stew and waffles
    Beef tongue
    Oyster stew

    Also learned my grandmother caught skunks to sell as pets during the Depression and her and great grandmother both would eat squirrel.

    This means good things for my mitochondria. I believe the sickest is my mother, and if I had to guess my heteroplasmy rate is less than hers but probably not as good as grandma and great grandma. I have the same initials as my grandmother and great grandmother, although I don’t share their name. HBS. Headed in the right direction!

    Fun fact: my voicemail message for the majority of my absurd teenage years was a very white friend rapping, “Yo, it’s HBS, holla at your girl if you like my chest..wordddd.” Never got any voicemails from the boys though, not sure why. In hindsight, I’m so very grateful for my self inflicted c***blocking because my immune system was a POS.

    *transition*

    Tomorrow FH and I will transplant a buttload of orange lilies that are in the way of the drip edge that my father might be more proud of than he is of me. We’re also going to be stripping saplings of their branches to get them ready for my wattle fence around the house. (Aka nudeytime fence). My favorite part about the wattle fence is that my brother (smartypants JHU neuroscience degree brother who is super quiet about most things Kruse I’ve mentionioned -so far) got so jazzed about my wattle fence research that he made a wattle deer fence for his own property. So my little fence makes me so happy already.

    Typically not a big fan of orange lilies but they do remind me of Texas, which I miss so much, because we had some surrounding our apartment there. Not sure where to put them but they seem to like the east side of the house.

    Foodies while we’re there will be these green oystahs.

    You have got to cut me some slack for talking so much about myself. All these years of never having Twitter as an outlet is to blame for this self interested disorganized tirade.

    Off to season my second pork belly. #porkinmybelly
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  10. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    I have tried to find out how to visually identify 5G structures to no avail. Recently as I’ve been driving around New Hampshire I’ve noticed rectangular grey boxes on electrical poles as seen in the picture below. However I can’t find any info about New Hampshire and 5G. I saw some of these rectangles on top of a fire department about 5 miles from our property. Even as I drive out into the country there are some on street poles wherever there is a house nearby.

    Can anyone identify these? I’m sure this is the wrong place to ask, so my apologies.
     

    Attached Files:

  11. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    https://m.facebook.com/drjackkruse/...otif_id=1532295377506901&notif_t=feed_comment

    https://forum.jackkruse.com/index.php?threads/mri-contrast-warning.20742/page-2

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/24479558/

    Now I know at least one reason why I am so sensitive to nnEMF. I had at least two contrast MRIs done in 2007/2008 when I was 16. Injected into both hips. I get angry over this because I was manipulated into being bedridden on crutches for 6 months in a 1 year period with the promise that I could return to varsity sports pain free. I remember almost nothing from this time period except kids asking for my pain pills and feeling very suddenly dumb and worthless.

    It is both a soothing and anxiety inducing reality that the solution is to just strictly limit nnEMF exposure. Soothing because that’s a pretty simple prescription. Anxiety inducing because my cousins wedding is in 5 weeks in Maryland. I also offered to fly to pick up my stepdaughter a few times a year. Are these the uncomfortable truths that as a mitochondriac I need to see? Does being a mitochondriac potentially mean that my stepdaughter has less time to be with her father? I can’t get over that selfishness. Does gadolinium toxicity mean that I will always be sensitive to nnEMF? Can I ever get on a plane?With each nnEMF exposure am I blasting gadolinium into sensitive reproductive tissues?

    I am devising a plan to make money so that I come to the table with part of the solution instead of just the problem. 23andme for myself and my partner, a consultation with Michael Neuert and meter rentals, and a consult with Dr. K. For folks that have done this before, how much did that cost you?
     
  12. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    It’s in the low 40s. My carby experiment filled with hopeful ignorance led to bloating, loose stools with undigested foods, mucus formation in my throat, cold intolerance and introduced me to my life’s second hemorrhoid. In the coming years I can look forward to fully celebrating a harvest season, however for now I’m weary even of local apples.


    I was having BPC for breakfast, large keto seafood/pork meal and a carb/fat attack later in the day. Carb was either yam, sweet plantain, or apples.


    The smack in the face was how shitty I felt yesterday. We drove around and visited antique shops, picked up a post hole digger and shopped around for a camera to capture our first New England autumn. I felt like a depressed teenager being dragged around by her mom and I could not snap out of it. I spoiled FH’s day off and I feel badly about that. I am struggling with realizing/communicating my sensitivity to our car. 2014 Volkswagen CC. I feel wretched in it.


    We’ve been sleeping outside in a tent since I found out I’d been sleeping with a smart meter a foot away from my head for 8 months. Put up a cast iron skillet to add some sparkle to the curb appeal. Still worried about the emf exposure outside but waiting to measure with a meter.


    A book of poems from the antique store found its way into my hands yesterday. “The Poems of Tukarama.” Had to share one that sang to the mitochondriac in me. “If men are habitations of God, we should fall at their feet, but we should leave alone their habits and aims. Fire is good to drive away cold, but you must not tie it up and carry it about in a cloth.”


    And this one made me laugh but now I feel the weight associated with it..

    “Be either a sage or a downright clown.”
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  13. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    This is the small cell FirstNet system, or equivalent bc NH opted out of FirstNet I believe.
     
  14. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    Slept in the tent alone last night because there was an EMF argument in our house. Anyone else could think I’m crazy and I wouldn’t care. This one hurts.

    Found some lab results that I got pre-Kruse. I got them just cause my insurance was about to end. My environment got worse after the labs for a few months but improved when I left Plano for NH. Excuse the format.


    Collected 10/19/2017 3:15 pm
    5’8” 154lbs
    Fasting

    CBC W/AUTO DIFF WITH PLATELETS
    WBC 7.0 K/UL
    RBC 3.93 M/UL
    HEMOGLOBIN 12.5 G/DL
    HEMATOCRIT 37.0%
    MCV 94.1 fL
    MCH 31.8 PG
    MCHC 33.8 G/DL
    RDW 12.5%
    NEUTROPHILS 45.9%
    LYMPHOCYTES 44.9%
    MONOCYTES 6.6%
    EOSINOPHILS 1.9%
    BASOPHILS 0.7%
    PLATELET COUNT 270 K/UL

    COMPREHENSIVE METABOLIC PANEL
    GLUCOSE 78 MG/DL
    BUN 9 MG/DL
    CREATININE 0.75 MG/DL
    eGFR NON-AFRICAN AMER. 111 >60ML/MIN/1.73
    CALC BUN/CREAT 12
    SODIUM 140 MEQ/L
    POTASSIUM 3.8 MEQ/L
    CHLORIDE 100 MEQ/L
    CARBON DIOXIDE 28 MEQ/L
    CALCIUM 9.0 MG/DL
    PROTEIN, TOTAL 7.3 G/DL
    ALBUMIN 4.8 G/DL
    CALC GLOBULIN 2.5 G/DL
    CALC A/G RATIO 1.9
    BILIRUBIN, TOTAL 0.5 MG/DL
    ALKALINE PHOSPHATASE 45 U/L
    AST 19 U/L
    ALT 13 U/L

    URINALYSIS
    nothing exciting except trace bacteria that didn’t grow in culture and trace casts,hyaline.

    ELECTROLYTES
    MAGNESIUM 1.9 mg/dL

    THYROID
    TSH 0.98 micro IU/mL if I read that unit correctly
    T4, free 1.15 ng/dL
    T3, free 3.3 pg/mL

    LIPIDS (mg/dL)
    Total Cholesterol 158
    LDL-C Direct 74
    HDL-C 80
    Triglycerides 31
    Non-HDL-C (calculated) 78

    METABOLIC
    VitD 30 ng/mL (lived in tx for 2 years and unfortunately thought I needed to protect my fair skin)
    TSH 0.98
    Vitamin B12 494 pg/mL
    RBC Folate 966 ng/mL

    GLYCEMIC CONTROL
    HbA1c 5.3%
    Estimated Average Glucose (calculated) 105.4 mg/dL


    That’s all. He gave me 12 weeks of a green vitD supp that I did finish but never refilled. And recommended I lay off the boba teas.

    I’m pretty certain of what needs to happen from here based on what I’ve read. Need sun, not going to get what I need here in NH. Is that true, even with the skin in the game revelations from VT 2018?

    I didn’t give two shits when we moved from Plano, TX to NH. What made my heart break, brought tears to my eyes and I couldn’t figure out why (because we used boxes for furniture, had no $ even for sheets on our bed and were hundreds of feet next to a cell tower) was when we left San Antonio to move to Plano. I think intuitively I knew I was closer to wellness there... I would daydream about Mexico all the time. I got so far as a dip in the Rio Grande right in front of the Santa Elena canyon in Big Bend National Park. Now I’m farther away with more baggage :/ if only I had found Kruse two months earlier I would not have agreed to move and rent a newly purchased house from my parents. “If onlys” make me a downright clown.

    My focus is to lure FH away from his job and towards something that would allow us to spend a good deal of time closer to the equator.. in chunks so I don’t have to fly much.

    Any insight on the labs is immensely appreciated.
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  15. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    “Salutary light” as quoted by the comments from Kruse in the new Patreon blog. I stinkin love that!

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/21334201

    I keep suspecting that I am very low dopamine, and I’m sure I am relative to some of y’all here. I’m low enough that I haven’t gotten my booty in the 65F lake since my lil’ peach of a stepdaughter left and have been a sucker for coffee since. It’s fascinating how I just realized I probably dipped very low when she left because being with her for those two weeks was pure magic. Every year that happens. :( . Last year I did notice that i like who i am better when she’s around, less anxiety and less indecisive. Sounds like a dopamine story? I understand that to make all of the moves that FH and i need to make to get to optimal, I NEED to get that dopamine boost from cold exposure to be able to confidently make decisions.

    The morning after the EMF argument and sleeping outside, I wake up and walk back to the house only to find that FH locked me out when he left for work, lol. I was pissed at the mindlessness required of him to do that, but I’m very proud of myself for not losing my shit. I wrote him a long text message explaining my POV (about the emf stuff and the door haha) that was respectful and ended up being productive/constructive. It is awesome how my “personality” changed when controlling for my environment. Six months ago we suspected that both of us had Borderline Personality Disorder tendencies (not diagnosed). We have been consistently quite explosive in the past and it’s a miracle that we are so level, understanding, forgiving and kind to each other now. I’m proud of myself but holy cow am I proud of my man. He is a spectacular person who has been through so much BS and isn’t embittered by it but instead sweetened and softened. Sometimes when we talk (usually for hours before sleep every night) I play games in my head superimposing his speech onto some of Kruse’s prose while controlling for jargon, and they sound like twins! Leadership is leadership, and you develop a very specific kind of no BS leadership when every step of the way you had to ignore folks who were hoping you’d fail and fall flat on your face. Yes I, myself, look forward to meeting Kruse and members in the future, but I especially can’t wait for y’all to meet my man.

    We worked hard to distance ourselves from distorted black&white thinking, but we both know that the EpiPaleoRx pushed us over the edge for us never to look back. Everything I had read about BPD suggested we should break up because we would end up killing each other lol. Maybe if we continued living in 5G Plano we would’ve! Hope I haven’t scared you guys off!

    After our discussion resolving our argument, we know where we’re headed. South. Lots of moving pieces involved to make that happen. New (old) car. Limiting EMF exposure at all costs. No unnecessary travel. Collecting old medical records to look into if it’s worth pursuing litigation for the gadolinium. 23andme. consults. Meters. Plan for leaving corporate America. Fats. Cold. Cojones.

    On another note, my Dad is asking us to get him frozen mussel meats because he loves them so much! He’s been eating a whole package which is just under a lb, with pasture raised eggs. I challenged him to eat it for breakfast instead of lunch to see how he feels comparatively. He’s doing it to lose weight for an October wedding, not for his health, but I’ll take what I can get! He travels to and fro Barcelona to be a housewife for my mom while she’s working over there. My mom is due to be finished working there in early 2019 but I want them to stay. Permanently. Spend the winters there at least. My mom reports that my dad is better over there, and I’m sure she is too. That’s another project I’ll have to start planting seeds for.

    The dude who is supposed to cut our pasture is recovering from eye surgery so may not get to it before snowfall. This is the second person I’ve met up here that has had eye surgery, and my human contact circle is pretty minimal. Clue to evaluate my environment!
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  16. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    C936EF23-7A36-4C98-BDA3-CA8E5DD553AF.jpeg
    This was almost six years ago. We are shocked at how his facial shape changed! I always said he was high in estrogen because at the time he had man boobies... but even his face was so feminine then! Very cool for us to observe now.

    F49CE1D0-A951-47F6-B576-4318905C0195.png
    This year on the lake.

    15C62CDB-29D0-4868-9449-50E4A738B073.jpeg
    Teaching his daughter mancala.
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  17. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    So about 5 years ago I got my first and only tattoo. I wouldn’t say I regret it (even though it got me taken out of the will HA), however I did not expect to be asked so much to translate it. I also never imagined how many people actually think that Latin is the same as Spanish?? I was an underachieving undercover Latin nerd in HS so got a dorky tattoo “scio me nescire” meaning “I know that I don’t know”. Socrates.

    Now that I’ve heard Kruse mention the Dunning Kruger effect enough times, my new response for folks who ask about my tattoo is, “Google the Dunning Kruger effect.” Lols.
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  18. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    This is what I plan to share with my family today...


    Hello. Because you’re family, and because I love you all, I’m sharing the following with you. I’ve tried to simplify it to the point that it is tolerable to understand, however I’m not asking that you go to the lengths to understand entirely. All I ask is that you respect my decision to pursue solutions to this predicament I’ve found myself in.

    Here goes...
    The below is an excerpt from an abstract of a study documenting toxic effects of Gadolinium exposed to electricity akin to a hairdryer.

    “It is important to investigate the effect of extremely low-frequency electromagnetic fields (ELF-EMF) on Gd toxicity, as patients are co-exposed to Gd and ELF-EMF generated by MRI scanners. We investigated the cytotoxicity and genotoixcity of Gd and the possible enhancing effect of ELF-EMF on Gd toxicity in cultured human lymphocytes ... Exposing human lymphocytes to Gd resulted in a concentration- and time-dependent decrease in cell viability and an increase in MN frequency, single strand DNA breakage, apoptotic cell death, and ROS production. ELF-EMF (0.8 mT) exposure also increased cell death, MN frequency, olive tail moment, and apoptosis induced by Gd treatment alone. These results suggest that Gd induces DNA damage and apoptotic cell death in human lymphocytes and that ELF-EMF enhances the cytotoxicity and genotoxicity of Gd”

    Enhanced cytotoxic and genotoxic effects of gadolinium following ELF-EMF irradiation in human lymphocytes.
    Cho S, et al. Drug Chem Toxicol. 2014.

    Conclusion (in my own words): the two injections of Gadolinium contrast dye that I was given ten years ago are excited by exposure to certain frequencies. This study only explored extreme low frequency exposure, however I have confirmed with a practicing neurosurgeon from an educational perspective that even the frequency emitted from a typical LED light bulb will activate the metal.


    Moving on...

    https://www.fda.gov/Drugs/DrugSafety/ucm589213.htm

    The study above may have had something to do with the FDA in December 2017 deciding after over 10 years on the market that ,”We are also requiring manufacturers of GBCAs to conduct human and animal studies to further assess the safety of these contrast agents.” Because ,”The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is requiring a new class warning and other safety measures for all gadolinium-based contrast agents (GBCAs) for magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) concerning gadolinium remaining in patients’ bodies, including the brain, for months to years after receiving these drugs.” They do say that the benefits outweigh the risks, however in my case there were alternatives for imaging and there was no risk of forgoing the MRIs and surgery.


    What am I going to do, then? Not much.. there’s not much I can do other than dialysis which is a hard no from me. The only other option is to strictly control my environment to eliminate harmful frequencies. I’ll take that route. It will involve me becoming a bit of a happy hermit and spending as much time outside as possible.

    For the reasons listed above, regrettably I can’t afford to travel for Hunter and Lauren’s wedding. Mom, if you could guide me on how to communicate that respectfully to them, I’d appreciate that. After I do that (ASAP because time sensitive for them) you can spill whatever beans you want.

    You can support me by being open to little suggestions I might have here and there to make your homes more comfortable and safe for me to visit, as well as for you. And not to take it personally if I don’t spend long amounts of time at your houses or at all. Also if you can remember any personal or seemingly random details about me from 2007-2008, please share with me. I do not remember much of anything during that time except that all of the sudden I felt very dumb in school.

    I understand that many points made here are counterintuitive and seem somewhat extreme. Remember that my goal is to NOT be a nerdy hermit but in the meantime, I am your strange sister/daughter/friend. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you for your support!
     
    Phosphene and Janet Shold like this.
  19. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    Sitting out on the lake/half in half on a lounge chair. These little flies are just dropping out of the sky and landing in the lake. And on me. And then wiggling around on the surface until they KO. There’s like 20 per sq ft. Surrounded by death. First day of sun and clear skies in 4 or 5 days here. Last night we chased the sunset across the lake in a little paddleboat and we both took a dip once we caught up to it. Proud of FH. He never learned to swim, but talked himself out of irrational fears and dipped with me. He stayed in longer than I did :) the water was in the low 60s but is in the 70s today. I noticed last night that the heat lamp on my legs did not feel all that warm... wonder if it had to do with the leg excercise under the evening sun to paddle out there combined with the chilly dip.



    Also lots of pollen in the water but not the most I’ve seen here. FH’s allergies are getting worse. So far my only noticeable symptom is itchy nose. We picked up some raw a2 milk yesterday from a biodynamic farm 30 miles away. Curious if it might help with allergies. Excited to learn the farm offers 1/2 pastured whey finished pigs for 6.50/lb. Grassfed 1/2 cow for the same price. Cow heart for $5/lb. I’ve prepared lamb heart but not cow heart... off to Inger’s journal to see what shenanigans I can get into with a cow heart. still need to learn how to fish and clean/gut. .
     
    Phosphene likes this.
  20. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    Theres a shingle in the lake right next to where I’m sitting in the lounge chair. I am being taunted by a shingle because I can’t put shit on it and eat it. Thank you 43rd latitude.
     

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