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My Optimal Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by KrusinWitchie, Jun 28, 2018.

  1. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    May I say something?

    I can see you are trying. And you are trying at the right things... You are perceiving the right attitudes, which will serve you greatly.

    Its a bicycle. You are learning to ride it. Keep getting on the bicycle. That is all. You don't think about balancing when you ride a bike, you just balance. You just feel it.


    Same is true with knowing what is the right and wrong decisions in this life. YOU CANNOT CONTROL what the SO thinks, reacts, acts. Yes, there are consequences to your actions ... but you just do the best you can in each moment with what you are able to do. And then you just make the decisions. And see the results. And experience the results. And feel the bad and the good and the ugly. And then you learn. And then you grow. And then you come to be okay with the process in time...and you survive.. and then you thrive. And you come on the forum if you need extra support :)

    The dust will ultimately settle where it settles, time and again, and the truth will inevitably evolve and emerge and reveal itself.. you don't control the balance of the bicycle.. you just feel it, and learn to ride it... in time. Keep getting on the bicycle, even if you don't know what that bicycle really is right now.

    May I suggest something?

    HAVE self-doubt. SECOND guess yourself. WORRY about how he will react. KICK yourself. And really do it. BE fragmented. BE whatever it is that is inside you. And take as long as you need with yourself. The result with your SO will reveal itself in time. But more importantly, the experiences that are going on right inside your body, right now? ... will serve to reveal to you even more importance to your life, and ultimately to your family.... it will reveal to you, YOU. Let it come over and over and over again as long as you need. But I promise you there will be a day, near or far, where the lesson will click. And you will go, "AHA". And things will be right as rain. It will be beautiful, Witchie. And hold onto that too. And then you will move onto the next lessons of your life on this crazy journey, stronger, and wiser. And you will be able to carry your own bucket of water FIRST, always, always, and then his, and then the little one's.

    KrusinWitchie likes this.
  2. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    So I was mostly grappling with fear. No... I wasn't grappling with it. I was running away from it by pretending to think logically. Moving onward...
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  3. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I love floating ....and not thinking about anything.
    KrusinWitchie likes this.
  4. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    And most of all... that’s is all okay. You are okay.

    Keep going... keep going.
    KrusinWitchie likes this.
  5. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    I was happy to spend the day outside with my mom and sister at a cider and cheese festival. Enjoyed the live music, lots of local crafts and dogs to look at too. Prime peepin season. Locals call the out of state folks who come up during this time leaf peepers. Is that a term used anywhere else?


    I didn’t make it to the lake today for CT, but I settled for mom’s bathtub... ;)


    20 minutes up to my ribcage. The twins felt a bit left out but their time to shine is soon coming. I have two beautiful places to CT but both are about a 35 min drive from home. Haven’t yet set up an everyday stock tank/old tub situation at home yet. To do. Feeling better today.
  6. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    "peepin".. NOPE. lol

    But that view though.... wow.
  7. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member


    Yesterday morning I found the cats’ water bowl frozen like this. Usually it doesn’t freeze this way. I remember reading here that if water freezes “up” like that it is a deuterium story. Going to look into that. I am hopeful this means my well water is low in deuterium and good to drink.

    Home has a few more residents these days. On Halloween I picked up two “barn cats” from my local humane society. One is a feral tabby and the other is a black older gal who can’t use a litter box properly. I didn’t plan to get a black cat on Halloween, it just happened. It was 70F which is unseasonably warm for NH. 5 minutes after I got them settled into the barn, we had a bit of a light show on the power line across the street which cut the power for the night.

    We got the cats to help with our rodent population. Unfortunately they had to stay in big dog crates for 3 weeks to get acclimated to their new environment, but not long after their release I found a murdered mole outside. Nice job kitties.

    We also moved our four sheep into the farm. It’s already been below 0F here. It makes a 30 degree day feel SO refreshing. Today is in the upper fifties and I even saw a mosquito.. strange.

    I haven’t been posting much because I feel I shouldn’t until I commit to cold water immersion CT. I feel I don’t have much to offer/take from the forums without CT except for a good example of what not to do. I also have changed my views on the “witchie” part of my username so I may go back to my initial account “Hannah Barrows” when I do drop in next.

    Much love to all
    caroline likes this.
  8. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member


    The sunny spot :)
    Bob Stirling likes this.
  9. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I love that you are going back to your old name!

    C/T is a game changer ....just do it! Please make an effort to go to your special spots at least a couple of times a week.

    I will be waiting to hear........

    and BTW .....you have so much to offer - don't underestimate yourself . I can feel your power/presence on the other side of the world....

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