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My Optimal Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by KrusinWitchie, Jun 28, 2018.

  1. Saichi

    Saichi New Member

    What makes you believe this?
  2. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    I used to be subject to the paranoia that 5g was everywhere, including the extremely rural and mountaineous area that I live in. As of now, I am not immediately concerned despite the fact that I have not confirmed the absence of 5g with a meter.

    My understanding is that fiber optic networks are necessary within the 5G network somewhere along the line. Regular cable is barely offered in this area of NH.

    New Hampshire thankfully is one of two states, I believe, to have passed legislation to create a commission to study the environmental and health effects of 5G technology as of July 2019. See NH HB522.

    My excitement is that his new work environment will be better than his existing work environment. His existing location was very close to a massive radio telescope and military base and was close enough to downtown Boston that he was most likely subjected to 5G exposure.
  3. Saichi

    Saichi New Member

    Your former paranoia was correct.

    The matrix is anything but incomplete in its grip.

    I have friends living where you can barely get 3G/4G reception and the 10K volt cabling and repeaters are there.
  4. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    The 10k volt cables are the big chunky ones added underneath the existing power/telephone lines? I have seen those in Westford, Mass where he worked before. I am not certain if they are in the town of his new location in NH but they are certainly not all the way up here where he sleeps every night.

    I don’t know what a repeater is.
  5. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    I really need to become more independent.
  6. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)

    How so?
    drezy likes this.
  7. drezy

    drezy New Member

    I think what @Phosphene is trying to ask is:
    How so?
  8. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    Well, this isn’t fair because:

    1. It’s not my stepdaughters job to maintain my level of self care and...
    2. Im admitting I will not take care of myself if no ones looking.

    I picked up a book at the dump the other day. “The Dance of Intimacy” by Harriet Goldhor Lerner. Here’s what triggered my “oh shit” moment:

    “Without a life plan, our intimate relationships carry too much weight. We begin to look to others to provide us with meaning or happiness, which is not their job. We want a partner who will provide self-esteem, which cannot be bestowed by another. We set up a situation in which we are bound to get over involved and overfocuse on the other person’s ups and downs because we are underfocused on the self.”
  9. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    it seems pretty damn obvious after having read that quote.

    I feel very uncomfortable reading my own journal and being confronted with how often I am dishonest with myself in order to avoid tough realities and anxieties.
  10. drezy

    drezy New Member

    For what it's worth nothing of significance I ever did was generated from any surplus of comfort. Just don't start up the recrimination machine. It's OK to sit with the discomfort and just let it be without needing to beat yourself or anyone else up.

    One year old "us" used to crap our pants and puke all over ourselves. Pretty embarrassing if you think about it. But we cut one year old us a little slack, don't we. Stretch that a bit. There's no amount of work or frustration that fixes past us anyway. There's now us and hopefully future us. Invest energy there like a tycoon.
  11. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)

    I was so curious I popped on over for a visit! She’s got a brilliant idea for creating and distributing a product, and the energy to get moving was birthed yesterday. Go Witchie!

  12. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    These words helped me to both soften and strengthen my perspective. Good shit, thank you mucho.
  13. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    My first time meeting a fellow mitochondriac in real life was a great personal growth opportunity. Thank you @Phosphene for dropping in!

    The energy exchanged between us was very different than that of the people I interact with regularly here, and the change felt like cool water on a hot day. I can clearly see the value of the circle of six topic being discussed presently here on the forums.

    I was very shy to connect with someone new initially. Yet I am looking forward to creating more opportunities for discomfort in the future!
    caroline, Phosphene and drezy like this.
  14. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    Speaking of cringey past me... First I had my first and middle name as my username which I realized soon after was too open-booky. Then I went even more open-booky yet incognito with krusinwitchie o_O. I think I may scare some folks off with the witchie thing, but that’s okay. Full disclosure, if I am a witch I am a lazy one. The extent of my spells are cleansing my house using water, salt, and sage and short spoken bits asking the earth to grant the house protection from unwelcome wills. That’s all folks.
    caroline and Phosphene like this.
  15. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    Last minute bomb of “you know we’re driving the [nnemf city] VW to the Bronx tomorrow right? Your [old ass] Ford is a gas guzzler.” was just dropped on me.

    A glass or two of Malbec may have lent me the cojones to declare I was only coming to his family’s event if we drove my car. Sweetly, at that, which is new for me.

    Boundary established and success declared! We will be put-putting along at 50-60 mph into the thick of it tomorrow, but riding high :)

    My ovaries are grateful.
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
    Phosphene, caroline and drezy like this.
  16. drezy

    drezy New Member

    My ovaries are too.
    KrusinWitchie likes this.
  17. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Remember how important this saying is.....


    Don't beat yourself up for all the stupid, unthinking, uncaring shit we all have done on our journey o get here.

    But now we know better - and so we have to do better .........no where to hide!
    Phosphene and KrusinWitchie like this.
  18. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    A cousin I truly never talk to asked me for my opinion on IUDs. So I offered it but without much context. A few hours later she made a sly comment on the subject that I didn’t want to believe was as rude as I know it was in hindsight.

    I sent her a message to say if she does go the IUD route, to eat plenty of oysters to offset high copper levels in the blood. Her response? “I wish there was an unsubscribe button.” You fucking asked me??? Good Lord.

    I am so grateful I have analyzed my own issues with my upbringing and mother so that those issues do not make me a miserable person. Even if they ask for it... I must trust my gut. I had a reluctant feeling when I was first asked and I will listen closely to those feelings next time.
    caroline and MITpowered26 like this.
  19. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    LOL she probably meant unsubscribe from her cycle.

    I must be coming up on mine considering how I interpreted that message :oops:
    caroline and MITpowered26 like this.
  20. KrusinWitchie

    KrusinWitchie New Member

    Quite a strange night two nights ago... I passed out in the shower. J was in the bathroom with me and caught me before I fell. He splashed cold water on the back of my neck and I regained consciousness after about a minute.

    I hadn’t eaten oysters in about two weeks, was eating (homemade with love) crap and drinking tequila last weekend and was short on sleep. That night I had just smoked weed for about the first time in two months and had two glasses of not Malbec red earlier in the evening. I was zoned out in the shower and didn’t realize how hot the water had gotten while we were talking about favorite snacks. Mine was oysters, to the reply of “damn you’re expensive”. I took that as a compliment. We happened to have had a fresh bag of 20 or so oysters in the fridge for the next morning.

    Im feeling fine now, even the minor sprain in my ankle is better. Apparently a 5’8 155lb wet noodley dead weight body is hard to maneuver out of the shower even by a hunky man’s standards.

    A brief search on the forums led to a post from Dr. K about dandruff being a lack of selenium and sunlight and in the same post, syncope as a sign of poor heteroplasmy. Clearly I can’t afford to be fucking around as much as I have been.

    I still sleep within 12-15 feet of the smart meter. I have noticed that I am not nearly as tanned as I was last summer.

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