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My mission to fix my broken body

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Ayla2010, May 5, 2012.

  1. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    For the last 12 years ive been fat.

    It all started with an emotionally abusive relationship, well this is when I can remember starting to binge eat.

    I gained around 20 kg at this time from what I can remember.

    I then met my now husband, but carried over the issues I had from this and every type of emotion would send me on a binge.

    Fast forward a few years and to us wanting to start a family. I was 107 kg, and did not have a regular cycle, they ranged from 40-60+ days, which made conceiving quite difficult. I was in denial about my weight being a problem though, until 14 months had passed with no pregnancy. I joined Weight Watchers and lost about 6 kg, and my cycle shortened, and I fell pregnant. Unfortunately I had an early miscarriage, but did fall pregnant again the next cycle. I saw pregnancy as a license to eat what I wanted, and I really did, and I went overboard. In the early weeks I was eating bacon in white bread rolls, lots of them too, then it was mcdonalds almost every day :( Not surprisingly I found out quite late in my pregnancy (long story) that I had gestational diabetes. By this stage I was 120+ kg, and could not wear shoes, I was walking around in slippers. My GD was diet controlled, as I was really careful about doing what they told me, as I was worried about all the interventions that could happen because of it, and they happened, so a long induction, then not at all emergency c/s (purely running out of time 2 hours after pushing), and our first son was here. The day after he was out I was 122kg. A month later I was down to my pre-pregnancy weight of around 101 kg.

    I joined WW again when he was 2 weeks old. I was quite successful on this, although slowly due to the odd up and down of my occasional emotional eating, I was down to 81 kg after about 14 months. I hovered here for months though, interestingly enough this was the weight I was when I met my now husband, I am not sure why this was a stalling point for me.
  2. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    Then I discovered a forum, where I originally went to deal with the trauma left from my sons birth. I was ridiculed pretty much for my low fat ways and weight watchers eating. I took a lot of things the wrong way there, and took it again as a license to eat what I wanted. I gained 20 kg back in less than 6 months :( 14 months of hard work ruined in less than half that time, so stupid!

    I got pregnant again when my youngest son was 2 at 102 kg.

    That pregnancy I was more careful about what I ate, due to deciding not to do any testing at all. But I still gained about 15 kg. I was very very puffy again too. Our second son was born at 39 weeks at home in water, after a 6 hour labor. Most amazing experience for me.

    Once I was given the go ahead from my midwife to exercise (I had a bit of a tear and graze) I started couch to 5 k on a treadmill I had hired for home. I had also rejoined WW during this time.

    After c25k I started training for a half marathon, as I really enjoyed running, but it ended up a bit of an obsession and I was running 5 days a week. All along with my WW eating. At some point I changed to a 6 meal a day type of plan, lots of brown rice, chicken and sweet potato. Sometime after about 1 year after my second son was born I was 83.8 kg.

    I am not 100% sure what derailed me at this time, but I got up to 88.5 kg by October. I had stopped running so much due to a hip injury, and then shin splints, but I was doing 2 x gym classes most days, and I was exhausted! I never felt great, and my head was in a permanent fog.
  3. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    I had heard of paleo from a friend, but thought it was too hard to try.

    I did start a whole30 at the beginning of October, but I felt really awful in the first few days and gave up pretty easily. I also came across a lot of negativity about what I was doing from so called friends, which didn't help.

    I did more reading and discovered MDA at the end of October, and started eating the primal way. I gave up dairy on and off, as I know its a problem for me, and my waist goes down pretty quick once ive stopped it, but I am addicted to coffee, so struggling to stop at the moment, but tomorrow has to be the day I do this, my body just does not like it. For the first 3-4 months of primal I felt amazing, and I just realised I stopped feeling so good around the time I started CrossFit, so that is interesting.

    Over the last 6 months I have not been perfect with eating by any means, but my binges hardly happen now, and when they do they are not as big as they used to be. Last binge was even burgers without the buns, so I am getting there. In Jan I discovered CrossFit and immediately fell in love with it, I loved how strong it made me feel, and how it made me face up to things I feared, like box jumps! A lot of what I did was still scaled due to lack of strength, but I was improving so much. But in the 4 months I was there, I got a shoulder injury and a leg injury, which I am still dealing with but both are much better after 2 weeks of no CrossFit. Some stuff happened there 2 weeks ago, so that along with my injury lead me to decide to not go back there, and to jump into the Leptin Reset rx.

    I had toyed with it a few times in the last 6 months but had been too afraid to stop exercising, but I am certain its what I need to do.

    I also need to find a decent Dr and get all my hormones checked out. I have had some tests, but the Dr was unwilling to do more since tsh was normal.

    Today was day 1 of my leptin reset.

    Breakfast: 5 large ground beef patties with herbs and spices cooked in CO.

    Lunch: Chorizo and bacon on a BAS.

    Dinner: Cheese and tomato slices. I wouldn't normally eat cheese, but I got hungry a bit later due to not needing to eat at dinner. I think I need to make my BAB bigger, so as I am skipping lunch and having an earlier dinner, but will play around with this a bit.

    No snacking, but I did have 2 coffees with cream, so actually I guess this is snacking, doh!

    Tomorrow I have to be stronger about not having the coffee and cream, i really do.

    I need to sort myself out big time.

    Current symptoms: Tiredness as soon as I am awake in the morning (sleep is broken, due to dealing with a new puppy needing to go outside though), moodiness, just overall rundown feeling, sore joints, headaches last 3 mornings in a row.

    Did work on being out in the sun for a while this morning. I am pretty sure I have adrenal fatigue from what I read on Dr K's blog, but reading as much as I can about it so I know what else I need to do.
  4. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    Breakfast today:

    12 chicken nibbles cooked in spices and coconut oil. I love these, they keep me satisfied for ages.

    I will not have any coffee or cream today!
  5. Welcome Ayla, keep reading, i'm sure you'll find your way!
  6. freesia

    freesia Old Member

    You could maybe have one coffee with your breakfast? So long as it fits in to the half hour?

    Best to you :)

    ETA I noticed on another thread that you think you may be dairy sensitive? Have you tried CO in coffee? It's actually not that bad :D
  7. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    thanks to you both, I am looking forward to working through this :)

    I could have one coffee with breakfast, but might look to switching to tea, as it says on Dr Kruse's blog post to avoid coffee if you have adrenal fatigue. I am pretty sure I do.


    ground beef/pork patties and a small salad, not very hungry, but was enough to need something.


    Pork belly and broccoli with butter.
  8. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    According to the quiz on the Dr James Wilson site, I have severe adrenal fatigue.

    I guess I should take his supplements to correct it, has anyone had success with his program?
  9. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    OK feeling a little less tired this morning, so maybe the liquorice root is helping?

    I had a bread roll with dinner last night and gained 1 kg over night, so am not up 8 kg since going primal, and I am getting so scared. I am almost back to where I was after my son was born nearly 2 years ago. I just can't get any heavier, I just can't!

    BAB was chicken nibbles again, getting bored with these, might switch to ground beef or steak for breakfast for a while.

    I just feel so sick about all this, why is it so hard. Yes I cheat sometimes, but much less than I used to when I was still losing weight the CW, but that is also getting better.

    Dairy I know is a problem, but surely the amount I have is not going to cause that gain? I am trying really hard to quit.
  10. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    Going to Naturopath tonight, to see what they can do for me.
  11. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    I decided to go for an appointment with an Ayurveda practitioner, has anyone been to one before?

    I have an appointment tonight.
  12. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    Scratch that, going to Naturopath tonight, will go to Ayurveda on Sat, but more so because I am curious, sounds like the diet they recommend is so not primal, but that is only from a quick google, im interested to hear what they have to say though.
  13. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    I hope your naturopath is better than the one I saw. She is definitely not on board with this way of eating & never heard of Paleo :confused: Meanwhile, the poor girl can barely walk she has rheumatoid arthritis so bad! I think I have to cancel my follow-up appt when she wants to critique & "fine-tune" my diet!

    Good luck. :)
  14. Ayla2010

    Ayla2010 New Member

    The naturopath was brilliant, there were only a couple of things she said I was unsure of.

    Hope you find a good one soon :)

    Now I know what is wrong with me I can start getting my life back :D

    - Zinc deficiency (liquid supplement for this)

    - Biotin deficiency (Eat bananas or eggs, not doing eggs right now, as they make me feel sick)

    - Very low in HCI (having lemon juice in water in the morning, will rectify this)

    - Iridology confirmed these things, as well as hypothyroidism, once I told her my symptoms she said this. My adrenals are a little affected, as I thought, but its more my thyroid. Hair falling out in clumps is a huge sign ive had for ages, and I had no idea.

    To confirm the hypothyroidism, she wants me to take my temp from day 2 of my cycle for 5 days. I tested out thermometer after I did shopping and it was only 35.63 deg (96.13 deg f).

    There is so much more, but I can hardly remember.

    To deal with my candida, she has me on a herbal remedy for detox for about 3 weeks, while I am on this remedy she says to avoid dairy(fine can do) but also red meat! I am not sure on this, but she did say it slows digestion down, so detox won't move through as well. So I guess I can manage for 3 weeks (I guess bone broth doesn't count here?).

    She did say I didn't need to worry about fruit as much as I have been, and also wanted me to eat 5 small meals a day to keep metabolism going (we all know this is wrong, so will forget that advice) otherwise she was happy with how I am eating.

    I may do yoga once a week for the relaxation. I will keep up the BAB and no snacking.

    Once I go back to naturopath we will know what to do about the thyroid, but am just relieved I know now.

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