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My journey from frustration to success

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Aussie Nana, Jan 15, 2013.

  1. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    Ashryn, I love doctors who bulk bill. I don't mind the script fee. Its when they add another $40 that I start to get irritated.

    Jack... biology... is about randomness - so its up to me to make sure that the environment I put my body into, both internally and externally, has the best conditions for the randomness to work in.

    Zorica - it is very difficult to cope with all this when money is a big issue. I've been there and know how it is. I found taking the natural thyroid to be incredible. For the first time in my then 58 odd years of life I was able to be warm. It was ridiculous having to hug hot water bottles to try to warm up my core when it was 70 F plus temperature in the house and the doctors said there was nothing wrong with me. I still love the feeling of having tingly warm feet only now those feelings are coming from my own thyroid, not the supplement. So keep up your efforts and hang on in there too. I do expect the adrenaline runs to reduce as I get better. What was hardest were adrenaline runs plus feeling very emotional and tearful when there was absolutely nothing to cry about. Heavens alone knows what I would have been like if I had been under psychological stress as well. I have to say it is a little odd getting the stress response for no apparent reason. I reckon this stress response is a totally physical hormonal cascade and nothing to do with my psychology.

    OK so today: An eating glitch last night when I got some cravings - oops, I had 4 figs and a nectarine, 4 pieces too many. But it didn't drive me to be hungry or want more today which is good. I again did too much with the youngsters last night, but not as much as last week. I made sure I cut the cardio activity in half. So I slept till 2am instead of 4, and dozed from then. A bit tired today. I have to say that food is getting very boring. Tomorrow I must buy some more interesting vegetables and I'm looking in a cook book for some ideas to improve things. I'm eating before 6am in the morning then just after 5pm in the evening. I still don't like the stuffed feeling I get from eating all that fat and protein at breakfast, but it seems to be doing its job. And I'm also losing a bit of weight - with the focus on the little bit. Given that I completely stop losing weight when I have inflammation its lovely for another few hundred grams to drop off.
  2. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Thats great AN that your little indiscretion didn't snowball and glad that the scales are going down for you.
  3. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    Too many figs yesterday, but I still slept through until nearly 4am - 6 and a half hours - great by my standards. However the additional figs from my daughters garden showed up in my weight this morning. Back on the band wagon this morning though.

    I had a slow start to the day as my husband is working and I had to get him lunch so I didn't get off to the beach until 7.30am. By then the parking was at a premium but I got the second last park and the car immediately behind me got the last one. There were so many people on the beach walking their dogs up and down that my dog kept getting anxious when she suddenly went looking for me. I was in the shallows. She won't come in. But having sighted me again she would be OK for another 2 minutes.

    I have to say it is a sad state of affairs when I have one of the best bodies on the beach at the age of 62 and 10 kg overweight. While there is the odd young person with a nice figure the average person would be 20 kilos overweight, some much more than that. I had to buy another swim suit as my last one was too baggy with the last half kilo loss. Now just why am I interested in other people's bodies? I never have been since - when???? Oo, ah, back in 1979 or even earlier. Is this the beginning of being interested in sex again? Last interested in the 70s. My husband used to be a twice a day and three times on Sundays guy. I was only really a twice a week person. Now hubby isn't really interested once a week and I'm... well vaguely thinking about it after avoiding it for years.

    I can't get hubby to stick to the diet or any of the things I do and his gut is getting larger again. I'm not nagging him and since I stopped commenting he's lost interest in his waist size numbers. However I think that if I start to get interested in sex then he just might be prepared to take some restrictions for some side benefits. He likes the idea of being sexually active, though at the moment its just the idea.

    I have to travel next week. My sister had a heart attack so I've 9 hours of flying coming up. Not looking forward to that, though I am looking forward to seeing her. She's home again after a double stent operation last Monday.
  4. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    You know out of the hundred odd people on the beach there were only five of us swimming, and only 3 at any one time. Air temperature 24 C (75F), sea 20C (68 F). Beautiful conditions, sandy beach, no waves, gentle swell.
  5. Zorica Vuletic

    Zorica Vuletic New Member

    Aussie N. Wow did the people not swim b/c they felt it was 'cold'? I swam up until Nov. when I got too wussy to go back in lol. Air temp -3'C and water hovering a few degrees above 0'C.

    Ooooo well. Can't wait until it's 24'C here and water 20'C. :p
  6. ashryn

    ashryn New Member

    I did the beach twice this weekend.. It was most awesome.. The waves were perfect for body surfing even if the kiddies and the over50s body board brigade got in the way all the time. I think it's just because you were at the dog beach AN, there was plenty of perv factor at trigg. :)
  7. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    I think you are right ashryn. The dog beach is the only place I go as I'm too busy to go just for myself. I have to fit it in with an additional task. And the dog would be very upset if I went to the beach without her.

    Right today.
    Last night I had the most incredible dreams. Is dreaming part of this process of healing? I had what I felt were really important dreams - chunky, full colour, full story line and they felt as if they had substance. I was in a place where I was at home or at feeling at home at work and I realised that some people had come in with machine guns. They were soldiers from a different country. I had trouble believing this to start with but I sidled out of the room and went into another room where I sank to the floor in disbelief, then got up and told people they should be really careful because there was more than one person with an automatic machine gun out there. They didn't want to believe me, or believed me but didn't think they would cause trouble. When they heard shots they got afraid, but some still didn't want to believe they should change what they were doing. I thought I'm getting out of here. But we were rounded up and told we would be OK just so long as we followed orders. We now had to do what we were told. But the controls were not great and I thought again I'm getting out of here. Most people decided they had no choice but to go along with the new authority. I didn't and decided to leave, leaving behind all these people who thought they had no choice.
    When I slipped out of the place there was a multi-billionaire who said, yes you can come on my yacht. He wasn't sure if we would make it out before we would be captured but given the lack of numbers of controls we might make it. I was one of a few dozen people on the yacht and the billionaire wasn't part of the story after that. The yacht was a super yacht but it had to go down this narrow canal to make it out to sea and freedom. We were mildly anxious about the trip, and I remember being slightly concerned about the beating we would get if we couldn't escape, but it was worth the try. I woke just before I reached where I could see the sea.

    Then another big dream featuring my mother getting fined for wandering along and checking out the train tracks. I had decided these train tracks weren't where I was going, but you had to go by their rules and non railway people weren't allowed on the tracks.

    I'm quite happy with my dream interpretation - I've just put it here for later reference.

    Deep dreams plus deep sleep. I wonder how I would have felt if the air conditioning hadn't woken me with cold at 10pm (to turn it off) then with the heat at 2.30 am to turn it on again for half an hour. Sleeping in over 80 degrees F of heat usually leaves me drained but despite the wakefulness I felt I had a better than usual sleep.

    I'm going to have to change my air con settings for the next two nights as we are in the middle of a heat wave where its over 100 F or thereabouts for 5 days with nights mostly about 80 - 85 inside without the air con. Its supposed to drop down to 70-75 but that is only at the night's coolest and the house doesn't drop that low. I'm off to New Zealand on Wednesday to see my sister who's just out of hospital after heart surgery following a heart attack.
  8. ashryn

    ashryn New Member

    Ooh good dreams! Especially the one that validates your choice to go against the flow.. I wish I could remember mine too.

    Its good weather for putting in a pool tomorrow :)
    good luck with your sis in NZ.. Hopefully you will get the chance to share some of the kruze magic beans with her..
  9. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Good luck seeing your sister. Don't forget to take your own snacks on the plane ........
  10. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    Snacks, Caroline, I thought Jack said no snacks. Just kidding :). I thought I would have BAB and pick up some plain chicken at the airport half way through my journey. i'm only eating twice a day but perhaps I should just take some lamb from home together with some salad instead. Yes, better idea. I'm cooking a lamb roast tomorrow night so I can take some of that with me.
  11. Zorica Vuletic

    Zorica Vuletic New Member

    OMG AN please don't eat airport chicken...:( You might get MSG and weird headaches. Your energy will be zapped that's for sure. Glad to see you're making the lamb. It's not hard to have it in a baggie and eat it like a jerky. Throw some CO oil on it...and voila.

    Ugh. I tested stupid experiments and I deserve what I got....I just though that I was somehow 'immune' now...NOPE. Sigh.
  12. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    I'm not sure what I'll be doing for breakfast the morning after tomorrow - I'll still be in transit. I'm not sure. In the past I would have had eggs, but they are off the menu because of AI. Or nuts, ditto. I'm not able to take any food from home because I can't get food through customs into New Zealand. Now is it better to have eggs which might be problematic, or chicken, ditto, or nothing. I won't feel like eating as it will be like eating at 2.30am home time, but it will be morning and Jack insists we eat within half an hour of dawn/waking. Any ideas anyone?

    I know what you mean about testing experiments. I had a little mango yesterday and I shouldn't have. We eat mango here when its hot and we are in the middle of a heat wave. Its supposed to have the sugar to salt proportions needed for the heat but my body said it was too sugary for me at the moment.

    It is currently 6.20 am and about 85F (31.5 C outside my front door in the shade) outside. It hasn't dropped the temperature below that all night. Ughhh... I went around yesterday with ice stuck down my pants. Its interesting that I can now fit two blocks of ice inside my once tight pants. I've lost a few hundred grams, but I'm losing centimeters from around my pot belly.
  13. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    AN - are you finding 90 or 99% chocolate here? I can get a 85% choc at aldis and woolies but I think they have too much sugar....
  14. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    I've had 90% Cadbury's chocolate but its hard to find. 90% Lindt is easier to find but more expensive. I'm off chocolate at the moment for autoimmune reasons - it sets of a flare, or did last time I had it, though I'm hopeful I will be able to add chocolate and eggs and tomatoes back into my diet at some stage or other.
  15. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    It is hot here today. At 7.00 am it was 32 C (90F). By lunch time it was 40 C (104 F). I do NOT like it this hot. And I especially don't like having to eat a fatty BAB at 6 in the morning in the heat. I get indigestion. I really don't like stuffing myself so full. At all. Grizzle over.

    Getting ready to leave tomorrow morning for NZ. I am likely to be offline for a week from tomorrow as I may not be able to access things when there.
  16. ashryn

    ashryn New Member

    Hey, just a thought on the travelling BAB... If you haven't been to sleep, do you change the timing to coincide with your big sleep in the dark? Can you take beef jerky to eat for BAB? Can you call it intermittent fasting and not eat till after you have slept? Perhaps you could do a protein shake if you will be on the plane.. You can find low carb ones in some of the bodybuilder friendly health food stores. Or do they use egg white for the protein? Mark sisson makes one i think that might be ok in a travelling situation, but I haven't looked too much into them, so this might not be useful. (Nor do I know if anyone sells them in perth or if you have to buy online)

    RE the weather... I'm in aircon so not suffering much, however there are two poor bastards digging up my backyard in 40degree heat. I have given them an esky full of ice and water and soft drinks in the hope they won't die of heat stroke. All the sand dust covering them should be protecting their skin a bit at least.. And they are both wearing thongs so I am a bit happy that they are getting electrons and vitamin D... (But I'm not going to say that to them, I doubt they'll thank me for pollyanna-ing them in this weather)
  17. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Can you take cans of sardines?
  18. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    I hadn't thought of a can of sardines. I could probably take them. Mind you I've not eaten sardines for... decades. They were never my favourite food. We used to have them on toast on sunday nights in my childhood. But it could hold me through in the morning.

    I just got my labs back. Some 13 pages of tests. On the basis of them I self diagnose a continuing leaky gut. As I still haven't heard from Jack about the tests I should order I'll get my husband to scan these tonight or tomorrow morning so Jack can look through them and consider them alongside my history for ordering more tests.

    Basically my fasting glucose is continuing to drop from 5.9 in 2009 to 4.7 now (ref range 3.5-5.4)
    Fe studies all in the middle range.
    LDL is 4.4 (:love:.5) and total cholesterol 7.3 (<5.5) but my HDL is now up to 2.5 (1.1-3.5) and a substantial improvement up from 1.4 a few years back. Coronary risk ratio is down from 4.4 in 2009 to 2.9 now (:love:.5). So its just the LDL that is a bit high.
    Renal function OK except eGFR is slightly higher than it should be. Liver function fine.
    HsCRP is 0.47 (<5.00mg/L) which they characterise as low risk and Jack wants below 0.5. Yay!

    TSH is 1.87 (.5-5.5), an improvement on the 2.83 in 2011 but higher than it should be from what I've read in Jack's stuff.
    Free T4 14 (11.0-21.0)
    Free T3 3.7 (3.1-6.0) I think these are different tests to what Jack does
    This suggests my thyroid is still struggling, though its a vast improvement on the past, especially as I've been able to go off the meds.

    RBC folate 1286 (629-1453)
    Vit B12 is 1465 (139-651) - highly associated with supplementation, liver damage or haematological malignancy. Hope and expect its the supplementation - theres Vit B in with the betaine hydrochloride I take with breakfast.

    Vitamin D 25OH Vit D 101 nmol/L (51-150) Improvement from 5 years ago when I was at about 49. No supplementation over summer.
    Haematology in the normal ranges
    CCP Abs <1 (<5) anticyclic citrullinated peptides

    HLA B27 (flow cytometry) Equivocal - same as last time. I think this is the ankylosing spondylitis AI marker. I used to be positive. Daughter has this condition and its genetic.
    Antinuclear antibodies (ANA) Positive speckled pattern (titre 1:80)
    Parietal cell antibodies negative (<1:20)
    Smooth muscle antibodies (ASM) weak positive (titre <1:80)
    mitochondrial antibodies (AMA) negative (<1:20)
    So there is likely to be something to watch in here.
  19. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    I've just got back from a trip to New Zealand to see my sister who is just getting over having stents put in post heart attack. She was not well by my standards. I'm still processing it all.

    Food-wise I was good and my weight shows that - not quite at the top of my OK range I allow myself. Sleep went to the dogs while I was there as I faced her and my mortality and the general unfairness of life.

    What was exciting was that on the first morning after flying over I was five hours earlier in time. I needed an alarm to wake up but as soon as I drew the curtains and the light streamed in I could feel my hormones change - in the click of fingers. It was amazing. My body said, "oh, its morning. I'll wake up." And I stayed awake till the evening drew in. Then it was an early night. I did need melatonin to go to actually sleep for two nights, but after that I was fine. I've never adapted five hours so quickly in decades.
  20. endless

    endless New Member

    Did you do any grounding for jet lag? I'm curious about that!

    I can imagine it would be hard to eat the BAB in such heat....I'm sitting in snow here so it's a lot easier.

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