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My journey from frustration to success

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Aussie Nana, Jan 15, 2013.

  1. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    But I've just had six weeks off with Christmas and the new year. However I decline to do one of the "lets get your heart racing" exercizes. I used to do 3 karate lessons a week and I backed off to one in September. Then 6 weeks off over Christmas - been on reset since the beginning of December. Do I have to back off to nothing? I'll do it if I have to.

    Shortly I'm about to take the dog to the dog beach and she can dig holes while I sit in the water up to my shoulders. Its 5.30am and I've already had my mussels and bacon cooked in coconut oil.
     
  2. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    Today, Saturday and I put my foot down with my husband. He has wanted me to learn to play bridge so last year I did so and he was so delighted. I've started playing at our local club but over the last couple of weeks my adrenaline has got totally out of hand which makes playing bridge very stressful. I know its only a game, but this is something I have no control over. The adrenaline just runs and runs. I have no reason to be stressed at the moment. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life, we have no outstanding problems as a couple or family and its not psychological stress that is driving this. I do an hour's body awareness and relaxation exercises each day and an hour's meditation before bed, after the cold bath. I can only think that on the way to optimal I've hit a blip. So I decided I have to avoid all stress and told DH that he could go play bridge on his own today as I wasn't going to play till I have this adrenaline run thing sorted out. He was not pleased, but he's gone to play on his own so I'm not stopping him.

    Yesterday morning I took the dog to the dog beach. It was cold - well cool, about 16 C (61F), but we've been having nights up to 24 C (75F) so its all relative. However this meant that the water felt lovely and warm and was easy to go into. The dog stayed on the beach and dug holes to drop her tennis ball into and retrieve over and over again. I wallowed in the shallow water till my fingers went all wrinkly. I think I'll try out another dog beach closer to home tomorrow. Its smaller but as the dog no longer wants to walk and all I want to do is lie in the water it may be OK. The long dog beach I've been going to has strong rips that make me feel uncomfortable and it has lots of holes in the sand so I keep knocking my bottom on sharp ridges of sand as I get swept in and out by the waves. Less than comfortable.

    I've been struggling with BAB in the morning. So rather than not doing it I've been eating as much as I can. I'm currently up to 150g of mussels (up from 100g) and 30g of bacon cooked in 30 mls of coconut oil. I still find it hard to get this amount down at dawn or thereabouts but its getting easier. I no longer start retching at the thought of it and I can "just do it". But the food only lasts me for 5 and a half hours till I'm hungry again. None of this going through till evening stuff yet.

    Lunch yesterday was cold pork, sweet potato, lettuce, avocado with herbs, and cucumber. Not at all exciting.
    Dinner was beef mince with onion and herbs and a little sweet potato.
    Spot iced but didn't face dunk yesterday.

    Spot icing now.

    I keep having to remind myself of my wins. 20 kilos lost (44 lbs) in the last five years. After 60 years of being depressed I am no longer depressed. I don't need thyroid meds at the moment. And at the risk of this being TMI, a little win 3 days after going epipaleo and eating fish twice daily - my vaginal dryness isn't anywhere near as dry any more. And I have a passing interest in sex again after long periods of not thinking about it at all. So things must be improving even if the adrenals are still being over enthusiastic.

    Breakfast: mussels and bacon
    Lunch: red spot emperor fish, sweet potato and green salad
    Now I need to think about what I'll organise for tea.
     
  3. ashryn

    ashryn New Member

    Have you tried bulletproof coffee? It helps you get some extra fat in which is what makes you stay sated all day. ( I think.. There's probably more to it than that.)

    Also.. Wth all the brave warriors here saying it is much easier to eat BAB raw, I thought it might also be easier to eat it cold.. It is. So I make meatballs or sometimes meat muffins and they are MUCH easier to eat if I don't reheat them.

    I struggle to manage that much food in the morning as well, so i have been doing cooking experiments to try to cram as much protein as possible into the smallest portion size and still be able to enjoy the taste.
    If you cook pork mince with chopped bacon, spring onions, garlic and whatever other herbs and spices you like, stir it together in a bowl with a tin of wild red salmon, a bunch of eggs then spoon it into those giant texan muffin tins (make sure you line each case with a strip of bacon!) you will have enough protein in just one of them. Eat cold or hot as you prefer. Depending on how fatty the meat is, you might want to cut them in half and butter them before eating, or pour on some avocado oil.. I just gauge this by how long it takes to get hungry again..

    Also... I thought we weren' supposed to do potatoes, even sweet ones when trying to reset? (Correct me if i'm confused.. I may have not paid much attention because I hate sweet veg anyway) Doesn't the starch have the same effect as sugar and make you do the insulin thing that makes you get hungry as soon as you have cleared the carb instead of burning your stored fuel?

    Hope some of this is useful [​IMG]
     
  4. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    I weigh my sweet potatoes and make sure I come in under the 25 g of carbs I'm allowed. I don't eat much. As I can't eat potatoes, other nightshades, eggs or nuts I feel VERY deprived if I have to give up the sweet potatoes as well. Its a matter of the changes I can make - life is the art of the possible. I thought I could never eat at 5.15 am but I've done it. Ditto the amount of fish. I'm not a fan of mussels, nor really of lots of fish, but I am a fan of getting better. It sure as hell beats the alternative. So the sweet potatoes are just a nominal amount sliced thinly and they trick my psychological mind - soaked and cooked in coconut oil. And no they don't seem to make me want more sugar type foods, though too much fruit does. For the first time I'm no longer craving. I was out during the week and they were handing out large servings of black forest cake and I looked at it and didn't feel any positive feelings for it at all. "You must have some," I was told. No thanks, I smiled and walked away. Unheard of for me. And over the last few days I don't feel I "need" fruit, like I did last week.

    I've never been a coffee drinker, so the bullet proof coffee isn't for me. I'd rather just take a spoonful of oil, just as it is, though I use it to heat my meat through. Ill look in to the sweet potato thing though. I thought it was OK just so long as one didn't eat more than the 25 g of carb during the day.

    I'm eating the fish for breakfast and lunch so I can eat a "normal" meal in the eveing with my husband, albeit a smaller one than previously. He's never been a big fish eater either, though he's getting it almost daily now.

    My big issue at the moment is sleep. I really, really want to sleep better. And get rid of these adrenaline runs. And be able to breathe at night without a decongestant. And get my brain working clearly. Is that it? I think so ... Till I think of the next symptom I want to get rid of.

    Ashryn, keep the advice and ideas coming. I need all the feedback I can get.
     
  5. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    sounds like you are doing well AN ... You can have green tea and make it bullet proof - Diane does that and says she now prefers it to coffee. You are doing so well with the fish. All of a sudden I am not - since Christmas day actually. I had oysters and shrimp and yabbies and threw it all up. Tonite I made some salmon ceviche and some lamb heart tartare and I really struggled with both. All I can think of - is having a big thick juicy steak! Before Christmas - I ate fish almost exclusively - didn't want anything else ... don't know what is going on. I love fruit too!
     
  6. ashryn

    ashryn New Member

    I don't think I can help much with the adrenaline thing, because I love it! Part of the reason I love BPC is the adrenaline rush I get about 10 mins after drinking it. It happened every day I was drinking it for the first month, and It made me feel so alive.. It doesn't happen so much now though which is sad for me but maybe hopeful for you since you don't like it. That rush makes me feel smart and fast and connected to everything.. Like i am actually paying attention to more than one thing at a time. I don't find it unpleasant at all, I wouldn' call it anxiety though, even though the symptoms seem to match up. I dunno if this is an example of how your perception of something can change things.. Is it possible that the anxiety you feel is your brain starting to work clearly? Maybe it takes a bit of getting used to, or time to settle down? (Just guessing, I have no real idea)

    Re sleep, remind me: What are you doing circadian rhythm wise? No artificial light after sunset, looking at the sun in the day, finishing dinner by 6pm, getting into bed by 10pm? Erm... Have you tried making some oxytosin? (You don't have to answer that, just go read the 'lets talk about sex' thread in the cave if you haven't already)

    It took me a few weeks to get the good sleep.. I actually never thought sleep was a problem for me till I started going to bed earlier and struggled to fall asleep with super itchy legs that felt like things were crawling on me. (Cold baths with salt, and a concoction of salt plus coconut oil rubbed into my legs as exfoliant was the trick to stop this, but it was annoying to have to do it every night for a while.) Eventually my body got the message that 10pm was the new bed time, and I could fall asleep ok, but I didn't sleep all the way through till I found some blue blockers to wear from 7pm onwards... When I get it all right, I BOUNCE out of bed in the morning. After a couple of night outings not wearing the glasses, and the resulting poor sleep, I just wear them, and to hell with people who laugh.. I tell them it makes me sleep really well, and that I'm aging backward towards 23 again. My daughter is wearing them now too.. Man my parents look at us funny when we go for dinner!

    Breathing when sleeping was once a big drama for me as well, but cutting out dairy years ago sorted it mostly, and then cutting sugar completely made any lingering annoyance go away, but I assume you have already done these things, so I'm not sure what to suggest. Losing weight makes DH not snore.. I didn't notice that till he recently put some on and kept me awake many nights with his "soothing ocean sounds" He has lost weight just by living in my newly paleo house (bastard) so he doesn't snore any more either.
    Hopefully someone else will have more useful information for you than mine!

    Gah, sorry to hijack your journal..
     
  7. ashryn

    ashryn New Member

    So i just went back to read your first post and i notice you cold bath at night.. Some people have said the cold at night makes it hard to sleep well, so maybe you could cut that for a week or two and see how you sleep? (I sleep well with cold baths at night in summer, but I am weird) maybe the cold makes you produce too much cortisol? Since you're earthing and CTing in the mornings at the beach, it should be ok to give yourself a break at night... Maybe you're trying to do it all at once and it's stressing out your system?
     
  8. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    What is it with this CT? I came home from the beach this morning and didn't feel like a warm shower, so had a cold one instead. What? Me? It would have been unthinkable a week ago, yesterday even. But this morning it felt right and I even felt indignant when the water started coming in warm and I had to check to see if I had accidentally turned on the hot tap instead. But no it was just the warmth from the water coming through the house.

    I tried a different dog beach this morning but it wasn't really satisfactory as the beach contained a reef and to get out to the safe swimming I had to do a detour around the reef and then out too far to be able to keep an eye on dog. So I sat and lay in the shallows allowing the waves to wash over me reckoning it was not only the cool water but also the grounding that was important. I stayed in for only half an hour as it was quite hard work staying stable in a half lying position - with as much of my body in touch with the water and ground as possible as the waves rolled over me. I had to avoid being carried on to the reef only a few feet away. So needing to avoid stressing my body more than I should I gave up and came home to my cold shower. The shower was even what I would call nice.

    In the CT & hormones thread here Jack said, "CT main goal is to slow the biochemical reactions in your body to preserve mitochondrial energy." I had been wondering if my lack of desire to do anything was an indicator that my thyroid was slowing down now I was off my meds but if I'm supposed to be slowing down to help healing then that's OK. I will slow down, move more slowly, more mindfully and see where that gets me.

    Re the bullet proof tea and coffee - that is just putting a spoonful of coconut oil into it isn't it? Or is there more to it? If someone could clarify that for me it would be helpful.

    I must get some more red spot emperor fish out of the freezer and see if I can make some ceviche with it this afternoon. Lamb for dinner at noon. My BAB is up to 180g of mussels and 45 g of bacon cooked in a good 30+ml of coconut oil this morning.

    Ashryn, I've had these adrenaline runs before but last time it was related to a deficiency in molybdemon - a trace element - and it disappeared overnight when I supplemented with it. I had been having what had been closer to panic attacks each morning and no amount of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) was helpful at all, which is not surprising under the circumstances. I tried the moly again but it didn't work this time, so presumably I have another something else I'm missing instead, so I look forward to getting my supplements from the US. I see that my order via DHL is at the Perth hub, so ordered on WEdnesday evening, arrived here in Perth on Sunday am. Now that is service. But sadly I forgot to get the D-ribose so I'm going to have to do another order shortly as I can't get the d-ribose here, unless you have found a source. So if you want some supplements we can't get here then if we share the postage (only $8 at the moment) then that will cut the cost even further.

    Re sleep. I usually go to have my cold bath about 8.30 then to my room to meditate, then to sleep, so seldom have much artificial light after dark. I don't sleep well though last night I slept through my normal 12.30 am wake up to wake up at the (usual) 3.30 time. Then after an hour awake I went back to sleep till 5.45. This is a good night for me. Up before six to start cooking BAB.

    I know what you mean about the snoring. I snore badly and my husband makes all sorts of funny noises. He used to keep me awake and even ear plugs were not satisfactory so I sleep in a different room. Oxytocin opportunities have to be made but neither of us have much interest at the moment, though occasionally... Well lets just say occasions are very slowly starting to increase.

    You say, "Maybe you're trying to do it all at once and it's stressing out your system?" I don't know - perhaps Jack could comment. Yes I am trying to get it all right, and its amazing to find out how often I've only got part of the picture, so that is one reason why I'm being so public about my journey. I really want to have optimal health so need to know what I'm not getting right and fix all the little bits.

    Today I feel really slow. So I'll put the dishes in the sink and have a hand or two of bridge with my husband in between the chores.
     
  9. ashryn

    ashryn New Member

    Yeah, BPC is just adding some CO. I started with a teaspoon, now I use 1/4 cup! But you have to have real coffee, not instant..
    When you CT at night, do you have the bathroom light on?
    Good on you for having a quiet day.. Thats what Sundays are for [​IMG]
     
  10. endless

    endless New Member

    Wow, you sound like you already have a great protocol happening....I don't think you have to worry about keeping contact with the sand while you are in the ocean, the grounding energy goes through water doesn't it?

    I think with BPC you're 'supposed' to blend the butter or coconut oil in with a blender to froth it up and keep it mixed in, but I don't know if it matters if you don't mind it floating on top!
     
  11. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    If your mitochondria blow......BPC will deplete you of one of the Mitochondrial Rx key components......if you are off you better back off the coffee. This is the context Dave does not share with the folks.......cause I dont think he realizes it.
     
  12. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    Just got around to watching the hour and a half video about EMF and its impact on health. Hmmm... so that would explain why I do not like sleeping in the office even when it is the only cool room in the house. I thought it was the electronic lights - though last time, despite covering all of them I still found myself deserting the cool 28 C (82F) for my overheated bedroom at the other end of the house.
     
  13. ashryn

    ashryn New Member

    Haha! I just finished watching it too.. I wonder if EMF is the reason whales beach themselves?
    Thinking of banning the mobile-as-alarm clock from out bedroom.. Or building a faraday cage!
     
  14. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    I h-a-v-e s-l-o-w-e-d d-o-w-n.

    My walk with the dog took an extra 15 minutes this morning and I just don't want ot move, or really do anything much. I felt this coming and was forewarned that the purpose of CT was to slow us down, so I'm taking it on trust that something good will come of it and not worry that this might be my thyroid crashing again.

    Had another 2 hours at the beach yesterday evening, mostly building sand castles at the high wave line as it was too dangerous for us to swim due to the steep sand gradient and bad rips. It was lovely that my 13 year old granddaughter said this was her best day at the beach, ever, along with this day and that day and...

    Now to start pottering about and doing some of the work that needs to be done in between what will be nana naps during the day.
     
  15. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    My granddaughter slowed down today too. Is that as a result of grounding? Or just the result of an hour of pushing sand around making castles which were then broken down by another wave?

    Had a large BAB this morning and didn't feel like anything to eat till 3pm so had a half size lunch to carry me through to dinner tonight.

    Supplements arrived today. Not sure whether I should take one of everything or whether I should introduce one each day. Have left a question for Jack.
     
  16. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Sounds like you are having lots of fun at the beach with your granddaughter AN. Those are such precious memories. I wonder if we do slow down with a lot go grounding? Glad you asked about the supps. When I spoke to Dr. k. A couple of weeks ago he said it might be my mitochondria but we weren't there yet - so he didn't recommend anything yet. I am going to get the mag tho.
     
  17. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    I started taking the K2, coenzyme Q10, and 3 magnesiums. I don't know if its related or not but I can't organise myself out of a paper bag today. I just can't string two consecutive thoughts together. I don't like feeling like this. I had hoped they would make me feel better, not worse. Or perhaps I would have just felt like this anyway. I think I'll do my relaxation exercises. I don't have to think, just follow instructions on teh DVD.
     
  18. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I hope you are feeling better tomorrow - I think there is some kind of flu going around here - my daughter has it now.
     
  19. Aussie Nana

    Aussie Nana New Member

    Feeling better today, thanks Caroline, due largely to a great night's sleep, better than I've had in a long time. Last night I got all my cravings back badly and binged out on fruit. It probably wasn't bad by most standards but it is likely to have blown my leptin reset out of the water. I don't know what was going on yesterday, but something changed. I felt great when I got up this morning. Not so much now. Its like someone let the air out of my tyres and I've just deflated.

    I tried bullet proof tea to get some more coconut oil in to me at BAB. I won't try that again - a layer of coconut oil spoiling my tea, nah, not for me. I usually enjoy my tea but it made it tasteless, no worse than tasteless. So I think I'll put the kettle on and have another and nicer cuppa. Time to check on the grandchildren. I will be pleased when they have gone back to school.
     
  20. diane

    diane Gold

    For my bulletproof tea - I put some butter and CO oil in - and then blend it. Kinda makes it like a latte. [​IMG]
     

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