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Discussion in 'The Kruse Longevity Center' started by Jack Kruse, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator


    It’s not wrong to need people, especially family/spouses. But some of our biggest disappointments in life are the result of expectations we have of others that they can’t ever possibly meet. This is why cutting family and those closest to you often pays the largest dividends. This is a counterintuitive truth bomb.

    Have you ever wondered why your friends, spouse, and family discourage you from taking risks? To put it nicely, if people don’t support you let them fuck off. I said this to our Farm members in for this weekend. Family/spouses are particular problems for those looking to change their life. Why? They tend to be crabs. Crabs in a bucket mentality...If you put one crab in a bucket, it can claw its way up and out. But something interesting happens if you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket. If one of them tries to climb out, the rest pull it back into the bucket.
    Then, if the crab tries to climb out a second time, the other crabs gang up on the crab again, and may actually begin to break its claws to completely hinder its progress. This means that none of the crabs end up escaping because they are all working against each other.
    Unfortunately, this type of mentality is often transferred to human behavior. The crab mentality is a metaphor for how humans respond when they see someone else around them achieving some kind of self-improvement that they can't achieve themselves. Don’t be a crab in a bucket!! If your family or spouse act like this demand change or show them a life without you in it. NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU DESERVE https://www.nateliason.com/blog/subconscious-sabotage

  2. Karen & Glen C.

    Karen & Glen C. New Member

    Needed this bomb.
  3. drezy

    drezy New Member

    That quirk of behavior has always fascinated me.

    It's shocking to realize when it is happening in your circle.

    I think that life and nature must offer an overwhelming number of ways for a species, group, or individual to become "de-selected" for long term survival or health span or any number of "wins" compared to far fewer ways to be "selected".

    Although it's painful I think it follows that, regardless of how divorced we think we are from nature, a modern person's ability to shrewdly de-select certain thoughts, things, and people from our "bucket" is very critical.
  4. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    Now it may become easier to go narcissistic way.
    Nice guys finish last.
    I must have wasted at least three months of my precious life carrying for my dying Dear Wife, instead of going for a nice vacation in the Tropics.

    Last edited: Sep 17, 2019
  5. drezy

    drezy New Member

    If you're taking it all this way I'm not sure I clarified my point and this feels raw and personal. I'm not sure this is the optimal format to communicate this but I don't shy away from raw either. That's the zone where you start to get to know people.

    You know enough about how smoking destroyed my mom. My dad is barely able to care for her properly and refuses much help.

    If my son ends up asking me to help him choose between two gals of equal enough attributes except that one smokes are you telling me that you'd NOT advise a deselection so that my boy could avoid the crushing fallout of a habit that my dad is now enslaved to?
    Sean Waters and Anne V like this.
  6. Karen & Glen C.

    Karen & Glen C. New Member

    For me it's all about sensation, I mean reading the air. That's been interesting going through the mito changes but eventually you stay clear of obstacles.
    Sean Waters and drezy like this.
  7. ElectricUniverse

    ElectricUniverse New Member

    As you know, individuals 'deselect' themselves all the time through bad judgement, shortsightedness and outright stupidity. Most of the time these mistakes are not fatal but often they are.

    That's why the Darwin Awards (they are real) are given out (allusion to survival of the fittest idea). Also humorously referred to as 'chlorinating the gene pool'.

    Now, most of us are equally stupid at some times and in some situations, but some idiots (especially the breathtakingly careless and risk-takers) are more equal than others.
    Sean Waters likes this.
  8. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    The same thing is true in relationships........what does not kill you strengthens you longer term. Relationships are not about passive agreements and merely spending time together: they are living, breathing entities, and if you don’t actively take care of them, they will suffer and die a slow painful death. If you want your relationship to be strong, you can’t just hope for it — you need to put in the effort.

    Sean Waters and Patrick K like this.

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