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How can I get others to accept that I need to change my kids diet?

Discussion in 'Optimal Kids' started by fabbecky, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. fabbecky

    fabbecky New Member

    Okay, I am hard at work getting myself to optimal, but I am hitting a road block a bit getting my kids there. My husband is not at all interested in cutting out grains, and I will have bread or rice on hand for him with a meal. But I NEED to cut grains and I suspect dairy out of my kids diet. Too often I have friends and family (including the hubby) who will hand them food I don't want them eating when I am trying to change over their diet. I am also trying to enforce "eat what mommy makes, or be hungry" but it is hard - even harder with a 2yr old and 4yr old.

    Any tips on how to convince others to respect my needs and choices for my kids?
  2. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    There's no convincing. You can demand that they respect your wishes for your own body, but it gets a little tricker with the kids because you share parenting. Maybe compromise by asking for a 30-60 day try-it-my-way test and note how any changes/improvements in the kids health/behavior? That might sway the family a little bit, or at least leave the door open for them to consider another point of view. The 'eat what mommy makes' thing is simply parents not circumventing each other. How would your husband feel if he said bedtime at 7:30 and you went right behind him night after night letting them stay up until 9 while he took care of them during that hour and a half period? Wishing you well on getting everyone on the same page.
  3. Phoenix

    Phoenix New Member

    I think it's impossible. I would just try to feed them the best that I could, and whatever happens with other people, so be it. It's important that you heal yourself for their sake. Concentrate on you. The kids and husband will be fine. You may not think they're paying attention, but they are. As the kids grow, you'll be their healthy role model. As they grow and see how healthy mom is, and how easily she keeps up with the diet and CT, they will follow suit.

    This is coming from a 55 year old mom of 5 wonderful adult children who surprise me every day with how much they remember and follow what their mom said and did when they were little ones.
  4. quelsen

    quelsen New Member

    my tongue is only slightly in my cheek as i say.....

    last time i check mamma made the rules in most houses....

    if mamma aint happy aint nobody happpy
  5. quelsen

    quelsen New Member

    Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego made the same deal with the Babylonian Dietician, worked out pretty well too as years later they became fireproof ( i think that is the way that story goes isnt it?)
  6. fabbecky

    fabbecky New Member

    Yeah... that's not generally how it goes in my house :) hubby is usually pretty good, my biggest "beef" is that I spend all weekend getting them eating well and the subsequent changes are wonderful, but then they go to daycare and preschool and it all goes back downhill. My 4yr old is in a special needs preschool (he was non-verbal until 3 and is at least ADHD...). My plan at this point is along the lines of I will fix myself until summer and just sort of "do what I can" with them until June. After June I should have some months to actually sit down and get them on track the way I want without interference...
  7. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Misty and I talked in surgery today and she is going to come in here and tell you how it really rolls in her house. She was being way to nice.........I todl her I wanted her to give you the flavor of how it rolls in my house and hers.
  8. quelsen

    quelsen New Member

    well school is a different animal. having no kids i bow out of this part of the regularly schedule conversation
  9. fabbecky

    fabbecky New Member

    I'm just so happy because I have a brain again! Between LRx and CT I can think - and think well :) I got a 97 on a paper I wrote, the paper took me an hour instead of the 4-5 it took the rest of my class, I KNOW I got an A on my midterm with an extremely difficult professor... It just feel so good to actually feel my synapses firing again when it feels like they have been dead for 5 years (since I got pregnant with my 5yr old - 3 pregnancies, 2 kids all within 1.5 years... hormone were MESSED UP!).
  10. Shijin13

    Shijin13 Guest

    Here's what I did last august. I let DH feed the kids what ever he wanted for a week for B&D (We don't control daycare b/c of state/fed rules on what the kids eat etc)

    then I fed the kids a kid BAB version... guess what - tantrums and melt downs decreased during my week. Kids each get 1 egg at bkfst + any meat they want and some fruit.

    I'm still working on DH on the grains - he's gong wheat/gluten free for lent and he hasn't had any back pain (hear that Dr K!) but I don't think he's going to stick w/it... at least until I get him in to see the local spine doc and get a referral to Dr K!

    DD knows she shouldn't eat wheat - b/c it gives her eczema - when we were at my mom's (who's suddenly dx her self as gluten intolerant) told me oh a little wheat won't kill them... but the reality is it can!

    Since DH has been wheat/gluten free - the only time the kids might have it is at dcp - but since they're bolivian most of the food dcp cooks is from their traditional diet of quinoa and rice (I can live w/that!)

    What Jon says is right - if mama ain't happy - no one in the house is happy b/c we all know who owns house rules

    One thing you can do - is throw out all that isn't Paleo/primal - if its got a grain - out it goes... If DH wants to have it.. he can have it on his time and not in the house..

    Dr K...looking fwd to seeing what Miss Misty has to say... also would love to see what Mrs K has to say too!
  11. KiwiLauren

    KiwiLauren Gold

    I also recall what Drs M&M posted on the blog re: the trial they did with the kids in their clinic. The rules were bacon/meat and eggs for breakfast (as much as they wanted) and again meat for dinner. Lunches (and the lunchbox for school) was open slather (only rule was that they couldn't have sugar treats, but they were allowed carbs, etc). And the kids walked to and from school. They found that over time not only did behaviour problems go away but that they lunches stopped being eaten. So... this leads me to believe that if you can work on the breakfast then the rest will gradually decrease. Maybe get everyone on board with the BAB first and then see how it goes? Some of these changes are huge and are very challenging to family culture. Everyone's approach needs to fit with the relationships as well as the food needs. I am lucky that I have DH on board, but if I didn't, I think I'd get strategic like Drs M&M did. Good luck!
  12. fabbecky

    fabbecky New Member

    That sounds like a really good strategy. I have been making my 4yr old a breakfast "milkshake" with coconut milk and eggs and some berries and he really likes it - even more when I increased the coconut milk this weekend. I usually pack the shake, and 2-3 sausages for his breakfast at school, a Greek yogurt for lunch (he loves them) with almonds and some fruit. I am looking forward to getting the Paleo Parents book this week and going through it for some new meal ideas. :)
  13. Casey

    Casey New Member

    Is the special needs school aware of all the trials which show cutting out grains and dairy (in particular) can help children with the symptoms your 4 year old shows? I'm from Oz, so I don't know how preschool/childcare works in the US but is there a way to take your own food for your kids? With a medical certificate or something? My son doesn't go to care, but if he did, there's no way his body would be able to tolerate the food they serve.
  14. fabbecky

    fabbecky New Member

    His school is aware of the connection between grains an ADHD - they are fairly progressive on that kind of thing, and they are totally on board with keeping to dietary restrictions. For that part of it, I am at fault. I have not been sleeping like I should since taking antibiotics about a month ago, and have not really been able to get up and pack all his food. Plus a lot of times I pack stuff, and it comes home looking as if it were never touched, so I don't know if he didn't like it / want it or if they just didn't offer it. He is way behind age appropriate communication levels (about a year behind, comprehension wise) so I can't really ask him what happened and get an accurate response. But I may be working at his school for my school for a few months, so that may help me some...

    Off to make his breakfast/lunch/snack now and pack up his lunch box for tomorrow :)
  15. Casey

    Casey New Member

    It is a challenge having children with special needs PLUS having our own health problems. DS can communicate and is at home and I still have the problem of untouched food which can be really disheartening considering the effort we put in to it! Hope your health improves soon. One step at a time...... Improving your health and giving your kids a decent breakfast is a great start.
  16. MJ*

    MJ* New Member

    That would be awesome! Thanks for asking her.
  17. MJ*

    MJ* New Member

    That's an excellent study, and I think a great way to get kids started on this...I may just try this with my teenager to slowly get over the carbs - that is soooo hard for teens...with a big protein breakfast, after awhile you really are not hungry for lunch! It's amazing... Also Fabbecky, I love it that you are open to all this...I don't think you'll regret it!
  18. MJ*

    MJ* New Member

    I like your mamma already! :cool:
  19. mumone

    mumone New Member

    I totally agree, give yourself a month and concentrate on you.:) when you feel better, it will flow on through the family; dont beat yourself up over the kids just yet, do your best, keep reminding yourself that you are doing your best for now.

    The time will come ( and not that far away) when you will be stronger and your brain clearer... but dont stress over it now, you are only delaying your own healing.
  20. donkjellberg

    donkjellberg Silver

    I got my 6 year old son on board first. Mama is coming around and that is key. Both parents have to be in or it just won't work. My 4 year old daughter will come around after Mama. Perseverance can be golden. If I can get her to experience more of the benefits and help provide a road map of meal courses she can prepare that may help. Paleo recipe books here we come . . .

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