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Hope Rising....

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Hope, Mar 29, 2013.

  1. bonsaiz

    bonsaiz New Member

    Nice story hope. It is really important to care about yourself as no one can play your role more better then you. I like that as it will motivate the students which feel that they have lost hope. Thank you for sharing your story.
    Certificate IV in Training & Assessment
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2013
  2. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Dear Inger, wow...that sounds so difficult, growing up. How wonderful that you have followed your gut - you knew better. You should have lived with my mom instead, and I with your family. She always talks about me going into the sun. All my life I pretty much avoided lying in it. Why? I'd always get red right away. The only vacations I'd get a tan are those hiking in the mountains, LOL. But now it's different, thanks to you all and Jack.

    I would have never known honestly that I was wrong and my mom was right on this. She still sits in the sun....but she has other issues, sigh. Very sad.

    Thanks so much for your encouragement...as always!
     
  3. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Christi, ATLP and Audrey - thanks you guys too for the kind words. I appreciate so much. Not sure I am ready for a success story - have a very long way to go but so thankful for seeing changes. Definitely more when I am OFF line....away from anything screened (except the mosquito screen).....

    Day X update..I stopped counting days on magnetico

    I learned this week from a small lab re check that my DHEA is getting great, in the top 25% now but pregnenolone is still low, and ft3 and 4 also lower on even compounded t3 meds....so the MD suggested to up my ATP support that I take with iodoral. So I think I know now partly why my sleep is better......DHEA has much to do with it as does L-theanine, I am a total believer in it (didn't work in 2008 when I first tried it then). Also doubling pregnenolone to 200mg and can't wait to see if that does anything at all.

    SO busy getting ready for trip, stressing out/worrying about my mom too..she has weird moods, partly from pain...partly bc I get on her nerves, I guess, as does everyone after some time. She has so many physical issues and heart pain and mostly lots of arthritis pain but won't listen. This morning she got upset with me because I didn't know some news about some thieves stealing 45 million dollars and went back to old things she'd say, like I know nothing that goes on in the world and what am I doing all day (well, working, getting ready, etc) I hope our time will be fun and I will have a chance to rub her back/feet, which she usually likes esp. when I use some of my essential oils. I hope too she is OK right now as she hasn't picked up the phone when I called her back....tonight. Though often she says Friday and Sat she doesn't wanna talk on the phone. WHen I go over, hope to get in the ocean in northern Germany, with water temps only 9 degrees C. We'll see how deep I can get in. Will sit in sand as often as possible and channel Audrey even if it's cold. Am packed as minimally as possible. Made more progress cleaning my home office, closets, etc. And it feels so so good. It's easier to spend time meditating in the morning, especially when there are no machines running outside, as the bedroom is so nice and...clean and open now. It's amazing what vacant/organized space does for mental calm for me. And I love putting on votive candles at night, unscented, in my Finnish candle holder and my salt candle holder...it is such luxury to me.

    Loving the tanning booth, up to 13 minutes and it feels so so good to me. Really need those UV rays. Want to see if I can go some in Germany too, we'll see. Starting to see some changes in skin, LOTS more freckles as I used to get them, and a slightest of tans. Sun allergy nearly gone, though saw some on my back now......that part of me sees the real sun so little. LOL.

    I will surely miss the magnetico while away. And the pitch dark I have created here at home. But it's OK.....I will do my best while there. I am pampering my body.....putting on some oils, like sesame, almond or coconut. Never took the time for that before. Mind still changing.....I can look in the mirror and think I look pretty today - very new for me. Still get tired when on PC too much.....but working on it and when I return, will get rid of wireless for good, I hope. Staying grounded and being outside sure helps.

    My digestion is changing too, it appears and I can't wait for my GI fx update.

    Had early PMS symptoms - greater fatigue - but early, not right before a new cycle, kinda strange: went away and got better....until CD1 came along when I got tired, and super busy too. But I still slept great, which is amazing. Dreams are super vivid and I remember them so well, first thing in the morning. Too funny sometimes.

    Digestion is changing too.....need to keep up with T3 meds, tried going without. Doubled ATP late this week and will see if that contributes to anything.
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2013
  4. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Vickie, have wondered how you are lately! Magnetico is so worth it. Not sure if I am detoxing metals more from it, though hair analysis has shown since Feb I am dumping mercury.....though I think it's from better iodine status, finally. I do strongly believe the magnetico is helping me sleep better. MUCH more than most supplements I have taken....and I am totally reducing some of my supplements. To me it's a no brainer....though it's a huge expense yes, but it will have to come from someplace else. I do live in a bad, bad EMF bath outside DC so I don't wanna be without it. I think you live in a better area so maybe you're OK without it. IDK but I would try. I am actually saving for more pads.....Jack at least used to use 40 gauss, double what I have, so that tells me a lot.

    DH hasn't seen much difference in himself, but he's even more depleted than me, I believe, and more dehydrated bc he barely drinks a thing. SO hard to coax him into drinking water. Ugh. But he sees a change in me, and is now happily turning off wifi - a huge success bc that is something we argued over, and he'd send me down to do it myself (router is in basement). Now he does it without my asking.....whoa.

    Try to be patient with metals. They will come out when they're ready. I'd suggest reducing EMF as much as you can, truly......to me, I don't want to be without M. and I wish they'd create a travel version but I don't think they can....so I am dreaming of a B&B with magnetico in it. Can you imagine, opening a place where people can experience magnetico to try when they sleep? In fact I think the company should do it too......when I laid on it at first, boy, I could totally feel the energy rush into me, in a great, calming way. I totally believe it works..no question. It just restores natural conditions......to some degree.

    Hope this helps and good luck...and when you get a chance, I'd love to read an update on your journal!
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2013
  5. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Diane, I lost my clear when I started using computers heavily, in 1999....whoa. Crazy stuff. So thankful there is a way back, at least some...
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2013
  6. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Thanks Bonsaiz...I'd love to read about you too...do you have a journal? I shall search for it....
     
  7. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Great sleep but rough day....so many more people pregnant in my life...so happy for them all but sorry for myself. It's just hard...so much in my life has been so HARD....others seem to have it easy and glide through life like an eagle. I know this sounds horrible.

    I am so so thankful for better sleep consistently and all my brain and body are teaching me from it....but some days like today it's so hard to think this dream is only maybe for others. I know I can still get better....I see the change in me and my sleep the last few weeks even and it is a huge miracle....but the whole baby thing...is still my greatest sadness. Even when I get away from it and find joy in my garden, my DH who keeps telling me he loves me these days and how pretty he thinks I am etc which is so sweet.....and in being barefoot, outside, meditating, enjoying just BEING, enjoying my decluttered and minimal bedroom or even my minimal luggage for my trip which feels so so freeing...when I get reminded....as in this weekend and today, Mother's Day, of what I don't have.....it's hard. And it sucks. No other way to look at it.

    I know this is bad but it is also what I see right now. UGH. I hope I get lots of chances to ground...I will miss the darkness at night for the 10 days I won't be able to control the light much at night.....
     
  8. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Hope - Please focus on the things that you do have ...... you have such a loving and caring spirit and I see so many changes in you and your husband is seeing them too. You have come such a long way these last couple of months - please truly relax and enjoy your trip and the time with your Mom ..... maybe you will see her with new eyes and let go of the bad stuff and all the hurt and just enjoy her for who she is. I think it is hard to see people as they are and enjoy that instead of wishing for something else. We want people to see us for who we are and we need to extend the same courtesy especially to those we love.
    I know that I do that and am trying to be better. It is so hard to let go of all our baggage .... even when it is dragging us down - we can't seem to let go. Dr. K. has said ...our past doesn't have to be our future. I love that quote and I never seem to get it quite right!

    Hope - you are a lovely and intuitive woman - breathe that in and let everything sad go --- we don't know what life has in store for us ..... prepare to be amazed!

    Think of where we were a year ago ......and now look at us .... so much to be grateful for.....and so many new and extraordinary people in our life .........
     
  9. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Thanks, Audrey....you are too kind. I sure am grateful for all the good, yes........no doubt. Still have a long way to go of course.......sending you many hugs.....
     
  10. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Hope.. I am thinking of you. I hope you are doing well and enjoying your time in Germany! Maybe.. maybe if things go like I have planned (and often they do not..lol) I am in Germany this fall.. and maybe we can meet there one day :)
     
  11. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Hi Inger, I just now saw your post! Thanks so much. I was thinking of you so much too.....wondering how you are, and Christi and Audrey too. It was awesome being away from the net (though I did miss this forum!!) - I felt so so good there, even in the big city. And yes I am hoping we can meet there one day too. that would be SUCH a dream!! When I was in the Baltic ocean (walking along) I was 'channeling' you..it was freezing water (Well, to me, it was about 8 degrees celsius which is hot for you I am sure)....and my ankles hurt badly the first couple days, but eventually I got in up to my hips, even in wind and rain (which we had a lot of). But I was wishing I could be like a seagull, and fly by your place in Finland.....

    I am so excited for you and all that will and is happening.

    I feel badly as I haven't been able to update this journal at all since I just got back and overwhelmed with all the work to do. Plus I'm on a drug...I have a parasite and yeast and have to take a drug for three days now and again in a couple weeks that makes me tired and feel funky but it's just the detox.

    But I can't tell you how much I MISS Europe and I'm only back a couple days. The air, the water. Our house smells so badly (funky, moldy, when it's so hot and humid now), and the CHLORINE - I can smell it rising from our three toilet bowls. It used to be only in the basement but now also main floor and upstairs. Yuck. How I wish we had a whole house filter, as I do not like to bathe in that water at all. the smell is so strong. Ugh.

    Anyway I better go but thank you for thinking of me. :)
     
  12. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Hi Hope ..... welcome back! I can't wait to hear about your trip. so sorry you aren't feeling the best. How was your sleep while you were away? You must have missed your magnetico??? How did you manage with your food? That is such a big problem for me when travelling.....
     
  13. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Hi Audrey, thanks for saying Hi! :) It was an amazing trip though I can't help being sad about being back here again. I miss the whole thing, though I know it'd be different if I lived and worked there. But life is different there, and the air is better, especially in houses....I was thinking of you too..and was enjoying the beach in spite of a lot of cold and rainy days for mid to late May, and longing to go to a place like it more often. I realized how much the ocean feeds not just my body and soul. I really need nothing. No TV, no entertainment, no nothing. Just some food, some protection if rain or wind (one day we had hail and we sat in covered beach chairs, the only people on the beach left, crazy enough, with thunder and lightning...but it was so so good. I have been so disconnected from nature, I was craving that experience (and luckily we have no tornadoes there or anything) and I was so proud of my mom to stay out with me, until it was time to go back for dinner. I was freezing and wet that day, and my mom too, but we didn't care...and then to get back to the apt we rented, we had to clean off our sandy feet, which we both did in a puddle that was created from all the rain. I felt like a kid....and I was positively shocked that my mom followed me in my footsteps...she didn't care what it looked like.

    She was really good about making sure we are outside a lot of the day each day. She can't walk as much but still did much more than I thought given all her pain which has been getting worse especially this past year. Almost every day she'd ask, 'how many hours were we outside?'...she definitely is old school in that way.

    We spent as much time on the beach and it was so so great. I do feel terribly sad about my mom and try to send her positive thoughts as she is in such pain from arthritis. Still forces herself to cook and clean and iron even nightgowns and bedding and so on but it just breaks my heart. She has no one to help and won't ask for it as long as possible, but to see her in such pain - so hard. Yet she won't change her diet. She worked so so hard all her life..but her diet is making things worse. She won't change a thing but thankfully she does like to eat fish now and then, at least, and we ate a ton up at the ocean. And she actually wanted to have my Juil sandals....and asked what the copper drops mean. I couldn't believe she asked if she could keep them, and I couldn't have been happier to give them to her. I also gave her my beloved shungite bracelet which I wear daily..and I have ordered another for myself. She doesn't fully believe in it of course but I am so happy she does that little thing just to give it a try. She is great at sitting in the sun, thankfully....and always has.

    As for me, I had the best/easiest jet lag ever, amazing...this stuff really works :) I sure missed my magnetico and the pitch darkness at night. I couldn't have that there while at the sea but my sleep was still OK. I do wish there was a travel version of magnetico; but not sure. My dream is that one day soon, there will be a network in the world of small places to stay where they offer you a magnetico. I actually dropped in a spa where they let you lay on a magnet bed for 8 minutes for 8 euros. Very interesting so someone is selling something like m. there but no clue about quality etc.....

    Food isn't so much of an issue for me anymore. I bring my own food, and I make sure I have a kitchen and fridge so I can do my own thing. I did have some dairy - fermented cheese and something called Quark (which we use to make Johanna Budwig's meal with flax oil, not the best but so yummy) - while there. No sugar, and that was no problem bc I had a little bit of almond or hazelnut butter with cocoa regularly which is so decadent. Now some people may not be able to do nuts, but I love my German hazelnut butter. I also brought raw pumpkin seeds for zinc and there was a lot of fresh and local seafood available. I did have potatoes a few times, which I don't really touch at home. But it was my mom's few meals that I couldn't pass up....but only bc it was a special occasion, for sure.

    Sadly I found out about the parasite while there (GI Fx test came in) and I also have more yeast, but I think it's bc I am dumping metals, mercury from all the iodine. I believe that bc my diet has been super strict, until Germany, no carbs until then, well except in the nuts. I don't think it's from my diet.

    Strangely, my cycle went super well. I expected it to be horrible because I did have dairy and I really only have butter at home, nothing else.....and on the last day I had some raw French cheese which I got in a small supermarket at the airport. I couldn't believe it. It was my treat....I don't really eat airplane food. I had a bit of the veggies on the way out and back, but nothing else. Oh, Kerrygold butter one way. I had my own food....my mom let me take some of her amazing sauerkraut in my little food thermos I travel with and thankfully they didn't take it away. It was so so yummy. My mom is a great cook....

    I did find some 100% beef special sausages that are kind of dried, we used to take them in the mountains on hikes, from small local farms too which is so great. I also saw on TV a story about a biodynamic farm where some people live - the families that run it, and then some others.....from the area, older couples. One couple in their late 70s, still gardening, enjoying the farm and multi generations, sometimes cooking and eating together. That's when I knew I found the way I wanna live when I am old and gray. On a farm with like-minded folks who love to live and eat well. I am dreaming of an epi-paleo farm personally. With special bathtubs for CT and so on. Wouldn't that be so much fun?? I really dream of finding investors to help pay for it.....and in another decade, I may literally pursue it.

    One highlight was visiting Einstein's summer home - the last place he stayed before he left Germany for good in 1933. It's situated less than a mile from the house my mom was born in...though after he left. Such a fascinating place. He had it built by an architect who came to him after he had read in a paper about Einstein's wish to build a house. He didn't send out RFPs...he talked to this guy and moved ahead. Simple. Even the house itself where he lived with his second wife, who was his cousin, is super simple and very modest. I couldn't believe in a way how small but cozy it was. Even Einstein loved being outside and the outdoor space there seemed bigger than the rooms, in fact that is what the guide said. The neat thing is, you can go in and sit at his desk, imagine him being there. Amazing that they didn't tear the house down while the town was part of East Germany.

    Einstein loved being there...and being there with only good friends and loved ones. You should see his bed, a simple twin bed. He slept in separate rooms from his wife. Nothing fancy at all but all practical and everything. And larger windows to let more light in. And even the kitchen, a simple galley kitchen, but the whole house was really cozy too, the atmosphere. You can tell he had very little STUFF there which is so inspiring to me. He didn't need to show his status in any way, and he didn't care for mingling with high society there though they all wanted him, until of course the crap with you know what started. My mom always said people in that town were always arrogant...I bet it was that way when Einstein was there too and that is one reason he was so picky with people...he even didn't like to talk on the phone much but rather with people he cared about in person. I think Jack would agree with that eh?....I still remember being on his property - he gave it to a university in Israel - and imagining him being there too....oh and they said his one luxury was warm baths in the morning. Ha! He also loved to be on the lake, whether on a small boat or to fish. It is truly a lovely area there, for sure....and you could see the lake from his property too, though since he left more houses were built in between.

    It sure breaks my heart that he never returned there, even after the war was over.....though it's understandable. I bet he did miss it. I also didn't know that when he died, he wanted to be sure that there would be no big grave thing. He had his ashes distributed somewhere, I forget where. What an amazing guy, eh? Wish we could do some time travel.

    My sleep was consistently well as was my energy. I have so much more energy there. EVen in the city. Being away from the laptop and not being online (except a bit to check my email on the phone a few times) is a huge help. I think the air has something to do with it too. And of course my DHEA levels are way better now, too which helps, and I am taking a different thyroid med. The only days my sleep sucked is after we visited my mom's hometown, Einstein's Summer Home, which was a few days before I left. I can never sleep well around then, because I think so much about having to leave my mom there, all alone, wishing I could stay or split myself in two, to be with her and also here with my hubby. It's like I'm grieving ahead. And oh, I cry a lot too....I just can't help it. The older my mom gets the harder it is. So so hard.

    So far sleep here is great...usually about 9 to 930pm to about 5 to 6am. But that is jet lag too. I am hoping to keep that up though somehow. I love the quiet morning hours.

    Anyway it's late and I better go.....I have so much to catch up on, blogs and your journal and Inger's too...and other new ones. Whew. I will be lagging for quite some time...

    Hugs to you~
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2013
  14. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Oh... Hope that sounds like you had some amazing time! :) You are so right about staying away from the computer and outside in the nature makes one feel so different..huh. I really have limited my computer time too, I only am longer times on it when it is rainy days and I have free time. Man it feels great! Sounds like you and your mom has such a loving relationship. Very beautiful. I so hope you will be able move close to your mom one day with your hubs, so you could all be together. Very interesting to hear about Einsteins home and life. He sounds like such a nice guy!

    I am so happy for you that you are doing so great Hope :love:
     
  15. SeaHorse

    SeaHorse Gold

    Hope...that was a wonderful write up of your trip. Thanks for letting us share your experience. The love and concern you have for mother is very touching.
     
  16. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Thanks Hope for sharing your trip with us. It sounds like it did you a world of good - so happy for you. Does your DH enjoy it as much as you? You were born in Germany? Your DH?

    I have been meaning to get some books out of the library on Einstein - thanks for reminding me!
     
  17. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Audrey, SeaHorse, and Inger, I can't believe I haven't responded in here and now I can't either..just got back from the beach, so lovely. Had an incredible time, except for sleep issues, which meant I would fall asleep between 9-10pm and then wake up between 4 and 5am, and then couldn't go back (though one morning I got to see the amazingly beautiful sunrise, and take pictures of it too. It was mesmerizing, and I felt my heart more full of love and joy than in a long time). But way not enough sleep for me. Not sure why.....we were pretty remote. I did go see a chiropractor three times and got one amazing massage too...his office was right around the corner from our rental - amazing. Apparently my back was out each time (likely from the beach, falling and stumbling in the water). I wonder now if it's from mold. Met a patient of Dietrich Klinghardt and he says there is lots of mold around and some folks are sensitive which wouldn't surprise me, and why I always feel so good in Germany where there is no mold or much less and houses are built from stone....basically what Jack says too....like EMF and so on. There I slept great too, despite staying up late and not always using blue blockers, but having pitch darkness for sleeping.

    Though I did not have pitch darkness on the beach, and I did have some potatoes and even potato chips one day, cooked in peanut oil, I am totally exhausted. I did have to take the second installment of Albenza to deal with a parasite. Also got labs back today, not full but my DHEA is now too high, over the limit....and TSH is back up to 3.5 and T3 and 4 on the low side. Sigh. But my Vitamin D is 91 and on the beach, I got no sun burn, just a slight sensitive area on the top of my bikini bottom area.....DH has some small blisters......though last night after our very late return, he was laughing and saying, "when I go back to work, my body will be in shock. No more shorts and exposures to sun. My body will probably wonder what's going on after a week of so much sun." I couldn't BELIEVE he said that. He doesn't know it but he is experiencing some great effects. And we did have fish every day, too. Local, mostly.

    And I couldn't believe how much he smiled all week. He can't swim but thankfully I got him to be in the shallower parts of the water, to stand there, and enjoy the waves around him (not high), and he fared better than me (I fell a few times, LOL) and I was so thankful he got those feet and legs full of water and in sand, though it was too warm, it's still great grounding. He insists usually on wearing shoes all the time. Sigh. I was grateful too for us not having on any TV at all, and we only used wifi twice, for me to order my key supplements because I somehow managed to lose the container with them in it for the whole week. Thanks to Amazon I had all but one back in a day....so so great to get away from it all.....and soak in the majesty of that water, sand, wind etc....we also met some cool people too. Like a German senior political correspondent from DC area who writes for a national German paper, or a couple that is waitressing their summer on the beach before they move on to Colorado for the winter...such a great thing. Sadly my DH isn't up for that kind of thing.

    I just hope I can sleep better now I'm home. I sure missed my magnetico. Tonight I will get to go to bed early and hopefully sleep well.....last night, when we got into bed at nearly 1am, and both of us were too tired to go look for our yellow bulb flashlights, I said, it's OK....I can see in the dark...but DH didn't like the pitch dark. I was craving it and so so thankful for it too.....

    I just cannot believe today is July 1. It feels like January 1 was a week ago - not six months. I turn 40 soon and am thinking of special things to do....like maybe a kayak trip on a river, tubing or a little cruise on the Chesapeake bay. Last year we rowed upon a lake...so pretty. Much more fun than eating out at some restaurant....
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2013
  18. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Sounds lovely Hope. It seems like you are making such a positive impact on your DH. Is he sleeping better with the magnetico too?

    Maybe you should try a movnat with Erwan [and your DH - LOL] for your birthday???? That would seem like a new beginning to me......
     
  19. Hope

    Hope Gold

    It is January 1, 2014 and I thought I should make an attempt at a brief update. Since my last post, I've learned a ton about myself. Most importantly that I have the mold glitch gene, and more, i.e. lyme and other biotoxins. Found out about it in October after reading one of Jack's blogs - Leptin meet Lyme. It wasn't the first time....but something clicked and I researched the work of Dr Shoemaker. I knew intuitively that I must be having the issues he talks about and when I looked at his biotoxin pathway diagram, I knew I would be low in aMSH. It would explain why my sleep over the years has been yucky, despite my using a CPAP for sleep apnea. So I did the required blood tests and sure enough, I was right with all my intuitions. It sucked but at least now I have more answers.

    Also explains why I would be miserably sick after moving to an apartment in 2006 that smelled musty, only silly me I didn't let myself be bothered. I got sick immediately but never made the connection then. I did wonder about my work office as IT always had yucky air and just being there would make me tired. With our without being on a computer. I am also convinced that it explains a lot of the issues in my family, especially my mom's health issues. It is heart breaking. And yet I am thankful to know better...so I can do better.

    I still am very hooked on my pitch dark bedroom, which I LOVE, and I am so accustomed to having dark now, it's awesome, I crave it at night even when I'm not home but a hotel. It's like my body knows what's coming and is asking for it. Sleep has been amazing this fall/winter. After a trip to Outer Banks in June I wasn't doing so well though I believe now it had to do with mold in our rental....worst sleep ever. It smelled a little funky but again I tried to ignore what my body clearly couldn't.

    I have become a boring person in that I go to bed early every night at home, and it is awesome. I LOVE the morning hours. I used to love staying up at night for the quiet, now it's the morning. Though we still have some mold at home, the remedies and cleaning we have had done have helped for sure, and I cannot wait to move out of our current home...it's near major power lines which I have always hated.

    I do think our 20G magnetico is making a huge difference as well, though sometimes when I am exhausted, or ill, I stay in it all day. I was sick only once this year, after a trip to see my mom that was very stressful.

    I am so thankful for all I have learned here, working with Michael Neuert, and there is much more to come I know.

    My biggest desire is to have a healthy home in 2014. We still live outside DC, which I hate, but my DH is finally open to moving further out, even if not as far out as I would like...but I am working on it. There was one house so far I really loved, much more in the country but it was too far for DH so I need to keep working on him. He said, he is afraid he might hate living further out as he did it when single and always regretted the days and months there (in another state). Sadly when I say, well I have hated it here 3 years and it's also making sick, what about that, he has no answer...makes me sad but I am not giving up.

    He also recently said that 'we should find a location we both would like'. And that was a relief...bc it means he is open to moving out of the area. I am hoping he might consider Denver. Or Seattle. FL's west coast would be great....but not sure if he'd be open. He might be open to New Orleans area, mostly bc he is a musician by heart. I was amazed he let me talk him into doing 23andme. Right before they stopped running the health part. No results in yet but I am sure they will soon. I strongly suspect that he has similar mold issues to me, and am still working on him to get the HLA testing done, at least. So we shall see.

    I have to say one of the greatest gifts for me in 2014 is clarity. Clarity on what is good for me, and not. What is important and what not. Ads have nothing on me anymore, I see right through them. Sometimes it's sad, like all those ads for my gadgets running on batteries and or wifi. Yuck. Also clarity on what I really need to live, and what not. We or I have given a ton of 'stuff' away this year, especially since the summer...and it feels amazing to live lighter, with less, and much more freedom. I haven't become a true minimalist yet, but I'm on my way. I will never need a big mansion to live in, just something clean, mold and wifi and crappy power free. It may take a while to truly get there but I'm OK with that.

    So short term I want to get out of our current house, move to a better local one, recover from mold, shield the new house from wifi as much as possible, and then ultimately move out of the area. I am super thankful for friends in the Shenandoah Valley, who I love to visit as many times as possible. There is no cell phone coverage at all, only weak wifi and I feel amazing there - only 1 hour east of us. Trees and hills everywhere. That's my dream for some day. I know when I am fully better and able to help make up for all the financial loss my health issues have caused, my dream is to build a small, green, low or no EMF home somewhere in the country. Don't know where yet but I see it in my heart. I also see a dog in our future....and we won't rent anywhere that doesn't allow pets. I still dream of having a baby but though I am aging don't think about it anymore. Must recover from mold first. I'm also much more OK with not having any at all. I don't know what will happen there....but I am open to whatever. Above all, I want to be well. And spend much less time online, and more in nature, outside. SPeaking of which, I must get going. Taking the hubs out on a drive to the country....in hopes he might get more comfy with the idea of living further out.

    I wish everyone on this board all the best for 2014. And a big thanks goes out not just to Dr K but Misty too....the humble glue who keeps this great board and community together!!! SO appreciate your work, Misty, your ideas and questions that so many of us have :) I do still dream of a live, in-person meet up some day!
     
  20. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Hope - I am wishing so many wonderful things for you in 2014. You have made so much progress and I am proud of all you have accomplishment ... and best of all .... you know where you need to go.

    This mould stuff is so worrying ..... How do you test for mould? If you were to move to a new place - How could you be sure? The Shenandoah Valley sounds wonderful for you - and so close really!

    Can your DH work somewhat from home?

    I love how you are moving forward and making plans ...... Have you done drawings of a small cabin you could build?

    You could be self sustainable and raise animals.....and take in guests......

    I was just skyping with my Daughter in Oakville [Ontario] she just had a spa day in the blue mountains with her best friend. All the pools are outside - hot and cold! She had an amazing time. The cold pool was 14 degrees. I was quite proud of her!

    You will change your life ... you have already.....I cant wait to see where we all are a year from now!
     

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