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Hope Rising....

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Hope, Mar 29, 2013.

  1. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Hope...! I think you are the one with a beautiful heart. What you write touches me, really.. I will write more soon - now I am just a bit exhausted (more mentally) because the other sheep got her lambs yesterday and I have been fighting for their lives. I have slept just a hour here and there.
    She is not a good mom. She was the same last year. This year 5 was born alive but one could not breath well. I did all I could figure out to rescue it but it died after maybe 6 hour. It was too sad. It was so sweet. Hubs said it was not my fault but it felt like it was.. I did not wanted it to die.. I so much wanted it to live. So very much. I took 3 inside as they was cold and she did not care too much for them. They are fine now. The one left out was fine 3 AM in the night when I checked but now in the morning he was so odd.. did not wanted to drink and could barely stay upright. I need to do something.
    Hubs got a gallstone attack again.. in the night... He drove to the hospital himself, I said he should rather call for help.. but he insisted. I am a bit worried, have not heard from him yet. He ate some food he should not have yesterday for lunch, he knows it but "forget" about it again and again and then he suffers. He do want to eat good stuff but sometimes on the road it needs organisation and he is not yet willing to take he's own food with him when traveling for work. Maybe soon. It hurts me to see him suffer so bad, gallstones are terrible me thinks.
    So I am just drinking a BP coffee now (which I wanted to quit..lol) I have no appetite really. and then I need to rush outside and try to rescue the other lamb. So if I do not answer too soon it is because I had no time yet, ok!
    Take care Hope. Your DH is blessed to have you in he's life.

    PS. I am so happy for you, getting a magnetico pad!!! I bet your hubby loves you really much, Hope..:)
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2013
  2. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Hope - I love how you write about your feelings and experiences ..... I think you have great maturity and wisdom and insight for a young woman. I wish I would have had that at your age. I had a very overbearing and abusive mother and you just wind up dragging yourself up some how and I think your emotional developement is retarded. But - I had the amazing,incredible good luck to meet a wonderful man who loved me more than anything and gave me unconditional love - the most incredible gift one could ever have....
  3. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Dear Caroline, thanks so much for your kind words of encouragement.....I so appreciate it and I am so sorry that you had a difficult mom too. But how great about your DH.....my DH loves me, but neither of us are very good at unconditional love. And I have always felt my emotional development has been so retarded too....and I think it has. I feel I am so behind, but am learning to give it up. There is a reason I am this old and never have had a baby yet.....partly of course bc I married late. I was depressed for years after my dad passed away......he and my mom are essentially my only family so to lose half of it was hard. I think I was denying and running away from my pain for years and just did what I had to do, without heart. Not good. But I had nowhere to take the pain....thankfully over time it changed.

    I have a bad migraine today so can't write much....we set up the magnetico last night. LOVE it so much already, I feel so at peace in the body. I almost cried last night...it's how I feel in the mountains or nature far away from it all. I needed this for years. My head hurts a lot, could be partly the detox from magnetico, or from me eating too much almond butter the last few days. When I was out today - after an hour massage and a chiropractic adjustment, it was better for about an hour....then now it's really bad again, but I also stupidly ate too some almond butter again. Why? I don't feel like cooking anything, and it was easy. Bad idea.

    My back hurts from carrying the 372 lbs upstairs, but it's so worth it!! I read their brochure from cover to cover and it makes so much sense.
  4. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Dear Inger, so hope your lambs are all OK/better. I can't write much either bc I have a bad migraine now UGH but hope you are feeling more energized!!

    Yes magnetico is amazing. DH loves me yes but some things he doesn't like...he calls me controlling for wanting darkness at night and no wifi :( but we'll see.....

    I can't wait to see more of your wonderful pictures.....will be thinking of you.....
  5. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Hope - Have you thought of taking your DH camping and getting him away from all that stuff for a few days?

    In my case at least - all the emotional baggage is very, very hard for your partner. It really isn't fair on them ...but I guess everyone comes with emotional baggage of some kind.

    Hope your migraine gets better really fast - you have got so much to accomplish!

    When they deliver the magnetico pad - won't they deliver it to the room it needs to be in??? If not it would be worth it to give them a few bucks to do it....

    Can't wait to hear more about your experience with it....
  6. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Hi Audrey,

    yes I would love to go camping....we haven't yet. Trouble is I sleep with a CPAP machine for sleep apnea so we'd need access to an outlet. I Have a battery, but it doesn't work more than 5 hours....and I am a zombie without it. But hopefully some day soon as it gets warmer we can! Just have to find a place without cellphone coverage too!! Or he'd be on his iPhone.

    The magnetico - they (Fedex here) just dropped it by the front door. I was home but in the backyard, so we had to carry it all upstairs when DH got home - I didn't notice they dropped it till later. It was a lot of work and even DH said he was more tired from it all the next day (we didn't finish till 10pm, kinda late). It doesn't' come in one pad, it's actually 4 pieces in our case (we have a king size bed). I think they do this because the magnets would be too heavy - no one could pick up 372 lbs in one box, I think. Thankfully, today I feel much much better, especially the body....the head is still slightly funky from the migraine.

    So far I LOVE the pad....the very few first minutes, after we put it together, right away, I felt this calm and peace wash over me. I wanted to cry....for joy and also for sadness bc I thought, THIS is how I should feel every day when I go to bed. It's totally working. It is so amazing. When I get really quiet laying there, and enter awareness of my body, I can literally feel particles of calm enter my body. My body feels as if it's responding to the magnetic field. It literally feels like the cells in my body organize themselves in a happy but calm dance, almost like they are returning to a state they were meant to be. I feel this deep deep inside inner knowing that this is the right thing for me. It is an amazing feeling. It's almost like my cells are saying, "ohhhhh......thank you...this is what we need". It feels like I'm describing a drug....Maybe this sounds kinda woo-woo and I'm not making this up. I didn't know what I'd feel like.....I felt the same way today too. Though yesterday was rough bc of the migraine. But there, I could feel my body feel calm from the neck down, and the head in pain. Ugh. Thankfully, I had no issues falling asleep.....

    Today and yesterday, I woke up earlier than normal, a little (could be the changing season, we are getting more morning light here) and rather than feeling like I had to rush out, I lay there for a bit, it was like my body was saying "stay...give me a bit more rest" and I did a little meditation. This is awesome bc lately (since we changed to DST here), I rush out of bed first thing (because I think of all the things I have to do and can't wait to start), rather than what I did throughout most of the winter, which was to start my day with some breathing meditation, which is so calming. So I am going from feeling kind of jittery (on a very tiny scale but enough for me to feel it) to feel more calm and that is such an incredible gift....it is truly an amazing experience. So far, I am totally hooked. :) I JUST long to feel that way all over the house....but not sure we can get everything down enough - we are in a townhouse, 150 yards from a major power line....but I will do all I can.

    Hopefully I can continue with the meditation in the morning.....I loved when Jack said, meditation (though I am not doing the transcendental kind, mine is more just breathing/watching the breath or guided) is good for reversing the PG/E2 ratio and I need all the help there that I can get. I've been slacking off lately. I have this HUGE desire to go through the whole house and see what more we can donate/sell etc. to create more space. I LOVE space.

    How are you, Audrey?? I have to check your journal....

    Here is a funny thing too.....night before last, DH was talking to me by our kitchen island, and put the 2 chairs for it in perfect shape. I never did this ever. But he can't even remember doing it....

    Yes, emotional baggage is hard. We all have some, I guess...

    So I am more and more OK using the corded phone only.....I'll have to look into what other phone would be good. I heard and read about special cordless phones that you can tone down but I think the corded route may be cheaper. Have to find our old caller ID so I can see who is calling. Also have to contact our TV/phone/Net provider to see if I can get an outlet for the net upstairs...once we get rid of wireless. I am not sure I'd be OK with just working in a basement that has a higher magnetic field.
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2013
  7. Hope

    Hope Gold

    So.....I am in need of a new home for my supplements. So far they have been in the closet above the dishwasher, with some of the bottles sitting outside, atop the DW. BAD idea. Why did I never think of that? Trifield goes through the ROOF while washer is on. Will have to see how to reorganize the small kitchen...

    My electric stove is also really bad when on high......so much mag. field. It gets better when I turn it down to 6pm or less.....which funnily enough is how I have been cooking mostly. Need to create a checklist for a new living situation. a must have.....a gas stove.
  8. nonchalant

    nonchalant Silver

    Oh crud! Some of mine are near a wall with a dimmer switch.
    Thanks for posting, Hope!
  9. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Yeah, this stuff is really making me rethink things....
  10. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    So you think EMFs affect the supplements???? mine are in a really bad spot too - between the fridge and stove.......
  11. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Audrey, wow, move them if you can. I have to find a place...this one was really good. My kitchen is small. I tested the pantry - in a closet next to the fridge = super high!!

    I do wonder if I am EMFing my food AND supplements.....whoa!!!!

    I am now wondering if fridge food gets EMFed too. lol. I wanna go back to the dark ages!!
  12. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I leave them out so I am sure to remember to take them - but they definitely need a new home! The funny thing is - I hate a messy counter and didn't like the supps hanging around - so now my counter will be nice and neat and if I forget to take them sometimes it will save some money!
  13. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Audrey, funny thing, that's exactly what I thought yesterday when I took all the bottles off, how nice it looks :)
  14. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Day 3 on Magnetico Sleep

    So it's day three and once again I went to bed too late - even my DH said it was 'late' for me....because I 'had' to listen to the EMF QA live.....and I sure was exhausted. As soon as I went to bed and 'tuned in' to my body, I started to feel lighter again....it was great. I don't remember much so I think I must have fallen asleep pretty easily/quickly. I will say that my DH and I (well, instigated by me) had two huge LOL-laughs, while chatting....and I haven't laughed out loud this hard in a long time, because of something he or I said or thought. It felt really good and I know laughter is great for the liver.....

    I woke up early again, which is OK, and it was a great feeling to wake up because as soon as I 'came to', I could feel my body affected by the pad. I really deeply believe it...it feels as though all my body cells are responding to the enhanced magnetic field.....and getting something they need. It sounds so woo woo when I write it here but it feels so real when I'm lying in there....

    So after my morning routine I go downstairs to make my sardines-sauerkraut-radish-mustard breakfast....and I feel so LIGHT. I feel like someone has put something in all my cells. I mean, I remember how I came down the nights before (and I have no more muscle tension as I did after the first night when we put the pad on) as long as we've lived here and I always feel like SO tired, deep in my body...it's so not fun. It gets better with time, but it's not fun. Well, today I felt light and energized. I felt like I got an amazing massage that was energizing and relaxing at the same time. I do feel that after a great massage, but that feeling of heaviness always returns, either the next day or even a few hours later. I now totally believe it must be the effect of the EMF exposure.....

    It is SUCH a great feeling to feel this way and I wish it would last all day. I will have to do an experiment on a day I don't have to be on the computer and see if the energy lasts longer? Magnetico said after you detox more, you do take the effect with you, for up to two weeks so even while you travel. Wow. I can't wait for that.

    I was trying to think of a good way to describe it and one way is, I feel like I breathed in some helium and I have to laugh out loud and am ready to lift off. That's literally how I feel. And it's SO great it came from sleeping, not a $80 massage!!!! I hope this feeling continues...or returns tomorrow. That'd be so so cool!!

    So I am 'bolding' some of what I write here, and I started this post with Day Three as I want to be able to go back a year from now or whatever and read/skim stuff quickly and see how I compare to feeling then.
  15. Hope

    Hope Gold

    So talk about being sensitive. DH and I got him a different toothpaste than his usual Aquafresh..one without chemicals/Fl and.....his breath smells SO good. I can literally smell the difference. This is how sensitive I am to everything around me.....thing is he doesn't like it. But perhaps I can entice him to keep using this new one because when he uses it, it makes me wanna kiss him. LOL. He laughed out loud when I told him.
  16. Hope

    Hope Gold

    This is for Caroline...hope you see it.....I was out there that day. So great......BTW I'd love to see a pic of your beach too! :)


    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Apr 6, 2013
  17. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Thanks for the pic! How close is this beach to you? Maybe you could spend a lot more time there? I love to hear how you are doing with the magnetico .....what about your DH? has he noticed a difference?
    It is so amazing to get your life back and all the joy that comes with it...

    If you keep kissing your DH every time he uses the toothpaste - he will figure it out pretty fast!

    I will have to figure out how to send pictures and show you my beautiful beach ....
  18. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Hope... wow.. I love to read about your experiences! Amazing, the magnetico mattress....!!! :)
    And wow.. your beach! It is so beautiful!!! You have quite a heaven there...

    To post bigger pictures I use http://tinypic.com/?t=postupload
    That way you can get them as small or big you like. I do reduce the pixels with the paint program before uploading, otherwise it might take quite long to upload...

    I need to rush out to the lambs now..lol talk later! :)
  19. Hope

    Hope Gold

    That beach...is two plane rides and a train trip away, in Germany, you can walk to Poland from there (a miracle to me, still, since it was all off limits for Westerners...). I so love it there. I dream to buy an apartment there some day. It is a lovely place. It feeds my soul, the whole town. Even walking in the streets. So small, cute, adorable, clean, not overrun with cars and people, but trees, great air....

    Today I was decluttering and going through maps in my office and just looking at the train trails of Germany, seeing towns we pass by on the way made me long for that place. It is a deep inner desire that is always there when I reach into that place.

    I also was reading a journal from 2008 when I did an amazing Panchakarma (detox in Ayurveda) retreat and the guy said my pulses showed that my heart longs to be heard. That is still true today, I am sure...I've been deadening my heart.....

    DH hasn't felt much difference. But I think he is so dehydrated and sleep deprived..he goes to bed later than me, usually, or gets up if can't sleep, and watches videos on his phone or laptop. It KILLS me. Not much I can do....I am hoping the pad will help him....
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2013
  20. Hope

    Hope Gold

    Inger, thanks for the tip with the pictures...that is great! Love it! Will have to play with it.....so love seeing your pictures on your journal....

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