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Healty mind, healthy body - Rhoswen's Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Rhoswen, Apr 23, 2012.

  1. Rhoswen

    Rhoswen New Member

    So I'm still doing my EFT and it seems like it's helping a lot. I just did a little session on myself with some issues that I was avoiding exploring... I feel a lot better now. I'm hoping this good feeling will last!

    I know I've been talking about therapy things and EFT a lot instead of really talking about my Leptin RX or CT. XD Oddly enough, I find it very very easy to stick to Dr. Kruse's recommendations. I haven't done a cold bath in a long time though, I must admit. I've been doing ice packs on various parts of my body for 40-50 minutes. I actually did drop down my BAB from 50 grams of protein to 25 and 30, and I'm doing very well on it. Still no cravings or anything. I'm pretty sure, even though my mind is still a slightly messy place, that I'm becoming Leptin Sensitive. Sweating pattern is different, dry scaly skin patches I had on my body are going away, acne is going away and healing fairly quick, and my weight dropped again down to 131 pounds.

    One thing I worry about is that I've sort of dropped my calories. Not on purpose, I always eat till I feel satisfied because I HATE feeling hungry... But most days lately I only enough about 1300 calories a day. I walk around a lot and stand up a lot at work, but I haven't been doing any body weight exercises quite yet. I just don't really feel hungry enough to eat more than that, however, I also don't want my weight to drop TOO low either! My average grams of fat/carbs/protein are 90/36/89.
  2. PaulaRichards

    PaulaRichards New Member

    So glad EFT is helping you! Sounds like it's helping in all areas; maybe indirectly?? Have a good weekend!
  3. Rhoswen

    Rhoswen New Member

    I'm not sure! It might be. They say that when you begin to solves issues using EFT, it kinda cascades into your overall mental state. :) Thank you for the well wishes! I hope your weekend has been good too.
  4. Rhoswen

    Rhoswen New Member

    Everytime I figure something out about myself, I cry. XD It's strange. I'm starting to think all the things I've been finding out about myself are good. The times I feel afraid, the times I don't feel confident, the times where I'm satisfied with myself, the times when I feel happy... I'm starting to think of all these things as important.

    I would label certain aspects of myself into categories of "bad" and "good" but that way of thinking is so self-destructive. Who wants to think that they're a bad person for whatever they're feeling? It's so tiring to think like that.

    I actually ran outta my probiotic! Oh no! I made another order for more. I didn't think I'd use them up so quickly! But I was taking two capsules with each meal. Even though I haven't been taking any probiotics (other than a couple of Bubbies pickles), I've only developed one tiny spot of acne on my face. I did get slightly constipated the other day... So it just looks like I'm gonna need a little more time to get my gut totally healed up.

    I was going to say, I wonder how my gut got so messed up? But actually, I do know! It's story time kids!

    When I was very young, I was just on the verge of turning 7 I believe, I got extremely sick. I remember it vividly because I actually got sick the very first day of the First Grade. I was sick to my stomach. I actually threw up right in front of a classroom of kindergarteners. LOL! However, this illness was by far more extremely than a minor stomach bug. In fact, this illness kept me out of school for 4-6 months.

    I remember the doctor's speculating that there were problems with my kidneys, spleen, AND bladder. I had some sort of infection. I remember getting my blood drawn constantly, always going to our local clinic. I remember the anti-biotics they had me on... Argh! Consistency of pulpy orange juice and the taste was TERRIBLE! I believe this was the first time I had ever taken anti-biotics. From what I understand, I was a healthy baby and my body was pretty healthy until this point.

    It's odd though. I don't think I was ever admitted to the hospital, I just always had my grandmother, mom, or dad taking care of me. I remember not being able to eat very much, sometimes for days. I was able to at least keep down water, but nothing else. My mother confided in me years later that she was actually afraid that I was going to die.

    Sadly, my father doesn't remember ANY of this. Can you believe it? LOL It makes me angry, but it also makes me laugh. My dad doesn't really feel a lot of empathy for other people.

    Either way, I'm betting my gut flora got messed up from all that. After that incident, I did get sick a LOT. Strep throat, lots of ear infections, so I was always taking anti-biotics for those conditions. In fact, I had an ear infection in high school that was anti-biotic resistant and on top of that, it moved into both of my ears. My lymph nodes in my neck swelled up so much, I couldn't chew food! They had to put me on Augmentin to finally get rid of the infection.

    I haven't taken anti-biotics in probably ten plus years though. And if I can avoid it, I won't take them again. I actually have been pretty lucky in the fact I haven't gotten seriously sick in several years. I believe Paleo is helping that along very nicely! Everyone else is coming into work with stomach problems because of a bug that's going around, and I'm still sitting pretty. :)
  5. Rhoswen

    Rhoswen New Member

    I just realized something about myself, once again. Speaking of labeling certain emotions or aspects of yourself into "bad" and "good" categories, I realized one of my big stumbling blocks is this weird belief I have that... Loving yourself, being happy with yourself just as you are is... arrogant. How did I end up with a limiting belief like that?!

    It looks like this: Loving yourself = arrogance = vile and bad. I think that I started to fall into this pattern of thinking because I felt if I loved myself too much, I'd be closed off to feeling love and compassion for other people.

    You know, the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to think I picked this belief up from my father!

    Even now, he talks about how my mum only cares about herself. I just spoke with him over the phone and he said how selfish she is for buying games she enjoys. Or buying new clothes for herself. Or sleeping in on weekends. Even just buying TOOTHPASTE for herself!

    Doing things you enjoy, having nice clothes to wear, taking care of your body are forms of self-love, yet I got the message from my father that these things are bad!

    I can only sit here and observe this stuff in... well not sadness. I can't be sad about it because I can't control how my dad thinks. I just realize that for all the finger pointing he does at my mom, he pretty much does whatever he wants. Sleeping in late on the weekends, buying clothes, buying expensive pieces of exercise equipment he doesn't use, buying tons of CDs, as long as he's the one doing it, it's a good thing.

    I can't change the way others think, but I can keep changing myself.

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