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Guilt thread

Discussion in 'Optimal Kids' started by ChristineKleiber, Apr 11, 2012.

  1. ChristineKleiber

    ChristineKleiber New Member


    I appreciate your angst. My little guy is socially challenged and so letting him get out there is really important. He gets invited to almost no birthday parties now - in 3rd grade. I totally let the Sunday is for family rule slide on Easter Sunday of all things because some neighborhood boys rang the bell asking him to come out and play. What a gift.... which fortunately didn't involve food. As bad as it is, my little guy has a genetic disorder, observable social and motor challenges, and a serious weight gain issue. So when they do include him, people are quick to ask me about how "special handling" procedures.



    On the specifics of bday parties, develop your own rules. My now college age kids were allowed to go to 3-4 a year and they had to be for their BFF's. A bday party is a feast/celebration, but you can't have a continual party life. And kids need to learn that they can't do everything sooner or later. I would suggest that you really emphasize the playdates for the next couple of years - whether they be out of your homes where food is not an issue, or in your home where you carefully select who comes to play. Of course first it needs to be a child your child desires to have visit, but if you are not particularly comfortable with parents, that is not to be discounted either. Fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. So yes, I would do a little social engineering. If it is on your home court, you can be a Paleo witness, without coming across as a street corner evangelist proclaiming "the end is near if you eat grains" (never mind the truth of the matter) It is all about customizing our message to the audience. To borrow from St. Francis of Assisi - who obviously was into nature - "Preach always. If necessary, use words."



    And don't worry either about the flooding memories of your childhood. This tall, lanky 4 eyed kid that was always picked last for dodgeball, had the same thoughts the first time my kid was "left out". You are just more sensitive to the situation. Use it to your advantage.



    I have 3 college age kids right now who probably are a major source of my elevated cortisol over the last few years. They buck the system, tell you things like "there are more educated people out there who would disagree with you", and of course complain about what is served for dinner. But mark my words, the "thank you's" are prolific these days. My favorite to date was the one who had to stay for summer semester, and didn't have a meal plan. Thrust into the world of grocery shopping for herself. "Food is expensive, but you and Dad still buy the good stuff." Stay the course. Other ships in the harbor will follow...
     

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