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Guess I'm in

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Peertje80, Apr 25, 2015.

  1. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    I made it one week with out watching telly :D That's so much easier now its summertime and days are getting longer. Hanging out in the garden, reading, surfing and studying. I'm might even pass my exams in one go. Creating lots of time like this. Another great benefit:)

    Next up:
    > cut coffee to max 2 in morning
    > got new prescription glasses with the Gunnars (first try at work today)

    Lunch yesterday:
    Cpt.Tired likes this.
  2. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    Not such a good day today. At work climate control was set waaaaaaaaaaay too cold. I couldn't sit still and I had to put on my jacket to stay warm. Maybe the 2 cups of joe a day limit is something I have to get used to. My co-worker and I calculated I was on a dose of at least 10 cups a day. It was kinda shocking to learn that reality actually. Like realizing you're an addict and it is not just recreational... exactly like it was form me with smoking. Also completely famished at diner time. Strange hadn't had that for a while. Though I felt totally off, I had a strange razor sharp mental focus. Which was weird o_O
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2015
    caroline likes this.
  3. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    Next up:
    > get more AM sun.

    I already had more sun the last 3 weeks then I usually would. And it showed in the mirror this morning. My face was shedding skin like a snake:D

    I go to work around 6:45AM. This morning I went biking to work, like I always do, but didn't put my sunglasses on. Also something to get used to with the sun shining bright in my light sensitive eyes. I cried all the way to work, so I hope it was worth it.

    Also trying to plan break time around 9AM, to sneak outside with the smoking crew to stand in the sun with them. Are you not smoking? No I'm not, just trying to get some rays here.

    Finished off today with some Vitamin Sea and went for a hour kite surfing after diner. It is still too cold for the time of year. I now see it as a bonus.

    And now it is time for :zzz:. Goodnight (or day depending your location).

    caroline likes this.
  4. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    This afternoon the sun was shining and the wind was gone. It was all of the sudden 64 degrees outside... pff I noticed my body is still in 'winter mode'. Had to drive to town but was cocking in the damn car. Really hard time adjusting to this shift in temperature:eek:. Well at least I could get some tanning done, though I only dared for 10 minutes. With exception of my face, I'm white like milk and very likely to burn with the first rays hitting my skin.

    Now I'm gonna pull an all nighter to prepare for exams on Monday. Don't know if it is a good idea:rolleyes:. But at least I came prepared and loaded up on fish all 3 meals. Room is minimally lit with blueblockers on standby. Water is chilling in the fridge.
    caroline likes this.
  5. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    With only 5 hours of sleep, I must say I don't feel too shabby (all though the rings under my eyes tell a different story). Even managed to stay ahead of my study schedule. Maybe even have time for some Vitamin Sea if the weather front passes overhead this late afternoon. Would be nice to clear head, catching some wind and waves, before exams tomorrow.

    Note to self: I have to set alarm to drink more water or else I forget. Barely got 500 ml in and day is half way over. Wondering how much of the water even stays in, cause I have to go to restroom so much when drinking water.
    caroline likes this.
  6. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Nice lunch :) :) :)
    And yay for cutting the TV! I seriously hate it o_O it just make me feel BAD :eek: go figure! So I do not have one ;)
  7. Inger

    Inger Silver

    You need to tan nude for sure! I tanned nude with the ex husband on the terrace for 3 hours today...lol the neighbors were all gone ;)
    I am already pretty tanned... all over... you need to start now! And you will not burn. the earlier the better... as the sun is not so strong yet :)

    remember... our downfall started when we began to use clothes..........
    HelenaVon likes this.
  8. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    Yeah TV sucks, well at least the programming does. My hubby begs to differ.

    Well .... nude tanning... eehh... yes I know. I have a very concerned neighbour lol. Maybe I have to make a stake out to learn when he is not home.

    However I'm really light skinned. When I was in Japan they called me kinpatsu no kami. Golden hairs o_O. Referring to the first red headed and sickly pale looking Dutch arriving after many months at sea some 400 years ago.

    My mother picked my first name, which means " the pale one", with accurate pre-vision. She taught me to stay in the shades, use thick layers of sun screen and wear hats and long t-shirts during swimming. As a kid I got sun burned all the time. I was even hospitalized once for second degree burns from the sun exposure. Sometime I wonder if I was uncoupled since birth. Or maybe my mother was uncoupled and thus was I. Is that even possible? So it is really scary for me to expose parts that haven't been exposed in over ... well 25 years. So I feel I have to take baby steps first. BUt of course you're absolutely right :)

    3 hours off tanning. That's pretty amazing! Seems such a relaxing thing to do.
  9. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    A lot depends on your Mom and Grandma etc! That is why JK likes a health history.

    being outside in the early morning sun and late afternoon sun is magic!
  10. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    That's just great... I'm screwed:confused:. My mother was very sick from early childhood on. They never knew what she had until she was recently diagnosed with Coeliac disease. My granny, though she's pretty old (81) suffers from alzheimers for a while now.

    Yesterday evening I went for a quick kite surfing session. It turned out to be a spectacular one. The wind was really good. Warm wind from the south (yes!). I think ct-ing in sea is now really over. Summer season is starting. We had calm seas and with the sun setting in the sea everything turned bright orange. Everybody was so stoked. It was a real energy booster.

    Today I had my exams. I think something was wrong. The exams were so easy. It really took me by surprise since 70% fails these exams the first go. I felt really suspicious about difficulty of the exams. I hope I passed:(

    After exams I really took a beating energy wise. I felt completely drained. Took a nap to get through the rest of the day. Did some yard work after 16:00. Taking weeds out in bikini going barefoot and all. I think I found a new hobby. Such great weather lately :)
    caroline likes this.
  11. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    @caroline now you mentioned bloodline. You only mentioned females. How about fathers side? That one really worries me. My father suffered 4 CVA's and multiple TIA's in the '80's. You know what? He was a left handed mechanical engineer. He built industrial size electrical and magnetic coils for companies in the Ruhr area Germany. No coincidence my father got sick the way he did. Though he also smoked unfiltered cigarettes an had high blood pressure. I saw my father turn in to a baby. He had to re-learn everything. It was heart breaking to witness as a child. But I must say he never gave up. He walks and talks like nothing happened and now is almost 70 years old. Too bad the behavioural changes never went a way. Otherwise you couldn't tell that he was so severely sick.
  12. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    Passed exams with 80% :confused:o_O:p:D
    Lahelada and Sue-UK like this.
  13. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Great news! :D you are doing so much to help yourself! You are on an upward trajectory!
    Peertje80 likes this.
  14. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    So small recap:
    • 4 weeks in to leptin reset
    • increased seafood to minimal once a day sometimes twice a day (herring, mackerel, salmon, sardines, shrimps, mussels)
    • Using gunner glasses when working and during screen time in evening
    • After sunset minimal light lit in house (still have to buy curtains though)
    • No sunglasses while commuting to work early morning
    • Sungazing with breathing exercise after waking up (works better now for me now that the sun is also up early)
    • Use smokers break to get 5 minutes of rays at 9AM when working at the office
    • Use coffee break when working at home to get 15 minutes outside at 10AM minimally dressed (lucky it is getting warmer now)
    • Cut coffee from 10> cups to 3 or 4 cups (just can't do less yet)
    • Increased water intake from 500 ml to 1500 ml (lot of movement going back and forth to toilet. So increased exercise too)
    • try to do some yard work after work around 16:30 to get more sun light.
    • No TV
    • Sealed bedroom from light
    • CT is less now sea is warming up, switched to morning showers and evening face ct. (But should I stop that now I can use light again?)
    Results so far are strange:
    • I suffered a injury on my foot. Quite a big wound actually. But it is healing like crazy fast. I hardly believe it myself but you can almost see it healing while looking at it(?)
    • Shedding skin on my face, hands and feet
    • My energy crashes sometimes really big (instead of up and down) and I have to take a nap. So I do. There after I feel better.
    • Since 2 days I can skip lunch without effort. Just a bit hungry around 16:30 (dinners has to wait till 18:00 for social reasons). When drinking big glass of water it disappears. This seemed impossible 4 weeks ago. I felt I was in a constant state of ravenousness after mourning and stress full period during winter.
    • Sleep is better but still not very consistent. But at least I do have some nights of uninterrupted sleep now. Which is so... precious.
    • My nails are getting super tough and are growing faster then usual.
    • My eyes feel much more relaxed at work. No more pinching against the light. It improves my mood at work considerable. Down side of this seems to be I squint a whole lot more. My right eye seems to be all over the place. I hope it is transitional.
    • I'm getting a nice tan:p first time ever.
    • Some acne on my back which I do not have normally.
    • My HS... I don't know. Don't wanna jump the gun, but it seems to be in remission for about 1 week now. The active infections are disappearing, no hard lumps under skin to be found. Just had 1 tiny fistula come up, break and disappear in light speed fashion. I have to wait a full cycle to believe it I think.
    • Bouncing back from stopping with BCP unexpectedly well. Especially mood wise.
    • My thinking is changing (can this happen even). Instead of "picture thinking" I now use stories to think more. This is a really nice perk for my work. Words come easier that way.
    • My resting heart rate is now 58 bpm. Which is not great still, but at least better then being under 50. I think I would be please with 60> And I hope it makes me feel less like torturous while exercising.
    • Weight loss is minimal 1 kilo so far (I cheated and drank some glasses of alcohol during festivities. Had some potatoes too). But I need to buy new wetsuit because it's not tight around my legs any more. And it was and should be! I noticed the same for my jeans, so legs seem to be shrinking somehow.
    Thing to do:
    • Read Ubi 12
    • Find out about tapwater
    • Continue reset for few more weeks I guess.
    • Now go to bed.....
    caroline and Robert_S like this.
  15. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    Today I had to look up something in my diary from a while back. I came across a passage were I described what happens when I got an itch attack on my hands at night (this remained even after the hand eczema was long gone).

    How wonderful is the human mind for forgetting all this torture?

    I know pain, but itch... It drove me crazy even to the point of self mutilation. A common attack would start early in the evening. My hands would feel warm, veins popping up, red skin. I would get a small itch and scratch it a bit. With in minutes small vesicula would appear. I scratch some more. With focus, breathing and sometimes meditation I could manage to stop scratching.

    However after I went to sleep the itch would wake me up. I felt stress hormones pumping through my body like it was pouring out of my ears, feeling all hot and agitated. And the itch... unbearable. I would scratch my skin until it bled and then... some more. This wasn't enough to stop the itching. I would bang my head against the wall out of fear and frustration. One night I even took a small potato knife and scratch away layers of dry and mutilated skin. Or put my hands in almost too hot water.

    When I got to the doctors office the day after he would give me some creams with steroids for the billionth time. Not working, it did absolutely nothing for me. And this was my fault they said. I wasn't applying enough or some other excuse why this wouldn't work. I applied a crap pile of this stuff without any effect. Nothing really helped. Till someone mentioned cold water worked for him. But not just cold water... no really really really cold water. So I tried and it worked. I put my hands on ice if they get itchy. After moving into my new house the night time itch disappeared all together. That really puts environment in perspective for me for the second time in my live.

    So CT really took my interest and this is how I ended up on Dr Jacks website eventually. Though with my interest for paleo I visited before, but it was too difficult for me to make sense of any of the content back then. With all the strange changes in my body right now (seems like puberty all over again in some funky way) I'm even more determined. I knew I wasn't crazy... something outside of me caused this torture. So glad to have found this explained why (and hoping to understand it completely one day). I aiming at complete remission of HS and my tortured and broken skin. I really feel it is in my grasp now!

    Way too long story again, sorry:oops:

    This was 1 year ago. I still have dry skin on my hands but way better than in this picture.
    last june.jpg
    caroline likes this.
  16. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    Well summer is here... 75 degrees out of the blue. Too warm for my liking. Feeling thirsty all the day long. Eating ice cubs to cool down a bit. And of course now I manage to drink 3 litres without any problems. But maybe that was too much... feeling a bit light headed.

    Tonight I have to teach adult karate class. I've stocked up some bottled water to bring along, because I know some will faint from dehydration for sure.
    caroline likes this.
  17. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    Massive energy crash today at 14:00. Maybe didn't get enough sleep? Quality was good but 6 hours is not enough for me. Karate classes are till late on Monday evening. I can't make it to bed before 12. Or maybe carbs at lunch? Wasn't really much, just 10 small strawberries:(. They don't have that much carb, right. And I don't feel hungry or deprived. Anyway... I took a nap of 45 minutes and I'm back on my feet again. Maybe I just experience fatigue stronger now that I feel rested and energized more often. I'm not in the "zombie I could sleep all day long but I stay a wake and work frantically anyway state" any more.

    Or is this still mourning? Feelings of depressions creep up. All of the sudden I'm awfully concerned about the green energy project they are putting in the sea right before the place were I live. Windmills! Green energy, that is not so bad. It is green so it must be good. Even environmental movements that are against the expending of those parks are only yapping about horizon pollution. But what about nnEMF??? Those mills must emit massive amounts, making electrical energy from wind and transmitting it to shore via large electrical lines. Right there in the sea, were it doesn't belong. Were I eat my fish from. Pfff it hurts my head.
    Hilde and caroline like this.
  18. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    Today was better thank god. I really notice difference in energy since I wear the gunners at the office. It is remarkable. Also I can manage without lunch pretty easy at the office. I used to have to eat all the time. Even when I just had break fast at 6AM, I had to eat around 8AM again and there after at 11AM and 1PM and 3PM and then when I came home at 4PM pfff. But this gone.

    Yesterday evening I went for a surf during sunset. So pretty:). I manage to nail the back roll for the first time ever (trying to learn it for 2 years now). I notice better timing in movement and this makes a lot of difference since a back roll just takes about a second. Somehow my brain processes faster and body movement is more precise. Is that the result of more DHA?
  19. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    You are doing so awesome! I used to have to eat every couple of hours too ..... I was always hungry.

    Blue blockers make a huge difference!
    Cpt.Tired and Peertje80 like this.
  20. Peertje80

    Peertje80 New Member

    Thanks caroline.

    Ah well PMS it is then today. I didn't even recognise it because I used BCP for like... ever. Got in to strange heated argument with my hubby in the middle of Ikea (of all places) and just had the need for a major binge after dinner :(. Luckily the damage was just cheese and half a bar of 85% dark chocolate. Is there a bio hack to get through PMS without this mess? I hope it gets better with time.

    Speaking of Ikea... damn that is a life depleting exercises. My god all those people, the lights, colors, sounds... I needed the whole late afternoon barefeet in the garden drinking water and meditating to recover from this experience. I used to like going to Ikea, but I think next I will wait in the car. OMG.
    caroline likes this.

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