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Getting back to a normal weight from the other end of the scale

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Hemming, Jul 4, 2013.

  1. Hemming

    Hemming New Member

    I completely agree. I've always said its not about food, that's just the physical manifestation of my control mania. Now I wouldn't say that I have an eating disorder but rather a self worth problem.
  2. notsoperfick

    notsoperfick New Member

    Every one of us has worth and value. There are so many ways that humans give to other humans without even realising it. Never doubt your worth, to your friends, your family, anyone you smile at, the dog you stroke, the people you buy from, all benefit from your being around. Even if you dug a hole in the ground and hid in it, you would have used a spade made and sold by someone and by digging you have oxygenated the soil for all the little creatures that live in it and probably moved some long dormant seeds nearer to the sun which will help them grow.

    One of the things I practice is gratitude. At night, in bed, if I'm feeling low, angry or unloved I literally count my blessings and all the things I'm grateful for. It's astonishing just how much there is :) You just need to switch your focus from introspective to extrovert, make the world a bigger place and imagine where you could add some special Hemming value, life is not just all about you, it's about every living thing you come into contact with and can make a difference to.
    Lahelada, Jude and Hemming like this.
  3. notsoperfick

    notsoperfick New Member

  4. Hemming

    Hemming New Member

    Those are some good points. Thanks for sharing!
    Jude likes this.
  5. Hemming

    Hemming New Member

    Its been a while since I've posted which is mainly a good thing. But now I feel I'm at an inflection point. If anyone is still interested about my thoughts I think I'll do a longer update.
    Jude, shah78 and nicld like this.
  6. Lahelada

    Lahelada New Member

    Interested ...:D
    Shoot... ;)
    Welcome back ! :)
    Jude and fitness@home like this.
  7. nonchalant

    nonchalant Silver

    I'd sure like to hear how you have been doing, Hemming.
  8. Hemming

    Hemming New Member

    I guess I was going to do an update in any case :p

    Today has been a day where I've just felt good. My mental and physical energy I felt was back to normal. It reminded me how good I can feel if I allow myself.

    The inflection point is related to that. I've now reached a weight which is very close to my all time high (65kg) and I'm so confused on where to go from here. On the one hand I want to get stronger and bigger, both because I want to try something new and its fun getting stronger (besides that, I have 20 guys in the gym constantly encouraging me :)). On the other hand, I steel feel guilty for eating and wanting to get bigger. Every time I feel good I fall into the trap of not eating etc. because I'm thinking that all is fine now and I should maybe lose a few pounds.
    I'm trying to be very conscious of how everything makes me feel. I've had a bad habit of eating a ton of vegetables to avoid calories, which just left me feeling sick and I was still hungry. Its also about allowing myself to relax and enjoy life not alwas thinking that I should be doing something.

    Everyone is telling me how they can tell my mood has changed and that I look much better yet that nagging feeling of wanting to relapse and ruin my life again keeps being there. I feel like this is the time more than ever to fight it for good and bury it.
  9. shah78

    shah78 Gold

    Keep hanging out with those 20 guys at the gym.(This is coming from a guy who joyously spends just twenty seven minutes a month in the gym, not a minute longer.) For you the alternative doesn't seem wise. Sleep there if you need to!:)
    Jude likes this.
  10. Jude

    Jude Gold

    Great to hear of your progress Hemming, just keep up the DHA and you'll get there with the moods:) No idea about the gym...but shah's suggestion really is funny!
  11. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Hi Hemming!
  12. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

  13. Hemming

    Hemming New Member

    Haha, I will. For me the gym is so much more than working out. Its a sanctuary where I feel that no one is judging my weight - actually they're constantly telling me that I should gain (a lot) more. I've experienced an amazing support and got some new friends.

    That I'm definitely doing! It has a clear effect on my mood.
    Hi! Good to see you again :)

    Thanks Jack. I've read that so many times and follow it already. My problems are in the head and actually acting on things. I do enjoy the raw cheeses though :) I had forgotten about the heavy cream, its been a while since I've had that.
    Previously you also said that I should not fear protein. That's one of the things I've really been working with. I'm trying to eat more protein and I definitely feel better doing so. Given I'm Danish I'm a huge fan of herring and its so cheap to get here too.
    caroline likes this.
  14. Hemming

    Hemming New Member

    Another great day in the gym. Not because I killed myself but because I was able to lift some heavy weights and it just felt good.

    The challenge for me now is to keep momentum. I feel like I'm eating so much yet it looks like I'm getting leaner. I really enjoy all of the seafood and could eat so much fish - is there any limit to how much seafood I should be eating?
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2015
  15. Inger

    Inger Silver

    I am sure no limit, Hemming. I just eat as much as I can fit in ;)
    your brain screams for that stuff... as do mine...........
    I want my brain to heal... you too? :)
    so I give it loads of fat and DHA
    and sunshine and darkness
  16. Hemming

    Hemming New Member

    I sure do :) I just feel like I eat so much food that I must be overeating instead of focusing on what my body needs. Its probably just because I'm used to not eating as much that I need to rewire my brain and not feel guilty for eating all of the good DHA and protein that come with seafood.
    caroline likes this.
  17. Hemming

    Hemming New Member

    Fun thing. I've contacted a hypnotist to see if she can help me. I think they can work with the subliminal mind and its something that I have to try.
  18. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    such a great idea hemming ^^^^^
    I have had a couple of really awesome experiences with mediums.....
  19. Hemming

    Hemming New Member

    I've scheduled an appointment for Wednesday. Can't wait to see what happens.

    I was on the scale today for the first time in more than a month. A guy had poked for a couple of days to do it and I wanted to show that I can do it when I want to, not giving the scale any power. I was quite surprised to see that it was unchanged at best. I feel better and stronger than for a couple of years so its not because I'm relapsing.
  20. nicld

    nicld Gold

    :D:D:D:D:D:D That is HUGE, getting on the scale. Getting better.

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