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Emerging from Darkness

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Jenelle, May 4, 2018.

  1. Carson Coffee

    Carson Coffee New Member

    I am dumbfounded that it has taken me so long to discover: ... Sun and all things related ... Grounding ... Magnetic ... Sound ... Cold ... Natural vs Vitamin Capsules ... Rebounding ... Blue Blocking and related ... just Movement vs Static workouts/running ... Tanning Studios???
  2. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    IMG_8024.PNG IMG_8025.PNG I've lived in Indiana my entire life and never seen anything like this. Our caterpillars are supposed to be fuzzy & cute ... this dude has spikes!
    Phosphene likes this.
  3. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    That bug and Andrew Luck's retirement are linked via the butterfly effect FYI
    Jenelle likes this.
  4. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    I believe it.

    My husband and kids have been talking about Luck's retirement today. He's pretty disgusted about Luck getting booed.

    I read him your post about Indy & 5G.

    We need to start a family list of weird shit happening around here.
  5. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    People forget he went to Stanford.......another cesspool of EMF. They do not realize the effect of nnEMF is additive damage to photoreceptors over time to rob your cells of redox. His retirement statement said this EXACTLY. He was sick and tired of being sick and tired of prolonged recovery.
  6. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    Biochemistry done! :thumbsup:

    Apparently I went from pissed off and intimidated to "Exemplary" in just a few weeks.

    Moving on ........
    Sean Waters and Phosphene like this.
  7. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    I've reduced my days at work kind of drastically ... especially from back when I was trying to work two places. I've been out in the sun more ~ yes, often doing school work on the computer ~ but HOME, at my picnic table, in my yard.

    I'm learning my limits at work ... how much is too much, when to walk away and take a break, when to say no. Because there will always be shifts to pick up. There will always be more that needs to be done. I'm a perfectionist, and very dedicated to my residents. So the first place I worked was REALLY a bad fit. I never, ever, ever felt like my work was done ... I left there exhausted, often after being there for 14-16 hours, doing my charting under glaring lights at the end of my shift. RIDICULOUS.

    It's a shitty phase I think I needed to go through, but now I am very, very thankful to have it behind me.

    My husband has been on jobs that put him home more lately, too -- and the kids' baseball is done, and they are back in school, so we actually get some time ALONE together ... what?! :rofl: Most days, realizing how much I am still in love with this man... who has been there and supported me through every single goal I have ever set my mind to.

    Our 20-year anniversary was last week. Took our oldest to tour a college for the first time. It was a great day. Lots of exciting things going on. Maybe just everyday things that everyone goes through, but I feel so incredibly blessed right now. Taking life one day at a time. Soaking it all up.
    Inger, Jack Kruse, caroline and 2 others like this.
  8. Sounds like you are really starting to value yourself, and it sounds like you are starting to truly embrace the chaos........ and taking even more pleasure in the order that follows it... I think you should be really blessed to see your children reach college. That is mega for you as parents. I can only imagine.
    Jack Kruse, Phosphene and Jenelle like this.
  9. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    I've been reminded lately ... that some people in our lives serve the purpose of showing us who we do not want to be.

    As much as it sucks to be around those who are toxic ... and it is repellent, and does not make you feel good ... these exposures, in limited quantity, can also help keep you on your chosen path ... and even assist to perfect your trajectory.
  10. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Wounds from these people create wisdom in the wise who understand their purpose.
  11. I've been thinking this so much lately. I think it is absolutely bang on.... all the arsehole Bosses, colleagues, family, friends, ex-girlfriends.....

    They are Chaos... we don't run from Chaos, we harness it!
    Phosphene, Inger and Jenelle like this.
  12. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    An act of kindness ~ just doing something out of the goodness of your heart ~ can seem like such a simple thing to you ... you may go on about your day, and not even think about it ever again.

    I'm here today to tell you this:

    Reaching out to someone in their time of need -- no matter how trivial or superficial that need may seem to you at the time -- can be a life-changing moment for that person ... reaching far greater, having much larger and longer-lasting effects than you could have ever imagined.

    I was reminded today of this video, which was part of my first online class with WGU. The things that were shared and that resonated with me in that very first class made the cost of this entire degree worth it to me.

    I like the version at this link WAY better than youtube ... the youtube version seems to be sped up for some reason, and it doesn't give you time to really let his story sink in.

    Phosphene, Sean Waters and drezy like this.
  13. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    • We’re looking for both experienced tree fellers and those wanting to learn the trade of felling trees around Utility Right-of-Way transmission lines.
    • We have steady, year-round career opportunities serving our utility clients throughout the Midwest (MI, IN, OH) and Southeast (WV, VA) regions of the U.S.
    • Learn how to safely climb a tree and operate heavy equipment. We own some of the most high-mechanized equipment in the industry and we want to teach you how to operate this cool equipment!
    • For those of you who want to see the country, we’ll pay you per diem to travel with us!

    I'm gonna say I just confused the shit out of indeed by switching from searching for RN jobs to looking at jobs like this one. :rofl:
    Phosphene, Sean Waters and drezy like this.
  14. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    I'm supposed to be writing an APA paper for school. This has been weighing on me for a couple of weeks now.

    It's a Community Health class. We spend a bunch of time "visiting" a simulation city and gathering details. Then we're supposed to write this huge paper about all of their problems, zero in on one problem, and come up with a plan to fix it.

    I want to write. I love to write! But I don't want to write this stupid fucking paper about this stupid pretend city.

    My mind is so many other places.

    I signed up for Patreon again yesterday and read the relationship blogs.

    I'm reading The Vital Question, a little bit at a time.

    I want to be outside trimming the bushes along the back row of our property -- because if I don't get them down to an acceptable level, the power company is going to come one of these days and remove all of them. There goes the little bit of privacy I have here in my backyard.

    I keep thinking, when I get this paper done, when I get this class done, when I get this degree done...

    Bullshit. It's all bullshit at this point.

    I'm now an RN, I have tremendous earning potential that I did not have before, and I chose a specialty that is absolutely dying for RNs.

    But I want to climb trees.

    I fucking love to use my chainsaw.

    I want to push-mow yards.

    And I want to shovel snow. Since (for now) I'm choosing to be stuck in a place where we do have to deal with snow.

    What it all boils down to is: I want my time back. Every "free" moment right now is not really free ... and I hate that.

    Rant over. I'm gonna go work on this stupid fucking paper. :rolleyes:
    Phosphene, Sean Waters and drezy like this.
  15. I FEELS YA......

    You value your time... sometimes, we have to Spend Time Now to Get Time Later. It is a trade-off.

    Your Earning Potential is huge. Well done! Seriously, fuck what anyone says, Finances are MAJOR. Because Money can buy you so much freedom. Money gives you power and control. I love what it can do, and I love having it. But, the Time used to get it can never be refunded...

    Just make sure, you 100%, believe in that trade-off. Or else, no matter the result you will feel short-changed....
    Phosphene and Jenelle like this.
  16. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving


    This must be what my 90-year-old grandmother meant when she said she “threw a chain” on her chainsaw.

    You see, all I needed to do was type that post above “out loud” to realize how ridiculous it sounded.

    This is my life. I make my own choices. I want to chainsaw, I’m gonna chainsaw ~ and yes, it was more important to me in that moment than anything else.

    You see ... the school work is still there in the background, waiting for me.

    But first — I satisfied a need that I can only describe as primal — to move, to work, to lift heavy things. Out in nature. I made a mess. I cleaned it up. I threw a chain. Now I have to do something else. Lol. I don’t know what to do with that.

    Back to grandma. She’s now 92, and she is completely gone. It is horrifying. This woman who was my rock and the PICTURE of strength ... still here, still in “good health” ... but fucking GONE.

    It is one of the most surreal experiences I have ever had to mourn someone while they are still alive. Yet, that is what I’m doing. It’s slow ... and it’s painful.

    So ~ Grandma ~ I did some chainsawing today for you. You don’t remember telling me about that just a couple of short years ago ... but I sure do.
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2019
    Phosphene, Sean Waters and drezy like this.
  17. Inger

    Inger Silver

    wow. This must be so painful :oops: i cant imagine how it would be.
    drezy likes this.
  18. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Yes! Always do what you WANT to do :) :) I love that :) :)
    Phosphene, drezy and Jenelle like this.
  19. drezy

    drezy Gold

    Wielding a potentially deadly tool brings total focus in that moment and that act.
    Jenelle likes this.
  20. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    Yes, it does.

    My husband came outside after his shower to tell me he’s leaving for work. He did not remotely blink an eye about me out there by myself with my chainsaw. No, “hey, be careful” ... “don’t lose a finger” ... I mean, nothing. Lmao. It’s not that he doesn’t care. I guess he’s just used to it! :rofl:

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