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Emerging from Darkness

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Jenelle, May 4, 2018.

  1. Also.... the Red Nose thing......... Everyone is always commenting on it, but one thing I did which really helped it - throw away my Samsung Smartphone...... the up close blue light was the villain!
    Phosphene, Jenelle and drezy like this.
  2. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    It's so bad ~ but it's so good! :rofl:

    Man... you are welcome in Indiana USA anytime. And I am not even kidding. My husband would be like, "Oh, ok, it's the dude from London. Cool."

    I definitely recommend a summer visit ~ because, in case you missed it, the winters here SUCK! Haha.

    I don't know if I qualify as a Black Swan ~ but we do try. Daily. Thank you.
    Phosphene likes this.
  3. drezy

    drezy Gold

    My one little is 14.

    Yeah, you go from:
    "Oh,man he didn't take a dump(or nap) today"
    "Alrighty, guess he doesn't need any help with homework or projects..."
    Alex97232, Jenelle and Phosphene like this.
  4. Or is it just bad? Honestly, so torn.

    Hahahaha does he know everything about me?....... sometimes I forget, when posting on a journal, how public it is.... so many people watch but never comment. I wonder all the people who know our shit, stuff that we don't even remember we've written LOL.

    Thank you for the offer - once I get to myself set up in the Caribbean - I want to travel the US, so I'll take you up on it - definitely be making stops to visit all the mitochondriacs....
    Jenelle and Phosphene like this.
  5. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)

    You’re of course welcome to visit good ole central PA as well. May-October only!

    Better yet maybe you’ll be in the Caribbean by then and can pop on over to Mexico while a bunch of us are there. (Then I wouldn’t have to worry about how non-mito friendly parts of my slightly-too-big house still are.) :rolleyes::whistle:

    That song is cringe-worthy but I can see how it grows on you like a fungus. I had my hair like that chick on the right for awhile too.

    Sean Waters, Jenelle and drezy like this.
  6. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    Haha, NO ... he has spent zero time here on these forums. Guaranteed. :rofl:

    I talked to him about you a little bit last summer when we were conversing. I helped you, and you helped me, and it gave me the feel goods ~ so I shared it with him.

    And I shared it with the whole family when I was literally lmao about your mom saying "You and JK can fuck off out of my house!" (or something similar) because I'm sure there have been times when they (the kids anyway) have thought the same thing! :rofl:
    Sean Waters and Phosphene like this.
  7. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    Just wait until the day you go to take his car to get worked on, and you happen to find a box of condoms in his console ~ just out in the open, right on top.

    It may not hit you like it did my husband... but it hit him. Not so much the confirmation that he's having sex... More like, "holy shit, my kid's grown up and making his own decisions". It was a defining moment.

    It didn't really have an effect on me. I know that I've talked to him openly over the years about ALL of the realities of that choice ... and I know he's got his head on about as straight as I could possibly hope for.

    He also knows (because I've made it quite clear due to situations with other members in our family) that I will not be raising my grandkids for them. You decide to grow up, you decide to grow up all the way!
  8. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    @Phosphene I could totally dig up a picture of myself with hair like that! :rofl: It was 6th & maybe part of 7th grade for me.
    Sean Waters and Phosphene like this.
  9. @Phosphene ah yes... a JK event would be epic, but I also think visiting your homes would be amazing... you know, just to see how you all cope with people who say things like "take JK and GTFO my house" LOL... @Jenelle glad you enjoyed it as much as I did. Nah but seriously, I'll visit you all - need to go do CT @drezy place too and get chauffeured round Cowboy Country... maybe I'll meet Doug and see if he likes his own song?
    Phosphene, drezy and Jenelle like this.
  10. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    Lake Michigan with my boys. Finally. Only took 18 years!

    I spent a lot of time on these beaches with another family while I was in high school. That friendship had a falling out many years ago and I haven't talked to her in a long time. But I was thinking of them last night, and sure thankful for all of those experiences.
  11. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

  12. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

  13. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    So I don't gunk up other people's journals with my own stuff... an update.

    Worked 2 jobs for about 6 weeks ~ you know, just to see if I could kill myself, I guess. Lol.

    Actually ... I realized that the first place I was at really just was NOT a good fit for me. My 12-hour days were consistently turning into 15- or 16-hour days. So I started at another facility, working PRN at both of them. It didn't take long before I decided to let the first one go.

    I do miss the people. I liked and respected so many of my coworkers. I loved taking care of the residents. They become like family. But ultimately, it was dragging me down to a place I did not want to be.

    My new job is an hour drive each way, but it is worth it. Shifts are 8 hours and most days, you actually get to leave on time. The pace is not 100 MPH all day every day ~ and when I leave there, I can actually think about other things besides work.

    I didn't realize how very stressed I was at the first job until I really got away from it.


    So I've been hammering away at my BSN online. Loving this self-paced program. But I had to come and share with you guys -- my first roadblock:


    I just did my pre-assessment, and it's the first one I haven't passed with flying colors. That's okay -- it doesn't count for a score or anything. But it gives you an idea of where to focus your studies.

    DNA and RNA ... that's where I go first. My lowest score.

    "DNA Inheritance and Genetic Testing"

    "Nucleotides and Central Dogma" <-- (I don't even know what that means)

    "DNA Mutation and Repair"

    I'll be using resources like Khan Academy and whatever else I can find that will help all of this be interesting and "click" with me. @drezy if you and @Sean Waters want to dress up and make a fun music video or something ... I'm game. :rofl:
  14. Hahahahha... I've just quit my Nutritional therapy/ Biochemistry diploma, so I probably ain't the best guy to go to....

    Unless, they got any modules on Quantum Bi-.......... nevermind :)
    Phosphene and Jenelle like this.
  15. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    The central dogma of molecular biology -- in its simplified version, which is all I really need to know for this class: DNA --> RNA --> protein.

    Wow. That wasn't so difficult. :rolleyes:

    So I've moved beyond the intimidated stage, and now I'm fully immersed in this class. I had to wait until my kids went back to school so I could actually have some time to study for this one without being interrupted. I completed a couple of other classes in the meantime.

    Yesterday I was sitting outside for hours, while I'm learning about the harmful effects of UV radiation ... how it causes thymine dimers to form, and how our bodies use nucleotide excision repair to fix it.

    I started the day yesterday just generally pissed off about signing up for this degree ... and I realized it's because Biochemistry doesn't come "naturally" to me, and I'm going to have to put some serious, actual work into it -- which would not bother me at all if I didn't have so many other things around here staring at me that need to be done. I love learning new things. I don't love doing it under pressure or a deadline.

    But as the day went on, and things began to click, I actually got excited about knowing the things I am learning. Perhaps it will help me be able to understand JK lingo a little better. It's definitely taking me to a deeper level of thinking and understanding.

    All I have to do is GO OUTSIDE and what do I see here? Peace. Nature. Focus.
  16. The recommended reading list of books might help you learn quicker..... Nick Lane is pretty epic!
    Phosphene, drezy and Jenelle like this.
  17. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    I was trying to tell my sister yesterday about Andrew Marino ... we were on a discussion about cell phones & 5G.

    I realized later, as I was thinking about it in the shower ... I told her Dan Marino. Yeah, you know, the NFL quarterback? :rofl: I lmao to myself about it, then promptly sent her a correction text, with a picture of Going Somewhere from Amazon. I put it in my cart. I do want to read that one, for sure.

    Somebody has to stop signing up for degrees ...... or does she? It's helping. Maybe this is my roundabout way.
  18. Marino's book is epic. Teaches you a lot about how to Argue with naysayers on EMF. He lays out so many examples of where he completely fucks people up with his questioning of their views, using precise questions. It teaches you how to think better...

    But in terms of learning Quantum Biology, or even Biology, I'd say it isn't good at all. He states in the intro it isn't about the biology. It is an Auto-Biographical account of his journey, and all the people he meets and the events.

    I would recommend Becker's book. But, he discusses Magnetism and BioPhysics, and uses little sketches. It can be a bit, I don't know, vague at times. Although his glossary is epic, I don't think it would really assist you on your Biochemistry modules. It would be more suited to seeing how Bone & the CNS generate a current to heal/ regenerate.

    That is why I suggested Lane, over anything!.........

    Nick Lane is modern, and uses a lot of biology, chemistry, evolutionary biology. You would learn a huge amount about DNA, RNA - the differences between Bacteria/ Viruses/ Eukaryotes - human/ animal/ plant cells. It would give you the history of the fucking world and all the cells and how it is thought they came to be.

    It is dense, and you will spend hours on two or three pages, trying to download what he is saying.

    But, once you get through it - you are literally like a Royal Marine amongst soldiers in your degree class.

    It is tough. But, nothing comes easy. If you really want that degree go for it. If that changes, then I suggest that you don't be afraid to set the whole thing on fire, including all the money you "wasted" on it (which I would disagree is a waste) and move on to something even better.

    Money is a tool at the end of the day. People become too emotionally attached..... I use it to buy me Freedom and Shortcuts round shit I don't want to waste my time on. If that means paying £4000 on my final year, of a course that I've quit, and will never get certificate for... so be it..........

    I did exactly that yesterday. I literally forgot about it until now........ most people shudder at £4k going to waste. But I don't see it that way at all! I know more money is on it's way. But my Time, I can never get back. So doing that course and not going to Mexico/ pursuing Writing/ other ambitions is far worse than paying £4000.

    But that is just my perspective, I don't have kids/ dependants either so it is bigger for you to get this right I guess......
  19. Jenelle

    Jenelle Evolving

    @Sean Waters ~ I appreciate your comments. :)

    I added The Vital Question to my cart, so I don't forget about it.

    I do have Becker's book. I made it partway through last summer. I'll pick it up again ... someday.

    You are absolutely right about money being a tool. It takes a lot of self-discipline to not let what you want *right now* get in the way of what you REALLY want long-term.

    I DO want to have this degree.

    When I chose to become a nurse, I bought my family a backup plan for financial security that we did not have before.

    The BSN will open up more doors in the future, if needed. I'd much rather be standing there with the key in my hand ~ ready to go ~ than to be wishing I had it, and kicking my own ass for not doing it.

    I think a good question to ask ourselves is, would I be doing this if I weren't getting paid for it? I thought about this yesterday. Yes, I would (and am) learning Biochemistry because I want to -- now. It just took a little bit for me to get my head in the right place to do it. Now that I've gotten into the material, I do like it. And I think when I pass that big exam someday in the near future, it will feel like such a huge accomplishment BECAUSE it took a lot of work. You're right, most things worth having don't come easy. ;)
  20. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    amen sister......
    Jenelle and drezy like this.

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