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Depersonalization Disorder

Discussion in 'Meet and Greet' started by LukePrince, Sep 16, 2020.

  1. LukePrince

    LukePrince New Member


    I just wanted to tell you about my experience with depersonalization disorder which I have to this day. I found this post: https://forum.jackkruse.com/index.p...threat-low-t-destroying-brain-function.23775/ , which explains a lot, so Thanks Jack.

    I'll try and make it short:

    - Blue light addict all of my life since childhood (im 30 now).
    - Age 18, smoke psychedelic drug called Salvia, and contract what is described on the internet as depersonalization disorder - feel cut off, mainly visually, from my surroundings. This lead to years of drug and alcohol abuse due to absolute terror of the feeling.
    - Just before the salvia, I thought I smoked weed with mould on it, which lead to a feeling of blockage in mainly my right (but, both) ears. This lead to some panic attacks. I still have this feeling of blackage to this day. I was highly stressed at the time of smoking the salvia, and I think this was the reason why I contracted it, because I thought the blockage was a cancer eating up my brain or something like that.

    -Chronic fatigue age 18-26.
    - Discover meditation. ABSOLUTE GODSEND. Did over 10,000 hours of self-enquiry/meditation age 22-30. No more feelings of anxiety. Allow all of my experience to be permeated by my awareness and obsessed with practicing/studying non-duality.
    - Discover this forum
    - One day was sitting on the ground, barefoot (age 26) and discovered that if I deep breathed with this contact with the ground, electricity could be sucked up through my feet and permeate my body. Chronic fatigue disappears! Woohoo!
    - A few months later, realized (thanks to this forum) that looking towards the sun whilst doing this, I could "get more electricity/breath" in (there's always a point where I feel "topped up" - this allowed me to top up further)
    - Months/years later, I realized that if I had very attentive focus on the breathe, I could get even more energy in.
    - I do this 3-15 times per day, depending.
    - Mood/serotonin is at an all time peak! Age 26-30 I feel I have a massive serotonin level. Empty mind - full of A.M. sunlight deep breathing to charge me up for the day.
    - The electricity absorption feels very pleasant by the way, like my nervous system is being massaged/soothed.
    - Still struggling with alcohol age 26-28, but from 28-30 I've stopped the daily drinking, with a few relapses here and there.

    -However, this whole time, my libido is at an all time low. This is quite embarassing at my age. All of 20's no libido.
    - There has only been one time when it was actually working, and that was a few years ago.
    - Did CT for a month straight
    - Was able to hook up with a few women and actually have the "testosterone feeling" in my balls/tongue.
    - However, TERRIBLE symptoms during this month - I only pushed on because I was desperate to get my libido working again. Include: feeling of "sense of doom" after the showers, tightness in chest, tightness in liver, tightness in lungs, grumpy... for this reason I stopped doing them.
    - I am also exercise intolerant. I can't jog or sprint any more without feeling terrible the next day.
    - I find this rather strange considering I have no symptoms usually. I have enough energy all day, perfect bowel movements and digestion... no other symptoms.

    -I assume this cold/exercise intolerance is because of the thing that is "stuck" in my ear. It feels like when I do these things, the blood goes into circulation there and the toxins go into circulation, which give me the symptoms.

    - Only 4 months ago I started using fl.ux on 900k and heavy-tint orange blue blockers. These have been great. I got some positive detox symptoms when I started using them for the first few weeks which were pains in and behind my eyes/various organs in my body. This felt like a "cleaning" sort of pain.

    - I eat DHA as much as I can.

    Anybody got any idea what I can do next? The morning sun/grounding, BAB and blue blocks have all had great success. Would I need to do an extended water fast/ketosis to get the crap out of my ear? I've always been a bit scared to try this. I never feel that great when fasting or skipping meals.

    Thanks for reading and all the best,

  2. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Why does man-made blue light alter melanin function and lead to dopamine and melatonin issues? Melanin is made from the non-essential aromatic amino acid tyrosine. Melatonin is made from the essential aromatic amino acid tryptophan. Melanin can be made from the essential aromatic amino acid phenylalanine too. Both melanin and melatonin are photoreceptors in humans and melanopsin damage ruins both of them via freed retinol (Vitamin A) Blue light and nnEMF cause melanopsin damage and destroys melanin and melatonin. Melatonin controls autophagy and apoptosis in your colony of mitochondria so when melatonin is destroyed it means poor sleep and poor metabolism due to limited ability to burn fat and protein via the TCA cycle. Histamine is an essential aromatic amino acid that is quickly transformed into urocholic acid in the skin with sunlight with UV components. When it is not it creates itchiness in the skin. Blue light toxicity is associated with pale itch skin with melanotic patches. With photoreceptor damage in the skin and eye, the cell has to default to older evolutionary pathways of glucose metabolism or glutamine metabolism to survive. Sleep is always altered in this case because melatonin levels are destroyed. As a consequence uric acid rises compared to urea to protect tissues with higher mitochondrial density to promote cell survival until the environmental stressors go away.
    John Schumacher likes this.
  3. Assess your Environment .... study EMFs as much as possible and findan optimal environment to live.

    Conduct Lab Tests bodywide to see what is going on too. You are playing blind and low Libido says your Hormones are fucked. Could be Stress (EMF) or it could be your Gut. Or something more pernicious. Don't play blind for too long....

    Find friends, or Doc/ Nautropath, that is good and that you trust. You need people packing your parachute who are reliable.
  4. Glenn A

    Glenn A New Member


    You've done a remarkable job so far of following the advice you've found on this forum. Some of your results are amazing and I'm glad you've gotten these results already.

    From reading online, including other forums, my main suggestions of things you haven't done that may bring more relief are to check out methods of detox generally, and specifically for the drugs you were exposed to. You probably have a lot of toxic molecules lodged in your cells that needs to be 1)expelled into circulation; 2) filtered out via the kidney; 3) or dumped into the intestine via bile but bound then with eaten fiber, charcoal, etc. so not re-absorbed.

    You can skip the whole step of cycling out via the intestines if you learn how to do a "C-cleanse" where you take enough ascorbic acid (or sodium ascorbate) to cause your body to dump substances expelled via step 1 directly into the colon. Those toxins are gone forever.

    The other suggestion is to get exercise. With your symptoms from vigorous exercise, you should be content with periods of walking during the day. And try to stand as much as possible (yes, grounded) as oppposed to sitting. Besides walking, try tai chi or yoga. Obviously increase your exercise from a low level to a higher level until you can walk several miles a day.

    On detox in general, this discussion on how mercury is detoxed is still good:

    Especially note the herbs and methods aiding detox near the end and how any toxin needs to be catalyzed from cellular proteins so it can be expelled into the intercellular space and picked up in circulation.

    So now you have toxins out of cells. To quickly, regularly get the toxins into the colon, read about a "C-cleanse":


    A "C-cleanse" is going to remove most toxins, not just those you gained from poor habits during your life. Good luck!

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