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ColdBren's Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by ColdBren, Apr 27, 2012.

  1. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    I am so motivated by some journalers here and realize, it really does keep you accountable and more aware of what is really going on. I am not a good writer, so this will probably be all over the place, but I m very excited to more forward, and am also completely open to opinions.

    So, I am having so much trouble with sugar cravings, and siatiety. I am not timing the leptin Rx very well. I eat at about 7 but still get hungry from about 10:30 - 2. That pushes dinner to pretty late which usually results in poor weightloss....or weight gain.

    I had my consultation with Dr. Kruse 2 days ago and it is also a major factor in trying to get focused again. I have some kind of problem where my catecholomines are hyperresponsive.....anything small sets them off....putting me in a constant state of emotional emergency......it doesnt end when I fall asleep either, I wake up to major panic attacks, chest pain and shortness of breath.....this has been going on for about 20 years. good times.

    Dr. K thinks it may be a defect on one of my genes.....and he knows exactly which one it would be....could you imagine having that kind of knowledge? LOL Anyway, I am very interested to see what my 23andme test says.

    The point I want to make to myself today is "You are mediocre-ing the hell out it all lately" You need to plan better so you dont find yourself at the end of the day way over your carb allowance and still hungry.

    Thanks for reading

    After reading some other's journals I am realizing I should really give a bit of a background here. I grew up in a beach city in Southern California, wonderful childhood and wonderful family. I remember craving and binging on sugar/carb foods from elementary school. As I got older and more self conscious, I added exercise to offset all my carbs. For the most part I loved exercising and taking dance classes and playing sports. In my teen years and early 20s I was always a decent weight, but always had a belly, always. One summer I did a diet called the rotation diet and I lost 20 lbs in 3 months. So, that put me at 114 lbs one year of high school. It didn't last long and I believe that wa the beginning of really screwing up my metabolism, and overall health. So, around age 30, my weight has been in the 140s pretty consistently. But, it is also a constant struggle to just keep it there, let alone lose any. So like most people I tried all the diets and most recently HCG. I was amazed at the lack of hunger and the weightloss....which of course did not last. And so I find Dr. K from an hcg site and become completely fascinated....ironically with writing I couldn't understand at all LOL. I love how he would purposely not answer things and allow for the reader to naturally grow in understanding. So cool. So, admittedly I was here first for the weight/vanity, but when I saw the depth of knowledge, I realized he may have the answer to so much more for me. My history of panic attacks and anxiety and sleep disruption has really taken its tool on my body and my spirit. If this could be resolved while attaining a good weight/body composition....it would be amazing. And I believe I am on that path now. I really want this to be the answer, but not just for me, for all those people I see everyday now who I am sure have tried everything too only to be left demoralized, achey, fatigued, and embarrassed. The world needs some new answers....and when they can use mother nature and water to do it....it makes it accessible to everyone. So, needless to say I am ecstatic to be among the first to experiment with it.
  2. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    im glad you did this......as a growth tool for you
  3. You'll get 'there'!

    After seeing the link on Jacks FB yesterday about using the dive reflex to manage emotions, I was able to teach my 9 year old daughter this as a tool to try after having an emotional evening. I hope this is something that will work for her when she is a teen...she tried it and loved doing it.
  4. ealachan

    ealachan New Member

    Yay, Bren! You can do it! :)
  5. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    Thanks Ealachan...it's totally because of your journal and how honest you are....and I like blunt honesty too...LOL
  6. Hang in! I'm struggling too but believe Leptin is the key out of hormone hell, so I keep going! One foot in front of the other and ignore the voices that try to pull you down. Fall 100 times, get up 101!
  7. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    love it...
  8. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    Caught a cold from my mom, my immunity is thus not where I would like it to be, but hopefully i will kick this quickly. Ate pretty good today, good BAB, some fruit for lunch and fish for dinner......and one small gluten free cookie
  9. ealachan

    ealachan New Member

    Do you supplement D3? It seemed to help my immunity tremendously this past winter. We had colds and flu running rampant around our area all winter, and my husband actually works in a convenience store so he's exposed to everyone's germs all day long...but neither of us caught so much as a sniffle all winter.

    I feel safe saying that and not jinxing myself, so watch me come down with an ass-kicker of a cold on May 1st...LOL
  10. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    yes, I have really low D and supplement a lot now.....I think D is definitely part of the reason.
  11. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    BAB- good

    Dinner - fish and mushrooms.

    (stuff in between....not as good)

    Still sick, but actually CTd today and I think it helped, think I will get over this very fast. I would love to actually get in the tub again, but night time CT doesn't work for my panic attacks.

    Cant believe the difference in how I feel from circadian rhythm work, its amazing, I cant believe how we have ignored this for so long!
  12. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    Great BAB, lots of coconut oil filled grass fed ground beef and some whey to make sure I got enough protein. It really makes the difference (well the fat too, seems critical) Felt awesome all day, very controlled hunger. Had some US wellness meat sticks and strawberries with cream....I think Im done for the day at about 4 PM....is that okay for someone with cortisol issues? Can I be done eating at 4 pm for the day?

    So, physically good, but feeling very PMS"y".....this is the right time to feel that way...but I still hate the volatile emotions. I now crave CT every morning, especially if I feel any twinge of pain on my back. It is always completely fixed by a CT session....and I am still only at about 59-60 degrees. Health is heading in the right direction I believe!
  13. yay for you. I've totally resisted the protein as I keep thinking "another highly processed faux food"., but it's so hard to get the protein bab in.

    I realized today I've been taking little bites when I start fixing a meal - like it's 2 hrs of snacking/eating that I call meal time. I'm not eating great quantities, but I wonder if I'm not progressing in the hunger/satiety/ls department because I didn't do the reset long enough for moi. At 8 weeks I was so ready to be done with BAB!

    So from everything I've read, seems like being done at 4p is ideal! It gives plenty of time before bed, and a long fast period for your liver to do it's thing, then you should be hungry for breakfast. You have a kiddo right? What about a nice "family dinner" with good foods? Thats become such a nice part of our routine - it just feels good.
  14. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    Yes, I needed to realize I was not done with the leptin reset, just because I wanted to be done, ha. I have 2 kiddos actually and my oldest has a dance class or something else every weekday at 4...so I cant make a meal at that time...but it would be ideal. I find myself trying to down a meal right before I drive her somewhere...If I plan it right, it should work....summer should make all the difference. too.....cant wait for that. Thanks for the input...very happy to hear 4 is ideal!
  15. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    Just finished the Monk book on audio. I plan to listen to this many many times. The first time I tried the rose technique, where you simply focus on a flower....I cried. I couldn't believe the delicate intricacy that I completely ignore daily...it was a real wake up call about managing your thoughts. I hope to continue to move closer to these principles because they seem to have tremendous value for mind/body/spirit.
  16. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    Today is going really well, I got my bulletproof protein powder and tried it out, feeling great. I listened again to the last webinar and heard things I completely missed. Is anyone else really missing Dr. Kruse while he is on his cruise? How did I get so needy? lol I think reading his activity on the forums/blog helps keep me focused. More importantly, I feel so much better overall. Slowly but surely I am developing new good habits and teaching my kids them too (albeit more slowly than surely) I am still dealing with cravings an hunger, but they are definitely calmer than they have ever been in my life. Never thought it would be a good idea to pack my abdomen in ice during the most painful time of my cycle, but here I am and feeling better than ever. Cheers to new ideas...that work!
  17. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    While my timing for the leptin reset hasn't been perfect, I am really happy about how I have transitioned to a fully paleo diet. A part of me still doesn't believe I can actually live without my processed foods, sugars, etc. It is nice to stop and reflect on the fact that I have been doing it, my cravings are quieting, and all is improving in the diet battles. My scale has really not moved for a while, but my body does seem to really be changing. Pants fit much better for sure.

    Started doing the heart of the rose technique today during CT. Its been so nice having bouquets of roses around the house now and I plan on continuing that.

    I really do wish the scale would move faster. I wonder if I can exercise yet? Would that help or hurt? The phosphatidyserine seems to be knocking down my cortisol (and night time panic attacks) along with the blue light blocking glasses.

  18. Glad to hear your nerves stuff is improving. I was trying to take stock today after feeling bingy because scale wasnt moving. I realized that i feel so much better overall, its teally quite amazing. I feel the same boat - think im better, but it doesnt quite work to leave the rx.

    Isn't it nice to have some control over cravings etc?
  19. ColdBren

    ColdBren New Member

    Yes! Its a whole new world.
  20. skywaykate

    skywaykate Gold

    Even if things aren't going as quickly as you'd like, you are making great progress! Keep that in mind. And your work on your panic attacks will help you literally for the rest of your life. I've had a lot of issues with depression and anxiety in my life and looking back, I wonder how much was just hormonal and not something I really needed to suffer through? Of course it's all hormonal, but I mean, externally-influenced vs. internally influenced? I'm by no means over them but I spent a lot of time working on them, for years, so it takes a long time...you'll just be able to shortcut the process with Dr. Kruse's "tricks".

    Need to get the Monk book and read/listen.

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