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Christmas tree journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by MITpowered26, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. You do you!
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  2. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold


    Trust your wings Jason for they will guide your journey. Thanks for sharing part of your song with us- keep writing those lyrics because it’s a beautiful song your singing!
  3. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 26-27: A guy walks into a bar...

    A boy walks into a bar... pulse racing...feelings of shame, embarrassment, but all at the same time excitement and exhilaration. it was the second time in a row he went to the same bar and sat down at the same seat, attempting to chase the bar maid he took a liking too. He was all in.

    You see, something was different about this boy from previous. Women was his achilles heel. He hadn't a girlfriend for centuries. He was consumed by work. By success. It made him dull. It made him have low self esteem. Lack of confidence. And all at the same time avoiding and wasting time facing his fear of women.

    This boy was different though. Something had changed profoundly within him and around him. He was awakened.

    You see, he had a chance encounter with a wise man in Central America 30 days previous. The alchemist.

    This boy has been searching for something his whole life. Reaching. Looking. And a chance encounter with the alchemist proved to be just what the doctor had ordered.

    An awakening of sorts. A veil had been lifted on his consciousness and as the days and weeks went by upon returning to his homeland, the boy's profound vibrations grew louder and louder. He found community from far and wide. He found a greater purpose, and a journey just beginning.


    A boy walks into a bar, chasing a woman. Only for the first time he was all in for this random female prospect.. but more importantly all in on the passion of his life.

    On this second day though, something else happened. A second man walks into the bar and the boy instead chats the man up. The boy spoke of great adventure that lies ahead and behind, of passion, of excitement, and of living for the moment. He spoke with intuitive sense and of passion and heart. And he spoke of the alchemist.

    The man listened. He heard. And then replied.

    What transpired next was a devolving of sorts. The second man did no wrong doing. He only knew what he knew based on his value system, however broad, deep, real, it was, it was his life perspective. It was his yardstick.

    The second gentleman spoke of grave danger of this alchemist, of sorrow, of despair, of trickery, of evil.

    The boy was in shock. He was devastated. The gentleman repeated his message, again... again..and again. He was patient. He waited until the boy understood.

    The boy sensed some divine intervention had occurred. The universe messaging. A warning.

    The boy trudged home, having admit-tingly not talked to the woman he was there to see... but instead with a trajectory changed and altered.. again.

    The boy went home to his family - his mother and father. He hugged them and shared his new leanings from a chance encounter with a messenger man. He spoke of great regret, of great betrayal, and of great danger towards the alchemist. His parents nodded, and helped him plan his next moves.

    The man at the bar had shown this gentleman his yardstick. And indeed he learned to measure. With fury, blood-thirst, and with great yet faulty precision. He exercised his minds power, and measured his new found gold once and twice and thrice.

    But then something happened. Little did he know there was a metamorphosis still occurring within. The job was not done nor fully undone. He went to bed early that night... woke up and wrote a hateful letter to the alchemist and send it swiftly before sunrise. Surely he had been wronged, and cheated...but little did he know...

    You see, something else happened that day. A spirit entered his life that morning. A familiar spirit that appeared at a greatly opportune time. He spoke of forgiveness, of understanding, of peace, and of love. He reflected upon the boy. He helped him through the truth and reconciliation of his actions.

    The boy realized he made a grave misstep. He bit the alchemists hand..the one that was responsible for the metamorphosis that turned his blackened, burnt, coal and soot of past into solid gold. But the liquid future of choices was quickly settling into a reversal of fortune. Unless he acted soon.

    The boy learned something that day too though.. He learned something about his meandering journey on hyper-speed. He learned he was a vulnerable individual. Powerful in heart and soul, but in fact weak in mind. In fact this yard stick was a red herring. His real Achilles heel.

    The boy was measuring his gold with his mind, when it was made to be felt by his heart.

    Meanwhile, little did the boy know back in the jungle, the alchemist was fighting his own battle and journey. You see the alchemist was dying.. but he had been selfish as to feed himself water from his well in desperation, but did not realize his wife and child needed it more..

    And so it came to a head. The boy confessed to the alchemist and the alchemist confessed to the boy. The boy spoke of great sorry, of wrong doing, and of great worry. But the alchemist listened and comforted and again, spoke to the boys heart and strengthened it yet again. Time was of the essence, however, as his family needed the alchemist.

    And so they departed.

    But the boy knew things would be alright. Because he was living his live with passion. And he was learning. And above all else, he learned he need not measure himself, the alchemist, or fellow man by the shadows of their mind, but rather in the lights of their heart.

    recoen, Anne V, drezy and 3 others like this.
  4. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)


    Ya Fucking HOOOOOO!!!

    You are a talented writer.
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2019
    drezy and MITpowered26 like this.
  5. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    haha, love it.
  6. @MITpowered26, #realtalk... I feel you 100% in your Day 26-27 post. People will see what they want to see. Take it all in and take a day or two to realign yourself. There is value in every word, conversation and breathe that exists but also plenty of nothingness as well. It's up to us to establish meaning and value or cast it aside in the scrap heap. You're a smart guy, right? You were smart since you were a kid. You're not only book smart but also passionate as hell about your life and your future. So you have been thinking and dreaming for yourself for a long time to get to the level of accomplishment you currently retain. If you were seeking a savior that's what you'll get, if you were seeking a guide that's what you'll get.
  7. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Thank you for these words. :)
    Christine_L likes this.
  8. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    So a bird flies into a bar...

    Not just any bird but a crazy old mother canary.
    She has observed the alchemist and wise man from afar.
    But has opened her cage to share her insights.

    For the universe brought the wise man and alchemist together for a reason.
    For what I don’t know but it is just a matter of “time” until they understand why?

    Open your cages and let your intuition fly...
  9. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 28-29: Oh Wonder - "ALL We do"

  10. Oh no you guys... now its on...


    At the same bar, the crazy curly hair girl bursts in.

    "You got any Argentine vino?" she says to the barmaid, taking her place at the table.

    She sees the boy, the mother canary, the alchemist and the wise man.
    The mother canary looking lovingly at them all, singing her sweet song.
    The boy staring at the barmaid, the alchemist staring at the sun, the wise man staring at his hands.

    "My father is dead", the crazy curly hair girl says with a tear in her eye.

    "Life is a moment. If your loves and time escape you, you feel the emptiness of the present for the rest of time. I have come to know that we aren't all right, but we are alright. I am both dark and light, emotion and logic, chained and free. You represent a part of me. You are allegories of myself."

    She pointed to the mother canary, "love and feeling".
    To the boy, "passion and discovery."
    To the wise man, "despair and cynicism."
    And finally, to the alchemist, "connection, nature, intelligence... anger."

    The sun set on this day with 5 souls interconnected through protons and electrons, wires and machines. The story will continue, with another page, another blank slate, another morning to conquer.

    Phosphene and MITpowered26 like this.
  11. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 30-31: A man walks into a restaurant...

    Just kidding.

    I had patient care rounds yesterday at a dementia care home. As usual, it was quite “boring” and quite uncomfortable and something I didn’t really want to do.

    Something about it was quite repulsive in fact, but I tried to keep an open mind for life lesson. I don’t know if it’s because this living situation is such the anti thesis of the life I want for myself, that I outright reject being near it physically and emotionally.

    On that same day I went for dinner with a good friend. She is one to measure experiences by her human yardstick at times. On this day.. I poured out my continually passion for life and time... she asked me something subsequently. “So J, what did you do today to live your best life?”

    Part of me was indignant at that comment. How dare she measure and question something so sacred and precious - something that can’t be measured. It stuck with me and slowly rotted in my for the last 12 hours - time for my lesson.

    There are these beautiful moments that we have, that we envision, and that are. Then there are quite the opposite of such... moments that freak us the f*** out due to our perception of how disgusting it seems to us - like waiting to die without memory of who you are and the meaning of life lost in that slow, painful dance of death.

    And there’s everything in between.

    And what is this in between. How does one live without settling? How does one have a great life when inherent in the human experience seems to be this in-between?

    I don’t know.

    Perhaps mediocrity is a societal trapping - however, not of physical events that happen, but rather of cognitive traps that leave us empty without any extremes. Perhaps mediocrity is really a lost art of simple living, relaxation, of bathing in a practice of seeking meaning, beauty, darkness, all around us - no matter how mundane or monumental things seem.

    Move. Be moved. Seek and find. Look deeply and learn.

    Christine_L, Phosphene and recoen like this.
  12. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Here is a clue Jason for you.......Every day is a test in what you truly believe in the present moment. 30 years I faced a fork in the road......Optimal versus safe and settling. I've been paying for it every day since. When your current version of you becomes a “numb Robin Hood” you have a duty to unleash a storm on your life. Are you strong enough to do it? A Black Swan smirks and throws caution to the wind. We love this shit. #BlackSwanWisdom #mitochondriac #sunrise at Kruse Longevity Center.

    Christine_L and Anne V like this.
  13. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 30-31: Part DEUCE: Death, War and Love


    I have a reoccurring fear-story inside my head. Im at my best friends funeral. And I am anointed to give the eulogy. I am torn. I don't want to because I'd rather laugh and smile at a funeral, then be restricted by cultural norms. I am torn and I am stressed...but there is something more to this story... Digging deeper.. why I am misaligned in this death situation is because inside I fear that I won't care about the death of my best friend - or won't know how to "appropriately" grieve. And so part of me has calculated ways to not get too closely entangled to people, to friends.. out of fear of giving their eulogy. I've never attended very many of my graduations...I think one in total. And there was a reason why... the last question people only have have you is this: How have you touched my life... and the truth seemed to always come the form of a bomb that blew up in my face... I didn't touch anybody's life.

    I have another reoccurring fear video tape. I am at my own wedding, and my bride to be is about to walk down the isle. Only, I cannot control my self and I "check out" an attractive woman in the pews. This brings on great shame, both publicly and private. Digging deeper ... again .... the same fear, the same core story of close entanglement... and at its root ... a fear of being broken ,of being hurt, and of dark truths that I cannot love or be loved.

    War and Love

    I can troll well. Pretty well. I have said this before like a badge of honour.

    A different kind of entanglement that is love has eluded my collection of "skillset", however, for most of my life. I took a step closer today towards realizing the feat of dancing in the warfare of love. There is something equally gamesman-like to love.. as to war... but equally something so sensitive and subtle about its dance. Like a refined art.. at least on the surface.. there is something that so visceral as war is to love, but so much more softer in its dance. Its fine wine versus hard liquor. War you consume like pounding back a tequila shot...disgusting...salty...(imo)....love? An appreciation of wine that only can be cultured to refining ones emotions, sensitivities, and connection to self..humanity...and the human species that is the female.

  14. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    The scars are there JL in our lives.........but they do not hurt anymore. It appears you cannot forget the way the wounds used to feel when the wound was freshly made. You must. Scars are lessons of where the light entered and exited you. Black Swans always rise to the challenge of present circumstances. You will survive and come to thrive. You will turn your ashes to diamonds because Black Swans know how to add just the right amount of pressure to make a diamond from the soot of destruction. You can never heal in the same environment you got sick in. And you should never look for healing in the same place you were injured in the first place. These are key credos of the Black Swan.
    Phosphene, caroline and MITpowered26 like this.
  15. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 30-31: Part three: A short

    Use google calendar they said. Schedule in your dreams they said. Goal are dreams with deadlines they said. And I replied: F*** that noise.

    I have lived my life spontaneously. Without commitment, without planning. But something changed today. Mostly a learning out of necessity.

    I tend to drive across the sprawled out city solo,,, out of boredom. It's a reoccurring situation for me. I was parked in the middle of downtown today with nowhere to go. I pulled out my phone and randomly texting down the list of contacts with someone to entangle with, even for a brief time to go eat some food.. and then I took a step back for the first time in this situation... i went conscious. People plan shit. And more importantly, they don't drop things 5 minutes before your eats request, because they have a life. haha. I suppose I am a bit of a laggard when it comes to this teaching point.

    Its respect. Respect for them to plan things, respect for yourself to plan things. And so there we are. I can see myself 2 years from now in the Yucatan. Running my business for half the day. ...but then theres this other half of the day that has been looking at me like a giant abyss. A deep, deep, abyss. And I'm now smiling back at it because I have chosen today to start scheduling in my dreams... because goals are dreams with deadlines.

    caroline likes this.
  16. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    The right person will drop everything for you - at a moments notice. It will just be natural. You will be the most important thing.....
    recoen and MITpowered26 like this.
  17. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    I agree! haha. But on a whole.. I feel I need add a bit more structure to my life at this moment, and less whim.
    Christine_L likes this.
  18. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    If you were to be brutally honest with yourself in the mirror tomorrow AM after you see the sunrise, how often has your journey actually a path of choices you designed to self inflict damage, cause procrastination or circumvent your journey and real purpose?

    If the answer is more than ZERO, you need to work on only one thing.......HOW YOU THINK.

    Strong thoughts are accompanied by great emotions that lead to unreal realities in life.

    With enough time and reflection of how we waste time, you either decide to control your thoughts or be controlled by them.

    It is quite simple really.
    Phosphene, recoen and MITpowered26 like this.
  19. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    When you excuse yourself JL, you are accusing yourself at the same time my brother..........

    Never make excuses for choices. Own them. My worst ones are my favorite ones. They are my best teachers.
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  20. recoen

    recoen Gold

    I used to do this a few years ago- before I started watching the sunrise every morning. When I finally woke up, I realized I was only running from myself and my life. My life was not in accordance with my heart, intuition, etc and I was lying to myself about who I thought I was and wanted to be. Once I started listening to myself and what I truly wanted- during those morning lessons- I stopped going for day long drives to nowhere. While I do miss ending up in a random place for a new walk, I have not had the itch to run since. I like Dr. Jordan Peterson, I know he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, anyways he talks about how you gain freedom from structure. From my experience this is so true. Even if your structure is I am going to sit at the park for 4hours and do nothing but think, enjoy the sun, and watch the birds :).
    Phosphene, MITpowered26 and caroline like this.

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