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Christmas tree journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by MITpowered26, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. caroline

    caroline New Member

    wear compression stuff for C/T .....really tight compression shirt - one that is really too small to crush those darn pesky fat cells!
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  2. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    LIke a surfing shirt??
    caroline likes this.
  3. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Yes. Read the CT protocol Jason. Jack has it all there. Engage.
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  4. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 10:

    Weekends: Different level of pressure, same amount of bullshit

    1. Slowly eating more seafood in my diet. Small choices of change
    2. Enlisted my first CT buddy. haha. WE are pumped! As per jack, will start engaging on the other threads and start getting down to the nitty gritty.

    The "weekend" has always been an interesting time of the week for me. CUE: Sad fiddle. "back in the day" weekends were a time where I felt tremendous social pressure to party, hang out, socialize, belong with people.. despite being a crazy loner. I felt it hard and it magnified my loneliness.

    Anyways, enough sad fiddling. So, now that I actually am less crazy (ha! functionallly), and even more so lately after Cancun, my social game has reached a new level. It's interesting how like attracts like, and particularly how my value of TIME filters and attracts a different breed of person. One of adventure, "moment by moment" living. Last weekend in Canmore with the surreal hot tub experience, and this weekend booked up with two dinner (last night and tonight).

    I get living in the moment now. I get it. But this weekend has been an interesting pondering of what that means to me? And when it mismatches. Let me flush this out:

    For me, a weekend of "fun" seems to invariably mean at my age, still.... an amount of alcohol to be intoxicated by, a late night, dinner, maybe dancing. I remember looking across the table at everyone at that dinner last night (staff bday party). Across the board everyone was tired from work and didnt REALLY want to come. It was a subdued atmosphere. As I think about this, why are we cohesively flocking together for the sake of social pressure? It is a misguided CARPE DIEM. When you don't know better, you don't do better. You just grasp for meaning in life where there is none.

    I've decided after this weekend, I need to be more relentless with my pursuit of TIME. If people value ME and my TIME, they can meet me in MY environment. WINTER HOT TUB PARTIES in the dead of the winter night. MORNING SUNRISE CLUB. CT. Even for an outsider, you have to admit, that sounds like a pretty cool and somewhat easy sell. haha

    I don't want to say last night was a waste of time. BUT it really was. Too many people sitting around at a table, conducive enough to put on a facade and exchange niceties, but fake enough that you feel lonely and robbed of your time - lonely in the company of another.

  5. caroline

    caroline New Member

    I no longer waste my time with people when there is no REAL interaction and exchange of ideas, love, joy of life etc.

    We need to be relentless in our pursuit of of our own quantum journey!
    Lite Nomad, Alex97232, recoen and 7 others like this.
  6. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    ^^^^WISE AS FUCK.
    Alex97232 likes this.
  7. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Having met Jason........live. No way he is a loner. He is an onion that just needs to be peeled carefully and when you do it just right.......you'll get tears of joy when entangling with him.
  8. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Thank you for these kind words, Jack.
  9. caroline

    caroline New Member

    I always thought I was a loner too ....and I was. Now I understand that I was bored out of my skull because no-one interested me or challenged me - and I couldn't challenge them!

    When you entangle with people who are on the same road of quantum discovery ......the sun shines!!!
  10. Ronald Waters

    Ronald Waters New Member

    Sweet baby Jesus I can so completely relate. Before I started following Jack I thought I could manipulate the environment to work for me but in reality the environment was controlling me 98% of the time. Now I have learned that I have to chose the environment that works for me. It's literally like sailing downwind.

    Caroline you have spoken great truth. Public education taught me that it was normal to be bored out of my mind, turns out there just wasn't anyone around that could see beyond the darkness. Thanks for sharing the light.

    I always thought I was a loner too ....and I was. Now I understand that I was bored out of my skull because no-one interested me or challenged me - and I couldn't challenge them!

    When you entangle with people who are on the same road of quantum discovery ......the sun shines!!!
    Lite Nomad, Alex97232, recoen and 3 others like this.
  11. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 11:

    1. Began charting the course up the valley to begin understanding the science.

    But I wanted to talk about my experience last night with EM, my buddy Naturopath.

    We went to any oyster bar. He hated the oysters. In fact it was the worst thing he's ever ate. Haha. How we met? About 8 months ago I cold called his office asking if he was looking for collaborations for someone compounding his meds for his patients. He made a decision over the phone in 3 seconds to meet me. The rest is short history.

    Tonight was actually the first night we met outside of work, as friends. METRIC OF THE UNIVERSE NUMBER ONE: I'm certain my new frequencies since coming back from the VIP experience led him to want to hear about my new found "light," ... nothing to do with the actual knowledge. METRIC OF THE UNIVERSE NUMBER TWO: During the dinner, he mentioned he wanted me to meet some halfer asian chick at his workout club. Like her, I was 10/10 intense and "ON" when I meet. He said we would either click like magnets or repulse like magnets.

    Why these two metrics of success for me matter.. especially number two. Because nobody has ever said that to me before. Ever. And so for the living social experiment ALA Mitpowered26 of 33 years, this is a signal. A signal of a new frequency, a new elevation. Crazy shit.

    The highlight of the night - spiritually, not literally - was when my buddy EM fell on the winter sidewalk as we walked to each of our cars. You see, EM has MS, and he has a bad hip because of it. Its embarrassing for him, I know. And for him to fall in the face of his peers on that Saturday night on a busy side road of a major district of our city, hurt his ego. But let me get to why it was the highlight of my night: Because as I helped him up, I noticed I was not embarrassed. Sounds superficial? It is. But that was me. Normally I would be polite, but embarrassed by something like that... But in this case, it deepened my appreciation for EM and also my appreciation for myself. It deepened my appreciation for what we call humanity.

    It was a highlight of the nights clip reel. What I mean by that is not in some romantic pitiful way of someone "needing" your help, figuratively, literally. Instead, what I am coming to realize it is the fact that the universal signaled to me, at least ,that this was a man of depth. It was an overt/indirect touch of his life onto mine. It is only, as they say, when we see someone in times of crisis/stress..does the universe reveal that person to you.

    I went into that dinner with EM as my budding business partner. I left him as my friend. He is my tribe.

  12. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Thankyou for this. It would appear the universe reveals to you yourself... in others... when you find your tribe you just know it.
    Alex97232, Phosphene and caroline like this.
  13. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    ^^^^^^THIS makes me happy.

    I'm going to share this with you my son.

    What was the purpose of the VIP from my perspective?

    JT and me wanted to try something that men dying were interested in experimenting with........

    Could we transfer our passion if we took interested curious people and spent 4-5 days with them in our boiling cauldron of entanglement?

    Most who know us say we're cool separately but magic happens when we come together.........

    YOU Jason are proof of concept. You thought you were that shy Asian guy whose fuse could not be lit. That was your burden in your hand but neither JT or I would cry for you.

    Instead, we invited you to see in boiling water to see what kind of tea we'd make.

    A Black Swan mitochondriac is like a tea bag: you cannot tell how strong they are until you put them in boiling water.
    You made a quantum leap in 5 days. You taught us that one does not need to read for 5 years.

    If you create the right environment you can fast forward to Black Swanness.

    Touch moves us strangely by design.................

    We touched you and now you are touching the world right here.

    It makes me smile and very happy.

    Love ya bro.
  14. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    I'm waiting for my sunrise download now.
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  15. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    I'm usually quite uncomfortable with public displays of affection. But what the heck..love ya too man.
    Katejc, LieselK and caroline like this.
  16. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Winging it

    Attached Files:

    Phosphene and Kathy Spears like this.
  17. caroline

    caroline New Member

    a lot of love going on here .......bloody fantastic!

    I am just beaming!
    Alex97232 and Kathy Spears like this.
  18. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 12:

    1. Started working on a green house for CT. It's been a challenge, will try to finish it today then look for a deep freeze to put in it.

    My psyche is a little subdued last 24 hours. I dunno if its cuz its monday, or cuz I'm moving back to my parents house, or because of whatever. Will try to flush this out later. Took pretty much the whole day off to work on the greenhouse. I'm fighting.

    Christine_L and caroline like this.
  19. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    I decided to force this unsettling "problem" out of me before it threatens the life within me. As I walked away from the last post 6 minutes ago I think I figured out where the psyche shift began in the last 24 hours.

    Since mexico, I haven't been back to my condo, I've been comfortably living at my parents place. Yesterday was the first time I went back to condo to start moving stuff out. Two things happened while I was there:

    1. I got shit from my dad about how I didn't upkeep the place.

    2. I realized I wasn't living "in reality" as a "grown up." Triggered probably by 1.

    The truth will set me free, so here it goes. I knew something had been eating my insides the last 24 hours. I just did not know what. I thought I was losing my fire to be honest, my perspective on everything that I had gained. And it deeply disheartened me. But something had hijacked my brain, and I didn't know what.

    This is a hard post. Because I love my dad, a lot. But you know sometimes, my eco system could do without his influence - or rather I let myself react to his comments about not being grown up, independent, etc etc with extreme guilty and an extreme sense of failure as a man. You see, I was doing good living on my own. I was gathering momentum cooking for myself, slowly cleaning for myself, learning about nature, and most importantly, trusting MY OWN INTUITION and judgement about taking a chance on Mexico. In some ways I have made a grave mistake in moving back in with my parents. It's not really too late. Although the way I have initially rationalized it is the money will allow me to travel more in the interim. But the peace of mind, the space of mind, was what lead me to these great changes initially, and now I'm f****ing up my ecosystem.

    My plan: Ride it out at home with parents. I AM growing up. Yes, while I live with my parents, I WILL get daily messaging, critiquing, about whatever household responsibilities I may or may not be doing. TBH I'm a bachelor, we live under a different standard. truth. We aren't meant to be fully developed yet. And while I feel bad about letting them now cook and clean for me, its about perspective right now, more than ever. They want me home, they want to care for me. And that's ok in my culture, and I need to be ok with that given my ultimate vision. I CAN care for myself ultimately, maybe not at their standard, but I CAN. But I will choose to live at home and it will help buy me time to do things like work on a green house etc.

    I guess why the last 24 hours has been somewhat tumultuous internally for me was because something hit me, a certain "reality" that I was taking to heart. I was doing all this good stuff for myself, but I wasn't even meeting basic standard care of myself - namely cleaning and cooking for myself. And I didn't know to reconcile the two so I pushed it aside out of shame, of guilt.

    Honestly, sorry for the rant but I feel so much better now and much more renewed.

    recoen, Christine_L, LieselK and 2 others like this.
  20. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Something just happened about 20 minutes ago. I almost died. I was driving and was at the right turn minding my own business. In the flash of an instance, a white muscle car started honking. I turned to my left and it was going at a decent clip.... it lost control... then hit the bank and flew by the front of my vehicle. Near miss.

    He was okay so I drove off. What happened next: I started crying. I fought it off. Then as I kept driving started crying again. I'm fighting it off as we speak at work. Something you need to know about me, is that I've operated my whole life on the idea of not giving a shit about things, not caring, and priding myself in being able to walk away from people and things in 3 seconds flat. I wasn't attached... and as a consequence as collateral I guess I was numb. Things like this would normally not phase me, but this time was different.

    It was scary, it was sad, but it was also joyful and beautiful. This was a strong signal that for the first time in my life I cared .. about my life. I cared about my life. I valued my life, and I liked my life that I was emotional that I could have lost my life.. or at the very least been severely injured.

    Life is short. We don't know when its going to be over. I need to make this life count. Not want to, need to.

    Alex97232, recoen, LieselK and 3 others like this.

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