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Christmas tree journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by MITpowered26, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Thanks. I knew you didn't mean it that way. It's just how my true reaction was, so I thought I would explore it.
  2. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Not yet. We are 3% there though.. so its something :)
    Swen likes this.
  3. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Story to come... let’s just say, the landlord whom lives next door is quite an outdoorsy family.. and there is so much winter activity on the lake!!!! 109E3C08-9AB7-464E-99E3-56616CDF9E46.jpeg 54A6D95D-3281-4274-A0E9-2AF8153EC04C.jpeg 7D3E6A0C-9D89-4BAD-89FE-EC7AD02C10D9.jpeg
    LieselK, Swen, Christine_L and 2 others like this.
  4. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    We didn't really do anything. We are celebrating for dinner on my mom's bday (12th oct) .. I had to go see the cottage anyways and sign the lease!
  5. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Sleep log:
    930pm to 330 pm (6 hours)
  6. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Such a fucking beaut.

    Phosphene likes this.
  7. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    HIHI J,

    love yourself today, okay?

    the cottage situation seems ideal eh? I guess our patience paid off! I guess what you put into the universe is what you get out of it!

    time will tell.. how our sleep perhaps evolves? etc? keep our eyes open ya?

    but the landlord appears totally easy going, flexible! he hinted at coming with him and his wife cross country skiing on the lake when it freezes over! "we embrace the winter outdoors here, its our way of life" Sold. Hook line and sinker.

    and he didn't think we were crazy when we started talking about radiation eh? In FACT, his neighbor was affected by city radiation and moved to this very zip code for that reason. :)

    Eat your grits time:

    one third of it is setup J. Our moonlight zip code. Our sleeping environment SEEEEEEMS alright!

    the second one third will be our daylight zip code. Work is a work in progress .. we will make the jump to an outdoor office soon enough. keep going .:)

    lastly, our travelling zip code. The commute.

    Lets work through some process ya J?

    So the cottage. Don't think there will be viable internet beyond non-streaming internet surfing. So that's NO podcasts. NO videos. NO youtube. This is good.
    -download your playlist of music/podcasts at work

    Face dunks. Time to step this up ya? That's next.

    And lastly, letting go of the comforts of being at the store early to feel in control.. even though we just mostly sit and think.. at 430am... lol.. which is good... but i wonder .. if we let that go and chill at the cottage longer at sunrise.. THEN head to work. ya. transitions.. transitions...

    love yourself today j,
  8. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)

    Fuckin’ A for Awesome man!! That place is perfect!
  9. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Time to Fess up J.. before this eats away at you..

    There is something ugly we have discovered within us eh? We get bent out of shape when we see other people grow... We can tackle the why later.. but for now, the what.

    I think we both realize this kind of truth calls into question everything about our reputation eh? And I think we are okay with that.. and that's awesome. We have come to realize our character is more important to us. ... We understand now that revealing all these fucking layers upon layers, faces upon faces, of truth and art and substance and even lies, probably brings us further away from being understood, ironically. And that's okay.

    We will continue to seek truth above all else, at all costs. We are okay with this.

    Ya. We get fucking bent when we see other people grow. That's a spiritual problem for sure.

    "Sharing our flame does not diminish it" ...

    Things to work through. I love it. And I feel better now.

  10. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

  11. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    LieselK, Phosphene, Swen and 2 others like this.
  12. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Note to my pharmacist today...

    "have a fantastic day! i hope i wasn't too hard on you yesterday morning! i genuinly want to push you to grow [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    i know you love COMFORT. and what i want to get you to destroy in your life. because i think it will ultimately make u a happier, better, more fulfilled person in the end. [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]"

    I strongly believe my greatest career challenge right now isn't my business as a whole, its building my relationship with my main squeeze pharmacist. This is my greatest challenge, and greatest human work of art I am constructing. He grows, I grow, we grow. I know deep down inside there is a very real part of him that hates me, working for me, working for my business, and something he just really doesn't believe in, buy into, trust. And that's why its challenging. I've decided to not run away from him, nor give up on him. I'm all in. And its a daily embrace I've come to love ... putting love into the relationship with him daily... communicating with him, pushing him then0 backing off, ultimately trying to prove to him I do care about him as a person, not just as a dollar sign.

    LieselK and Phosphene like this.
  13. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    HEADLINES in Ice Hockey news today:

    ‘He’s addicted to getting better’: What the Oilers are saying about Connor McDavid’s amazing start

    Connor McDavid. Unarguably a generational talent, and currently (and for years to come) the best ice hockey player in the world right now. He's 20 (or something).. and he's on MY LOCAL HOCKEY TEAM.

    I never thought my ice hockey persona would be connor mcdavid. For all the sentiments above.

    And then this headline came out this morning.

    ‘He’s addicted to getting better’: What the Oilers are saying about Connor McDavid’s amazing start

    Ya, I think that sums it up. It's an addiction of not just my ego, but my soul, my spirit, my mind, my heart, my body, my past, my future, my present, my staff, my family, my patients, my city, my country, planet earth, humanity, the forum. Life. I want all of it. All of you. Everything. EVERYTHING. I'M COMING FOR YOU.

    And so to Mr. Sunshine.. keep this going.

  14. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    So this just happened..

    While my ego flare settles down.. I had a realization. This song has been the greatest lesson I’ve endures for the last decade...

    Underneath it all, we don’t want to be god. We just want to be loved. And that , I guess, starts with the man in the mirror..
    Phosphene likes this.
  15. Nice cottage!

    But don't be jealous of others. Their success is not your deficit. Their success does not impinge your success.
    Phosphene likes this.
  16. Swen

    Swen New Member

    I see a lot of myself in Jason. I think it stems from abandonment issues for both of us. Their progress means we are being left behind; especially from family.
  17. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Nice resonance @Swen ...
  18. A step toward healing is to identify it. What about others succeeding leaves you behind?
  19. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    A funny thought today. I always saw myself as a sensitive person y'know? "I am a sensitive person." I was proud of this. And then it occurred to me.. why does my music teacher say I need to work on my sensitivity with my songs... all the time... and then it all clicked.

    I'm needy. I'm not sensitive. Needy...sensitive to myself.. haha. Sensitive.. towards others? no. And it will only get worse before it gets better as I discover myself. Am I capable in the future ? yes.

    So chill the fuck out.. stop being hard on yourself and expecting to fucking sing beautifully at this moment in life... HOW CAN YOU EXPECT TO SING WITH SENSITIVITY IF YOU ARE NOT A SENSITIVE PERSON. That takes the pressure off immensely.

    Learning everyday.. to operate this spaceship.


    Will you still love me
    When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
    Will you still love me
    When I've got nothing but my aching soul?
    I know you will, I know you will
    I know that you will
    Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
    Phosphene and Christine_L like this.
  20. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    @Christine_L the queen of questions.. (really good questions)

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