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Christmas tree journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by MITpowered26, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member


    Parting words before we wind down for the evening. It's been interesting, soulful tonight.

    A throw-down at moms house about reckless spending, and dooms of my business.. A 3 year old that shit his pants without a diaper on... and seeing mom handle the stink like a boss..amazing..(while I attempted to help but couldn't handle my severe gag reflex) seeing my dad hurt his back..getting blamed irrationally for it, but not taking it personally and loving them anyway. ya. makes you forget about the stress of the work day eh? Time is short when you start seeing with clarity.

    I think I get their concern though about my finances. There is one thing to spend on experiences, mentorship. No question that is not something I'm giving up. But, the clip we are spending on eating out is frighteningly unsustainable.. (albeit it has been all good seafood, so I don't really feel bad about it). I think we are ready, J, to finally step up on this challenge of our life.

    1. Cool it on the dining out J. Find some good groceries and learn to cook. Make it simple and easy, but do. We got this.

    2. I think we are gonna give up on fashion. Cut that shit at the head of the snake. We have outspent our necessity to survive with clothing for a lifetime, and then some... its an urbanized habit J, a social trapping. that is all.

    Above all Jay, when you have the urge to spend on things.. just stop to connect with yourself first .. the rest will take care of itself.

    A final hierarchal life plan J. Everything and everyone should fit within it, or ditch it.

    1. Self care (chase the sun, chase Ct, seafood, sleep, the principles, etc).

    2. Work - take care of it. its your lifeline to the freedom of time you desire.

    3. Hobbies: Writing. Reading. Meditation. Music. Don't overthink it, just learn to PLAY, J.

    night man,
    Christine_L and Phosphene like this.
  2. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

  3. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member


    Oh hello pops. Get better.
    Jack Kruse, Christine_L and Phosphene like this.
  4. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Sup J,

    Signs are pointing upwards for us ya. I recognize and you recognize this. The small things we are building grit, resilience, to accomplish. I suppose that's called "growing the fuck up?" ya. Grabbing the emf meter from the condo when it wasn' t convenient. Grabbing gas instead of putting it off. Having the courage to have a heart to heart with your pharmacist, your greatest work challenge you've faced in business yet - and on that note, navigating the relationship with him through your gut, and not via the millions of opinions that don't fit with you and him and your style and your guys relationship. I'm proud we had that conversation today man!

    Signing off,
    love ya man
    Christine_L likes this.
  5. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    for YOU J, repeat after me, you are a good guy, too.
    Phosphene likes this.
  6. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member


    Important coffee date this morning. Two actually.

    May we have the capacity to listen today, and hear, and feel their story.

    May we have the wisdom to share.

    May we have the strength and honesty to take care of us wholly, and then theirs.

    May we see the beauty. May we hear the music.

    May we rise to the highest truth that the universe seeks from us.

    May we just be.


    Our purpose is coming to light eh ? Our self-belief? The universe has given us so fucking much goodness from cradle to grave to cradle again. Time to shift. We are ready. So much beauty, so much beauty.
    Christine_L and Phosphene like this.
  7. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Real talk J,

    Let's set the table.

    Just stop and forget EVERYTHING and EVERYONE for a second. This is ME and U. Be serious.

    We have further signal that the cottage is yours for the taking.. tomorrow or Saturday will be full confirmation. signs are also pointing to it being a good zip zode for living. We will confirm the readings a second time in the weeks to come with our patient/electrician friend ya?

    But lets assume those two pieces fall into place...

    You are about to embark on a new journey, a new experience, a new exploration, most of all, a clean slate at giving yourself a fighting chance at a healthy life....

    I know we are FREAKING OUT inside over dooms of failure, loneliness, perceived personal weaknesses.

    Assume there will be challenges. Times when "reality" and "gravity" sets in. Maybe the long drive won't feel rosy all the time. Change that. Put on some of plethora of podcasts on quantum B. Play good music.

    Assume there will be times you will doubt your decision. (And accept there are doubters and haters around you that are gunning for you to fail.) Change that. Realize there is no plan b. City life is no longer an option. You are off meds. You want this. You need this. YOU GOT THIS. YOU GOT THIS.

    Assume you will have moments where you are "bored," where you are "restless," where you are "scared" and live in "fear." Take the pressure off. See it like a curious expedition. That is the time to hold your self close and EVEN TIGHTER THAN EVER BEFORE.

    JJ Redick of the NOLA pelicans summed it up beautifully yesterday, directed at the rookie Zion Williamson after a recent workout, that he wanted to keep his playoff streak going: "Don't fuck this up for me, man."

    Nuff said. Your life depends on this critical step. Fuck, lets get gritty...your REDOX depends on it.

  8. RMW

    RMW New Member

    Go out there and take what is rightfully yours, J.
  9. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Thankyou RMW
  10. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member


    930pm to 430am.
    feel really good.
    Phosphene and Christine_L like this.
  11. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Nature's disorder creates connections to living things──that is what resonance is.
    Strong words are useless to a strong mind. Strong actions resonate with it.
    Begin by doing. There is no try with me.
    Hunger4More and Phosphene like this.
  12. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

  13. You'll be OK! Enjoy the cottage. I want some pictures :D
  14. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    aye aye captain!
  15. Swen

    Swen New Member

    i saw it as sadness tied up in the concept of the sad times we live in. Not a dig at jason at all.
    Phosphene likes this.
  16. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    I overreacted for sure. Blinded by my ego at that moment. I really do appreciate the patience, drive he has underneath it all :)
  17. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Sleep Log

    8pm to 9pm (deepest, longest perciieved sleep ever...)

    11pm to 4am.

    feel good.
    Christine_L likes this.
  18. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member


    You can actually hear your actions lately, eh?

    The way you just do your fucking dishes without a long pause to understand the existential philosophy behind why you must do such stupid shit.

    The way these days you are leaving your cell phone disconnected wherever you go, and letting go that nobody needs to reach anybody anytime soon.
    The way you listen to your mom's advice when you know its good for you, without closing off, or shutting down to it.
    The way you are taking steps to cook breakfast for yourself every morning.
    The way you are just putting your head down and essentially fighting for it with survival instincts.

    The way you (finally) almost have the office completely hardwired (keyboards, mouses, phones).
    The way you distance yourself from people with out valuable influence on you.
    The way you communicate with your voice coach these days, and tell him up front and straight out you don't want to sing fucking frank Sinatra ALL THE TIME for the next fucking 20 years, even if its good for me, because that is not what makes me fucking happy!
    The way you are embracing your challenges at work with your employees, navigating it your own way, y know? They are growing day by day, slowly like a plant. Keep watering, providing light to it. Everyday.

    And the way you are making time for people that appreciate and need the space and time with you. Your one and only patient that knows your journal, and has amazing read every fucking page of it and counting... you don't have to do that, but I know it makes us happy inside to do this. It's enjoyable (in case you are reading today patient zero!)

    "But you know if I waste my time
    Talking 'bout what ain't mine
    And you know I'll be last in line
    Just like last, last night"

    Bearface, Brockhampton

    la la la

  19. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member


    You are awakening to the truth that sharks swim the waters, vultures circle the air, and cockcroaches encroach upon your land. Wake up. Welcome to the real world, neo.


    I've had a bizarre thought on my mind J .. I'm giving up sex. It might seem comical, considering we actually haven't had a piece for years. But truth is that this has weight. We have so much fucking hatred, and resentment, and baggage stored away with respect to the fact that we can't "get any" ...

    Time to take the power back..
    Christine_L likes this.
  20. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member


    Hide your shame! Hide your shame!

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