I love this ^^^^^^ now you are talking my language ....

How can anything be more important than touching someone ....in whatever manner...

 

That is why I love Jeremy so much ....he touches everyone - in many different ways

 

BACK GROUND: I am a pharmacist in Canada, graduated in 2011 from Canadian Uni. Our province/state is the most progressive area on Planet Earth. IE I have the ability to prescribe almost any medication without a doctors prescription (IE I assess and write the prescription). Also, I have ability to inject any medication that is muscular or subcutaneous in nature (which is nothing ground breaking). Lasting we can order lab testing on our own. This kind of ability has allowed me to shape my practice very much. I love compounding (make custom meds by hand.. creams with multiple prescription ingredients "all in one," liquids for kids or adults who cannot swallow, custom capsules controlling gluten, soy, dairy, sugar, and "fillers" which we can use for example, tumeric, intstead of lactose...you get the idea. Combine Prescribing + Compounding has been magic for me. I get to help a lot of people with the amazing ability our territory has setup for us.

Tumbling down the rabbit hole, I found functional medicine, which I currently have courses I am involved in online, which I will probably kibosh after finding jack - because its now a waste of my time. Anyways, I belong to a forum of "functional medicine practitioners." Sometime in Oct 2018 someone mentioned a guy named Jack Kruse... in a negative vein, very stigmatic, very quackery of a tone. This peaked my interest so I started following him.

The first two months, his posts would come up on my fb feed, and with most things that come up, I would give it a 3 second glance and move on. Besides, his posts were really heady and out my league in terms of terminology, etc. I really didn't care, but with most feeds I let it keep rolling and slowly let it affect me via osmosis until I really think that its wasting my daily 3 seconds of time and provides no value. Jacks quotes were at least pretty cool and inspiring, which I is the type of stuff I dig on my fb/insta feeds.

Fast forward to I think dec 2018. Something drove me, there was a moment ,where I finally gave him a shot. I was searching for answers. Answers to my obesity, my fatigue, my mental heath. I wanted someone to get me off my "meds." I cannot track down the post, but there was one that clicked for me. Sometime after I signed up for full membership, cuz what the hell? If you don't invest, you never know whats on the other side of the door.

Something you must understand about me, is that I am impuslive. But more importantly, I am passionate about my personal growth first and foremost. I love investing my money into things that matter to this end.

Anyways, so I signed up. Couldn't figure out how to join the forum, but whatever, forums for wierdos with no lives anways. Haha. But what peaked my interest was the crash course on hormones. I listened to the first two, and wow! Dr Jackson (?) had spot on, concise, and precise, information on cortisol etc, which I wasn't getting from my own 20 K f****ing course I dropped money on from a functional medicine institute. By assocation, I was digging jack for bringing this guy on.

Slowly, I got deeper into his face book posts on and off. Still couldn't figure out how or why I kept getting rejected from the forum - but whatever, I did pay for it, but forums for losers/loners anyway. haha.

Anyways, I also bought his epi-paleo prescrption book. A little boring at first, but what set it apart was his unique on his heirarchy of protein. OK. STOP. Who the f*** recommends oysters at the top of the food pyramid. Jack all nobody. This guy is either really a quack, or he is onto some shit. I am a betting man and I'm all in on shit, and from what I knew of how he seemed to be ostrasized, stigmatized ,etc by my heroes of functional medicine, I believe I was onto somtehing. I started purchasing oysters, seafood, and did a fondue style thing everyday. I started even talking to people about this "guy I googled that talks about Oysters and shit" haha. I was pumped. Little did I know how deep this rabbit hole went.

Fast forward to January when I received an email about a VIP experience for 2 lucky members in central america. Lab review, 3 day consult. YES YES YES. I have been searching high and low for someone to help me, someone to believe in, someone ,anyone, to "fix" me. And for a 3 day consult, in "central america" this sounded pretty cool. I was utterly burnt out at this point and needed it. I applied as soon as I got the email, just taking my chances at seeing if I would get it. Part of me was like, ya right ,I'm not going to get it. The other part of me was like, if I do get in, then somethings up because why is nobody signing up. Then i reread it, and yea, it made sense. Its far, its expensive, and its short notice, so not many would probably pull the trigger on this one fully. I did. I asked for 12 hours to think about it, and then I did it.

Too many details to explain, and I need my beauty sleep, so here's a brief synopsis of more points:

- owe lots of money to my parents who helped me get my pharmacy business off the ground
-told my mom, convinced her I needed a break
-asked about 15 friends, practitioners, my singing teacher, to come. Everyone said no
-Mom volunteered to "take care of me" but we really know she wanted an excuse for sunshine. haha. Besides ,she would be doing her own thing. Little did she know she would be right in the thick of things and connecting with so many amazing individuals
-starting amping up my understanding of jack kruse. listening to webinars as I lied down before bed. Honestly, it was pretty interesting shit. 5G was like - whatever that sounds dumb, stupid, I wanna listen to some real science and some real things that will help me ,like getting rock abs n shit.
-anways, eventually gave 5g webinar a shot, and it was good stuff,good stuff.
-asked a few questions to jacks assistant about the trip: eg. when should I arrive, etc. it was good i wasn't obsessed over details, I think that allowed me to just experience without pre conceived ideas
-told my staff, they thought I was f****ing crazy, and what if this guy is gonna murder you down there or something. It scared me a bit-- But I just trusted my process... he has a forum, he makes webinars, he has a following etc, this is not likely. haha.
-anyways ,got to the resort, saw jack at a table, told him who i was sheepishly, and sat down.
-OK. I sat with jack and remember just thinking to myself in that moment, on a scale of 1 to wierd, this was f***ing wierd. I went half way across americas to meet some random dude, who I think may or may not help me look like a rockstar, There are people around him wearing wierd red glasses. I paid a shit load of money. And here I am. But I liked it. I like doing crazy shit. And at least this would have been a good story. Besides, I deserved it. I hadnt traveled in 5 years. Time for a treat. .. And what a treat this ride has been .

J

 

Day 7: Massive step for my long term escape plan. I figured out a way to basically run my business from abroad!! Huge. huge.

J

 

Excellent.......

 

Distill this stream of consciousness down.......Jason paid attention to his intuition........The March webinar is all about this.......Jason was one of the catalysts for this webinar.

I'm filming it today on Mardi Gras day. I have re written it many times........It woke me from a dead sleep as I dreamed what I need to say to all of you.

 

Jason .....that is exactly what happened to me......Crazy idea that I acted on ......My intuition drove me to buy a plane ticket and go meet Jack!

I didn't know where I was staying, didn't know who I was meeting etc. etc. etc.

Best adventure of my life ......quantum entanglement to the max!

And .....because of that two weeks in Florida - my life has been supercharged.

I have met the man of my dreams [my DH passed away 6 years ago] and we will marry tomorrow morning at sunrise, on the beach we go to every morning.

Thanks Jack for everything......you are our inspiration every single day. I wish I could give you a big bear hug! I will be thinking of you tomorrow ....and all you have enabled in me. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

 

Nothing matters but right now.......sooner we all get that message the better it is.

TheMarch 2019 webinar will never get you any closer to my mind ever.

Jason is part of that.

 

Good evening,

Just some reflections I need to get out. Just finished the webinar on Jack's Philosophy of Touch.

I just wanted to start with sharing a video of a song that up until this recent evolution in my life since mexico, and even up until this moment since watching Jack's webinar, has been the essence of my life in my 20s and early 30s

The song is "Motion Picture Sountrack" by Radiohead.



The song represents to me profound sadness I think. It represents this because through my 20's I fell into a deep social isolation, depression and psychosis after the breakup with my first girlfriend. This journey I went down in the decade after was both extremely rich - in grand fantasy - and at same time deeply tormenting, and ultimately a dark time in my life very far from reality and connectedness. Recovery was met with rejection from peers and family members that I needed the most in these moments of utter loneliness. It was met with being hostility and denial by my academic peers. Ultimately, the thread that holds this story of my 20's was sadness.

The reason why I am sharing this is because of realizations that I have come to light during the webinar on Jack's Philosophy of Touch.

You see, since Mexico, my experience as a self-interested being has been one of a great awakening, excitement, energy, and vitality - from Jack, to the people that participated in the event, and the bleeding of this awakening onto my life at home. But there's another face to this that I have to share, for my own healing.

Through the webinar, I really didn't "hear" Jack's message, at least not overtly, because I was so fixated on myself, and my part I played in this perfect storm with these people. What the webinar really revealed to me was my EGO. The webinar was NOT about me, but I wanted it to be. And in fact, it wasn't about Jack or anybody in the stories for that matter. It was about connection, humanity, and the connected-yet existential experience that is life as a human being - the connected islands.

It has now occurred to me that the essence of my 20's has been one of selfishness, ego, and a lack of desire for genuine connection -- and not sadness. Sadness was simply a side effect of the story.

The lesson here for me has been my intention in connecting with people, with you on this forum, with Jack, with touching you in my words. The awakening that has happened in the last 12 days in me, has brought out a blunt, abrasive side of myself in the interest of "time." However, I don't think I have been in touch with my intuition through this process as I continue reach a new equilibrium. I don't think I have been in touch with my intuition... of other people - it has been selfish communication whereby I speak to be heard, and not to share, touch, impact others.

It leads me to realize the narcissism to my communication. And that through my intuition, there is something to be said about touching others and not just shoving your words down their throat. There is a gentle, delicate, precious, and beautiful grace to touching people with good intention.

I believe this is the next evolution of my awareness of time. That of community, connectedness, and not selfishness. That of giving (not to be mistaken with narcissistic generosity, insincere generosity).

Jack asked on the webinar a question to everyone about touch. My answer was this: vagina..sex...women.

I think my answer, may or may not have resonated with what the true meaning of his message was, but it reveals to me something. Women have been the real bane of my existence. Not my mental health, my school experiences. Women.

This has come full circle in that women to me has represented penultimate validation.. food for my ego. Selfishess, and not connection.

I'm pretty tired and cross eyed. I don't even know if this post makes any sense. eff it, POST.

J

 

Love this.........raw unabated and real.

 

rest assured that webinar was about our time together.........Many things transpired from Mexico until tonight.

 

This post made huge sense to me.....! Very very deep and beautifully written...... so much truth... Thank you Jason. It really touched me...

 

Thankyou for this note Inger. It makes me happy me more ways than one.

J

 

Thank you Jack. This makes me both happy and reciprocated -- yet at the same time feeling guilty and narcissistic. It's a double edged sword methinks.

J

 

Day 7:

This journal was meant to be a short account of my actions on the path to change. It has evovled into a different beast all together!

CHANGE:
1. Did something different yesterday at my place of business. I TOOK THE AFTERNOON OFF. I recognized I was tired and lacking full rest. I decided to be at one wtih nature in my urban landscape at our beloved glenora stairs. See photo attached.

On that subject of being tired, I want to expand on that moment leading up to my actions:

During that afternoon, I felt "burnt out again." I didn't feel like working. It was a return to my old self pre-mexico. And this deeply troubled me... was this the "wearing off" notion someone planted in my head? I thought about it for a second, then it clicked. I was "catastrophizing" as my voice teacher would say. I didn't actually sleep very well the night before as it's been a work in progress balancing an "awakened state" with "respecting my circadian biology." And the truth was really that simple. I didn't have good sleep.

Through that moment of reflection something also came to light. A return to my old self terrified me. To my numb, dead, unconscious life where work and money is everything, and life is but a future event in the distance. It has become clear to me that if I disrespect the teachings of Jack, of circadian biology, then I should expect no more than a reversal of fortune, a reversal of mind. Its nature.

It is so ironic that pre-mexico, sleep was my number one "ace in the pocket" in that I had no trouble sleeping whatso ever - I did it way too much in fact. And now here I am on the other side of the coin... much to my own doing while I adjust to a new equilibrium.

J

 

Congrats Caroline.

 

Jason,

Beautiful...raw...honest...all of it. Thanks for sharing. Never heard the song before. I also find it sad but I'm sure nowhere near your level. This is all quite the dance of 2 steps forward, 1 backward. At least for me. Thanks for your honesty.

 

Thankyou Kathy that you feel what I write.. It makes the writing and connection worthwhile.

Have a great day.

 

Do you know what Jeremy says about opposition thinking?

JT is wise beyond his years. JT said, "Stories of contrast have always been a love of mine. The hero and villain... the light and the darkness... the old and the new... the fire and ice... steel and glass. Whatever the particulars you always end up with a deeper appreciation of the two when held close to one another. To touch both worlds at the same time inspires my deepest sense of adventure and curiosity."

 

Whoa.

That is helpful. Hold both together present and part of you. JT!