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Christmas tree journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by MITpowered26, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. Inger

    Inger Silver

    You want die Jason, it just feel like it, believe me ;) :)
    I am so glad I went trough it! I cant even find words for it... it is SO much worth it all!!! And now I know, pain is not dangerous, it is there to help me grow, just if I have the courage to face it :)
  2. Inger

    Inger Silver

    IDK yet... I would like to, but not sure I can make it happen. Still have almost 2 months of work at the restaurant before winter break. Then I can see what I can do or not :)
  3. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    Can you be consistent, please?
    First, you said:
    now you:
    Sous vide half cooked yolks

    Edible parts of eggs are usually thought of as whites and yolks.

    What do you eat of the two?

  4. Saichi

    Saichi New Member

    RAW! with natto!
  5. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Clouds emerging

    I’ve spent some time with myself lately... eating good seafood at the bar.. slowly getting to know myself in its entirety.

    There is a character within me that I’ll admit is emerging within that I don’t particularly like but that feels good.

    “He walks into the restaurant, alone. Non chalantly. He has his blue blockers on. A health statement. But even more so, a statement of differentiation, status, elitism.

    He finds his seat at the bar and acts impatiently for service like he is somebody important. He orders oysters and other seafood items on the menu. Without hesitation. Mysterious and clearly someone with money and power.

    He makes important business phone calls, responds to texts and emails. He remains aloof with his head phones in.

    People stare. Waitresses smile. And waiters serve.

    He tips well. And he leaves.”

    End scene

    Oh boy. If there’s an anti-thesis to spiritual grounding.. it’s this. It’s not where I came from but it’s where I’m headed.

    I’m not use to it. And it feels good. Like an addiction.

  6. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Might be time for Inger to come to Mexico with Jason...........
    LieselK and MITpowered26 like this.
  7. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    My name is Jason and I approve this message :)
  8. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Self reflection

    Interesting experience tonight. I actually started reading my own journal. And really tried to listen .. to myself. I’ve never read my own writings, ever.

    It was actually not painful to read despite my perception that it would be. I enjoyed the enthusasism of me and everyone that fed off it. It was a fun read.

    I actually had moments where I was like whoa.. I wrote that? I’m surprised that came out of me! Proud papa here. Lol.

    I suppose This is a form of “facing yourself.” And for me, it starts with brutal brutally honest documentation.

    Also.. I have started to also see patterns.. lessons and clues within my journal that are helpful.

    I’m learning about me, through me.

    LieselK likes this.
  9. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member


    Do my laundry
    LieselK likes this.
  10. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Today I will

    Do my laundry 2.0
    LieselK and drezy like this.
  11. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    The start of something beautiful

    I vibrate in these mornings. I’m up early. And wait for sunrise eagerly. I drive to my spot. I blast my speaker ball with chill music. Shiver in the fall breeze. And think and feel and write.

    I’ve been researching ice pods. I’m going to put one in a spare room in my store. I’m super pumped for this idea. I can do ct any time of day at work! And as the exhibitionist that I am... there is a window that looks out into the front store. It’s like passive accountability. It’s fun that way.

    I wear bare feet at the office now. My staff laugh. It probably isn’t grounding but it feels good none the less. It’s funny when I walk out to the retail area to advise patients on some Advil and they look down.. nothing surprises them At this point though. Lol

    I’m trying to figure Out if I can instate a blue blockers policy at work lol. I’m certainly installing red and uv bulbs in the work and wait areas. No question.

    I’m half copping out of the mountains this weekend. But as I write, I realize it’s important I do this. And so i will. Leaving tomorrow and back Saturday. Consider it done.

    So.... don’t Hate me.. I’m heading to the members event and vip in January! I’m out of control but I love it.

    When the wheels are turning.. don’t put your fingers In the spokes.

  12. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    I'm always vibrating........I'm dynamic in how I oscillate.
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  13. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    I’m so jacked I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t apply myself internally right now. I don’t know if im ADD or blue light toxic or just Alive. I realize I’m very weird socially. On texting and social media I am like a social butterfly but in person I’m like dead pen. Not sure what that is about me.
  14. drezy

    drezy Gold

    It's the folding at the end that takes me up to 4.0

    If it's not easily done outside it's not a priority for me anymore.

    Did you ever consider how many people you meet in person that are really worth your energy? Maybe you're just smart.
    Sajid Mahmood and MITpowered26 like this.
  15. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    laundry 4.0 --> lol. nice.

    socializing --> thanks. i'll take it champagne papi.
  16. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Tanning naked outside shop and greeting customers like a good host :)

    Attached Files:

    LieselK and Phosphene like this.
  17. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    When ur good friend is a dermatogist who is obsessed with skin whitening and avoiding the sun.


    Attached Files:

    LieselK likes this.
  18. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    and it came down to this.

    There is a memory that has surfaced in my consciousness. Its grade 12. I just got a girlfriend. Agnieszka. I'm in chemistry class. I look over to her, and I"m over the moon. I smile, I beam, I radiate happiness. Across the room another guy named Jason looks at me, glares at me, and starts mocking my laugh. I deflate immediately.

    I don't know if this is the trace memory of why I hide my light. But it's certainly a memory that has stuck with me.

    I"m over the moon right now. I'm beaming. I'm happy. I"m on fire. As I sat outside the store naked a patient walks past. I try to wave, and coldly she glares and walks in. I am intrigued. I am concerned. I am worried. I care about what she thinks.

    I have hatred right now. Hatred for situations like this. Situations where I have seen the light. Where I'm happy. And I let someone curb stomp me. And then the story I tell myself is that I'm not suppose to be happy..because it makes people uncomfortable.

    FUCK THEM. Their problems. Their projected brokeness.

  19. drezy

    drezy Gold

    OK I eventually had to look that up.

    If you ever feel as though you're being guided how to think through your news stream, feel free to reach out.
    Phosphene likes this.
  20. Phosphene

    Phosphene Gold (finally)

    I have to look up every other damn thing on this forum. It’s like a PhD in Life.
    drezy likes this.

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