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Christmas tree journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by MITpowered26, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Cutting question. Giving starts with self Love and self action. And through Moving our own internal
    Needle.. our butterfly wings may create tsunamis in someone else.

    I think that’s the start.
    Sean Waters and Jack Kruse like this.
  2. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I am continually shocked by how little we are able to influence others. I am talking about myself and my DH.

    We are so healthy and yet people think what we do everyday for ourselves is just plain weird and a little stupid.

    The other day I gave a neighbour a piece of paper with this website and told her a little bit about Jack. She wasn’t really listening ....she was missing something on TV.

    Lately she has all kinds of weird and serious neurological things happening that no one ( her doctors) can explain.

    She told me she can’t really go on her computer much because she gets very dizzy. I told her about blue blockers ....she had never heard of any of this and isn’t the least bit interested.....time wasted.....
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2019
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  3. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    My stance is my secret. Jack might disagree.. but I believe it’s all in the marketing and selection of ur words how you influence others. Meeting them at their low dopamine level.. speaking at their language. For when people are closed off.. it’s not Information or truth that will set them free from a secondary perspective. It’s energy. And passion. And the right choice of words to smash their cage. That technique is called marketing.
    Cuffy likes this.
  4. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I understand what you are saying ....but think about this .....how did we wind up here?

    We recognised the truth when we saw it, and we responded.

    I was 150% all in from the word go. All I knew was there was this guy on MDA with something very different to say. It took awhile for folks to even figure out he was a doctor.
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  5. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    I hear you. The real then question becomes: are you worth it? However the more we can raise dopamine by guiding people through the dark to Jack the better IMO. Arriving at jack on your own only has to be one way. Just look at families of
    Members. You would think they would be the most resistant to change. I’m just not one to beat a dead horse. I’d rather lead it blind folded to the water.
  6. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    It is all very complicated.

    I first met Tony for lunch. He couldn’t get enuf of all this. The next morning he called me from his backyard. He was laying naked on the wet grass at sunrise!

    Tony intuitively knew and so did I .....@nd so did you.
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  7. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Maybe It’s dysfunctional patterns in me passed down from Familia. It’s my tendency that everyone gets a shot. Even if that means I force feed them, enable them, drag them across. Perhaps I’m confused and constructing the wrong ship here. I just Iike mind blowing people and Smashing their barriers for them and see how they respond with a little push off cliff without wings.
    Jack Kruse and caroline like this.
  8. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    On jack

    One of the ornaments of this tree of mine.. is an ode to jack kruse. What I have learned. How I am changing. Where I am going.

    Jack is so many things. He has cultivated a lot in and around him. Relentlessly. Chaotically.

    Jack to me.. is familia. Role model. Mentor. Brotherhood.

    Jack is inspiration.

    Jack has taught me you can and deserve to enjoy the finer wines and dines and things of life and still
    Maintain 20 20 vision. Maintain you.

    Jack is not a neurosurgeon.. he’s a brain surgeon using a light scalpel.

    The way jack can elevate the dopamine of everyone at the table and embrace people with special and careful balance of attention.

    Jack is intelligence. Wisdom. A dreamer, a doer, a philosopher, and a writer. He is lighthouse of nature.

    Jack cares. Truly, madly, deeply. About meaning in life, and truth, and humanity. About people. He is kind but not weak. Self centered but gives with love. Methodical yet authentic. Patient yet acts like a man dying.

    He takes control yet controls nothing.

    He is the epitomy of a book. Hard covered. And thick. But once you plunge into the cold water of the pages of life in his book and experience his atmosphere.. you can’t stop turning pages and reading his book under the sun. It’s peace.. and inspiration.. and perspiration.

    As vast as the sun.. as curious as George.. and as broken as the blue eyes of the ocean ..

    Brilliant. Prolific. Complex yet simple. Balanced yet extreme. Successful yet a pauper of time. Wild and natural unleashed.

    His people. His collection of people. This is the real art collection of his life. Ebbing and flowing like the currents of life... salmon swimming upstream.. pearls of oysters that are gold nuggets waiting to be explored and tasted and experienced.

    Welcome to the gold rush that nobody knows.

    Thank you jack.

    I’m grateful that I can feel grateful. You have filled my cup of good. With self- belief. With fire and ice. Sun and water. Humanity and nature.

    An injection of life.

    What vortex did i step into. What hurricane picked me up.. and destroyed me.. and left me to learn.. and swim.. and fly.. and live.. and write .. and talk.. and smile.. and feel.

    Beauty. Knowledge. Community.

    Slicing through people. And sewing them up with care.

    This is a man on fire. He Walked through it but forgot to come out on the otherside.

    For burning himself alive.. he maintains life. Through it he finds wisdom. And because of it he loves.

    He Dares to dare. And he’s daring you to step Into the fire.

  9. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Love ya JL. Great week with you in Mexico.

    Jack loves his misfits and chaos. Chaos provides us ideas that require people to reorganize their picture of the world provoke hostility. This builds curiosity and curiosity limits out narcissism of ego to build the wisdom we need to survive. This is how the survival of the wisest becomes reality. The only simple truth is that there is nothing simple in this complex universe. Everything relates. Everything connects and it is the job of the Black swan to see and comprehend the connection.

    On being renewed and being solo........"Single" means you are brave enough to face the glorious unknown of the unaccompanied journey. I'm ready for it. Put me in the waves...........
    Sean Waters and MITpowered26 like this.
  10. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Jason.........I'm not done with you yet........

    You are clay. You can be molded by many things.

    Your life is a sculpture, every day chip away at the masterpiece within.

    The master Black Swan looks for the character of each medium they sculpt. My misfits are made of broken glass. Their life is a shambles of issues and disease. When I consult I breath the best of what I know on their issues......... I just add the heat of my breath to those pieces to build something new; A new understanding of the data. The character of mass we try to impart a structure using our own very hot breath allows this new sculpture to become scorched in the ovens of human hell is a strong expression of the character of mitochondriac wisdom
    Sean Waters and MITpowered26 like this.
  11. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Complacency poses the biggest threat to any kind of love, romantic or for your circle of SIX. That’s when you get lazy and take them for granted. You stop talking about your problems and just suppress all of your little gripes. You pretend like things are fine, when they’re actually crumbling.

    Don't fucking settle.
  12. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    I have hatred for going back into the environment that has made me sick. Not super sick yet, but sick. I feel the comfort, complacency, checking me out. Testing me. Sewing back up these opened wounds with pus and sickness still there. Covering it up.

    I'm closing in on another move again. This time to but fuck nowhere on a lake outside the city. I want to buy some cheap lake land property, put a biohacked, tiny home on it. and live off the grid. Im looking at the property on sunday. Maybe I can make it an air BnB and add a second room. I want to build a geothermal pool on the acre of land, two of them. A hot and a cold. The good thing is if the tiny home is too tiny for my urban lifestyle, it will mean I have no choice but to roam outside and play. And wont have to wait fucking an hour past sunrise for the sun to rise past the tall buildings in the park in my current area.

    I'm excited. Its a big move. And I like the big cuts. They are easier for me. This particular situation though is somewhat scary and frightening for me. Living in the dead of winter... left alone to my thoughts...and nature.

    Its the small fine sanding of the sculpture though, the un-mundaning of the mundane. The small tweaks that I succumb lazy to. The repetition daily. Of things that aren't novelty and sexy ideas anymore. The biggest underlying stimulus pattern I see is my work environment. Its part of why I'm not thinking high dopamine. Working long hours and going home exhausted and just fucking sleeping. And eating garbage. Hacking work will be key. And if living alone in the country in nature will also undo the bullshit in my life, I will comply.

    Why is life so much more complicated now that I'm back home. All this fucking garbage stimulus that leads to solving stupid problems.

    Simplify your environment and you simply your life. And that's a good thing.

    Do I really want to be around all these low dopamine people? Wirelessly transmitting low dopamine bullshit, moving my needle back to baseline? Like fuck. I need to decide what my priorities are: Being alone in a social world of diseased thinking. or being alone in the vastness of nature.

    Time to self-homeschool myself. Unwire. Rewire. And remove myself. Severe the ties to these fake, plastic, trees.

    So for now, time to embrace the suck. Here is my daily shit sandwich:

    1. Meet sunrise in an hour and a half.

    2. Continually hacking my work environment

    3. Light up my staff, light up my patients.

    Ok. So that's not that shitty of a sandwich. :)

    Sean Waters, Anne V and caroline like this.
  13. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Building my emf team

    1. Brian Hoyer (shielded healing)

    2. GreenMoxie (Canadian tiny home builder)

    3. Kenton Zerbin (off grid tiny home consultant)

    4. Jack Kruse

    Need my office space assessed as well.

  14. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member


    I’m starting to realize how important my interactions with women is as a measure stick in my thinking.. road to optimal, return to nature.

    Diving in. Paving new behaviors of taking control of the steering wheel. Expressing your needs.

    Women are in touch. With every micro expression of your being. The female check to the male

    Today I took control. I went for it. I told
    Someone I wanted to meet them directly .. established where and when.. at a big dog park.. in the morning.


    She liked it.

    Sean Waters and caroline like this.
  15. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I think we need to build better bridges with the people we care most about.

    There has to be open and honest communication .....and a huge amount of patience.

    We have to really listen and really observe and be 100% all in.

    We all view things so differently, and then there is the man/woman thing to really complicate things!

    Be kind and tender and patient .....and strong.

    Tall order isn’t it....
    Sean Waters, Anne V and MITpowered26 like this.
  16. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    One other thing ....we are adults - we need to ask for what we want and need and what is important to each of us.

    Nobody in our life is a mind reader....
    Sean Waters, Anne V and MITpowered26 like this.
  17. drezy

    drezy Gold

    It's like you read my mind....
  18. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Bless this daily bread

    There is something so fucking mundane and boring about my daily life...I want more of life and I expect more of myself.

    It’s not a gratitude thing - it’s an “I need to start caring for my life” thing. The way I see it... I have maybe 6 to 8 weeks before I return to baseline — before I come down with the sickness again. I’ve bought myself another window, lifeline, opportunity, to correct things.

    I know I can do better. If I’m going to be self critical.. well let’s just fucking embrace that wave instead of trying to fight it y”know?

    Daily tasks:
    1.Look Into magnetico.
    2. Look into store uv bulbs
    3 dress for sunrise

    I picked up my parents at the airport yesterday: but prior to that.. I went for dinner with sis and brother in law. As health care professionals.. I’ll be the first to say That from my point of view.. they are fucked In the head and so is my nephew... I hope they get it one day.

    “You didn’t wear sunscreen? Ur gonna get cancer!”

    No. Stop your fucking bullshit dogma. These are not family I need to or should or want to associate with for it endangers my very existence. I hope them in contempt.

    They rolled their eyes.. they shut me down at my beliefs.. all white calling me “gullible” etc etc etc. Well tell me something o sis? Where did your esteemed Advice get me in life? What’s become of me? I use to listen to you like some obedient idiot.. passive, unhappy , dispassionate. You are not my people .. but I am kind and I will help you despite your flaws.. because you are so far gone you need my light THE MOST.

    For you. For my nephews future.

    I think I shall start implementing book time at sunrise. I’ll toggle between “going somewhere”’and “Epi-paleo rx”...

    But on the car ride home from the airport.. I was pissed. Stop ur reddit reading of this... and forming your limited fucking vision opinion.

    And then my dad chimed in. And worst of all and most dissapointing of all.. my mom chimed in.. negativity .. bullshit. You are not my people.

    Like for fuck sakes mom... you have been thyroid this.. i watched you light up.. how can you turn your back on me..

    It’s the environment. It’s a time window. For when we know better.. we don’t become better .. unless we actually do better.

    My mom rules the roost. She’s my in. I cannot give up on her. I will continue to push her to watch sunrise..

    Its the environment. The people. Who you surround yourself is like the difference between scar tissue on an open wound.. and healing.... it seals your fate.

    What I need to do so desperately is learn to find my people. And run toward That like a moth towards the light. And it will be a revolving door. As nature intended it to be. Our relations need an ebb and flow and chaos.. there may be times of dispute.. of emotion .. of silence .. but those That are my people will walk back around that door.


    I’m starting to see past the facade of women. And that excites me because it means I’m growing upwards.

    I’m starting to train myself to identify whether they are low or high dopamine. Whether their energy speaks to time or numbess. Whether their value speak to selfishness or empathy.


    Sean Waters likes this.
  19. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Insights from the morning sun

    It’s funny. All this time as I’ve lamented about a boring existence, I’ve had the idea I needed to go faster harder and stronger. This is true on the vip.

    Consuming experience, advice like a wisdom whore.

    All this has lead me to a moment... where I realize what I needed was to slow down even more. To be curiously, fervently in touch with my emotions and thoughts. For without that.. it’s akin to waiting for a teacher to open your scalp up and insert xyz.

    No. Without sloooowing it down enough to hear myself.. I cannot learn and digest. I am the rate limiting step In my own learning.. and to speed up I must slow down. I must open up myself to the lessons of nature and universe.

    Sean Waters likes this.
  20. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Further insights

    I lead with boring not because I’m boring. But because I’m bored.

    In my 20s, stimulated by “mental instability,” I’ve experienced some of the richest galaxies and profound moments and exquisite emotions.. in my mind. A recovering experience Addict.

    Maybe I’m chasing that still. Maybe it’s spoiled me in some regard. Maybe I’m numb because I’m bored. For one could perceive my existence as Intense, exciting in moments, but for me.. the missing piece is not a lack of gratitude.. it’s a lacking of soul. To take in amazing experiences and have the ability to enjoy it truly.. and learn from
    It deeply. That. Is. What. I. Lack.

    Sean Waters likes this.

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