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Christmas tree journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by MITpowered26, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

  2. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    I am lovin’ the energy here... good stuff!
  3. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    day 140 - 145 - a fine day

    I've been lit on fire today. For a multitude of reasons. I'm oozing with light, positivity, energy, perspective, appreciation, gratitude.

    This couldn't have been possible to have a day like today with the darkness that shrouded my mind in recent times.

    I've been cutting my hours at work to minimal, to only focus on the key activities. This was the first thing. Secondly. I went with my dad to do deliveries all day. We went back to his place and he showed me how to check where the stud is in the wall. I am elated. I am elated because my dad taught me something. Not to say he has not before, but for the first time my mind is such that I appreciate, recognize, acknowledge, a simple thing such as the lesson he taught me today.

    Flashback to yesterday, I spend a good evening with my best friend, JS. She opened up about her really beautiful love story she is in pain about right now. She mentored me by making me realize I have "only one mother and father." I got it, it clicked this time. "Jason, challenge yourself to meet their annoyances with love, humour..maybe you'd be surprised by how they can also perhaps change if they feel you also are showing love to them and acceptance of who they are?"

    Anyways, thats point one. The stud lesson with my dad.

    Two: I went on a date...one i'm sure of many that I am slowly lining up. Something is different about me. Sure dates are nice, and a long time coming. But I am not elated over these events...I am elated over my state of mind. My attitude. You see, I have resolved to not focus on chasing a "model girlfriend" nor focus on chasing "sex." Those two tweaks have given me so much happiness lately. Call it lowering your standards so to speak. But anyways, I went on a date. She was metis. I wasn't fully attracted, but you know what? I have the approach to just meet these girls and get to know them, and to get to know myself in the process. Ironically, I think this will attract more girls in turn...but its not a game for me. I am truly, genuinely, interested in just to get to know these women right now. I see myself finally as a prize too, and I should not succumb to desperation, rushing myself, etc. And so...I had a lovely time getting to know this woman I respect SO MUCH for where she started out ...(residential schools, canada, historical context...indian genocide..etc)..... I want to make the right decisions in my life, I am fucking on point right now. I could use her for sex, but thats not my game anymore. I would rather be her friend...and to come to a conclusion like that is HUGE for me.

    I saw a quote in insta the other day... "Its not about reaching your goal, no, its about who you become in the process". INDEED.

    Lastly, I capped off the night spending time with my BESTIE again, JS, who will be moving to another city to find love and get over the current love. SO frightengily beautiful of a story. I decided I need to spend as much time with her NOW, for soon she will be gone from my life into another city. Beautiful person, with so much value, so much love to give, so much integrity. I"m going to miss the lessons, the companionship, the bonding. But we are a hop and a skip away I suppose.

    Anyways, not sure if I missed anything. but I am just truly happy today. It was a good day. I think I am breaking through the clouds, and my light is, for sure, definitely, today, shining through. Lets fucking keep this shit going.

    Jeanne likes this.
  4. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    very nice .......quite lovely actually!
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  5. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Combining intimacy and passion within your group of friends will allow those relationships to thrive longest. #SurvivaloftheWISEST

    Friends are the family we choose. Best friends should be the group of people from which come the spouses we choose.

    If you feel like your relationship is more of a partnership than a friendship, shift your perspective to think, act, and respond the way you would to a best friend. Every woman you date should have the potential to become your best friend or you should not be wasting your time.

    This is breathing fire on pieces of broken glass........to make something new today:

    If your life feels out-of-whack or out-of-balance, you’re likely avoiding the very thing you should be doing with your time. It’s only in doing that thing that you’ll regain balance and peace. Avoidance of what should and must be done in your life leads to busyness and distraction.

    Today can be as great as you want it to be.
    Your fate isn’t set. You get to decide how much of yourself you’re going to put into today. Are you finally going to go all in or continue to half-ass your life??
    Today, begin differently. Rather than saying, “Well, we’ll see what happens,” you must powerfully state, “Today, I’m going to make shit happen all day long!”


    Do you feel me now?
  6. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    Rings a bell.

    .. upload_2019-7-24_9-14-29.png
    Christine_L likes this.
  7. @MITpowered26 I read through some posts of yours I missed, all that I felt coming through the screen was a lot of female energy. You need to amp up your time with men. Men react and treat each other differently. Theres something to be said about gaining more masculine energy from other men. I'm not saying machismo, chauvinistic men, but rather a calming, steady, stoic, stable energy. Something that fixes the chaos. I'm really glad I read you spent time with your dad fixing the wall. Do more of that. Let him teach you.
    MITpowered26 and caroline like this.
  8. I have a friend who says this all the time. He sounds so much like you @Jack Kruse. Every time I read your posts I think of him.
    Jeanne likes this.
  9. @JanSz

    Angel of God
    My guardian dear
    To Whom His love
    Commits me here
    Ever this day
    Be at my side
    To light and guard
    To rule and guide. Amen
    MITpowered26, caroline and JanSz like this.
  10. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Interesting indeed. I suppose that can be explained by being a passive son, with a passive dad, in a household dominated by a strong mother and sister. I love females and their energy. Didn't know I was becoming a female myself ! ! ! I shall ponder this.
    Christine_L likes this.
  11. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 146 -to 151 - Hairdresser Wisdom

    Another visit to the oracle for a haircut today. She talks some sense for sure. It's always refreshing having people like that in your life, that just tell it how you need it.

    "The truth is, everyone's going to hurt you, you just got to find the one's worth suffering for." JK

    How they influence you, make you a better person, challenge you, truth-bomb you.

    On the flip-side, as I've read in OSHO's book, choose your enemies wisely. As the games you learn to play from them either change you for the better or for the worse.

    It would appear someone near me is an enemy, not a friend. The games I learn to play with this person. The games.

    I like you enough to keep you around to make use of you, but not enough where I'm going to be with you. Control. Mind fucking. Guessing games.

    I don't know if this person is worth suffering for. Yet I continue. It feeds my ego. My ego-dependence is a drug I've been eating voraciously lately, my life has been good, but built on unstable foundations. But addicting and fun. I'm clearly not ready.

    Learn, the oracle says. Learn to play, but come out victorious, don't fall, don't get hurt. Eye's wide open.

    "Is this person worth suffering for." The probe of the moment, the constant evaluation of your environment and the friends and enemies you keep.

    Inwardly... am I worth suffering for? There is only one answer to that question, and its always YES. However, it is only when we realize this, we awaken. Until then, we are outwardly looking for answers, and the solutions are all but dreams unrealized.

  12. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    It is worth remembering that there is little point in speaking 'butterfly' to a 'caterpillar'.
  13. That's hard. I think that your default mode will be difficult to get past however you can do it. Tiger mom and cub to the core! Remember also think, who is in your circle of 6? Hell who is in your circle period. Energy, advice, love you need. What's cool is that you can learn from others by just spending time with them. I think your dad has those qualities to teach you. He might need your male energy too!
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  14. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Part deux: 146-151 - next levels

    I’ve been dropping weight since I moved out. I attribute this to being happier living my own life and less emotional eating... I know I can reach farther.

    I have the Epi-paleo rx book on kindle.. but I rebought it in hard copy so I can mark it up this time.

    I decided to go full on intermittent fasting at sunrise. One big ass breakfast and that’s it. Grass fed meat.. eggs/blueberries.. and salmon sushi.

    Tuesday’s will be my cheat day whereby i will eat twice .. once later at oysters Happy hour at 4pm.

    Before eating I want to do a light calesthenic exercises in my mito hq red light...(I know.. why not just walk to the park and workout there in sunlight, and I don’t have a good response to that, nor a good response to timing of the exercise other than I need to replace my coffee with something)...

    I’m going to try without coffee first and see how that goes.. but coffee seems to be quite the mood enhancer and stimulant for me since way back.

    I’ve also set my phone and computer to full red mode. Before it was only a lighter filter.

    Balls out.

    Last edited: Jul 28, 2019
    Phosphene, caroline and Christine_L like this.
  15. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 152 to 153: Wise or not?

    First day of the intermittent fasting went better than expected. Not really any unmanageable hunger pangs...I had fiji water all day. I went all out at dinner though with seafood/steak/veg etc.(I am transitioning to big ass breakfast, lol) I know I'm not making the wisest first move in some respects...when I should just work on meeting sunrise in the morning and vitamin-d load in the day, while the UV index is reasonable for my climate. Baby steps I suppose. I also am trying to build a routine for the long winter where I wont' get much sun output.

    While summer is still around, I finally also decided to make an effort to hit the mountains for hikes, and hit the nearby beaches while the sun is out. I think my solar callus is probably ready for prime time (?) I suppose the tell -tale will be how I handle doses of the daytime sun.

    Anyways, its oyster tuesdays! YAY BABY!

    Phosphene likes this.
  16. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 154 to 157 - Ups’s and downs

    I’ve been struggling to find meaning lately. I don’t feel I’m control of my life.

    My cousin lives In New York. He’s going through some shit right now. I’m trying to educate him on 5g and such.

    When he’s feeling down, he volunteers at the soup kitchen. It reminds him that there are people worse off.

    When times are tough, when you are down, when failure hits, it’s worth noting that we have a choice in perspective first and foremost.

    Maybe part of the struggle for me has always been that I’ve been looking up to what I don’t have... instead of looking down to what i do.

    I don’t need to go to a soup kitchen. I just have to go to a park, sit in the sun, and witness humanity. A man in a wheelchair.. I wonder what he is going through? Went through? What are his dreams? Goals? Wishes? Certainly the obvious is that I have mobility in my legs.

    There are people worse off and people “better off”. It’s a matter of who we choose to pay attention to and whom we let affect us.

    Christine_L likes this.
  17. 5G Canary

    5G Canary Gold

    I know you didn’t mean it this way but just a suggestion.... maybe you should go volunteer at a soup kitchen or go talk with a person in a wheelchair. I think you would be incredibly surprised.....we sometimes assume we are helping “them” but are we? From my experience, it is usually just the opposite many times- they help “us”... enlighten “us.” They can really help us to see a different reality than what we have been taught by society. Never assume you know another’s reality or yours is better because they don’t have legs or wealth, etc. You’d be very surprised to see they don’t need to walk and they don’t need money to be happy and enlightened in most cases. Many find happiness just waking up each day and seeing another sunrise or, sunset. These people have taught me many valuable lessons in life....things aren’t always as they appear on the outside. We all need to go deeper with thoughts and judgment of our lives relative to what we think others may be. In the deep is where we find life’s treasures.
  18. That’s all you ever think about. LOL

    Hi, Caroline.

    Q’Rad Randy
  19. caroline

    caroline Moderator


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