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Christmas tree journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by MITpowered26, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Personally - I think living a spontaneous life is a remarkable gift - to yourself.

    That doesn't mean we are slacking or taking the path of least resistance.....it only means we are open to all of life's possibilities - and are willing to act on them. We aren't afraid of what the outcome may or may not be ......we only are enthused and infused with life.
  2. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

  3. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    And so he sat and thought... what’s my best pick up line with today’s sunrise?

    Attached Files:

  4. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    My guy was very, very patient. Jack mentioned somewhere that patience is the greatest virtue/gift a man can have ...way better than good looks or wealth, great car, house etc.

    I totally and 150% agree.....patience works miracles and gives both people so much more than they could have imagined.

    patience = deep entanglement .....with or without a great pick up line!
  5. recoen

    recoen Gold

    I do agree that one must not become so rigid in their structure. However, my peer group in particular, seems to jump from the next best thing to another. Instead of appreciating what they have right in front of them and sticking to things- the tinder generation (thank God I never had to date using a dating app). Also, for me at least, if I dedicate 4 hours of deep work (for example), early in the day after spending time with the sun, then I find the major work I planned/ needed to achieve that day will have been accomplished. Then I am able to go where the sun takes me :). By having some structure I find that I am free to be spontaneous :). My priorities have drastically shifted of course as I learn more and spend more time in nature. And since having a child this has all been shaken up of course. He is a constant reminder to slow down and what I think needs to be accomplished does not matter as much. He definitely came at the right time in my life because I can tell I have been craving that insight. Back to the I was running from my life by aimlessly driving around thing. Children seem to put a lot in perspective. Especially the whole you do not need to run the rat race to be a good person and contributing member of society.
    Phosphene, drezy and caroline like this.
  6. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I really get what you are saying and I think you are 100% right.

    In my context ....the first thing we do every day is go to the ocean for sunrise .....and just chill and talk and make plans and walk in the surf. We each do out own thing. I endlessly walk in the surf and on the rocks and Tony climbs up and down the headland.

    This is a must everyday ... and the rest of the day , somehow, falls into place. Every day is an absolute surprise and delight.
  7. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Patience, from a man says a lot about their character and values. Most people never have enough data on how a man uses it in their life until they unleash it. Some never get the opportunity at a second chance, but those who are patient often find that the winds of change eventually turn favorable at some point in time. Timing is everything to the patient man.

    In photosynthesis, trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.
    I've found the same thing is true about human relationships.

    Masterpieces in our lives are created not by strength but by perseverance.

    Patience is power harnessed. Patience is not an absence of action;
    rather it is "timing". Time is always relative in this world to SOMETHING. Patience is about understanding what that something is.
    it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way so that your passion and purpose merge.

    Lies never end relationships but the cold truth always does. When relationships circle the drain do you keep talking or burn the bridge down? If someone loves you and wants to be in your life no obstacle will keep them from you. Remember, you are royalty, not a beggar. Where do we go from here?
  8. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 32-33: Waves

    1. Finally bought my RAOPTICS... I used my spectrometer on my current lenses that I had, and yea..they definitely dont' block. lol

    As much as I'm "over" yesterday, and as much as it seems silly to write about, I just need to get it out of the way. It's written, it's done, and its a part of my history now.

    I'll be brief. Very brief with this story. I matched with a girl that I was attracted to on a dating app. We got into an argument on text over different medical
    paradigms and the date ended before it even began. I was sad. Really sad. Overwhelmingly sad. A level of sadness that doesn't really match to a situation of entangling with pixels on a screen for 24 hours...hmmm. I really don't want to unpack this one.

    That same evening, I attended a music concert, a first in a while. It was an exception for an exceptional talent of an artist. It was surreal seeing live someone I was a "fan" of. A new concept for me, and I've never really liked artists as much as to call myself a fan before...but this man is different for me. And to see him live, for that moment in time, was something spiritual. He came into my life to touch me with so much love for such a brief time..only to leave on such short notice..and maybe forever. Its sad, its profound, but it was a beautiful evening.

    Last thought: It occurs to me today that I'm not sure if my journal is evolving..or devolving. lol.. I haven't really been talking much about my pursuit of nature...its more like a diary... but y'all keep reading...and it helps me.. so I'll keep going.. haha. Just a moment of insecurity.

    Christine_L, caroline and Amber Ament like this.
  9. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Nothing destroys passion or relationships like resentment. The wise among us know in a time of rapid destruction, create something new. That is the seed for passion's resurrection for your soul. Journals can act both new and old based upon how we write in them.

    What we write comes out of who we believe we are...........that too is relative.
    MITpowered26 and caroline like this.
  10. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    when you have great patience ......you really "see" the other. That is incredibly sexy that someone really "sees" you. Pretty irresistible.
    MITpowered26 likes this.
  11. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Seeing is not always what appears. My current situation is very akin to this.

    I no longer like what I see. I also have adapted how I feel in the most dramatic way of my life.

    The past is not ours to recover and the future is ours to win or lose because of our choices.......

    I see others choices now steering how I feel.........and that is driving me big time now.
  12. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 34-35- Angst and the ties that bind

    I have a lot of angst today and the past few days. I don’t feel in control. And that angst is very much tied to the day by day performance of my business. I realize I am not spending my work time wisely and focusing on the key driving activities of its success - I’m wasting my time, and it weighs me down.. like.. what the hell am I doing with my life in this current moment.. what a waste, what a waste.

    It’s time to rejig things and keep my escape plan on track...

    Another development... out of sheer boredom and curosity... I reached out to an old friend I had axed a few years ago - we were mutual friends of my former business partner. That partnership didn’t end well, this friend chose his loyalty with him, and so I axed it.

    And so here I am opening dialogue with an individual — in order to get information on the old partner... I am inviting unnecessary chaos into my life..I feel bad about my dishonest intentions... but here I am writing about it in order to feel better about moving ahead with my curiosity...

    But whatever honestly... His intentions could be identical.. and so why am I nailing myself to the cross... he is not an innocent party..


    I get fearful sometimes. I get fearful of continuing on any one given track of life... it’s like the deeper and farther you go in life on a path, there’s like this personal, unnamed dread that grows like weeds .. and threatens to ignite and Burn like wildfire... burn.

    I’m afraid. Afraid of people in power. Afraid of people in control. Afraid of spies and enemies and rats crawling amidst the woodwork and eyes glowing amongst the weeds.

    And so abandoning ships are a safe bet. Because the farther you travel away from the islands and illusions of safety and comfort, the larger the waves become..

    And so here I am.. let the waves f****ing topple my boat. Let them f****ing capsize me... I’ll swim or I’ll die. My mantra...let it destroy ... destruct .... bend and break me.

    For when the storm settles... the sun rises again.. and the clouds part.. and lift begins anew... freedom.

    The circle of life.

    Christine_L, Phosphene and caroline like this.
  13. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 36: Calling J Home

    My shits broken. I'm comfortable. . It's an insidious cheap feel, fleeting...nonsustaining...and it feels good and shitty.

    It's hard finding meaning in a life not lived.

    When you can't think of anything you are afraid of doing to do that very thing. When you lose perspective on squandering of your time.

    It's the work I'm being bogged down in. It truly robs your soul and your daylight when you work too much and do not fight for your life. It becomes a rusted groove you just slide into, ripping off your skin as you rub against its corroded edges. And in that pocket of space, you feel trapped.. and slow... and lethargic...and machine like. And deep down inside it feels horrible.

    I'm weak.

    And I'm numb.

    And I'm low voltage.

    When I"m ON, I need to slow down and feel. .. and so when I'm OFF...I need to get my shit going again and avoid inaction.

    Lick my wounds and attack next work week, and life.

    This too shall pass. I plan on it.

    OliverGruener2 and Phosphene like this.
  14. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 37: Groovy

    Met sunrise this morning. Had some iv vitamin therapy last night and feel good today. Setup a date and seeding for other potentials! Something miraculous seems to have happened... I think I finally learned how to tune in to the female frequency.. and it feels really good to do that now. And I want to do more of it!

    Continually building my escape plan. Yesterday I sat in the dark brain storming and contemplating my future.. and how I am going to fulfill my dreams. It was productive..

    Anne V and OliverGruener2 like this.
  15. Anne V

    Anne V Silver

    contemplating my future and so unshure
  16. Anne V

    Anne V Silver

    not good
  17. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Sending hugs Anne xoxo
    Anne V likes this.
  18. MITpowered26

    MITpowered26 New Member

    Day 37: part ii

    I’m in my fourth year as a singer. When I first started learning my vocal instrument, I would be all over the place in my song selection- I couldn’t decide on a song to sing in any given moment. I needed to be inspired, I needed to feel, I needed needed needed before I could do my best and give my all to the moment that singing demands of you.

    I’ve changed.. I think I’ve matured. As the years go by, I have started to realize singing has not so much to do with being inspired by a song, but stepping up to the plate and Doing what the song demands... doing the work that is required of you.. irregardless of your expectations of how the experience should be.

    In this vein, it doesn’t matter what song I will sing tonight for my workshop. What matters is that I seize the moment, that I feel the curves, and that I enjoy myself.

    Singing is a parallel to life as a whole. We can wait for the perfect moments in life in order to rise.. or we can rise to the occasion of the moment that it demands of us.

    And so I approach today’s workshop a bit wiser.. a bit fuller.. and a bit more peaceful.

    Happy weekend to you all.

    recoen, Christine_L and LieselK like this.
  19. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Me to.......but I am sure of what I am doing now.
    Mayuri and Anne V like this.
  20. LieselK

    LieselK Titanium Member

    There is such peace in knowing for me. And somehow even in that place of peace there are deep and wild roller coasters of emotions. I'm exhausted. But still sure. And it's happening. Just like I said it would. There's still uncertainty but it's not scary, it's exhilarating.

    @Anne V I know you will find your peace and know for sure. It definitely takes a lot of wrestling to arrive, but it's worth it. What is the next step? The next choice? We often get too far ahead of ourselves and that is weighty.

    Keep it up @MITpowered26 :) Step up to the plate- keep showing up for you.

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