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Campfire stories - Enkidu's Journal

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Enkidu, Apr 1, 2012.

  1. Enkidu

    Enkidu New Member

    "Midway upon the journey of our life

    I found myself within a forest dark,

    For the straightforward pathway had been lost." - Dante Alighieri

    I'd say I've been lost a bit longer than Dante. And at 30 everyone tells me I'm not midway through life, but with my current state of health, I believe I may be or even more-so, but hey lets not dwell on the angst. You came here for stories yes?

    "Shall we begin like 'David Copperfield' I am born... I grew up. Or shall we begin when I was born to darkness."

    Oh right, yeah we were going to try to avoid angst... guess channeling Anne Rice's Louis de Pointe du Lac probably isn't the best way to begin.

    Ok, so I was bit by a radioactive cave-man.... yeah, I don't believe me either.

    I've been stalked, as we all have, by the great beast mortality. But my slow speed, particular waddle, and size make me an appealing target. I had pretty much resigned myself to an early grave. It's then that Mark Sisson threw me a spear! Then urged me to follow some fellow named Grok. Now,to understand exactly how useful this was to me, know this, I have never been a hunter. I spend all my time in libraries. On occasion I'll fancy myself a bard and write a bit of poetry or perform a bit of magic, but that's about the limit of my creative and physical exertion. Sure I have very dear friends that wander around the forest protecting the world from evil, but one can't borrow skill as one borrows a cup of coconut flour. Anyway! So there I was with a spear and the undefeatable beast. And I had no idea what I was doing...so I ran, or rather waddled quickly to Grok. I figured Mark meant me to learn from him how to use the spear against the beast. But, that's not what Grok had in mind. Instead, he showed me how to hunt and gather my food. I started to eat as he did. I felt better and grew more proficient. I spent a bit less time in my library, and started to learn to enjoy being outside (yes I lost a bit of weight too, but I still waddled.) The beast lagged behind just a little, giving me a bit more space. I discovered Robb Wolf and Matt Lalonde, they reinforced what I had been doing. Sean Croxton offered support and encouragement. And then I also came across Dr. Kruse's writings; so now I make my way to a land of ice and snow, to the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.

    Oh... you wanted numbers and stuff... umm ok.

    SW: 480

    CW: 440

    Went primal January 19th.

    Started CT ~3 weeks ago with cold showers, (my tap comes out ~60 right now) I've taken one bath with ice so far. It was 30 minutes, but I could only get the temperature down to the upper 50s. As for Leptin Rx, I'm not exactly doing it. I eat a BAB within 30 minutes of waking and eat dinner 4-6 hours before bed, but my shift is noon to nine pm, so I get up at 9am instead of around dawn. When I get home at night I do institute an electronics and artificial light curfew at 11pm. Shortly after that I'm in bed.

  2. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    love it dude and welcome to the road to optimal.
  3. Enkidu

    Enkidu New Member

    This is a story of temptation, and of cultural norms overcoming momentum. To understand exactly what happened, we must speak of Thalia. Thalia is a sweet goddess, one whose attention is usually welcome, she is the goddess whose domain includes Banquets. She and I have a long friendship, often I invoke her when I host seasonal poetry gatherings. Anyway, that's a bit of a digression. Recently though, she's gotten a bit annoyed that I don't engage in her style of celebration. She'll try to tempt me by taking possession of a co-worker and offering homemade baked goods, or she'll arrange for my work to cater lunch or breakfast, but I'm mostly good at resisting her charms. But yesterday, yesterday she got the best of me. It started with a call to watch the roads quiet early... (my day job is in the service to Hermes and Asclepius. I keep Hermes' road clear of obstructions and bandits so Asclepius can use it to perform his duties,) Anyway, one of my co-workers had requested the day off so she could spend the holiday with her family, and I stepped in to cover her shift. So, I would need to wake up four hours earlier than usual. This wasn't aided by a party I attend Saturday. So, I ended up with two hours sleep. This had a bit of an impact on my judgement. The shift was also 12 hours, when I'm usually work 8, this also worked to weaken my resolve. So, when Thalia took possession of my wife and encouraged me to feast in celebration of the holiday, I eagerly accepted. We went to a restaurant and I eagerly ate mounds of poison (breaded-fried fish, shrimp, claims, french fries, and brownie topped with ice cream, whip cream, and syrup) I feasted gloriously. Today, I am bloated, stricken with gas and cramps, cranky, and not at all pleasant to be around. So I beg Thalia, if you are to present me with a feast, please make it filled with meat that has not been coated in flour and deep fried in vegetable oil. And further, I make offerings to Ganesha to clear away Satan's most devious of tools, the french fry, from my path.
  4. Lyndra

    Lyndra Gold

    Serving the goddess should be noble, no? As you say, let us hope next time she'll tempt you with a feast you can truly enjoy without regret. In the mean time, regroup and keep moving forward one step at a time.
  5. Enkidu

    Enkidu New Member

    Thanks for the advice; that's exactly my plan of action. Accept where I am and move forward, regain the ground I've lost and keep going.

    But I respectfully disagree about serving of goddess and gods as being noble. They've their own agendas, and putting them on a pedestal gives them a bit of a power trip. They're really a fickle lot, and one's place in their plans may not be to one's benefit. After all, we can't all be chosen heros, and even those of us who are should be considered unlucky.

    The enemies of a hero's patron become the hero's enemies. How difficult a life did Hercules have because of Hera? Odysseus was frequently challenged by Poseidon. And then there's Aenus who was victim so many schemes by Juno. No, heroing is not something in which I wish to engage.

    If I am to work with the gods, I'll follow the example of Moses who argued with Jehovah and won. Or Jacob who wrestled with an Angel. I'll not be meek and submit as Job did, That's what got me into the mess in the first place.

    But, if I am to make offerings, or gain the favor of a goddess. Let it be Athena under the name Liberty, or perhaps Hecate who could lead me to secrets and rebirth, or maybe my CT will win me a bit of favor with The Moirae who will add back a bit of string to my telomeres. I'm not so shallow as to devote myself to a goddess of parties and feasting. :)

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