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becoming me again

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by kovita, Feb 20, 2014.

  1. kovita

    kovita Gold

    for the female hormons it day 13 of 30-32 days long cycles. sontheoretically folicular phase.

    Attached Files:

  2. kovita

    kovita Gold

    so after reading Melanie blog and getting my question replied by Jack, i know my brain gut axis is broken. I am not here for a long time and have a lot to learn, it is great to meet here people with such a profound knowledge, it is a big help for begimners like me. I set on reading the long brain gut axis serie. It will take me some time, i guess. I made my first big labs so have nothing to compare to, but there is a lot of work fr me to get my body to optimal state. As any beginner I hope and wish for quick results (who doesn't) but the more i read the more i understand this trip will be epic and long. I am not sure where to start and i hope what i am doing is the right thing. I embraced epi-paleo for life, I would love to do the same with CT but my internal guests (lyme) are putting me in doubt. Lyme loves cold. Will the benefits beat the the possibility I am feeding my lyme? I would definitely welcome some thoughts here. My vit.D levels are puzzling me. It is declining despite of supplementation. How much vit.D should i really take to get beck on track? Methylation is off, MCV jumped up big time. That explains why i stopped being sensitive to methyl groups (being COMT double homozygous in the wrong direction). B12 is not getting into the cells. Jack recomended to go camping underground. That reminded me of the book Parfume. If you red it, you remeber Jean-Baptiste Grenouille spend some years hiding from the world in the cave on the top of a mountain in forgotten mountains in central France. He had no cloth, no source of food, avoided daylight, lived on lichens, lizards, insects and water. He found all he needed there and emerged as a new man, strong and wiht bright determined mind. He was ready to finish the mission of his life. Can I make this in 2014 having a family? The prize is too good to forget about it. The caves are plentifull in the part of Europe I reside...

    well, I defintely became crazy and desperate enough to make this real!
    caroline, Josh and Albert83BCN like this.
  3. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Did you watch the last few webinars? especially with Jeremy? Dr. K. says several times .... A bad redox isn't a death sentence ..... you have to find alternate ways like Jeremy has done .....

    All the blogs must be tough for you to get thru? They sure are for me........
  4. kovita

    kovita Gold

    caroline, I did not because i am not a member yet. I have no income on my own now. Mom at home dependent on husband. Things are not so good at home lately. Silent home. I broke done emotionally after my labs results and did some pretty stupid things. So it is fully my responsability. I feel very lonely. I thing I just hit the real bottom. Jack is often talking about how to set our mind on track and start to control our lifes fully is the very base of success. He cannot be more right. i wish this would be so easy for me as eating fat. I did really amazing progress in this area during the last few months and I managed to break this done in one weekend. I am pretty sure that unless I fix this I will not move on. To loose the trust of other people is very easy to regain it very tough. i was always the worrier, not warrior. Letting go is not my virtue. It is a big mountain on my way. I have to find a formula. Have you seen the movie Yes Man? It is a stupid comedy but the main idea is very intriguing. The guy simple started to say yes to every question that turns out in his life. It ended up being the most surprising thing, suddenly all the doors started to open for him, because he effectively lost the power to decide about the direction he goes and the decision have been made for him by consequences of his acceptance of every question and offer that life and people with whom whe interacts place in front if him. I was thinking how often i just simply agree or say yes and realized most of my response start by "no or but". I think this may be my first opportunity. It is simple and it could prevent many stupid things and actions by simple getting time to think twice my "no or but".
  5. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Sounds so tough - but you will find a way to work thru it ...with all our help and support....

    Dr. Kruse has told us some of what he went thru to become the man and doctor that he wanted to be and deserved to be. He has said that a lot of things in his life suffered until he got stuff sorted.

    But look at where he is now ...and I can't even imagine where he is going........

    Dr. K. said that he is now positive that the reason for his move to the Gulf ......was to find and connect with Jeremy.

    so inspiring .....quantum entanglement and quantum magic.......
    rlee314, dan.orloski22 and kovita like this.
  6. JanSz

    JanSz Gold


    Describe top line where DHEA is high, what was measured there, why the next line shows DHEA low
    I think that indicates average 12h DHEA is low.
    If so, need supplementation.


    pregnenolone is very low-------->


    Cortisol pattern about ok, generally lowish





    female hormons it day 13 of 30-32 days long cycles------->> desirable prog=1.5ng/dL, E2=(150-200)pg/mL

    E2=126.2pg/mL--------------------------> lowish but not priority
    progesterone=0.73ng/mL---------------->>very low
    DHEAs=276ug/dL -------------------->>desirable Women 275-400 μg/dL ------->>>consider some supplementation

    add to that from above:
    pregnenolone is very low
    pregnenolone Micronized Lipid Matrix from Nutricology, 150mg tabs (take 1-2 tabs at first, I was taking 6 of this tabs for almost a year)
    when taking use blood tests to monitor and adjust dose

    do blood draws on 2-4 days of cycle and also on day when you expect max progesterone level per this chart:

    After drawing blood on day 19-21 or what you estimate to be day of max progesterone, count days between blood draw and start of next cycle, that may help you in further approximation of your place on the chart.



    Vit D=26.2

    7/day Biotic Research Bio-D-Mulsion Forte, 1drop=2000iu Vit D
    3/day CarlsonVitamin K2 Menatetrenone 5 mg
    1/day--> Vitamin A (retinol) from fish oil (do not eat fish or krill oils)
    2/day-->Super Selenium Complex, 200 mcg 100 capsules (lef.org)

    1 dropperfull/day=48mg/day
    Lugol's Iodine Family Pack -- 6 (2 fl. oz.) bottles
    recalculate dose if using other iodine/iodide source.

    Last edited: Apr 15, 2014
  7. kovita

    kovita Gold

    thanks, JanSZ. My main concern is the th1 shift and bad renal markers. Just sent blood for cystatin c today and Impary a lot.
  8. kovita

    kovita Gold

    so my journal continues. I went through the biggest existentional crisis of my whole life during the last few days. I shed a lot of tears, had a lot of fear, anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. I know you will judge me and you should, that is why I entered this forum, I needed some feedback, help, support. My kidneys do not look like supporting me well anymore. This is even more striking for me remembering the sad fate of my brother. I really do not know what to do anymore. I lost all apetite and started to fear any food for my kidneys may not like it. I am not sure about how good is really epipalep for me anymore. I had good kidney labs when I started this in December and now no anymore. my sleep deteriorated so much I cannot believe it, I slept like a baby always. I have a feeling I really sleep only between 9pm and 1 am and starting 4:30am I do not slepp at all. I concentrate even. ore now on meditation. I do not follow any sort of techniques, I just calm, activate my body, scan it and concenrate on visualization of healing processes where I "sense" I need it most. I really do not know where to start, I stopped CT because I started to dislike cold so much. It feels like all the work I did during the last few months was not optimal for me. Maybe I am wrong and that is why I am writing my journal, I want to hear from all of you! My labs are in my journal, so anyone can take a look. I (and people around me) had the feeling I look better on the outer side, I was doing well emotionally as well, but than the labs do not show I am doing so well, in fact, they show I am dping dangerously bad. I am reading the blogs like crazy and coming across many RXs I need all of them, I guess, but just where to start? I am finding lots ofc ontradiction as well. I have been almost carbs free for the winter and my sleep sucks so much more now, Jack said ketosis depletes serotonin, I have no serotonin and melatonin, is really ketosis beneficial for me? 5htp is not recomended for me, but my doctor insists on it, but than again from my understanding I am most likely not converting it to Serotonin, than what should I do? To me ot starting to look like that the more i care and more I do, the worse are the results. Obviously I do not know where. i would be if I did not do nothing at all. I struggle to find the responses in all possible levels and saidly do not trust anything anymore. Where do I start?
  9. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Hi Kovita ..... I am sending you a huge, huge hug xoxo

    I certainly don't begin to understand all the labs ..... but I do know that you need to trust your intuition - the Doctor in your head. dr. kruse would be the first one to tell you that.

    On the webinar with Jeremy .... he said he tried epi paleo and he almost Krused himself into the hospital! It does not work for him - he needs carbs. That seemed to surprise Dr. K. a little but he did have an explanation - I will listen again and let you know.

    Please tell us what you were eating before? obviously this doesn't seem to be working for you - for whatever reason.

    You say you had good Kidney labs before? and you slept well too?

    Please remember - this is not a one size fits all .......your biology is different from mine and Dr. K's and everyone else!

    Absolutely no one judges anyone here .... least of all Dr. Kruse ....we are all on a journey to optimal health and it is very different for all of us.

    Please tell me what your life was like on the other side of this .....What did you eat and then how did you feel?

    What brought you here? How can we help? You are definitely not alone.

    You are a gorgeous and intelligent woman ...... we need to sort this out - for you and your beautiful family. xo

    Did I ever tell you that my Dad was born outside Vienna? we are practically family!
  10. Sammy

    Sammy New Member

    Kovita dear, I think you are too stressed. You NEED to stress less. I am not gonna lie this is easier said than done. I too find myself too stressed sometimes, and it truly is so hard NOT TO STRESS, for me anyways. No matter what perfect diet you follow, or whether you live on an island untouched by man, your external surroundings could be perfect but If you continue to stress ....it will get to you. cortisol....is a real killer.
  11. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Kovita (((((hugs)))))
    i would say too, take your sweet little boy by your hand and walk out into the nature. Spend as much time there as you can - barefoot - it will save you now, it saves me in my darkest moments! I am like Peter - maybe we all are? Just go back to the basics, if your labs stresses you, just push them out from your head, and do what Mother Nature shows you. How can it be wrong? Eat wild foods, what you can get where you live, lots of seafood.. wild herbs.. dip in the river.. I cling to these things and I know they will not fail me. Do not let anything confuse you! Jack has said, the path to optimal is not linear! Healing will sometimes make us feel bad too... or our labs could look worse...
    maybe you can go camping? Eat raw.. it helps me with anxiety too - make it simple... quit all supps if you are unsure, I did.
    I always think, what is natural? That makes me feel good. When I stray from it... it might even be stuff like coffee or wine.. or cooked foods.. too much EMFs.. I feel not so good
    I wish I were close...

  12. kovita

    kovita Gold

  13. Inger

    Inger Silver

    please Kovita... take a break from the reading, I assure you healing is way easier than you can imagine...
    Drink lots of well water
    Be out in the wild nature, barefoot
    Eat natural foods, in season, better raw (to me raw is important to feel my best)
    Let the sunshine in :)
    Love! :) if you really get despair.. what have helped me is to watch, how can I help others.. what good can I do for my family... how can I make it better for them.. This takes the focus from my own suffering and magically it heals me too :)
    go and kiss and hug your hubby.. get some oxy!
    throw those darn labs away :mad:

    rlee314, dan.orloski22 and kovita like this.
  14. kovita

    kovita Gold

  15. Inger

    Inger Silver

    yeah.. stress is something of the worst things for us women, I am sure of that :rolleyes:
  16. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Kovita ...... I wouldn't say that we all eat a "helluva lot of protein" at all ..... That is a BAB for 4-6 weeks to reset Leptin.

    I eat a higher fat, medium protein, and low carb - but I am rethinking that.

    It sounds to me like you were on the right track before - for you ........

    I totally understand .... some days who knows what the heck the Dr. in our head is saying!

    You are stressing way too much ....please go back to where you felt so much better .... and then we will work on this together.

    As I told you - Jeremy almost put himself in the hospital trying this .... he said it almost killed him ...lol

    now - for sure - Jeremy has different issues ...... but so do all of us...

    I will listen again to the Q&A with Jeremy tomorrow morning and get back to you.

    Have a good nite's sleep ..... hug your partner and children......
  17. Albert83BCN

    Albert83BCN New Member

    How could we judge someone that's trying her best? No way!

    I'm, sorry to hear that Kovita, I've had a look at your labs but I'm not knowledgeable enough... and the things you have been through, I do not know them so I cannot understand....I'll throw some thoughts that might not be quite spot on but, whataver, one never knows where inspiration might come from. Isn't your leptin level a little bit low? According to lab ranges. Low leptin + low carb + feeling bad + depleted neurotransmitters... to me it tells me you're not rocking your ketogenic experiment... In my N=1, when I go VLC my dopamine is quite high (I have never tested but I can tell from my mind focus and willing to take things over), energy is good, I can exercise quite well, but I think my serotonin/melatonin becomes very low also, I notice I start being way too cold towards people, so much rational that I start only to think for myself and forget about others. My sleep also gets a little bit hurt, although It gets my productivity quite high... It's quite cool for focusing on my own things but I started to consider that It was hurting my relationships. I did an N=1 to up my carbs, mainly from seasonal sources, some fruit here and there, some potato, leafy greens, beets, garlics, onions... and I think my world rocks in this template. It's kind of a normocaloric 33% split fat/carbs/protein in weight from the best kind of foods from every section that I think I can get, and I feel the most balanced in such template But I've put on some weight also... got up to 15%BF, BUT counter-intuitively... I think I feel better this way at least from the mood perspective. I think it might be because as an a former obese boy I've pretty high adipocite count and I might have a slightly leptin sensitivity offset that does not allow me to stay in 'spring mode mind state' if I get under 12%BF... makes sense to me, no one likes restriction a lot in the end. Well this is all to say that if you find a protocol that works better for you no matter what others might say... I'd go for it, just keeping in mind that it might have something to do with the fact I've special needs and that I might be able to overcome them so I can get to another template in the futre. Jack once said the diet is not a static thing but one that fluctuates. I'm quite sure I'll be able to be more flexible with less impact as time goes by because I know better every day... but since then, It's always useful for me to have a template that brings me back to stable even if it might seem controversial at first sight from others.

    Regarding the Th1 shift... I'm not expert here but I've read some things in the past when I thought it could be a deal for me... I guess you considered having a list of foods/supps and try to isolate possible triggers for that? Once upon a time when I was a vegetarian on a grain rich diet I had lots of arthritic like issues, felt quite bad and could not handle stress at all. Now I don't handle stress quite well also but its pretty different, it's more like 'shit!' and feeling rage than collapsing and feeling overwhelmed and with intestinal distress and a feeling of depression like in the past. Considering that it seems that you shift states quite often from what I can see in your posts... I'd suspect that there's some trigger over there for you that you might even not suspect... maybe even one from the paleo template!

    BTW, I agree with Sammy, I know it's difficult but if you came to the point to start crying it's clear that this situation is killing you and in this state it will be very difficult for you to get out of it. Keep up the positive mind, I'm sure that you'll get through it!! If you loose your cool it will never help but make things worse. Well, I'm pretty sure you already know that and just wanted to release some tension ;)

    Here I lend you some electrons from mine :)

    Last edited: Apr 17, 2014
    SeaHorse, Jude, kovita and 1 other person like this.
  18. Jude

    Jude Gold

    Kovita, lots of folk helping here! Great advice.
    Vit D = 26.2:(
    My tiny take is that your Vit D is very,very low . Had a friend whose D was 25 and their Dr wanted to hospitalise them..not sure what they intended to do though.
    JK recommends an additive supplement to be taken with D3 that acts synergistically to raise the D way more quickly.
    I took 20,000 units D3 with 45mgms VitK2 for 5mths which resulted in a 300plus D level! A bit high for sure, ceased supplementation and it came down over next 6 mths to 120........but......I felt fantastic for first time in a long time!

    It would be better to supplement for 3 mths and retest, and then reset dosage depending on how well you responded.:)
  19. SeaHorse

    SeaHorse Gold

    Kovita…take heart, all is not lost. I love Albert's image of his electron donation, so sweet! More than anything this is what you need….the food can feel like it's the tipping point, but really it's your environment….so as spring develops you can count on feeling better and working on all these little details as your spirit rises.
    I truly know the despairing place you write from…just remember it is just a moment in time and all can change, you will not be staying in that dark place with all the great resources, intelligence and love that you have at your disposal. I echo Jude's comments about vit D….any chance of HBOT in Austria?
  20. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    plug in to nature........limit all tech access.
    rlee314 and CTforlife like this.

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