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a new Sandy

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by sandy, Mar 15, 2012.

  1. sandy

    sandy New Member

    I am not good at journalling. I tend to be gung ho on a plan and post and then fall off plan and quit journalling.

    It will be different this time!

    I am not a 2nd attempt at LR/CT. This is my 2nd day

    yesterday I had my BAB, went for a walk, then did a 30 min cold bath.

    I'd like to lose about 80#

    I have been trying to low carb for years. Lose a bit, then fall off the wagon into a bowl of sugar. I have a horrible sweet tooth. My best success was in 2009 when I went zero carb. Lost about 25#, but again fell off the wagon. The only positive I can say from all my failures is that I learn a little something new each time.

    In addition to losing weight, I am hoping the reset will help with the issues I have surrounding lack of motivation, laziness, low energy. Carb cravings

    I was laid off in 2003, and never went back to work. At 1st it was because of the kids, but now they are in high school and don't need me for much. Even with that, my life is high stress, mainly due to the antics and attitudes of my 2 high school boys. Relationship with husband sucks. We kind of just put up with each other- barely. I don't have much of a social life either. I've dealt with depression for years. In 2010, I felt like I was losing my mind, so I went to the doc and he put me on lexapro. It made me less depressed but also made me sleep 12 hrs a day. I got off of that and switched to magnesium, and that has been a miracle for me. I still have some depression, but deal with it much better than I was.

    I have not had any blood work done. I hate to spend all that money. I may have it done at some point, but right now I would like to try the baths to see if I get any improvement.

    I take D, reversterol, B, glutamine, krill, K vitamins

    I am a diet soda junkie, and at some point I know I need to drop it, but right now the diet and baths are enough for me - I don't want to overwhelm myself.

    I eat VLC- mainly meat and a bit of veggies.

    hope you can all support me to the finish line!
  2. Birdy

    Birdy New Member

    go Sandy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. sandy

    sandy New Member

    well, day 2

    got up and had some leftover tai chicken and cabbage

    spent too much time on the computer

    went for a 30 min walk. it was a little chilly with short sleeves. Lots of pain in my achilles heel for the 1st 5 min, almost no pain after 15 min

    wasted more time on the computer

    took a cold bath. 30 minutes. got my feet in a bit - hoping this will help my heel

    lunch was a protein shake(whey/eggs/co cream)

    dinner was......having brain fart- oh yeah. liversausage on coconut flour pancakes

    I did get some cleaning done, but not enough!
  4. sandy

    sandy New Member

    day 3

    had a bit of trouble falling asleep

    woke up at 4 to pee

    woke up again at 8. bit of a sinus headache. bit hungry. very nauseated

    couldn't figure out what to eat because of the nausea. Had a bit of coconut manna

    may go lay down for awhile and see if I feel better
  5. Hotmail

    Hotmail New Member

    Hey there, good luck with your journey, thanks for mentioning the nausea, I woke up with a small hint of nausea as well, and was wondering about it :)
  6. Phoenix

    Phoenix New Member

    Good luck, Sandy! We can do this together! :)
  7. sandy

    sandy New Member

    well, the nausea left yesterday, but I just feel blah. Just want to lay in bed. I read about 4 books that I had earmarked for my cold baths!

    food has been ok. Been snacking a bit but at least its low carb. No walks or baths yesterday or today. Hope I feel better tomorrow!

    Have my corned beef in the crock pot- YUM
  8. sandy

    sandy New Member

    spent most of the weekend feeling not so great

    blew the diet yesterday

    having a great day today tho

    ate leftover corned beef for bab- was not hungry for like 7 hrs

    got hub to take a walk. my heel hurt much less walking later in the day- I must have stretched it out walking during the day

    then i did a 30 min cold tub

    got a bit hungry- had some coconut manna

    still peckish but trying to ignore it

    hopefully will get a good nights sleep tonight
  9. sandy

    sandy New Member

    yesterday- had the last of my corned beef for breakfast. I'm gonna miss it

    got some organizing done while I watched Made of Honor(just ok), and then Tuesdays are reruns of Criminal Minds on Ion. My fave show and I never watched the original, so most of them are new to me

    3 italians with gr pepper/onion and tom sauce around 3

    went for a walk

    got hungry too late, but wanted to take a cold bath, so I had an apple with peanut butter

    took my bath

    had trouble falling asleep- probably not til 1 am

    then I woke at 6. I do not like it when I don't get enough sleep

    if I did not have to pee, I could probably sleep longer- hopefully that will go away

    had 2 italians for breakfast. probably should have had more, but being tired makes me lazy
  10. sandy

    sandy New Member

    yesterday- 2 italians for BF. really should have had more because I was snacky all day

    chick breast tai style for lunch. again not enough

    2 sausages for supper. also snacked on a fage with rasberries, 3 apples. I ate supper way too late

    still having trouble sleeping. really annoying. waking up stuffed up

    did not walk or take bath yesterday, but i did some spot ct

    not a great day for me emotionally today. its my beautiful baby boy's 15th bday today. he has gone from my buddy and a sweetheart of a kid to someone who can't stand me. It hurts so much but I just try to stuff it down. The worst part is he blames me for it all. I am not mother of the year but never thought i was that bad. I am tempted to go sit and look thru his baby pictures but I know it will only turn me into a bawling mess
  11. Kathy

    Kathy New Member

    Hugs, to you, I know it's not an easy place to be. In hindsight, I think it's all part of the plan... if they didn't turn into monsters for a few years, we simply wouldn't survive the separation when they leave home.
  12. sandy

    sandy New Member

    Kathy, thank you so much for your kind words. :) I was going to post this in your journal so you would see it, but did not see your journal
  13. janagram

    janagram New Member

    Sandy, A lot of us are mom's and we know how it is.....now how are you doing today? Come back to your journal!
  14. sandy

    sandy New Member

    well, back at it again today

    had some corned beef for breakfast. got my HCl in so took 2 tabs. it did not help with my bathroom issues

    been really down in the dumps lately. need to do this reset to get myself out of it! Things are terrible in my house and there is not much I can do about it

    weight with shoes today was 227
  15. sandy

    sandy New Member

    yesterday, ate corned beef for breakfast around 10. This lasted me until about 330, when I had another small piece of CB. Then, I finished it off at around 8. Total was about 1.9# of corned beef, but alot of that was fat which I did not eat

    wt today 225 no shoes, so about the same

    spent yesterday watching hockey so no walk or bath for me

    got up around 8 today and had corned beef. took 3 HCl and had lots of loose stools

    trying to clean
  16. sandy

    sandy New Member

    yesterday was a good day, ate about 2# corned beef during the day. breakfast, lunch, and then dinner(but later than I should have- got hungry) The Betaine seemed to help when I went up to 4 pills. will keep working on this

    got some cleaning done which always makes me happy because I hate cleaning

    talked to my sis and daughter about going to Florida for a visit next month. was on the phone too long so no bath for me

    scale is around 223# no shoes

    slept like crap last night- only about 5 hours

    no meat so I had a protein shake for breakfast- woke up hungry
  17. sandy

    sandy New Member

    not a good day yesterday. did not have any meat ready for breakfast so I had a shake. that did not fill me up. had an early lunch of a small steak, still not satisfied. Had pork roast. still hungry. made son a pizza and ate 1/4 of it. from then it was all downhill. icecream and chips. had a headache almost all day(even before the junk food)

    woke up really early today. HAD to finish the ice cream. idiot. still no walking or baths

    today is going to be a bad day. found the sons pot again and took it. last time i did that he went mental and broke a bunch of stuff. ran away in the middle of the night when it was 20 degrees out. I had to call the cops and it was just shitty : (

    too bad for me his back hurts and he stayed home from school today. I am sick to my stomach thinking about what is in store for me when he wakes up and sees it is gone. I toyed with the idea of giving him a sleeping pill when i gave him some advil, bad mama

    i have always loved being a mom. I always wanted to be an amazing mom but have fell short in so many ways. these teenage years are killing me tho, and if I knew then what I know now.....I don't know if I could do it again. Days like this I wonder if I will mentally survive the next few years until they are gone and I don't have to worry anymore. add to that the fact that my husband is a major ahole and I am a hermit and my life pretty much sucks. Makes it hard to be motivated to be optimal when I hate myself and my life.

    I have meat ready for later or tomorrow. whenever I get my ass back in line.

    right now, I am just scared. high cortisol levels anyone?
  18. .lina

    .lina New Member

    wow, that's a lot on your plate at once, Sandy [​IMG] i hope things work out well. keep posting!
  19. DarleenMB

    DarleenMB Silver

    Sandy, sorry for the problems. But persevere! You ARE a good mom. Just keep telling yourself that.

    As to falling off the wagon ... it was the wheat. If you haven't read "Wheat Belly" it should be on your list (sorry for "shoulding" on you). Wheat is LITERALLY as addictive as heroin. If you stay away from it you'll be fine.

    We're all here rootin' for you! New day, new direction. You can do it!
  20. DarleenMB

    DarleenMB Silver

    Sandy, I just saw you are eating a LOT of corned beef. Most of that stuff is loaded with MSG which could explain a lot. Try to stick to unprocessed meats as much as possible.

    My breakfast is usually about 5-6 oz of good ground chuck and a couple of eggs and 2 pieces of uncured, nitrate free, bacon. That will carry me through most of the day.

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