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4 things to ponder when a relationship might be over

Discussion in 'Female Quantum Biology' started by Jack Kruse, Jan 31, 2021.

  1. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    Given the question I was asked on the Q and A tonight I thought about it some more and I decided to jot this down.

    Here are four signs that your relationship has run its course and it’s better to let go.


    I’m here to tell you from personal experience that holding on to the wrong person will only result in resentment and a lot of wasted time and effort.

    When reflecting on the failed relationships in my past, I always knew at a certain point that they had run their course. Even with this knowledge, there were numerous times when I held on for a lot longer than I should have instead of accepting that it was better for both of us to move on.

    1. You no longer feel the need or desire to be intimate
    Years ago I lived with a girlfriend and during the last few months of our relationship, we were never intimate with each other.

    We slept in the same bed and still spent time together but I could tell that the spark between us had faded into a tiny flicker.

    Then we arrived at the one moment when I knew it was really over. We went on a vacation and I remember thinking that perhaps it could reignite our dying flame. By the end of our full week together, we hadn’t been intimate one time, and neither of us had tried initiating anything. While lying awake in bed next to my friend, something in me just knew… our relationship was beyond saving.

    The physical element of a relationship is certainly something that will ebb and flow but if you don’t feel any desire towards your partner for an extended period of time it is a huge red flag.

    2. You don’t fight anymore
    When I was in college I was head over heels over a lady I was dating

    At the beginning of our relationship, she and I had several arguments which we resolved because we had open communication and made an effort to work through our differences.

    However, a few months later there was a shift and I began feeling she was getting more and more distant. She began going out to the bars and not responding to my messages or even letting me know her plans. Even though it was causing me to feel horrendous anxiety I didn’t say anything because I was scared that if I started a fight… she would leave me.

    A couple of weeks later she left me anyway and I realized that remaining silent about my feelings had done nothing to save our relationship, if anything it allowed her to pull away even sooner.

    Fighting is a sign of life in a relationship. Fighting takes effort and a level of being comfortable enough to express your feelings to your partner. When your relationship is nearing the end you either won’t care enough to fight, or you won’t want to bring up your feelings at all. It is a bad place to be.

    3. Being with someone else becomes more prevalent in your mind
    When you start entertaining the idea of someone else, it usually is a huge indication your relationship is about to end.

    4. Your partner gives you an ultimatum
    This is a death sentence. I know that in the past when I’ve seen or encountered a relationship ultimatum, it was the beginning of the end.
     
  2. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Thank you for sharing your personal insight about this. These are all great points in my wiev.
     
  3. Brent Patrick

    Brent Patrick Silver

    Number 3 is massive.
     
  4. Jack Kruse

    Jack Kruse Administrator

    I shared it because I was asked about it on the January 2021 Q and A.
     
    Inger and John Schumacher like this.
  5. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    My Dear Wife picked me.
    Initially, I was not interested in a relationship with her or anybody else. Actually, I was not interested in any relationship at that time. It was when I realized that I could not make a decent living in Communist Poland with my good education and excellent job. Those around me who were successful had people's skills that I do not have.
    Eventually, I ended up immigrating to the USA.
    I had a good life with my DW; I had never doubted her supporting me to her maximum, if not more.
    I have almost lost my Dear Wife by fighting with her too much.
    I think she was getting too tired of fights.
    She told me that if I do not like her anymore, she will let me go.
    That was sometime within less than ten years of her death.
    That was a wake-up call for me; my fighting conveyed the wrong message to her.
    I started "playing" with her, saying and responding with niceties. She was responding really, very well to that.
    After about two weeks of these plays, I fessed up to her that they were just plays and made me tired.
    From then on, I would end up any possibility of flares with "Yes Honey, you are right, of course."
    That was my cost of keeping my wife.
    I think it was worth it.
    .
     
    Pablo, Inger, MITpowered26 and 2 others like this.
  6. Daulatwant

    Daulatwant Kipras

    For some it's a form of lifestyle.
     
  7. Thank you for sharing!
    It is difficult to look in the mirror while in a relationship and ask yourself why am I responding in anger...
    But when we look in the rear-view mirror of times past, we may just have a better perspective.
    I'm glad she stayed with you.
     
  8. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    I was giving her the wrong message without realizing it, and she attempted to comply with it.
    She always wanted to be with me.
    .
     
    Inger, caroline and John Schumacher like this.
  9. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    What a lovely story Jan. You have told us other beautiful stories of your gorgeous wife. I feel so honoured that you share those with us.

    My take on all this .....we learn as we grow. We grow older and hopefully grow wiser.

    Some people seem to be stuck and nothing or no-one suits them it seems to me.

    When you are vital and loving life and moving forward ....and high spirited - there are bound to be differences of opinion.
    At our house sometimes the difference of opinion can be very loud and very spirited!

    How else would you know someone cares?

    We need to be fully engaged in our life and have both oars in the water - always!

    I think that is what Jack teaches us......

    Look at us all here .........different ages and stages of our life, very different finances and capabilities and brain power but Jack has us all learning about and scrambling to buy a bit coin!

    Well done all of us for being fully engaged in our life!
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2021
  10. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    I was just listening to a financial pundit on the radio [Australia] and she didn't seem to know half of what I have learned here from Jack and all those he has pointed us to.

    When I think of it - why am I surprised? We are way, way, way ahead of the pack in so many things....
     
  11. Inger

    Inger Silver

    With my latest partner... that guy I was so much in love with... We used to fight when I was sitting in his lap!
    That was sooooo nice.
    We were fighting but we were so close. The most beautiful fight ever.

    Our love and strong physical and mental attraction never ended either.
    No wonder i have not been dating since. Almost 3 years now.
    But I have healed though, and do not feel sad about that anymore, really. Now I just feel happy alone.

    I do have a feeling(or I really wonder if) this lockdown and stress that comes with it, makes men more desperate for a woman - or sex? That is a little annoying .
     
  12. Inger

    Inger Silver

    Oh man Caroline. You are way ahead of me. I have no idea about Bitcoins. I have zero. I have no money outside my daily needs really either so maybe that is why...lol
    I will have to work on the mental side how to save myself, as the financial one is not my strenght... Thanks God I can live on almost nothing if needed.:thumbsup: I have planned, I can always work for people and they give me food :) Tons of nice people here :) So I am not worried I am going to starve to death.
     
    Sean Waters, caroline and JanSz like this.
  13. JanSz

    JanSz Gold

    Work keeps us in better physical shape.
    Last Monday/Tuesday I got over 24" of snow. That is the unusual amount in my place.
    With my large driveway, it took me a while to clear this up.
    Yesterday I decided to get a better snowblower, unfortunately, it will arrive after the next snow that is supposed to come tomorrow (Feb 7/21).
     
    caroline likes this.
  14. caroline

    caroline Moderator

    Inger - we all do what we can, what we aspire to, what our situation dictates, what our strengths are.

    We just need to be fully invested and always, always moving forward.

    Jack is teaching us how to make things happen in our daily life, in our health and wealth - if we listen and learn and the biggie - APPLY.

    We are learning how to jump without a parachute and think outside the box.

    It has been said here many times ...there is no box - only the one we put ourself in!
     
    Sean Waters and Pablo like this.

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