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21st Century Clabbergirl

Discussion in 'My Optimal Journal' started by Clabbergirl, Mar 29, 2012.

  1. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Ok, here I go.



    My goal is to lose weight (80 lbs), get control of my weight, and feel better physically and mentally (regain my health).



    Background:

    I'm a 44 y/o female, 5'8", who's struggled with weight all my life. Eating primal since Jan 2012, started the Leptin Reset in Feb 2012, and cold therapy in late Feb 2012. Diagnosed with hypothyroidism in 2002; sleep apnea in 2007 (structural issues, no REM sleep). Several sinus surgeries later and some weight loss in 2009 - stopped using the CPAP machine. Used it on/off since but not with great regularity because I continue to have REM sleep.



    History:

    Born 1 month premature in 1968 to a Type I diabetic mother who was not keeping insulin regulated during pregnancy. I weighed 10 lbs and 9 oz, was not breastfed and given cereal early on because I was 'so large and hungry all the time'. Large-framed (7.25" wrist diameter), I outweighed and towered over other kids my age until high school when teenage boys' growth spurts finally caught up with and surpassed me. First dieting attempt was age 10. My mother bought me pants for school in a ladies size 10 and hemmed them - I was mortified. Fluctuated between 160-175 through my teen years. Habitually guessed about 30-40 lbs lighter than my true weight so either my frame has hid the weight fairly well or I've been surrounded by bad/kind guessers.



    Wanted to join the USAF in 1990 - recruiter could not believe I weighed too much to get in (179 lbs). Began dieting and took over a year to lose 25 lbs. Enlisted at 153 lbs, gained 6 lbs while in basic training and was put on remedial weight program before I even got to tech school. Never looked better in my life and I was on the 'fat program'. Oh, the irony.



    First pregnancy was 1992
    - gained 75 lbs. Lost about 40 of that, along came 2nd child in 1994. Gained 50 lbs. In 1998, I moved to CA and began rigorous exercise and dieting. Produce was cheap and it was beautiful all the time. Got my weight below "the mark" (200 lbs) for the first time since joining military, but had to exercise 2+ hrs a day and eat less than 800 cal/day. Lifted heavy weights and put on muscle. Could fit into clothes I wore in the military even though I weighed 20 lbs more.



    Moved to cold, rainy climate and depression set in. Gained, lost, gained, lost. Moved back to hometown in 2001
    , and 2 months later my mother died suddenly. I gained 80 lbs within 9 months of her death. Depressed, wanted to do nothing but sleep, miserable marriage, high stress - diagnosed with hypothryoid and put on synthroid. It helped, but not enough. I lost some weight but still felt exhausted. Kept wanting to up the dosage but dr. wouldn't have it. Dr. checked adrenals, pituitary, all were "fine".



    Around 2005
    , I started gaining weight in the middle of my body for the first time ever - became more apple shaped and less pear. Became progressively more tired all the time and dr. suggested sleep apnea - yes I had it and it appeared to be structural, not weight-based. Sleep apnea diagnosis helped with weight also, but was hell on sinuses. Ear Nose Throat doctor did a few laser surgeries, and I began taking more Armour to lose weight which resulted in 20 lbs gone. Stopped using CPAP machine. Eventually found my own source of Armour and began experimenting with self-dosing in 2007
    . Also began to get IBS symptoms - researched celiac and wheat free info in 2008 or so and attempted to go wheat free on/off sporadically and supp with probiotics. IBS symptoms disappeared eventually even while eating wheat.



    Stressors came to a head in >2010 - 19-year marriage dissolved, lots of betrayal uncovered, son graduated/went to college, no child support, car accident, foreclosure, bankruptcy, and my 30 hr/week unpaid internship started (in addition to 40-hr/week job). Thought I was going to die. Would stand in the shower some mornings and just sob. Lost another 10 lbs or so without trying and this was the first time depression has ever affected me with a loss in weight. Eating a lot of fast food en route to job or internship quickly put it and then some back on though. Had a saliva test done 6/2010 - will post results in follow up entry.



    Started having hot flashes day and night - major night sweats. Would burst out into a sweat for no reason and so badly that people around me would grow alarmed like I was having a heart attack or something. It was embarrassing. Supplemented with topical progesterone but it didn't seem to do anything. Periods became heavier and heavier, couldn't leave the house some days. Got a consult, an ablation, and stopped taking the BCP immediately. Within 2 months the hot flashes were gone, night sweats abated and disappeared.



    Present:

    Working full-time at desk job that I abhor. It pays the bills but is soul-sucking. Added a part-time job to the schedule in Dec 2011, and have been averaging anywhere from 15-30 hrs/week from that. On the nights I work, I'm not home before 10:45pm. This is a source of great stress as I don't enjoy the work but I need extra $.



    Tired all the time - could sleep 12 hours and still sleep more. Haven't had thyroid level checked in over a year because my doc will go by ranges, not symptoms. Very overweight with fat concentrated everywhere - I look like a man who's got so much estrogen he's starting to look like a woman - breasts, stomach, hips, legs are all fat? Best way I know to describe it. Very little waist line left here, and even forearms and calves appear fat. Least amount of fat is on my chest and breasts. Again, oh the irony. If I've got to be fat, why can't I have big boobs, badonkadonk and the little waist.



    Until late last year, I had resigned myself to the idea of living out the rest of my days obese.
     
  2. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Here's my most recent blood hormone panel, done in March 2012:



    DHEA-s: 68.8 (range is 60.9 - 337)



    Estradiol: 144.2 (range is 12.5-166)



    Free testosterone: .2 (range is .0-2.2)



    Progesterone: .2 (range is .2 - 1.5)



    This was taken on approx. day 10 of my cycle. I had an ablation done in 2010 so I no longer have a period and can only judge based on when my teenage daughter who lives with me has a cycle. Not very reliable, I know.





    I had a saliva
    hormone panel done in June 2010:



    DHEA-S: 3 (range is 2-23)



    Estradiol:
     
  3. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Supplements as of March 2012:



    Vit C - 2000 mg

    Vit D - 15,000-20,000

    Pregnenolone 50mg

    Progesterone cream 20mg

    DHEA 25mg - added 3/29/12

    Methyl B-12 1000 - 2000 mcg

    DIM (diindolylmethane) 200-400mg

    Bitter Melon 200mg - 1-3x day

    B-complex liquid

    Selenium 200mg

    Iodine 12.5mg

    CoQ10 100mg

    Ashwaganda

    Magnesium Malate 2000mg

    Magnesium complex (citrate, oxide, and aparatame) 800mg

    Zinc 15mg

    Milk Thistle 600mg

    NAC (N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine) 1000-1500mgCod liver Oil - 2-3 tsp

    Super enzyme (betaine HCI 200mg) 6-10 tablets a day



    What a mess.
     
  4. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Meal for 3/29/11:



    Breakfast - 10 slices bacon

    Lunch - 5 scrambled eggs (in CO) w/mushrooms, spinach, orange bell pepper, cheese, 2 slices bacon

    Dinner - Whey Protein shake w/2 raw eggs, coconut milk, pinch of heavy whipping cream



    Up at 5:45 am, bedtime was at 11pm. Spot-icing on stomach and upper back for 1 hr.
     
  5. PaleoSue

    PaleoSue New Member

    Hi, Clabbergirl. I wanted to welcome you to the site. It sounds like you have so much stress in your life. I really admire you working on this with everything you have going on.
     
  6. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Thank you, PaleoSue. I am used to it and I know there are others who are dealing with more. I figure, what choice do I have? Go back to eating wheat the CW way? That's not really an appetizing option either. But I do have my down times. Here's to fewer and fewer of those.
     
  7. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Last night was the first time I had lousy sleep since starting CT, and it was uncharacteristic of my sleep even before CT. I did a 35 min CT soak in the tub and then went to bed (yes I know I should be doing this earlier in the evening to prevent 'toxin dump destroying sleep', but I am having to pick my suboptimal battles). I was nice and relaxed afterward, no shivering or anything as usual, and I even took two 3mg melatonin when I only ever take 1. For some reason I woke at around 3:30 - wide awake. I feel awful this morning and am pounding down the caffeine to get me through the next 16+ hours of responsibility laid out before me. I don't know how people live with insomnia - I'm such a lightweight. I can't handle more than a couple of nights or I'm a virtual shell of a person.



    I'm hoping this was a fluke and not a result of my cold bath. I've taken 14 cold baths before, all of them longer than last night's, and had nothing but good, deep sleep afterward. Fingers crossed this doesn't happen again.



    The water felt nice though - and no gasping when I first stepped in. I'm sure it wasn't below 60 degrees, although I did not check it. The temps outside have been in the mid 80s lately so the water from the tap is warmer. I put in some ice blocks but not a ton. It felt very nice sitting in a cool bath and I could have gone longer but was sleepy. Still struggling with the choice of sleep or CT.



    Sometimes, I hate my life.
     
  8. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Updated on my CT regimen...



    I've had company visiting for the past week with one more week to go. That combined with the horrible detox symptoms or whatever the hell was going on with me over a week ago, I've slowed down quite a bit on the CT. I'm focusing on liver support and spot-icing. That's pretty much it. Laying on an ice mat every night except the night(s) I take a CT bath, putting one on my back or stomach depending on my sleeping position, running the A/C in the car, using a fan at my desk, and taking cooler showers every morning are all ways that I'm trying to become cold adapted, albeit gradually. I wish I had a lovely rain barrel or pool to dunk myself into every morning and night, but alas, that's not going to happen any time soon. I work for a living, am responsible for much, and don't have the access. It may take longer than I'd hoped, but I'd already decided I was destined to be fat last summer, so what if I'm fat a little longer? Time to let the hope fall to the wayside and just press on with what works for my life.



    The nice thing is that all my rushing to get adapted, as awful as it was (assuming it was responsible for the terrible exhaustion and emotional turmoil), it may have helped get some adaptation going already. The cold bath I took this week was nice. The cool showers I've taken since last week had a moment of shock but very, very quickly felt great. It's helped that the outside temps have increased into the 80s, I'm sure, and the house has been rather warm. Yesterday during some training, everyone else was freezing and even went on break to get their sweaters while I was comfortable in my short-sleeved shirt. The negative part of me jokes that the fat on my arms acts like insulation against the cold. Maybe it's true since in theory that's what should be burning off.



    The reality is that my arms are fatter than ever. No inches lost, nothing different. But it does feel nice standing under cool water and getting out of the shower feeling clean instead of instantly hot and bothered while I try to dry off and get dressed before work. It makes me feel less fat to feel like a normal human being and not a disgusting, perimenopausal fat woman as I'm readying for work than ever before. So I guess that's something.



    Woke up again in the early morning hours. What is up with this??? Where did this come from? This isn't normal for me! I had to pee and I was able to fall back asleep this time in contrast to last night's wake-up, but it bothers me just the same. Windows are open and an annoying mocking bird is going to have to die or find a lover soon.
     
  9. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Received my Uzzi Reiss book (the Natural Superwoman) yesterday and read a little bit before going to sleep last night. So far I like it, but I have SO much to learn about all of this. Combined with the CT info...wow. It would be a part time job if I let it.



    Going to cover the chapters on adrenals well before I get about supplementing, but I do feel better supplementing with DHEA now that I've read that part, that and pregnenolone.
     
  10. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Well, drat.



    Left my BAB at home this morning. I made pork chops for dinner last night and have delicious leftovers that are slathered in Kerry Gold butter and resting in the fridge as I type this. Except that the fridge is far away from me at present. Dammit.



    Looks like I will be having sort-of-bulletproof tea (bullet resistant?) this morning, made with scoops of coconut oil, and some coconut manna. That's all I have at my desk. /facepalm
     
  11. chocolate

    chocolate Silver

    Clabbergirl, I know you have the discipline to get leptin resistant. It is like everyone says, you plug along and then overnight things start to happen. I have been thin all my life and the fat and meat make me feel good. My muscles are getting much nicer. I think you'll notice that brown fat really soon with the ct. My neck seemed to get stiff and hot all at the same time one day and it seemed to mark a turning point. Things might be happening and you just aren't even noticing.
     
  12. TerrierMom

    TerrierMom Gold

    Hang in there!!! Btw people who have bulletproof coffee and tea ( like you did today) sometimes don't even need to eat lunch, I haven't tried it yet but hopefully it got you through the day! I thought I was stuck fat the rest of my (shortened) life too but I'm so hopeful now!!



    Your CT sounds like its really coming along if you're enjoying and or tolerating it so well! Congrats! Just remember its activating your BAT which will increase your fat burning ability. It will compound as you'll gain lean muscle mass and burn fat, with no exercise.. And as you ad muscle your fat burning accelerates. That's all I think about in my cold pool.... Gets me thru CT!!!



    As to waking up... On another thread it was discussed sometimes hi or lo nocturnal cortisol can do that. Blood sugar bottoms out between 1-3 am and your body uses cortisol (if you're well regulated) to boost it again...if not well regulated it shoots too much and you wake up. Or adrenaline is used if no cortisol... In which case you not only wake up but you get nightmares and palpitations (I'm in the latter camp!) thank God not every night but I relate to waking up way too early and not getting back to sleep and being a zombie at work... Woke up at 4:30 this morning and said heck with it, I'll browse the forum as todays a holiday and I can get a nap in later today.



    If I find out what one does for this condition I'll post back! Good luck you will get there!
     
  13. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Fell off the bandwagon while family visited, on both diet and CT. Until last night, I had not had a good cold soak for 2 weeks. I continued to spot-ice, however, usually at night, on my stomach area and/or upper back/neck, and have significantly reduced the temp of the showers I'm taking. The showers no longer feel 'warm', just cool. I haven't checked a temp, but figure I'm done with hot showers. All this and hoping I haven't gone backward. For what it's worth, that is.



    I'm still fat as ever. Which amazes me because regardless of whether I eat myself into a sugar/wheat coma or I eat a pound of bacon, I stay fat. It doesn't seem to make any difference. Am I truly destined to stay at this awful weight? To look like a frumpy old 40 something with a protruding belly and swollen looking arms and legs? Geez. I haven't even bothered with a scale - there's no point. My clothes don't show any reduction at all, and that's all I'm concerned about. My fat? Just as repulsive as 2 months ago. All these reports of people noticing minute differences in how their fat looks...um, not me. Mine is there and doesn't appear to be going anywhere.



    That being said, I'm still taking supplements and plodding along. And back to last night - I brought in ice packs and got the water to 60 degrees. Stayed in it for 45 min. I could've stayed longer but I needed to sleep. It felt colder than the previous bath 2 weeks ago, but was still quite bearable. I never got that odd lukewarm feeling that I've got before, but maybe the water was a bit colder than previously? We've had a cold spell so it came out of the tap colder than before. (I will need several more ice packs to get it in the 50s since the outside temps are increasing.) Trying to develop a carrier method for getting that much ice upstairs before a bath.



    But make no mistake, it was cold when I got in. I felt a difference it seemed. And I felt chilled, got goosebumps all over and bright cherry skin, but never a chatter or shiver. What's the deal? Is my fat truly insulating me from shivering? Isn't shivering what I want to burn more calories? Start more BAT creation? I am so confused and my brain hurts at the thought of reading more Kruse info right now.



    I hope I haven't gone backwards on the CT by skipping 2 weeks. I really hope.



    One positive thing to note - saw my Ear/Nose/Throat MD yesterday. We're in the middle of extreme pollen right now and I had no stuffy tissues. He put me on his ultrasound and I was clear for a change. I can only assume that's because of something I'm taking or doing. Which supplement though? Is this all attributed to CT? I've barely been doing CT. I haven't even taken any fish oil in 3 weeks. Most of my CT has been around my upper back and neck though - so I wonder. I can't even fathom a question to ask Dr. Kruse though. Just going to tuck that in my hat and wait. Relieved about it though, very relieved.



    And after my bath last night...this morning I felt pretty hellish. Detoxing again?
     
  14. Clabbergirl

    Clabbergirl New Member

    Latest labs. Hoping to get feedback on the optimal labs thread. Not sure what they mean. The thyroid stuff makes my eyes cross...I have never been able to remember what should be what or what X means when it comes to that. Whew.



    Vitamin D, 25 OH total - 95 (30-100 ng/mL range)

    Vitamin D, 25 OH, D2 - < 4

    Vitamin D, 25 OH, D3 - 95



    TSH - 3.98 (.40 - 4.50 range)



    T4, Free - 1.0 (.8 - 1.8 ng/dL)

    T3, Free - 2.7 (2.3 - 4.2 pg/mL)



    I've been supplementing Vit D at least 5,000/day for over 2 years, and upped it to 10,000-15,000/day within the last 2 months. I'm currently taking Armour for low thyroid, so those numbers are with supplementation. Thanks.
     

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